The Women Tell All – The Bachelor 6, Episode 8

by LauraBelle

It would have been hard to be any of the people present for tonight’s “The Bachelor: The Women Tell All,” save for the audience and host Chris Harrison. It would be hard to be Byron in the presence of twenty-four of his “exes.” It would be hard to be the twenty-four women facing the man that turned them away. They muddled through for the sake of the show (and their contracts), but the uncomfortableness was evident.

The first woman to take the hot seat is Krysta. As Chris explains she loved to gossip, and that this would be the first time many of the women had seen this, he shows a montage of Krysta gossiping about nearly everyone and many of her bitchy sound bytes. At the end, a clip is shown of Krysta, telling Byron, “Honestly, I get along with everybody!”

Chris asks if she feels bad, and Krysta says it may sound horrible, but she said she would be honest. She had fun and enjoyed herself. I have to admit, I respect her immensely for this, standing up for her behavior. Looking at a clip of Krysta dressed up in black leather, Cindy says it’s like Pamela Anderson gone bad. She also manages to throw in a zinger, and says she thinks Krysta could use a little silicone. This is in reference to a quote of Krysta’s from her video clips where she mentions the women, Cindy among them, that were … silicone-enhanced. Krysta is also told if she likes nice things that much, to get a good job and buy them herself, instead of looking for a man with money. Krysta retorts that she does have a good job. Amy tells Krysta she was hurt, as she had defended Krysta to the others.

Chris goes on to show that Krysta wasn’t the only one gossiping, as clips are shown with all the women doing their share. After Cheresse is shown being talked about measuring her butt with a measuring tape every day, she says she didn’t do it EVERY day, but admits to doing it while in the house. Okay, I would do that while I was in the bathroom so that no one else would know I did that. Why would you allow yourself to be seen by others like that, that self-absorbed?

About the daily mood in the house, living with all the other women, Cindy says it reminded her of high school, like in the locker room, without a man around. She gets many laughs as she says Cheresse was looking good to her at that point. Heather, who had joined the show show halfway through with Mary, says it was tough, but they knew they wouldn’t be enjoying a welcoming committee.

Jayne is next to take the hot seat. Among the clips shown of her, is Byron and Jay watching the women on their first day in the house, and Byron says that Jayne is beautiful and his favorite. After the clips, Chris tells Jane that she was clearly the frontrunner, and that Byron had even said he was falling in love with her. Jayne says she didn’t realize he felt like that. I have to say I sit in Jayne’s camp with this one. I have never seen a clear frontrunner the whole duration. Byron kept me guessing. In fact, I can see next week’s finale going either way.

He had to do it – it wouldn’t be right for him not to. Chris shows clips of Jayne freaking out the night of the disastrous slumber party. Krysta is seen talking about her, saying, “Stay in your shell; it’s actually better.” After, they move on to the night that really killed any remaining chances Jayne had with Byron – when she freaked out and ran away, but really spent the time shacked up with Byron, begging him to let her spend the night. Oh, how I wish they asked the other women how they felt now that they knew where Jayne was that whole time they were searching the grounds for her. Instead, they just rehash the fight between Jayne and Cindy. The clips go on to show Byron saying the reason he was eliminating Jayne was he felt he was watching her unravel by the second. After she was cut, Jayne is shown saying she felt Byron had led her on, and that he had lied to her about his feelings.

Chris turns to Cheresse and explains everyone thought she was a frontrunner as well, and wants to know what happened. Obviously still bitter, she says apparently if you won’t utilize the fantasy suite, you won’t go on further. She defiantly says Byron didn’t get to know the real her. I have to agree with her; the overall feeling after her departure was “No nookie – no rose.”

Cindy joins Chris in the hot seat, and clips are shown of Cindy’s dates going from all good to seemingly all bad. Byron is quoted as a saying the hardest thing he has had to do during the duration of the show is send Cindy home. Chris asks her why she was out of things to say immediately after she was eliminated, and she replies it seemed like a bad dream, and that she was in shock. Byron had seemed to reciprocate her feelings, but now she has begun to feel Jayne is right, that Byron perhaps led them on.

