Hey Lilo, where's Stitch?

Dog and his crew are going after the Waikiki “Godfather”, Lilo Asiata. Dog has a bitter taste in his mouth about this apprehension. One of his son’s, Tucker, got involved with a man named Salsa who introduced him to some ‘ice” (Crack). They robbed someone and Tucker, Dog’s boy, got 20 years in prison as a result.

Dog was asked to ‘hunt’ Tucker, but he had to turn it down. He couldn’t do that to his own son. He also didn’t co-sign for Tucker either. He let the boy go to jail to pay his debt to society. That was 2002. Two years later, you can see the pain is still fresh. Dog chokes up when he talks about it.

Dog wanted to hunt Salsa hard and may have done something he’d regret, but he came into contact with Lilo Asiata, who he must now hunt. Lilo reminded him that Salsa ‘would get his.’

Dog doesn’t want to take in a man who helped him, but it’s his duty. Beth and the rest of the crew aren’t in the mood to go soft on this guy so Dog defers to them a bit.

The go to Waikiki Beach and come into contact with the “Beach Boys”….this ain’t no 60s soft pop group, people. These are rough customers who are tapped out on drugs and a violent lifestyle.

They find Lilo eventually and take him down hard. They were told he had a gun. Turns out it was a drill, but still…ya never know.

Dog thanks Lilo for his help back when he needed it and asked his forgiveness for taking him in now. Lilo told him not to feel bad. He should be thanking Dog.

What can I say? I could have a smart aleck remark, but it’s not a funny situation. Dog, the Bounty Hunter, has a serious (and tender) side. I must say that I am impressed with the stories and the real life raw emotions that Dog, Beth, his crew and their ‘apprehension’s’ wrestle with week after week.

— Panndyra Out.

LCS 3 – Roast Anyone?

I am so glad that this season of Last Comic Standing is finally winding down. Even the roast, which I was looking forward to for all of five minutes, was a big let down. I felt like I did when I was 8 and found out that my dad was the Tooth Fairy, except that experience was funnier. My dad could not fill out a gold lame dress to save his life.

Jay Mohr is such an easy target. I mean, this was supposed to be easy, right?

Jeffrey Ross – you know him from such shows as ….well, you probably know him as a comic, but aren’t sure why, how or where – was the master of ceremonies. Big yawn! Triumph the Insult Comic Dog may have been the second funniest of the night. I guess a wise-cracking dog means big yuks! Yes, buy his cd. He was certainly pitching it enough. He must need the kibble.

Geoff Brown was the first ‘roaster’. The man isn’t funny. I felt that listening to his act wasted 11 minutes of MY LIFE! It was only 3. At this rate, I’ll be dead before the hours up.

Alonzo stepped up to the plate and, in my opinion, hit a homerun. I’m not saying that because I interviewed him recently. He was funny. He reminded Jay of his “Jerry Maguire” success and compared his career to Tom Cruise’s. Heck that joke must’ve wrote itself. He gets my vote because he was classy, not blue and well, his writing is just the best of the other comics. He stood head and shoulders above the competition, even Gulman…who’s tallest, did not compare.

Tess was the best I’d seen her. You, go, Tess. She used some interesting props like handcuffs, a step stool and a whip. She quipped that she had a crush on Jay because she always wanted to ‘do it with a white chick.’ Hey, Tess! I’m available for parties….but I’m not white. Oh well!

Rich Vos was nervous or something. He decided to insult the audience. Yeah, that always gets my vote.

Gary Gulman mentioned nothing about cookies, but he did talk about more and more of Jay’s hair ‘getting voted off’ each week. Poor Jay! He tried on a new wig from the soon-to-be released Donald Trump collection and well, he should stay bare. It’s best. Gary also said we haven’t seen a ‘higher forehead on network TV since the Munsters.’ Poor Herman. Why insult him prior to Halloween? It ain’t right.

Todd Glass sang a song. Well, now I know of at least two Reality TV shows he shouldn’t be on. He tried to get a boatload of insults in under the time constraint, but it was just rushed, he was flushed and he does sweat as if he were ‘doin’ a porno’ as Jay Mohr pointed out.

Jay Mohr did have a good set, but he was given lots of set-ups by the comics who went before him. Good job.

John Heffron and Dave Mordal (Yes, DAVE MORDAL!) made it to the finales, which begin next week. I only hope that Alonzo Bodden joins them.

— Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos. Do you even care about what I write? If so, email me at panndyra@yahoo.com.

Step Away From the Mascara-Starting Over, 9/28/04

Tuesday 9/28/04

It’s morning. Chloe has been up since 3 and Sinae is getting her up so Josie can take a break.

Iyanla comes and finds Kim, who is praying on the sundeck. Iyanla narrates that it’s a beautiful morning but it’s gonna be a rough day for Kim. They go inside and Iyanla asks, “how real do you want to be?” They face a mirror and Kim says she looks pretty, flashy, like someone who likes to dress nice. She says dressing nice makes her feel better about herself. Iyanla asks her to look beneath the flash, and Kim sees “a girl who thinks she’s ugly and angry, judgmental and sad. She believes that without the makeup and clothes, people won’t accept her for who she is. She acknowledges that she’s beginning to see that if she can spot ugliness in herself, maybe others can too. Iyanla tells Kim she wants her to learn how to be ok with her stuff, not cover it up. She orders Kim to wipe off the makeup that has taken an hour (!) to put on. Kim tells Iyanla she has had cosmetic surgery on her eyes and botox to keep from looking old. Looking old means being closer to death and Kim declares she is going to fight it every step of the way. “Until today,” declares Iyanla. She sends Kim to fetch all her makeup, jewelry and her Louis Vuitton bag. Kim argues but does it. While she’s grumbling and gathering, Sommer chuckles and Kim gets angry and wants to know why she thinks it’s funny.

Iyanla confiscates everything and give Kim plain sweats and a black backpack that does not match her shoes. Kim warns Iyanla not to piss her off, and Iyanla observes it’s probably not possible to be more pissed than Kim is now – but she’ll try. She asks if Kim wants to break something (think “pull my finger”) but Kim says she does not hurt people. Iyanla points out that Kim hurts herself, and Kim says that’s because she deserves it. I am surprised there is no hug here but Iyanla does reassure Kim that she does not deserve to be hurt, and at the end of this tunnel she will never want to do it again.

Jennifer goes to tell Sommer how Josie feels about her previous remarks. Sommer shares that she has ordered a new swimsuit because she knows that Josie will not wear the old one now. Jennifer assures Sommer that you can’t waste your energy trying to adjust yourself so everyone will like you.

Meanwhile, Jennifer is late with her assignment of making 3 tapes to tell 3 people what they have done to make her feel loved. She has chosen her father, mother and sister, but she doesn’t know what to say so she rushes through.

While that’s happening, Iyanla is giving Kim her assignment. Kim wants to know if Iyanla is going to make her go out in public. Iyanla says no, she is going to GIVE her an OPPORTUNITY. Kim will volunteer at an assisted living center for elderly people with Alzheimer’s disease. Kim is quite sure this will trigger an anxiety attack and Iyanla invites Kim to call her names in her journal. Kim assures Iyanla she will. They move to the kitchen where Iyanla gets a plate from the cupboard and gives it to Kim to break. (It’s a really nice plate too, IMHO.) Kim declines because she doesn’t want to clean it up. so Sinae offers to clean it. Kim decides to break it outdoors away from Chloe. (That’s right, Iyanla told someone to break glass near a live baby!) They go out to the terrace where Iyanla get Kim good and mad so she can make a really strong smash. Then Kim goes inside, slamming the door. Luckily for Chloe, it doesn’t seem to close very loudly.

Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Sommer. He narrates that he wants her to have a connection with him because he knows she’s feeling alienated in the house. Sommer has noticed Towanda does not like her and also tells him she made a goof with Josie. (She has it wrong, but this is because nobody will tell her what she said that was so hurtful.) She admits to being a control freak and it bothers her that she can’t control the people around her. She tells him Jennifer already reminded her of this.

Cut to Kim getting ready to leave. She grumbles that she wears grubby sweats and no makeup at home so she doesn’t understand how this assignment will help.

Jennifer shows up with her tapes and explains that she just said the first thing that came into her mind. Iyanla calls her on this and tries to get her to delve deeper into her relationship with her mother.

Then to the kitchen, where Sinae has saved a piece of broken plate for Kim. Towanda and Josie are also there and they have worked themselves up into a real fury over Sommer, who is exercising nearby with her headphones on.

After the break Kim arrives and it turns out to be a daycare where not all the clients have Alzheimer’s. Kim apologizes for her clothes and is assured everyone looks like this.

Sommer finds Towanda in the kitchen with Sinae and wants to talk about their tension. “Do I annoy you?” She asks. Towanda replies. “It’s not that you annoy me, it’s just some of the things you say piss me off.” (Ok, she annoys you.) Towanda chooses not to tell Sommer what’s really bothering her, but Sommer narrates she knows it’s because Towanda sees her as the Other Woman like the one her father cheated with.

At the daycare, Kim is told she will be choosing one client to buddy up with. She immediately jumps on Emma, a well-dressed lady. I like Emma too, because she is a retired seamstress. It turns out Emma is a package deal with her equally delightful friend Walcie, who used to travel all over the place taking care of babies. Kim asks Emma what she thinks of old age, and Emma tells her if you’re not healthy, it’s for the birds, but it’s ok if you’re healthy.

Iyanla is disappointed with Jennifer’s taping effort. She tries to get Jennifer to imagine her mother with MS, unable to see or walk, and being powerless to help if one of her children needs her. All this does is remind Jennifer of how much she had to sacrifice to help her mother. She’s still mad about it, exclaiming “I’m the kid, not the adult!” (um, you’re 22…) Iyanla wants to know who asked her to put her life on hold and Jennifer acknowledges nobody did, but she felt she had no choice. (that might be true, she was 14 and somebody could have tried to stop her from getting a job.) Now she gets to close her eyes and be six. :clap: She admits she loves her mother even though there are things her mother can’t do for her. She says she needs her mother to listen and she doesn’t want to be angry anymore. In confessional, Jennifer narrates that she’s never expressed what she’s wanted to say to her sister, father and mother. Iyanla congratulates her and announces that Jennifer has found her voice. She can mail her tapes to her family and take the “anger” card off her necklace.

Kim is finishing up her assignment with Emma & Walcie and wants to do it again sometime.

There’s a meeting in the loft with Rhonda and the topic will be weight. Towanda announces that this is the biggest she’s ever been (ok, I was trying to stay away from this subject but I have been wanting to say that Towanda is really quite freakishly thin.) Kim groans and Rhonda reminds the room that “it’s true for her”. Kim wants to have her breasts lifted, a tummy tuck and liposuction. She feels like a football player but wants to look like a model. Josie is not happy that she went from size 5 to 15 while pregnant (she doesn’t say what she is now, but I am guessing an 8, possibly smaller) and takes this opportunity to tell Rhonda about Sommer’s gaffe in the pool. Josie declares that she will not swim again and will be on the treadmill nonstop from now on. (Can you say “passive-aggressive”?) Rhonda asks Sommer if she tried to lose weight before her bypass, and Sommer tells her she did, but never lost more than 24 pounds. She tells the group her bypass cost $25,000.00 and they are shocked. Towanda notes it’s more than in vitro and Josie narrates that for that amount she could buy a house and just be fat in her house with Chloe. (Note to Life Coaches: show Josie what stuff really costs) Jennifer says Sommer could just quit eating shit and go to the gym. She tells Sommer it’s not ok to have a bypass unless you’re morbidly obese. (Rhonda narrates that this is really about the Other Woman factor, but I recall that they jumped on this topic before they knew about the boyfriend thing.) Rhonda ends the meeting and tells the women there will be a special guest tonight.

Jennifer mails her tapes and feels relieved.

Back at the house, Josie narrates that she felt Kim was too materialistic when she came to the house and she’s glad Kim has to take off her makeup and lose the Vuitton. In solidarity, she removes her diamond earrings that were a gift from her grandmother.

The special guest is a belly dance instructor. Kim decides she needs to wear something more comfortable, so she puts on fancy pajamas. Josie narrates that Kim has failed her assignment by getting “all glamified”. Towanda is really happy. She has always wanted to learn belly dancing because of the way men react to it. Sinae thinks it’s amazing because the bigger your hips, the sexier it’s going to look. Jennifer feels she has confirmed her belief that she is un-coordinated.

Later Jennifer tells Josie that Sommer has ordered her a new swimsuit and Josie says this feel like charity.

Kim is telling Sinae she did not understand her assignment. Sinae says that’s because she has not hit rock bottom yet. Sinae narrates that the next couple of days will be “a walk through hell.”

No Balls No Babies – The Benefactor, Episode 3

[i]by atarus[/i]

We start off this show with Mark looking and analyzing the final 10. There are fiery people, there are people that are more subtle in their strategies, many are true competitors, some people rely on creativity or being nice, and some people are true athletes. He singles out Shawn, saying that she needs to adapt, otherwise he’s gonna toss her.

Mark sits down with the Benefactees and states that he’s seen how well they’ve done in a group, now it’s time to find out how well they do individually. There’s no more communal spirit, it’s a war with a single survivor. He gives them each $1000, saying he has started multi-million dollar corporations with less money, and says they have until 8 PM to use the money. He then goes into a monologue for the camera, saying everyone can be successful, but separating the dreamers from the doers is the doing. They have to prove to him that they are something special, this is their chance to separate themselves from the pack and become a star.

Tiffaney puzzles, wondering what exactly Mark is looking for. Mark then answers by talking to the camera. He wants them to make him say “Wow.” He got a job at a computer company without knowing anything about computers. Fear is either a roadblock or a motivator.

I’d like to take this time to announce that I really like how this show is being done. It’s like reality television mixed with an A&E Biography. Honestly, I had know idea who the heck Mark Cuban was before this show started. But now I know enough about him to write a report about him. Anyway, back to the recap.

Femia says that you can feel the tension in the air now that it’s an individual competition. Mark Cuban says they need to challenge themselves and get out of their comfort zones. Shawn says she knows that Mark likes creative ideas, so she decides to make a children’s book and release it on the same episode of the show. Femia wants to start a business, Tiffaney wants to go skydiving, but the place is closed. Spencer wants to create a software system and patent it. Dominic, obviously, wanted to get a band together and be a rock star.

Mark says that he expects Chris to shine, he thinks Chris has a lot of potential. He says of Dominic “at first I thought, he’s a nice looking house, but nobody’s home.” He then says that Dominic actually has a heart of gold, and he’s fearless. Dominic was very straightforward, he goes to a guitar shop, tries out different stuff, and picks out a guitar, and spends all his money on that one guitar. Linda is computer illiterate and fearful of the computers, but she spends her time working with web programmers. Tiffaney finally talks the skydiving people into letting her do it and she’s off to do that.

Dominic is picking at his guitar while Spencer is trying to concentrate. Dominic is surprised at how hard it is to learn the guitar, and idly chit-chats with Spencer, who looks like he’s about to shove a pencil through Dominic’s eye. Spencer says, of Dominic, that he doesn’t think it’s realistic to learn guitar in one day. He then gets in a car with Shawn and chit-chats about stuff, then Shawn gets out at her stop. Spencer then talks to a person about putting his airport system together, lots of boring details and elevator music.