Chris tells the audience that a few days after she was cut, Cindy called the show needing to unload her feelings some. The cameras had her sitting in a chair explaining her shock and hurt. This seems more aimed at exploiting her than helping her. She says on this tape that she felt it was a bad dream, and that she was going to find herself back in the limo going back to see Byron where he would say it was all a bad joke, but this hotel room is not a limo, and she isn’t waking up. She believes him to be her soulmate, and is afraid there won’t be any others. Cindy was never a favorite of mine, but her pain is very difficult to sit through.

Byron is introduced and takes a seat next to Cindy, after the two of them spend some obviously uncomfortable moments not knowing whether to kiss, hug or shake hands when greeting each other. Watching that tape, Byron feels horrible, and says it was gut-wrenching and overwhelming. No kidding.

Cindy and Byron address each other, exchanging pleasantries and telling each other they look great, and Cindy lets loose with a bombshell asking Byron if he wants to make out. Byron tells her his reason for letting her go was because she had told him not to give her a rose if he wasn’t sure she would be the last one standing. He says his relationship with her, along with Mary and Tanya, was growing, and he couldn’t be positive of her being number one. He spared her feelings and sent her home, feeling it would be better than doing that at the final rose. This all winds up great with Cindy saying, “You missed it! You missed out on a great girl!” Good for her! Byron says she will be a gift in anybody’s life. She says she is now more comfortable with it all, just having him explain it all to her. All’s well that ends well, I guess.

Chris lets Cindy go, and all the attention now turns to Byron. Pointing out he was the first bachelor to live amongst the women, he shows clips of Byron’s time in the house. Cheresse asks him to admit not sharing the fantasy suite was a big reason she was sent home. He says that it was the time spent that they missed out on, and he had told her that that night, after she had made her decision. They needed those five to seven hours alone to further develop their relationship, sit by the fire, chat, etc., the same as his relationships with Cindy, Mary and Tanya needed.

Jayne thanks Byron for being nice to her and comforting her the night of the slumber party. Krysta says she felt he never would have followed her like he did Jayne. Byron says she is right, and that he would not have for fear of his life. She says she never met a man so afraid of her before, and he says they were never locked in a house with you. Cheresse wants him to know he was right; they had no chemistry. Cindy has one more question – why did he freak out about his ex in the limo? He says it was hard living like that – no TV, not books – and when he saw himself going GI Byron, it was hard to watch.

Byron is excused, and the dejected bachelor, Jay, comes out. He says being amongst them again was surreal and thanks the women that voted for him. The competitor side of him had come out, and it was tough leaving. When asked if he is dating anyone, Jay says he’s having a blast. He tells Chris once all the other women out there realize he is open to being in a relationship and is looking to be married, he gets a lot of attention. I’ll bet. Maybe Andrea can find use for her eight yards of satin yet. He admits to being particularly attracted those few days to Natalie, Kelly and Leina.

We are treated to a preview of the finale. Mary and Tanya will meet up at the mansion with Byron and everyone’s parents, but Mary is still unsure if she’ll subject her parents to possibly being hurt again. After, they go to Byron’s hometown to meet his friends. We are told it will be the most romantic Bachelor proposal ever. After, there will be a special “After The Final Rose” show. It promises to be very exciting.

It seemed by the end of the show that everyone was feeling better, but it would still be hard to be in any of their places. Especially those that had a nasty side of them come out that they hadn’t been expecting. I missed seeing Andrea talking; I would have loved to hear her speak of her time there. Perhaps I’ll never find out what happens to the silk.

I welcome questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com

Oh No I'm Bleeding! – Rebel Billionaire, Episode 2

[i]by atarus[/i]

We start off this week with Branson telling the teams that they are going to Africa. For this mission, the teams get to choose the leader for their team…from the other team. The women’s team chooses Gabriel as their leader, and the men choose Nicole. The plane lands, and the teams find out they are staying at a lodge in Zimbabwe. Steve is confident that the guys will be successful and beat the women, while Gabriel brings the women together and tells them that there won’t be any petty talk between the group, they are going to be a team this round.

Sir Richard brings the teams to their challenge. They are overlooking a cliff that overlooks the Zambezi River. The teams have to appoint a catcher, and the person that is the catcher is suspended over the river. The other five team members have to jump out into the arms of the catcher. If they’re caught, the team gets a point. If they aren’t caught, they fall into a long arcing swing over the Zambezi. Scaaaaary stuff. Whichever team gets the most points wins the challenge, and the losing leader has to compete against someone in another challenge. The men choose Jermaine as their catcher, and the women choose (surprise!) Gabriel.