Mark brings everyone together. He says executing the plan right separates doing good from failure, and Kevin mentions everyone is tense and nervous.

First up is Tiffaney, and she shows her skydiving video. She quotes Mark, saying “no balls, no babies” and that she remembered that he had told Latane that he’d never for a million dollars go skydiving, so she’d go for it. Latane then mentions he thought it was awful risky for Tiffaney to go skydiving. Chris is a hockey fan, so he becomes a Dallas Star for a day, complete with jersey. He met the head coach and worked on lots of drills on the ice.

Honestly, after watching these first two, I was like….man, these seem so boring. I would have tried to come up with something more interesting. And it’d only get worse (from my point of view).

Next up is Latane, who made a website entitled whosgonnabeastar.com. It was a very extensive website, and he hoped to get advertisers and take his site off the ground. (Blah, boring.) Dominic was surprised that Latane did the rock star image, and Mark commented he thought that Latane felt he needed a gimmick. Spencer then talks about his airport system, and security against terrorists, and blah blah. Of all the projects, his was probably the most practical, but the most boring for television. We have more elevator music too. Shawn states that Spencer’s was the worst because she didn’t understand any of it. Kevin then plays a song that he wrote, recorded, and sung all by himself (well, with a producer too, obviously). As Kevin played his song, he said he felt good because everyone’s face lit up as he played it.

Femia creates her own fashion design label. Shawn says she wants to be a sexy working mom, and Femia did that for her. On the other hand, Linda said she’d never wear Femia’s outfits. Shawn then shares her children’s book, is “emotional” as she reads it. I wanted to smack her, I can think of a lot of people that should have gotten her spot on the show and would have probably done better. Christine does a dance routine, boring again. Linda goes against her computerphobia and put together a webpage for her mother and her struggle. The finale is Dominic, and he bought his guitar and got a band to play with him for his project. The group and Dominic rock out a lot, and at the end Dominic just goes crazy and breaks his $1000 guitar (after he says that he’s never had a guitar before and couldn’t afford one, what a crazy guy…I love him!) and then jumps in the pool. Chris states that whatever Dominic does, he doesn’t do with extreme intelligence, but Mark says “everything Dominic has done has put a smile on my face.” He then tells the group of ten that four will be going home.

Latane feels he deserves to be here. Mark then announces who will remain. Femia, who took a huge challenge and did something out of her comfort zone, Spencer, Dominic, who was a star and stood out, Kevin, Tiffaney, who Mark related to because he’s afraid of heights…and…..two more people. He says two people have a chance for the last spot, and they are Chris and Linda. Latane, Shawn, and Christine are eliminated, to no surprise as Shawn and Latane were the two leftovers from the horrendous group of four last time, and Christine wasn’t even on the show up until the dancing thing, as far as I know. It’s too bad, she was kinda cute too.

Mark says that nothing Christine did said she was a star, and Shawn just rubbed him the wrong way, that she was trying to manipulate him by putting the game into a children’s book. Mark then states that some people are competitive and squash their competition like a bug. He then leaves it up to the five already chosen people to choose between Linda and Chris. Do they help a friend, or squash the competition? The five talk to each other, Femia wants to eliminate Linda because she’s her competition (and Mark sees that Femia is a competitive person). He then says that Chris worked hard but didn’t get out of his comfort zone, and he felt Linda might have been playing up her computerphobia, so that’s why they’re the ones being decided between.

In the end, Linda is voted to stay in the game, and Chris is eliminated. Chris says he brought his A-Game, and Mark knew that, and it wasn’t Mark that took him out, it was the friends that he’d made. Dominic confesses that now that he’s in the final 6, he doesn’t think he needs to change his game style. Femia says it’s now or never for her to step up and make a name for herself. And Linda is no fan of Femia because she voted against her.

On the next episode of The Benefactor, the group of 6 is divided into two teams of 3 and organize a group of basketball players to play the first million-dollar game of HORSE. In the end, Mark offers a bribe, and somebody takes it…..my money’s on Tiffaney taking it.

Comments, questions, complaints? atarus33@yahoo.com is my e-mail, drop me a line. Atarus, out!

Bankin' on Love – Starting Over, 9/27/04


Some of the housemates are enjoying a moonlight swim. Sommer narrates that she has bonded with everyone except Towanda. then we see Towanda on the phone telling her husband about Sommer. Her husband agrees that Sommer is horrible.

Outside, Josie is telling the group she is wearing her 8th-grade bathing suit because it’s all she has. Trying to empathize, Sommer makes a joking remark about how much bigger Josie’s breasts must be than they were when she wore the suit in eighth grade. Josie is immediately offended, telling Towanda later in the bedroom that this brought back memories of her first crush telling her she was too fat in that very same swimsuit, which remark caused her to lose 80 pounds before high school. It also reminds her that since Chloe’s birth, Josie is fatter than she’d like to be. Towanda assures her that her breasts are great, saying “people would pay money to have your cousins”.

Sommer is shown talking to a friend on the phone: “so far, so good”.

The next morning Sommer comes down to breakfast and is offered pancakes and cereal. She tells Kim she needs to have a lot of protein, but doesn’t say what she will be having. Kim offers her some hot dogs.

Jennifer meets Iyanla in a park and complains about the necklace of index cards she has been wearing for the past three days. They discuss what loves looks like. In Jennifer’s experience, it looks like leaving, lying and yelling. Iyanla asks which one she does, and Jennifer says she just leaves. They talk about her ex boyfriend Jack, who is still a friend and actually has been listening to Jennifer vent on the phone about Deborah. Jennifer and Jack dated for two years but split because he lied to her about things, including phone calls from an ex girlfriend he had told her was his sister. Iyanla gives her a camera and an assignment to wander the park taking pictures of what love looks like. Wearing the necklace will be optional.

Josie meets with Dr. Stan and talks about Chloe’s father. She has described him as her best friend but he was never her boyfriend because neither wanted a commitment. When Chloe was born he pulled back because he wants to party in college “off of Daddy’s money”. The doctor tells Josie her focus on Chloe keeps her from having to think about herself, and that if she wants to date, she can make both a priority, just different. He narrates that she is romanticizing her relationship with Chloe’s father. Then Josie narrates that maybe when he is more responsible, they can all be together.

Sinae, Kim and Towanda are playing cards and talking about Sommer, when she comes into the room and begins playing with Kim’s hair while Kim studies her cards.

Back in the park, Jennifer is having a hard time finding things that look like love, because, she says, she came into it with a bad attitude.

There is a loft scene with Iyanla telling the women that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. She wants everyone to tell their first love. Josie says hers was Chloe’s father. It hurts that he doesn’t want to be involved with Chloe because, he says, he doesn’t have anything to offer. Jennifer’s first love was Scott, whom she calls her “Big Boo-Boo”. She says she knew she loved him because at age 13, she couldn’t stand to be without him and she expected that they would be together forever. Then when pressed, she says it was love at first that later turned to lust. Iyanla wants the women to share their first heartbreak. Towanda says it was Matt, who was not there for her when her parents were having problems. Sinae’s was her dad. Kim says that besides her dad, her first heartbreak was Guy, who asked her to marry him and then later she found out he’s gay. Iyanla asks how to mend that, and Sommer says by falling in love again. Towanda disagrees vociferously, and narrates that she’s only doing it to prove that she will refuse to agree with Sommer on anything. By now Sommer understands she is not wanted here. Iyanla’s lesson that the energy you spend feeling hurt can be re-directed to showing love, is not being received.