Nicole is the first jumper for the men’s team. She counts down from five, four, three, two, one, commercial break. *taps foot, looks at watch* And we’re back, aaaand Nicole misses and we are treated to her fallllllllling. Jermaine says she needed more loft, and Nicole tells the guys the same thing when she returns from her swing. The first woman jumper is Heather, and Gabriel misses her and she takes her own swing. Right now it’s 0-0.

Jermaine catches the next guy jumper, so the guys are up 1-0. The jumper for the girls is Sara. Yes, that’s right, the same Sara that’s afraid of heights. So she shies away from jumping at first, because, well, she’s scared to death (poor Sara…there’s been a challenge with heights every episode so far) but eventually she jumps…..and Gabriel catches her! And Gabriel gets a big smooch from Sara for not letting her plummet to her doom.

The catchers are now moved back a foot. The next two jumpers both make it, so we’re tied at 2-2. Then Shawn jumps and misses and takes a long fall. Candida jumps and misses too, and she hurts her arm on the way down. An ambulance is called to patch up her arm, and there are a few shots of her screaming in agony ( *snort* ). It’s down to Steve and Erica. Steve does his yelling and screaming and jumping up and down before launching himself into space and gets caught by Jermaine. So now the pressure is on Erica….who squarely jumps into Gabriel’s waiting arms. So the teams tied 3-3, so now we’re going to a tiebreaker.

Steve and Erica have to do a standing long jump. Whoever gets the shortest jump jumps over the abyss first. If they miss, game over for their team, if they make it, the other jumper has to jump, and if they miss game over, if they make it, game over for the other team. Erica beats out Steve by a half-foot, so it’s up to Crazy Steve. He’s excited, he’s ambitious, and he makes the jump. The men’s team goes wild! It’s once again on Erica’s shoulders to make the jump. She’s about to jump, she’s about to jump, she jumps and COMMERICAL BREAK.

Gotta love Fox and their suspense.

We’re back, AND SHE MAKES THE JUMP. Wow, I was just on the edge of my seat for the four minutes of commercial. Dang, yo. So the men’s team has lost. But before Nicole has to pick somebody, Branson says that he promised that anything they’d do he’d do. So Gabriel volunteers to catch Branson in his own jump. Sir Richard states that he has an irrational fear of bungee-jumping, so this particular task will be hard for him. Branson fakes Gabriel out about twelve times, saying he’ll jump and then not jumping. “My legs have gone jelly!” the billionaire exclaims. Finally, though, Sir Richard Branson takes the mighty leap, and….Gabriel drops him, and we are treated to the billionaire swinging out over the Zambezi River. You have to wonder if maybe Sir Richard tried to miss on purpose, just to make good TV and so he could swing. One of the men in a voice-over says “I felt bad for Gabe, he let a billion dollars slip through his hands.”

Branson says that it’s the most beautiful fall and dive that he’s ever had. He comes back up, and one of the women notice that Branson is bleeding, to which he responds “Oh no, I’m bleeding!” Go Sir Richard, you are my hero.

Now it’s time for Nicole to choose who she’s up against. She asks the team who they think she should choose. Jermaine says he can’t choose since he saw every one try to make the jump. The other four are in agreement though, that Shawn should do it, including Shawn himself, because he missed the jump. It’s obvious that Nicole will choose Shawn, as she said that they were a team and it should be a team decision, and since the team says Shawn, she chooses Sam! DUH! Why didn’t I see the logic in that.

Shawn says that Nicole has just lost all the credibility she could have had with the guys. One of the guys says that Nicole probably sensed that Sir Richard was taking a liking to Shawn and he’d probably be tough to go up against. Sam states that “Nicole, you no longer have a chance to win this game, I’m not ready to go home right now.”

Sam and Nicole show up and realize that Sir Richard wants them to go over the Victorian Falls in a barrel. Sam and Nicole are absolutely flabbergasted. One of the guys starts going over safety instructions with the two, saying that this particular barrel has never been tested before, and that it could be unsafe, you could break a few bones, and then he hands them a paper. Nicole starts asking all sorts of questions about the barrel and the drop down, and she starts getting worried. Finally, she says she won’t do it. But Sam says “you only get one life to live, right Richard?” and he and Branson get in the capsule with their safety helmets on.