Later Sommer sits with Josie and talks about small town life. Josie narrates that she knows Sommer is just trying to make up for last night and she’d rather have an apology.

Josie and Rhonda meet outside to talk about love. Rhonda prsents her with a jar which will be her “love bank”. She is to write down on a little heart whenever whe feels someone is showing her love, and deposit it in the bank. Rhonda wants her to see herself as someone who gives and receives love. Josie decides she will also do it whenever she shows love to someone else.

Iyanla neets with Jennifer to see the pictures she has taken of things that look like love. Jennifer lapses into babytalk describing how trusting she used to be before she had the boo-boo. Iyanla gives her an assignment to think of three people and 3 things each has done to let her know they love her, then record it on cassette. Jen wonders how much longer she’ll have to wear the necklace of hurts and is told she’ll have to earn her way out of it. She says it feels like she’s being punished and Iyanla asks her to find another way to look at it.

Towanda and Kim are dissing Sommer some more. They can’t get over the married boyfriend thing and they think Sommer needs to apologize to Josie. Later Kim and Sommer are talking about Sommer’s diet and smoking, and Sommer understands Kim is reaching out to her.

Rhonda, Iyanla and Dr. Stan have a meeting to talk about the womens’ feelings toward Sommer. Dr. Stan says it will be good for them to put themselves in someone else’s place, and a chance for Sommer to learn self-acceptance is a world that does not accept the Other Woman. The plan to let Sommer know she had an impact on the womens’ fears, and that it may have seemed like she needed to show that even as a fat girl, she could take someone else’s man. (Is anyone else not feeling this? He was getting a divorce!) They call her “The perfect candidate” and then we see Sommer on the phone telling her friend she doesn’t think she’ll make it.

Later Sommer is online trying to buy Josie a new swimsuit to make up for hurting her feelings in the pool. (uh-oh.)

Josie calls Chloe’s father to ask about any health problems that may affect Chloe in the future. she tells him what Chloe’s up to and he listens politely. She asks about the health issues and he says there are none except that he has high blood pressure and he goes on about it briefly. When Josie hangs up she tells the housemates this is the first time she has called him in three months. (Hey, that’s longer than I ever held out with guys I didn’t even have a baby with!) In confessional, she says his family abandoned him and now he’s afraid to have a family who cares, that maybe he’s afraid she and Chloe would leave him too. Weeping, she says she’s confident that she could create a family with him and that he is her soul mate.

Tough Crowd – Starting Over, 9/24/04


Kim is on the phone with her daughter, who’s celebrating a birthday. Kim tells her that today she’ll be getting a new roommate in the tiny bedroom, because her other roommate “flipped out and left”.

The women meet with Dr. Stan in the loft to talk divorce. Towanda relates that in her parents’ divorce, she always felt she had to take a side. The women tell the doctor that men cheat because they are greedy and enjoy lying, that in fact men are born to lie. Jennifer narrates that a lot of the items on her necklace of baggage are the result of anger at her father. Dr. Stan wants to know how you can predict whether your man will cheat. The women tell him you can’t. Towanda says you just enjoy fidelity while it’s there, then plan for a divorce when he cheats. The doctor narrates that for these women to forgive their fathers, would be to betray their mothers. Towanda tells him that if you forgive a cheater, he will continue and just be more slick the next time. So what stops men from cheating? Towanda tells him the thought of what he might lose. Kim says it’s about not putting yourself in a position in the first place. She feels she was robbed of her chance at a normal life. Jennifer says she feels “gypped.” (I wish these women would show me someone who had a “normal” life cause I sure don’t know anyone who thinks they did!) The doctor wonders what is the payoff, to still be angry 20 years later.

Outside, Iyanla has lined up some wooden cutouts of people on the lawn. They are supposed to represent all the members of the Braxton family, including the stepmother. She has a stack of labels already written and Towanda is to watch Iyanla attach labels to the appropriate person. The first thing she does is change “stepmother” to “dad’s wife” because she believes “stepmother” is a label that needs to be earned. Iyanla narrates it’s interesting that Towanda refuses to acknowledge her stepmother, yet says she wants to heal. Towanda gets everyone labeled. Of course Toni is the “golden child”. Towanda is the Angry Martyr, the Sad Pleasing Servant who feels like a Failure. Iyanla narrates that Towanda is the kind of person who has to “see it to believe it”, and this exercise will help. She asks if Towanda is willing to give up the “Angry” label. Yes. Enough to forgive the dad’s wife? Towanda hesitates and Iyanla reminds her that she once admitted that it might be her problem, not theirs.

The women are still wondering who their new roommate will be. Jennifer hopes it will be someone who will seek help. Iyanla meets Kim outside downtown and tells her this will be her chance to start a new relationship, not to judge right away, and no bribing allowed. Her assignment will be to clean the room (done already) maybe buy some flowers or a card, and she is given a small budget to plan a pajama party. Kim asks Iyanla, “what if some people are just cold…distant, rude, mean, inconsiderate?” Iyanla narrates that Kim tries to blame and make others responsible for what she is feeling. Iyanla tells her that some people might just need love, and if you have it to give, why not? But Kim is still worried and wants to know why they can’t give it to HER. (We are seriously hypothetical here!) Iyanla tells her she has to because she’s the better student. She practically orders Kim to “let this be a relationship where you begin without expecting anything in return”.

Towanda is with Dr. Stan. He asks if she trusts her husband. She tells him yes, about 80%. He comments that she doesn’t looks like a suspicious person and she tells him she smiles more when she’s really hurting, but it is exhausting whenever someone pulls anything out of her. She describes her conflicting emotions as “like a mob”. She doesn’t want people to think she’s weak and take advantage of her. The doctor asks her if she has second guessed him already (?) and she says yes. Then he tells her she didn’t because he already knew she would not be telling him anything today. :shrug:

Jennifer picks Kim up from her party shopping errand and they discuss the new roommate. It’ll be difficult for anyone to be comfortable, they agree, because everyone else has already formed bonds. Jennifer says she’s worried it’s “gonna be another f***ing psycho”.

Meanwhile, Towanda tells the doctor that she tries to be perfect so nobody will “think ill” of her or her family. She shares that she would like to have a relationship with her father, but not if that means getting to know his wife. Dr. Stan reminds her that it was her father who had a contract with her mother, not the new wife. So she would be ok with forgiving the man who broke his contract, but not the woman who had no contract. Normal, he says, but not useful.

When the new roommate arrives, the women are all peeking out at her, but they run away so that when she knocks, there is nobody nearby to answer the door. They finally do let her in. Her name is Sommer. Kim shows her to the room and tells her which drawers are hers (Kim gets 3 shelves in the closet, she tells Sommer, because Sommer got two drawers in the armoire where Kim only has one.) Sommer narrates that it will be interesting to see how this arrangement works out, with two aggressive people in a small room. She is also shown saying she is in the house to “discover who I’m really gonna be when I don’t have to let the weight make the decisions for me”. Jennifer narrates that she thinks Sommer is “really nice”.