Before they close the door, the safety supervisor says that if at any time Sam changes his mind prior to the drop, to press the big red button in the middle and they’ll bring the barrel back to the ground. So they’re up, the barrel hoisted up by the crane, and Sir Richard keeps asking Sam, you sure you want to do this? And Sam says yes, yes, yes, let’s do this. So finally, Branson says “3…2…..1….”

….and the barrel doesn’t drop. Branson grabs Sam and says “you’re a brave man, but this is about intelligent risk-taking.” Sam looks confused. He asks if they were ever going to actually drop the barrel, and Branson says no. If they had gone over the falls, they would have both been very dead. On the ground, Branson tells Sam and Nicole that Sam was near death, and that this was a very cruel test. He takes them to a viewpoint over the falls and says that “350 feet is still 350 feet.” And going on the falls would have been instant death.

Back at the lodge, Nicole goes on and on about how she was asking questions and decided not to go over the falls, all in front of Sam. The men think that it’s incredibly rude for Nicole to gloat in front of Sam like that, when it’s obvious Sam isn’t feeling too hot. Branson says that between Sam’s poor performance in the challenge and Nicole’s boorish behavior at dinner, it will be a hard choice on who to eliminate.

It’s time for the tarmac elimination. Branson tells Sam that he jumped into the challenge without ever questioning him, and that they would have both died. Nicole, on the other hand, while she questioned the safety, as leader should have stopped Sam from going. He hands them both the tickets….

…..and on board….Nicole shows up. Sam has been eliminated. Nicole goes on and on about how she’s glad to be here, and she blabs on and on, and everyone on the plane looks like they’re about to shoot themselves. Steve says that Nicole is the “most smug, oblivious person he’s ever met” and she has no idea how much everyone else hates her. Sam, in his final words, says that he thanks Sir Richard for the great opportunity, and he’s going to go out and do something in his life with this.

Next episode, they’re still in Africa, and they’re going on a safari with big animals, and Jermaine gets scared.

My e-mail is atarus33@yahoo.com. I’m thinking Steve, Shawn, or Sara is going to take this game home.

Don't Spit That Out!

by Panndyra

Tonight’s ANTM was very, very interesting. Let me start by saying I miss Toccara and her smile. 😥

Okay. I’m back. The girls have a special challenge. They’re gonna ‘die.’ Norelle was like, “I don’t know what to expect.”

Too bad it wasn’t what I’d hoped it would be, but that would make America’s Next Top Model a very different kind of show, wouldn’t it?

The ladies had to pretend they were dead. They had a scene with Taye “He’s soooooooooooo fine” Diggs, the star of UPN’s Kevin Hill, which conveniently comes on after ANTM. (I bet Toccara would’ve loved to have gotten up close and personal with the man who helped Stella get her groove back…mmmm, mmm. The man is fine. I’ll stop drooling now. :heart: :heart: :heart: )

I don’t know who the hell wrote the scene, but they need to be shot. The girls did a dry run so they didn’t get to memorize this schmaltzy B.S. (that stands for bull s**t, y’all!)

The medical terms were tough for me (and I have a mensa-level IQ, okay!)

Eva didn’t even pretend. She was like, “I’ve got lots of diseases…”
:clap:

Amanda made the ultimate mistake of dying twice. 😆

Before announcing the winner, the acting coach forgot Nicole. That doesn’t bode well and Nicole knew it. She’s been under fire for not having enough of a personality.

The winner was Miss Yaya “I think I’m all that and a bag of chips” Da Costa Johnson.

That’s 4 in a row. I know it’s hard not to get cocky after trouncing the competition like that, but her ‘tude is just too too much. I honestly think that she feels like she’s superior to these girls. (I don’t think the editing is that creative!)

Her prize – she gets to fly luxury (1st) class to Tokyo, Japan where the girls are heading next. She takes Miss Amanda with her.

On the way to the airport, you see Ann, Eva and Norelle. They sort of have a models ‘alliance.’ Think Christy Turlington, Linda Evangelista and Naomi Campbell, but with less grace, intelligence and star power. Sorry, y’all. Now, those were supermodel divas with an attitude. Maybe someday!

I wouldn’t cap on ’em for their lack of intelligence except for the fact that NORELLE did know whether to call the people in Tokyo – Japanese or Tokyoenses.

I can’t make this crap up.

Once in Tokyo, they meet their ‘tour guide.’ They then are shuffled off to their hotel. They’re amazed at their ‘beds’. It looks like a kennel. They have compartments for beds and a communal bathroom.