The ladies gather in the loft to hear Sommer’s story. She’s from Texas, 26 and 4 months post-op from a gastric bypass. She’s lost 75 pounds. She relates that she saw her grandmother being neglected in a nursing home because she was so heavy nobody would come to change her. (Hel-lo-o-o, lawsuit?!? They have hoists for that!!) Anyway, she tells the group she was (past tense) a talent agent in a modeling agency. Kim narrates that she is curious why Sommer chose to have surgery to lose weight. Then she is shown asking Sommer if jealousy over the models was the reason. Sommer says no, and that her insurance didn’t cover the procedure. Josie jumps in and points out that it couldn’t have been a health issue in that case, and Sommer says that at nearly 300 pounds, her health was just beginning to fail, so she decided to have the operation then. More pictures come up on the plasma. There is a friend who died in a car accident. Then there is a picture of Sommer and a handsome young man. His name is Nathan and they were close friends until he joined the military and married his ex-girlfriend. Some time had passed and when Sommer saw him at a party, they ended up alone together and had sex. This immediately sets Kim and Towanda off. but Sommer explains that she later found out that Nathan and his wife had already filed for divorce three weeks earlier. She and Nathan were “inseparable” but then he too was killed, driving drunk. Sommer was “not allowed” to go to the funeral. Iyanla narrates that it will be interesting to have an “other woman” in the house. (I guess this is the closest they could get on short notice.) Josie narrates that this reminds her that everyone she ever dated cheated on her, sometimes with her own friends. As Sommer sees her ultimate goal – “Lose weight, gain self” – Kim narrates that she is trying not to make any judgments. Then she is shown in the kitchen telling Towanda, Jen and Josie that “all of us have been a prodigy (sic) of the other woman”. (Well, actually Jen hasn’t, unless you consider drugs an “other woman”.)

Sommer has her first exercise with Rhonda, drawing life-size pictures of her ideal body, her previous body, and Rhonda traces her current body. Sommer writes descriptive adjectives on all three. She tells Rhonda she just wants to look as good as she feels, but Rhonda points out that her present body is covered with derogatory terms. Sommer says she has high standards, and Rhonda tells her that is another excuse that she’ll be letting go of. In confessional, Sommer says she’s “the most insecure confident person you’ll ever meet.”

Sommer has a cigarette on the balcony while the rest of the ladies prepare for a pajama party/luau. Kim has it all planned, right down to where each one will sit, and makes sure everyone knows she got the pink lei for herself. Josie is wondering out loud why Kim should be forced to make new friendships when her goal is to mend old ones. Kim goes out to fetch Sommer and tells her she can’t smoke there. They have their party and everyone seems to be having fun except Sommer, and Chloe who is frightened by all the noise. Sommer narrates that she will be awake late trying to guess how everyone feels. Kim narrates that she doesn’t respect someone who had an affair with a married man, and she knows this is a judgement. in confessional, Towanda says “it’s gonna be a ride” to accept Sommer.

GUG – Episode 7 — Who's your (God) Mommy?

Victoria is overwhelmed. Being a single mother wearing so many hats – author, reporter, friend, etc. can get to anyone. Right now, she’s stressed and doesn’t see any end in sight.

She realizes that she’s giving a lot to others and not getting enough to recharge her own batteries. (And no, I don’t mean those kind of batteries, people. Get your minds out of the gutter, okay?) She admits that motherhood is the most important role of them all. She loves her son’s but is very alarmed at their behavior.

Da Boyz are rude, crude and a little bit lewd these days. They’re teens and a lot of it is to be expected, but Mama Victoria and her crew have to attend a function with royalty in a week or so. She tells the boys that they are going to have an ‘etiquette lesson’.

They’re not too happy. They’d rather be hanging around the mall with their friends, picking up phone numbers and trying to charm the ladies. (God, was I ever a girl who could be so easily sweet-talked? I hope not!)

Hilke, the etiquette teacher, is strict and doesn’t take any b.s. She tells them to take off their hats, to listen. John asks her, “Is it proper to yell at a lady?” She rubbed them the wrong way and they were obviously being smart a$$e$. At least, Victoria recognized it.

In the meantime, Victoria gets this weird letter from an elderly lady called Esta who’s looking for ‘help’. It seems that she’s being terrorized by someone who burglarizes her, etc. Jen, Victoria’s asst, is called in to scope out the situation. Victoria is afraid that the situation is weird, but can’t ‘refuse a request’.

Esta hints that Victoria can help her because she ‘knows the whole world.’ Victoria says she’s not like her dad. She’s not a mafioso, but, like him, wants to help others. She makes a visit to Esta and offers to get a security expert to visit her home to see what’s going on.

That’s about it. There was just a lot of ‘normal’ stuff. Well, Gotti – normal.

Hasta la next week.

Panndyra Out.

The Archive

Click on episode titles to read the archived recaps.

The Amazing Race 6

“Long Way From Brooklyn” – The Amazing Race 6, Premiere
That Confusing Stick Shift – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 2
“66, 68, 80…” – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 3
“Wake Up, BooBoo!” – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 4
“Jonathon is the Biggest Wiener of Them All” – Amazing Race 6, Episode 5
To Be Continued? – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 6
The Recap Show – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 7
“You Messed My Face Up! I’m Super Model!” – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 8
“Damn, I’m Good!” – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 9
“Jonathon, Help Her!” – Amazing Race 6, Episode 10
“They Went Away” – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 11
Taxi Drivers Scare Me – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 12
Nice Guys Finish Last – The Amazing Race 6, Finale

Survivor: Vanuatu

captainD’s Boot Prediction – Episode 1
At Least They Got A Rock – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 1
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 2
Dolly In The Middle – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 2
captainD’s Boot Prediction Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 3
Dead Man Walking – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 3
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 4
Da Da Da – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 4
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 5
Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 5
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 6
PIGGIES! – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 6
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 7
“Yasur Will Burn” – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 7
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 8
The Cat Who Choked On The Canary – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 8
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 9
No Bones About It – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 9
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 10
25-30 Plans….That All Suck – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 10
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 11
“Vengeance Is Mine” – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 11
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 12
I Screwed You, Didn’t I? – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 12
captainD’s Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 13
Oh, The Irony! – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 13
captainD’s Survivor Vanuatu Finale Predictions
“The Game Ended Up Playing Me” – Survivor: Vanuatu Finale
“God Bless Twila” – Survivor: Vanuatu Reunion

The Apprentice 2

It’s Not Personal, It’s Just Business – The Apprentice 2, Episode 1
Stupid is as Stupid Does – The Apprentice 2, Episode 2
That Girl Ain’t Right – The Apprentice 2, Episode 3
You Failed You Failed You Failed! – The Apprentice 2, Episode 4
It’s Not Even Going to Be Close – The Apprentice 2, Episode 5
Call the Fashion Police – The Apprentice 2, Episode 6
Every Dog Has Its Day – The Apprentice 2, Episode 7
NYPD Blues – The Apprentice 2, Episode 8
Extreme Makeover: Trump Edition – The Apprentice 2, Episode 9
Always the Bridesmaid – The Apprentice 2, Episode 10
Butt Shots and The Piano Man – The Apprentice 2, Episode 11
Getting The Edge on The Competition – The Apprentice 2, Episode 12
Two Down, One to Go – The Apprentice 2, Episode 14

Growing Up Gotti, Season 1

GUG – Episode 1, Meet the Family
GUG – Episode 2, Da Boyz
GUG – Episode 3, Young Studs & Tattoo Runs
GUG – Episode 4, Goons Over Miami
GUG Episode 5, What do Victoria & Andy Dick have in common?
GUG – Episode 6 — Let me COUNT the ways
GUG – Episode 7 — Who’s your (God) Mommy?
GUG – Episode 8? – Injections & Objections
Open House – GUG Episode 9
GUG Episode 10 – Grandma Never Wears “Tight-Ass” Clothes Like You Do
Expanding our Horizons — GUG, Episode 11
A Very Gotti Christmas
Gotti – Season 1 Recap

The Biggest Loser

The Biggest Loser – A Preview
You Win Five Pounds of Lard! – The Biggest Loser, Premiere
Jaws, Not Scales, Are Dropping – The Biggest Loser, Episode 2
Beware the Cinnamon Bun – The Biggest Loser, Episode 3
Ryan is Human After All – The Biggest Loser, Episode 5

Starting Over – Season 2

Starting Over, round two
Is You Is or Is You Ain’t My Daddy -Starting Over 9/13/04
How Long Must I Wait? Starting Over, 9/14/04
Oh Lord, Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood-Starting Over 9/15/04
Pick a Card, Any Card – Starting Over, 9/16/04
Secrets & Lies – Starting Over, 9/17/04
Mommy’s First Meltdown – Starting Over, 9/20/04
Dress-up Day – Starting Over, 9/21/04
Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead – Starting Over, 9/22/04
How Ya Like Me Now? – Starting Over, 9/23/04
Tough Crowd – Starting Over, 9/24/04
Bankin’ on Love – Starting Over, 9/27/04
Step Away From the Mascara-Starting Over, 9/28/04
Honor your inner Prynne – Starting Over, 9/29/04
A Mean Hook – Starting Over, 9/30/04
If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy – Starting Over, 10/1/04
God Wants Me To Dress Better – Starting Over, 10/4/01
Painted Ladies – Starting Over, 10/5/04
J’Accuse – Starting Over, 10/6/04
Anything But The Cheez Doodles – Starting Over, 10/7/04
Burberry Barbie -Starting Over, 10/8/04
I DID Tee a Puddy Tat – Starting Over, 10/11/04
Shade o’ Grey-Starting Over, 10/12/04
Hot For Teacher-Starting Over, 10/13/04
Sister Act – Starting Over, 10/14/04
Beach Babies-Starting Over, 10/15/04
Barnyard Follies – Starting Over, 10/18/04
Don’t Touch That Button – Starting Over, 10/19/04
Which is Sexier … Bunge Cords or Ice Fishing – Starting Over, 10/20/04
Forgiveness – Starting Over, 10/21/04
You Are Fearless – Starting Over, 10/22/04
Who Zat Lady-Starting Over, 10/25/04
What Kind of Yakka Yakka? Starting Over, 10/26/04
Mo Berry Blue – Starting Over, 10/27/04
Dirty Dirt in the Dirty Dirt Dirt – Starting Over, 10/28/04
Don’t Look a Gift Sock in the Mouth – Starting Over, 10/29/04
Pandora’s Box – Starting Over, 11/1/04
Here Kitty Kitty Kitty – Starting Over, 11/2/04
Stop That Or I’ll Go Blind – Starting Over, 11/3/04
Goo Goo, Ga Ga *Gag*-Starting Over, 11/4/04
The Envelope Please-Starting Over, 11/5/04
Judgment Day – Starting Over, 11/11/04
Alone But For a Blankey and Stuffed Animal – Starting Over, 11-18/19-04
Flippant Remarks and The New Woman – Starting Over
Fierce Conversations – Starting Over

America’s Next Top Model 3

Meet & Greet the Petites – Episode 1
Recap – Part 2 — Meet & Greet The Petites
Big lips and bigger dips…
Eating Disorders, Backstabbing and Beauty Shots
Roller Boogie
Big Girls Do Cry
Tarantulas, Attitudes and Toodles – ANTM Episode 7
Don’t Spit That Out!
Tokyo Ho’s – ANTM 3, Episode 10
You Don’t Belong Here – ANTM 3, Episode 11
Eva the Diva Brings It On Home, Y’all

The Swan 2

Swan Reunion: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…
Swan 2 – Episode 1: Which Scars Run Deeper?
The Roller Coaster to Recovery – The Swan 2, Episode 2
Swan 2 – Episode 3: Surrender To the “Swan”
Swan 2, Episode 4 – Sister Act
Swan 2 – Episode 5: Why do all the Swans look alike?
Captain Swan and Tooth Decay – Swan 2, Episode 6
Good News and Bad News – The Swan 2, Episode 7
Swan 2 – Episode 8: The Pageant Waits for You
Can I Have Some “Whine” With My Cheese – Swan, Season 2 Pageant

The Surreal Life 3

“Six Degrees of Irritation” – Surreal Life 3, Episode 1
“Date Night” – Surreal Life 3, Episode 2
“Crank It Up” – Surreal Life 3, Episode 3
“It’s a Freakin’ Winnebago!” – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 4
“Bridgette’s Just Loose!” – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 5
“I Feel Like A Prostitute” – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 6
“Ryan Is A Little Bitchy” – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 7
“Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghostbusters!” – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 8
“Meet William Drayton” – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 9
“So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Get Out!” – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 10
“I Just Want To Live My Life” – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 11

The Bachelor 6

“We Choose Country Mouse” – The Bachelor 6, Episode 1
“Brandy … She’s a Fine Girl” – The Bachelor 6, Episode 2
“Surprise? … What Surprise?” – The Bachelor 6, Episode 3
“I Was Clocked By The Mute!” – The Bachelor 6, Episode 4
“Lost!” – The Bachelor 6, Episode 5
“The Other Woman” – The Bachelor 6, Episode 6
“With Friends Like This …” – The Bachelor 6, Episode 7
“The Women Tell All” – The Bachelor 6, Episode 8
Alma Gemela – The Bachelor 6, Episode 9 – The Finale
“There’s Something About Mary” – The Bachelor 6, After The Final Rose

I’m Famous and Frightened

Ghost Show Returns
First Night
Second Night
The Final Night

The X-Factor

Can Simon Cowell Find The X-Factor In The UK?
Double Trouble – The X-Factor, September 4th
Could Cowell’s X-Factor Be The End Of “Idol” ? – The X-Factor, September 11th
The One Where The Judge Showed Up Late – The X-Factor, September 18th
The End Of The Road – The X-Factor, October 2nd
Boot Camp – The X-Factor, October 9th
At The Judges Homes – The X-Factor, 16th October
The First Live Show – The X-Factor, 23rd October
Tabby Goes Home – The X Factor, Semi Final

Last Comic Standing 3

Best of the Best – LCS Season 3
LCS 3 – Results & Round Two
Last Comic Standing 3 — Shall They Stay or Shall They Go?, Episode 3
Another Two Bite The Dust – Last Comic Standing 3, Episode 4
Who’s funnier — Louie Anderson or Carrot Top?
LCS 3 – Roast Anyone?
LCS 3 – A Fantastic Finale
Finale Faux Pas
Low-Down on LCS 3 – Finale
Last Comic Standing – The Joke’s On Us

The $25 Million Dollar Hoax

Liar Liar, Fancy Pants on Fire – $25 Million Dollar Hoax, Episode 1
Oops, I Blew All My Cash – The $25 Million Dollar Hoax, Episode 2
Guises, Prizes, and Surprises – The $25 Million Dollar Hoax, Finale

The Benefactor

Jenga Anyone? – The Benefactor, Episode 1
Do Not Waste My Time – The Benefactor, Episode 2
No Balls No Babies – The Benefactor, Episode 3
Basketball, Bribes and Bimbos – The Benefactor, Episode 4
Random Acts of Kindness – The Benefactor, Episode 5
Comedy of Errors – The Benefactor, Season Finale

Dog the Bounty Hunter

Meet the Chapmans – Episode 1
Daddy’s Not-So Little Boy — Dog the Bounty Hunter, Episode 2
Apprehension “Olympics” — Dog the Bounty Hunter, Episode 3
And your Dog-gy Dresses You Funny – Dog the Bounty Hunter, Episode 4
Hunting for Lupulele – Dog the Bounty Hunter, Episode 5
Girls are Cool & Dog’s Drool! – Dog the Bounty Hunter, Episode 6
Hey Lilo, Where’s Stitch? – Dog the Bounty Hunter, Episode 7