Then, it’s off to their photo shoot. This time they’re doing a commercial in Japanese for Campbell’s Selects Soup.

Norelle says, “I can’t even speak English, now they want me to talk Japanese.” 😆

Eva messed up big time and was afraid she was going home. She told Ann, “I want Norelle to go home.” That upset Ann as she’s close to Norelle now too and she gets a little upset that maybe Eva’s not a loyal friend.

Hmmm! Ann, do you remember that this is a competition and, at some point, there’ll only be ONE of you left? Ain’t no loyalty in a competition, baby.

Ann did well. Yaya did okay but she talked japanese sooooooooooo slowly. Amanda, on the other hand, went too fast.

Norelle, well, she looked cute. Nicole —um, we’ll get to that later.

Cut to the judging. First, they were going to have a test. The girls had to eat ANTM — umeboshi (sour, pickled plum). They had to do a comercial for it and sell the product.

None of them liked it. Some were able to play it off better than others. And then, there was YAYA. In front of the Japanese director, who was also a guest judge, and his interpreter, not to mention the rest of the panel, she said, “I can’t eat this”. Then, she spit it out in front of them.

Very rude. Very disrespectful. This is a woman who is proud of her own ethnic heritage and cultural diversity. She should’ve been more sensitive to the situation. It was very insulting to the judges, the panel and especially the Japanese director.

She’s been rude before (remember the argument with the stylist!).

I sort of hoped that she would go home. At least Tyra told her to buy some ‘humble pie’.

However, the judges decided to keep Yaya. Tyra almost forgot to give Nicole feedback. That reminded all the judges during their deliberation that Nicole is not memorable to them.

As Tyra said to Nicole, “you have to be memorable to be a top model.”

Poor Nicole. That’s very harsh criticism indeed. I believe that Nicole is a beautiful young woman who tried to hide her personality in the hopes that it would get her what she wanted. Nicole was the former punk rocker. Maybe she felt she needed to clean up to be a model.

If she takes anything away from the experience I hope it’s that she needs to show herself and be proud of who she is and what she stands for. Don’t hide, Nicole. I’m sure you’re memorable. People will notice.

–That’s it! If you want to comment on ANTM 3, my review or Yaya’s cultural insensitivy, email me at panndyra@realityshack.com. Peace!

captainD's Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 10

Oh, what a pity. Our own military man Sarge was voted out on Veterans Day. However, the show must go on, and if the two remaining guys don’t make their move fast, Twila will be the most masculine person left on the island. Or maybe one of our two token lesbians can compete for that title. If that doesn’t scare you into rooting for Chris and Chad then nothing will!

This week is being promoted as the week alliances are broken and the individual game reaches its peak. However, the reward challenge requires teamwork as 2 teams of 4 go head-to-head. As already shown in the previews, the winning team is Ami, Chad, Chris, and Eliza. The immunity challenge will include climbing up a pole much like Brady did in the first episode of the season. My pick for immunity is Julie. Tribal Council will be a toss-up between Ami and Chad. I expect Ami to have a “leg up” on Chad as the girls stay together one more week. The 2’nd member of the jury is CHAD.

Long Way From Brooklyn – The Amazing Race 6, Premiere

by LauraBelle

This is going to be the season of the sound bytes for Amazing Race. Normally there is one or two to spice up your recap, but tonight’s show was chockfull of them. It is going to be interesting. Not to mention the fact that there is not just one couple like Colin and Christie from last season, but three! That certainly spices up those sound bytes.

We start off the show waiting for the eleven teams to arrive in Chicago via speedboats across Lake Michigan. The teams consist of Kris/Jon – dating long distance, Lena/Kristy – Mormon sister models, Lori/Bolo – married professional wrestlers, Don/Mary Jean – married grandparents, Avi/Joe – best friends from New York, Hayden/Aaron – dating actors from Hollywood, Gus/Hera – an ex-CIA agent and his daughter, Jonathon/Victoria – married entrepreneurs, Freddie/Kendra – engaged models, Meredith/Maria – best friends and roommates, Adam/Rebecca – ex-lovers. These teams will race over forty thousand miles for the prize of one million dollars.

As the teams arrive onshore, host Phil Keoghan informs them there is an envelope placed on top of all their sets of luggage that contains their first clue and a small amount of cash for this leg of the race. When he gives the mark, they are off. I have always liked Phil. Mom, watching the show for the first time last summer, found him smarmy. I don’t see it; I like him.

As the teams open their clue, they find they need to run downtown and catch a train, called the Blue Line, to O’Hare airport. There they will catch one of three flights to Iceland. All flights are to leave at separate times and have different connecting cities – Baltimore, Boston and Minneapolis, but are scheduled to arrive in Iceland within five minutes of each other. At this point it is too hard to always place faces to names, but one woman is excited to go to Iceland as that’s where her favorite band is from, and another woman wonders if it is cold there.

The wrestlers are arguing as they are looking for the Blue Line. Lori and Bolo argue over where to find it. He believes they will enjoy an advantage as pain is not an issue for them because of their profession. This makes me wonder if they have ever seen the show, as enduring pain usually isn’t as big of a factor as being cunning, and keeping calm under stress. Engaged models Freddie and Kendra feel they will have an advantage since they are used to traveling. Victoria and Jonathon are also arguing as he is behind her telling her to stick with him. Immediately after his second line in the show, “I told you I knew where I was going,” I make the assumption he is an arrogant ass. I never change that assumption throughout the show.

The eleven teams end up catching two separate trains. On the first, Adam, sporting two tiny short ponytails springing from his head, is nicknamed Hellboy by the others. On the other train, Gus is attempting to create an alliance with those teams with him. He admits to being a control nut. Jonathon asks a person on the train with a cell phone to borrow it to call on the three fights. The others join him in this.

At O’Hare, Victoria and Jonathon are once again arguing, this time over whether they need to catch international or domestic since their ultimate destination is another country, but have a domestic connection. They toss the word “idiot” around. Jonathan, dressed in yellow, tells blue-dressed Bolo they are like superheroes dressed in these colors. What an odd thing to say to someone you are meeting for the first time, and also happens to be two times your size.

One of the three flights is on United, while the others are on American Airlines. While the teams wander around O’Hare, I am glad they won’t be utilizing the baggage area. Traveling and returning home to O’Hare last week, our whole flight’s luggage was lost for an hour and a half. Just tonight, after Amazing Race, I saw that a deer was seen wandering around baggage claim.

The teams on the Boston connecting flight have been delayed forty-five minutes due to bad weather. The teams are getting upset, and I realize they are getting a baptism by fire of what the traveling will be like during their duration in the show.

As the teams eventually land in Reykjavik, Iceland, they catch waiting marked cars, where they will drive one-hundred thirty miles to the Seljalandsfoss waterfall. I had to look online to get the correct spelling of this. All I kept thinking was when they were saying it was Sultenfuss after watching “My Girl” this weekend. Adam feels the navigating Rebecca has her “thumb up her ass” as she is looking at how beautiful the mist is above the land while they are driving.

Avi and Joe feel they will do well here, since they have opposite personalities and think and react differently. My friend and I have often thought of joining Amazing Race for exactly the same reason, so I am extra interested in how they do. Avi and Joe begin a singsong “New York Jews in Iceland.” Lena tells Kristy there is no way they can screw up; they would have to be idiots. Uh-oh, that’s not good; those words could come back to haunt her.

Pulling into town to get directions, Mary Jean and Don think everyone in town is ripped. Probably, what are are you going to do when it’s that cold? Adam is worried about his sunglasses, and Rebecca wants to know why he keeps worrying about those “stupid things.” He tells her to watch it or he will “put you in a bag and close the trunk.” Okie dokie.

Looking for the waterfall, Kristy and Lena wonder if what they are looking at is a waterfall. No, it’s just a mountain with a river of water running off it. They eventually decide it is a waterfall, but not the waterfall they need, and drive on. Having trouble finding it, they ask each other, “How are we so stupid?”

Not finding the waterfall quickly enough, all think they are behind. Eventually the teams of Avi and Joe, Gus and Hera, Haydenand Aaron, and Lori and Bolo all arrive at the waterfall around the same time. They run up, inside the falling water, to get the clue. They now need to travel to the largest glacier in Europe, Vatnajokull. As Adam and Rebecca, Kris and Jon, Freddy and Kendra, Lena and Kristy and Jonathon and Victoria arrive at the waterfall, Kris wants to jump in it.