The Amazing Race 5

From Snow to Sand – The Amazing Race 5, Episode 5
Begs and Legs – The Amazing Race 5, Episode 6
Meet the Wimpeater – The Amazing Race 5, Episode 7
Colin or KY – The Amazing Race 5, Episode 8
We Will Facilitate That FOR Him – The Amazing Race 5, Episode 9
To the EXTREME – Amazing Race 5, Episode 10
“My Ox Is Broken!” – The Amazing Race 5, Episode 11
The Million-Dollar Mistake – The Amazing Race 5, Season Finale

Big Brother 5

Accusations and Meltdowns – Big Brother 5, July 27
Endurance HOH Competition and Nominations for July 31
“I Love Myself Sometimes!” Big Brother 5, August 3rd
Big Brother 5: Four Horsemen No More! – August 5
Mind Games – Big Brother, August 10th
‘He Lies, He Cheats, He Pees on Stuff” – Big Brother 5, August 12th
“I Could Smell The Power Trip A-Brewing” – Big Brother, August 14th
“Wonder Twin Powers. . . Nauseate!” Big Brother 5, August 17th
Pinky Swears, Karma, and a Mental Coin Toss – Big Brother 5, August 19th
This One’s for Will – Big Brother 5, August 21st
Every Show Needs a Sexy Cowboy – Big Brother 5, August 24th
“The Young and the Hopeless” – Big Brother 5, August 26th
Project DNA … A Failure – Big Brother 5, August 31st
“She Blinded Me With Science” Big Brother 5, September 2nd
The Hyper-Speed Eviction – Big Brother 5 Live Feeds, September 3rd
“All Crazy People Up In There!” – Big Brother, Saturday, Sept. 4
They’ve Got a Plan! – Big Brother 5, September 7th
Even Marvin Wasn’t Backdoored! – Big Brother 5, September 9th
It’s the Final Four! – Big Brother, Sept. 11
And Then There Were Three – Big Brother 5, September 14th
Someone’s Goin’ Down! – Big Brother 5, September 17th
Technically, He Won by One Vote – Big Brother 5, Season Finale

For Love or Money 4

The Inevitable Check Swap – For Love or Money 4, Episode 3
Bowling For Kisses – For Love or Money 4, Episode 4
For Love or Money 4 – How Will It End?
We’ll Always Have the Hut – For Love or Money 4, Finale

Last Comic Standing, Season 2

Last Comic Standing – Episode 3
“Last Comic Standing’s Little Controversies” — Episode 4
“Who’s Movin’ Out”: Last Comic Standing – Episode 5
Tour Guides and Todd’s Surprise — Last Comic Standing: Episode 6
Last Comic Standing — The Alliance: Episode 7
“Another One Bites the Dust” on Last Comic Standing: Episode 8
Last Comic Standing — The Final Five: Episode 9
Last Comic Standing – Wildcard Show
LCS – Wild Card Winner Announced
Last Comic Standing – Final Six Bring It
Last Comic Standing – The Final Finalists are Chosen
Last Comic Standing – Grand Finales, C’mon John Heffron
John Heffron is the Last Comic Standing

Next Action Star

Disasters and Disses: Next Action Star – Episode 3
Save the Drama, Latina Mama: Next Action Star Update
Explosives – of a different sort on Next Action Star
Next Action Star: Jared’s Song
The Finale Is Coming, The Finale is Coming
Next Action Star — Winners Announced
Bet Your Life – Don’t

The Assistant

Assistant – Episode One
Assistant – Episode Two
Assistant – Episode Three
Andy Gets Sick – The Assistant, Episode 4
Assistant – Roughing & Bluffing It, Episode 5
Spa Day – Clip Away!, The Assistant, Episode 6
Yet Another Twist on the Assistant – Episode 7
Assistant Finale – Finally

The Simple Life 2

No Bull About It – The Simple Life 2, Episode 1
Mermaids R Us – The Simple Life 2 – Episode 2
The Girls Get Shy Around Naked People? – The Simple Life 2 – Episode 3
Home of Britney Spears! The Simple Life 2 – Episode 5
Farm Help Needed – Call Paris and Nicole – The Simple Life 2 – Episode 6
The Simple Life 2, Episode 8 – Desperately Seeking Spicewood…
“Bad Girls, Bad Girls…” – The Simple Life 2, Episode 9
Country Roads, Take Me Home – The Simple Life 2, Season Finale

Interview with Brennan Swain of The Amazing Race

by Brian [img align=right]http://www.realityshack.com/uploads/savt415894135c9a8.jpg[/img]

Hey Brennan, thanks for taking the time to do this interview with us.

As the original Amazing Race winners, you essentially joined the hall of fame reserved for those people like Richard Hatch. What did you think you were getting yourselves into when you applied?

[b]We really didn’t know what it was gonna be like. All we knew is we were traveling around the world. I honestly thought it was gonna be a little more extreme (kind or eco-challengeish). We literally learned the rules and format 2 days before leaving.[/b]

How did you prepare for the race? And how much did it help you?

[b]We didn’t have much to prepare. We hit the gym a little harder than normal. I actually ran on the treadmill in my hiking boots. We studied some maps and I learned a few words in French. But, that was about it.[/b]

How has life been like after seeing yourselves on the Amazing Race, and receiving that million dollar cheque? Are you still recognized on the streets?

[b]Life has been great. The first year was a whirlwind. We got a chance to travel a lot and meet a lot of great people. I’m recognized now and then still. [/b]

Which team’s elimination (if any) shocked you the most?

[b]Dave and Margaretta’s elimination. They were very travel savvy. Dave had been a fighter pilot who had flown all over the world, so we expected them to make it further than leg 4.[/b]

Was there any time during the race where you considered quitting?

[b]I never considered quitting, but there were certainly times where I thought “I just want to go home.” Particulary in India on leg 7 when I thought we were going to be eliminated.[/b]

Coming to the pit stops, were there any times during the race in which you just knew you had been eliminated and expected Phil to tell you that you had been eliminated from the race?

[b]As I said above, we thought we were eliminated in leg 7. We had been lost for about 45 minutes in Delhi and then had to made a 4 hour drive to Agra. In other legs, if you were lost for 45 minutes near the end of a leg it meant elimination. We couldn’t believe it when we were actually 3rd out of 6.[/b]

How often would you guys get lost and what would you do about it?

[b]We didn’t get lost that often, but when we did we immediately started asking the locals. Asking directions is key in the Race.[/b]

We saw several alliances form during the show. Do you think alliances are important in a game like T.A.R.?

[b]Alliances are hard to keep, but for the short term they can help. 4 or 6 heads can be better than 2. It gives you peace of mind to help another team, and to get help from them. It’s very difficult to keep them at the airports though because you have to book so many seats.[/b]

As fans of the show, we aren’t shown much of what happens during the 12-hour rest periods. Other than obviously resting, what do you do?

[b]Strategize, eat, talk to other teams and do interviews.[/b]

How has your relationships with the contestants developed since the show? Are you still in contact with very many contestants?

[b]Besides the obvious, Rob, I’m still very close to Kevin. He and I talk every couple days. He’ll definitely be a lifelong friend. I also talk to Emily every few weeks. Beyond the two of them I’m still in touch loosely with almost everyone from the show. We try to get together for premieres and finales of new seasons. I saw Kevin, Drew, Lenny, Pat, Brenda and Team Guido at the AR5 finale. I’ve also become friends with people from other seasons. Alex from AR2 and I went on a surfing trip to Panama earlier this year.[/b]

What did your friends and family think of you and Rob after seeing you on the race, do you think you were well portrayed?

[b]Our friends and family loved watching! It was exciting for me to see them get so amped about the show. I think we were portrayed fairly accurately. I’m glad that we were shown as guys that had fun and played with integrity. [/b]

Did you get much time to relax on the race, and take in and enjoy the scenery? If so, what were your favourite places, people, and activities along the race?