Gus feels the other teams are driving way too fast and taking too many chances. He won’t let Hera drive like them. Don and Mary Jean arrive at the waterfall and decide to walk instead of run, as they are worried about spraining their ankles. Thinking like that will guarantee them nothing better than tenth place. Meredith and Maria run into Adam and Rebecca and are disconcerted to find that Adam and Rebecca have already been to the waterfall and moved on, while Meredith and Maria haven’t found it yet! Adam tells them it was about an hour and a half back. Jonathon tells Victoria he thinks she’s so wrong, and she needs to find her boundaries. It also sounded like he was muttering something about divorce.

Arriving at the glacier, the teams need to sign up for a shuttle to take them to the edge of the glacier and their next clue. There are four different shuttles scheduled, and the best slots in the first and second shuttles fill up quickly. Once off the shuttle, they find another clue box, which tells them to hop on the waiting snowmobiles, and travel two-and-a-half miles to a campsite where they will spend the evening. Each tent has one of four different times on it – 10:00 AM, 10:30 AM, 11:00 AM, and 11:30 AM. The tent with the time will be their ticket on a leaving shuttle the next morning.

Lena admits she doesn’t like roughing it. Looking at their teammate swallowed up in a blue parka, one racer says, “Dude, you look like a smurf!” Rebecca says Adam has never been out of his element like this, as he lives at home still. Ari and Joe decide they are a long way from Brooklyn. Bolo and Lori spend the time wrestling in the snow. Meredith and Maria, so far behind, eventually arrive on their snowmobile after catching an unscheduled fifth shuttle, and are cheered by the rest.

The next morning, Adam remarks how white it is outside his tent. Jonathon asks Victoria, “Do we love each other again?” This about makes me lose my enchrito dinner. Gus exits his tent snow-bathing without a shirt. Lori says, “My implants are frozen!”

The teams now need to drive to Glacier Ice Beach, exciting some. They are met by a clue box informing them of a Detour. They can either pick Ice Climbing or Ice Searching. In Ice Climbing the teams need to trek the glacier, and climb up the slippery ice with ice picks. They can get this done quickly, but it is a long distance to get there. In Ice Search, it is a short distance to get there and not scary, but it can be time-consuming as they comb a large lagoon searching by boat for an orange buoy holding their clue.

I don’t even have the correct words of a reply to Jonathon as he tells Victoria, “Don’t talk to me like that.” Kris is so excited to be on her first Detour, and is obviously an Amazing Race fan. Avi and Joe decide to do the Ice Search, and are not having an easy time of it. They begin calling it like a pet, “Here Buoy, Buoy … Here Buoy, Buoy.” All of the other teams that have already arrived are choosing the Ice Cleaning, which they finish quickly. Their next clue takes them to Blue Lagoon for their first pit stop. Oddly, I see no Brooke Shields or Christopher Atkins.

Jonathon and Victoria arrive to do the ice searching, and look for a boat where the driver has his “game face” on. Once on the boat, they find the buoy right away, while Joe and Avi continue to search. Gus and Hera are the only other racers to attempt looking for the buoy. Once Avi and Joe find the buoy and reach land again, they exclaim, “Aloha, welcome to the big island, everyone!” They decide to take the back roads to get to Blue Lagoon, hoping to regain some time.

Climbing the ice, Kristy asks her sister, “How does my butt look?” Bolo and Lori argue, as do Jonathon and Victoria, of course. Don and Mary Jean, the token older couple, argue about his driver’s seat position. Bolo eventually admits to making a mistake with the map, and warns Lori not to keep running her mouth like a dumbass redneck.

As Gus and Hera take their time, knowing they are last, Hayden and Aaron arrive at Blue Lagoon first. Phil informs them they are first, and tries to inform them they have won a trip to Hawaii, but is interruped by them hugging him. Meredith and Maria and Don and Mary Jean are the last to attempt the Ice Climbing. Finishing it, Don says he would rather put that ice in a martini.

Kris and Jon arrive at the pit stop second, followed closely by Lena and Kristy for third, which they are quite surprised with. Making great time, Adam and Rebecca need to stop for gas, or as he said, “to feed the lizard.” Rebecca realizes she made a mistake putting regular gas in the car instead of diesel, and asks if that is a big problem. The mechanic comes out and says he will need to “suck it out.” When Adam asks how he knows this, the mechanic says, “Because I am a mechanic.” They get this done more quickly than they had thought, and Adam and Rebecca are back on the road. Freddie and Kendra arrive for a much unexpected fourth place. Jonathon says, “First eliminated won’t be us!” as he and Victoria arrive for fifth place. Lori and Bolo take sixth as they argue about it.