[b]We didn’t get much time to relax. There were a couple of pit stops that were longer than 12 hours, so we were able to get some sleep and chat with other teams. There was an extended stop in India where we stayed at a palace. We had so much fun hanging out with the other teams there. [/b]

Were there any points on the race that just overwhelmed you, and any moments that you just felt like the two of you were not going to win?

[b]There was one night in India at the rat temple where I was very down. That was definitely the lowest point of the Race. We were tired, hungry, had just had a 12 hour train ride and were being hassled by the locals while we waited for the temple to open. It got a little tense.[/b]

Now, I know you mentioned you were going to the Amazing Race finale last Monday, so I assume you’ve been keeping up with the contestants.

[b]I’ve definitely kept up with this seasons contestants.[/b]

Did you have any favourites to win the race? Are you very impressed by this seasons cast?

[b]My favorites to win were Chip and Kim, so I was happy they took home the win. I had a chance to watch a couple of episodes with them, they’re the best! This season’s cast in general was very impressive.[/b]

Were you particularly surprised by the results, and even personalities that you discovered at the reunion show?

[b]I was surprised to see Chip and Kim win. Colin and Christie dominated so much that I thought they’d win. But, I wasn’t surprised by people’s personalities. Everyone is always gracious and fun to meet.[/b]

How did the recent season compare to your own?

[b]I thought this season was very similar to ours. I thought this season had the most interesting route since ours. Of course, nothing will ever top season 1![/b]

If given the chance, would you do it again? And if so what (if anything) would you do differently?

[b]I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Bring on Amazing Race: All Stars. About the only thing I’d do differently is take the time to enjoy some of the locations a bit more.[/b]

Thank you Brennan for talking with us!

If you have any comments about this interview, or are an Amazing Race contestant youself, you can contact me at brian@realityshack.com.

It's a Freakin' Winnebago! – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 4

by LauraBelle

In The Surreal Life 2, Tammy Faye Messner was exposed as being a sweet, motherly down-to-earth woman; none of those things being expected from her previous persona of overly done-up TV evangelist. By the end of The Surreal Life 2, we had discovered her to be a great person. Her housemates did as well when they watched her promote her book, and talked about being a survivor. Perhaps The Surreal Life 3 will do the same for Charo and Dave Coulier, as I am beginning to see them completely differently now than when I watched them on Love Boat and Full House.

As the show opens, we find Flavor Flav and Bridgette Nielsen discussing a stint Flavor Flav has done in jail. She wrongfully assumes his conviction was because of drugs. When he tells her no, she asks what could be the reason for the jail time, “murder or something?” He replies he had a bunch of tickets from having over sixty-seven driving suspensions. You would think a person would learn after having ten to twenty, but not Flavor Flav.

Charo brings in the Surreal Times, and it reveals that night Charo will be performing in Las Vegas, and the rest of the housemates will be there to watch her show. She is initially upset at the paper referring to her as “world-renowned,” as she thought it was something negative. Charo will leave first to get everything set up for her show, and the others will follow, driving themselves, and all will be spending the night. Road trip!

Charo is excited her new friends will see her perform, they don’t know how serious she can be when she performs on stage. You mean the Love Boat wasn’t serious? She drags a gigantic suitcase out, and proclaims, “I pack so many things!”

Flavor Flav reports that he wants to drive, and Bridgette’s eyes about pop out of her head, remembering his sixty-seven driving suspensions. When they walk outside to embark on their road trip, the five remaining housemates find a “freaking Winnebago!” Dave will drive the first hour, and the viking hat-wearing Flavor Flav the second. I am thinking I would run myself off the road if I looked in the RV traveling in the lane next to me, and saw Dave Coulier, Flavor Flav, Jordan Knight, Bridgette Nielsen, and Ryan Starr.

Bridgette and Jordan sleep, to no one’s surprise, while Dave is driving, and Flavor Flav announces he likes driving, as he used to be a school bus driver. Then then adds he learned to drive while stealing cars. I am wondering if that’s when he received his sixty-seven driving suspensions, and consequently paid a debt to society. As Dave’s driving hour nears an end, he is making no effort to relinquish the controls to Flavor Flav, who decides to not say anything out of respect but considers Dave to be a “driving hog.”

As the Winnebago arrives at their hotel in Las Vegas, they find it is booked up, and only one High Roller suite remains. They will need to have a gambling contest, girls vs. guys, for squatters’ rights. Each team will be given money to gamble with for one hour. Whoever has more at the end of the hour will sleep in the suite; the other team will spend the night in the Winnebago.

Bridgette and Ryan’s strategy is to let the people that look like they must be high rollers place the bets for them, thinking that’s their best chance. The men split their money among them, and Flav Flav loses his right away at the roulette table. When the hour is up and the money is counted, $52 remains for the women, and $385 for the men. Ryan and Bridgette will spend their evening in the Winnebago.

Wanting more comforts than the RV will provide, Ryan makes the hotel management an offer. She will sing and Bridgette will dance, if they are given a room for free. Management decide to take her up on it. If the management had ever seen Bridgette dance, they wouldn’t decide this way.

The men are in the one bedroom High Rollers suite trying to decide on sleeping arrangements. Dave decides immediately it will be walk-in closet time for him again. Not having boxes to stack up to keep others out has Jordan freaked. Dave asks Flavor Flav if he wants anything from Room Service, and Flavor Flavor orders “a bowl of women with ketchup.” I suppose this is supposed to be funny, but I don’t get it. Sounds like something my eleven-year-old son and his friends with their burgeoning hormones might say. Fittingly, the men begin doing Three Stooges jokes. Put any three men in a room and …

Meanwhile, Ryan is too busy gambling to think about performing later for her room and board. She isn’t even worried about missing Charo’s performance, as she’s having too much of a good time. The Three Stooges make it to Charo’s show, but Bridgette and Ryan are missing. Ryan is still gambling, and Bridgette is just too busy getting ready to notice the time. While Charo notices their absence and is upset, Dave is embarrassed and feels it is quite disrespectful.

Once they arrive, everyone is in awe during the show. Flavor Flav thinks “she’s the bomb.” Dave says the show is outstanding, and that Charo is a “virtuoso on guitar.” Jordan think her timing is “immaculate,” and Ryan is “blown away,” adding it may sound crazy, but she thought she might actually start crying. I think even Simon Cowell would have been in awe. Bridgette is just in awe of one of Charo’s backup singers, thinking he is hot. I think Love Boat possibly cheated Charo out of some credit she rightfully deserved. It makes me wonder why she waited thirty years to begin to repair her image, as she says performing is her life.

Bridgette uses the opportunity to ask after the show to be introduced to the backup singer, and finds his name to be Enrique. He and Bridgette are soon making out in the casino. Flavor Flav is shocked at her behavior, and the others are trying to decide on sleeping arrangements between the two rooms and the RV. Jordan finally decides he will only get the solitude he needs in the RV. Go ahead, Jordan, but you won’t be getting Room Service to bring you a bowl of women with ketchup in there, and besides you’re splitting up the Three Stooges.

Bridgette sneaks out to try to have a rendezvous with Enrique without the cameras. The crew bust them together behind a truck. Flavor Flav feels bad, but knows he’ll have a better day tomorrow as he gets to drive home. It remains to be seen whether Dave and Bridgette will let him, and whether Ryan will get in trouble for backing out on her deal.

Bridgette and Ryan have certainly shown their true colors, and Flavor Flav and Jordan have only continued to tow the line. But Dave and Charo continue to impress. How different would their careers have been without Full House and Love Boat? Perhaps they never would have found stardom at all; perhaps they would be more respected.

I welcome all questions and comments at LB53064@yahoo.com

Everything Reality TV