Avi and Joe are in their own little world, as Avi remarks, “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” Hera tells her dad not to tell her to be careful, as she says wants to be right on Avi and Joe’s butt. They arrive at what they think is Blue Lagoon, but it appears to be the more touristy side, not the area set up for the pit stop. They head back to their car, seeing Avi and Joe along the way. When told it was the wrong place, Avi wants to go check it out anyway, just in case the others missed something. They of course see the same thing.

Adam and Rebecca, Meredith and Maria, and Don and Mary Jean take seventh, eighth and ninth in that order. Hoping Avi and Joe are still behind them, Hera and Gus run in and take tenth place, which they are very happy with, after their mistake nearly caused them to be eliminated. Avi and Joe arrive, and are told they are last and eliminated, which is shocking to them.

Avi and Joe had the right attitude going in and going out of this race. They weren’t arguing, kept their light-hearted sense of humor along the way, and accepted the journey for what it was and still felt they accomplished things that had previously never dreamed of. All of the racers should be so lucky.

I welcome questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com

Oops, I Blew All My Cash – The $25 Million Dollar Hoax, Episode 2


by aurora

Last week we met the Sanfords, a down-to-earth and loving family, whose daughter Chrissy agreed to take part in what has been billed as the biggest hoax in television history. She’s convinced everyone that she’s won 5 million bucks in an internet lottery, and the whole family has been shuttled off to Palm Springs to wait for Chrissy to spin a big wheel and have the chance to win up to $50,000,000 more. Chrissy’s task is to spend all of the five mill on herself, while being as rude and obnoxious to her family as she possibly can. If any of them catch on, and if even one family member refuses to be at the ‘wheel spin’, then Chrissy loses out on the $400,000 in prizes she’s been offered for her and the rest of the Sanford clan.

It’s a new day in Palm Springs, and we’re told that Chrissy has to up the ante and transform herself from sweet sister to greedy diva. She’s chartered a private jet ($15,000) to take them to Beverly Hills for a shopping spree on Rodeo Drive. She choses to take two brothers, Holly, and her parents. On the way, Dad is on the phone and he says that he wants to make sure that Chrissy takes care of herself and invests her money instead of blowing it all, and privately he says that he’s getting a little concerned about his daughter. Mom agrees, and asks herself what Chrissy could possibly want to go to Rodeo Drive to buy.

The family boards a stretch limo and arrives on Rodeo Drive. Spectators crowd around the limo, thinking someone famous is inside, and Chrissy pretends to love the attention, waving to her ‘fans’. The first stop on the shopping trip from hell is Jonathan Salon for a makeover. Dad comments that he’s seeing a side of his dauther that he hadn’t seen before, and Mom tells us it was apparent that Chrissy was calling the shots. David and Eric, the brothers, decide to head over to Supercuts for their own makeovers, and as they pay $14 plus tip for their do’s, Chrissy forks over $300 for her haircut. Holly says that she doesn’t think that it’s the money that’s turning Chrissy into this terrible person that she’s becoming, she thinks it’s selfishness and greed.

Everyone’s in the limo again, and voiceover dude tells us that there’s a new rule in place – if anyone in her family wants something, Chrissy has to buy it for herself. Nice. The next stop is Lladro, home of some of the most expensive porcelain sculptures in the world. Champagne is brought out as Chrissy browses, and Mom comments that she’s going to be a drunk before this day is over. Holly finds a piece that she really likes – a small, $400 mermaid. Eric (boyfriend) suggests that he can cash his disability check and buy it for her, and as Holly thinks about his offer Chrissy comes along and snaps up the mermaid for herself. Chrisst ends up spending over $47,000 on 12 sculptures.

Now it’s off to St. John, where Madonna and Paris Hilton shop. La-de-da. Chrissy looks and belts, shoes, jackets, dresses, etc etc, as her family watches. More champagne is uncorked, but Mom abstains while Dad says he thinks he’s going to need “a lot of this stuff”.

As Chrissy tries on clothes, Mom and Dad ask each other if she has offered to buy anything for them, and of course the answer is no. Mom tells David that Chrissy is winding down now, she hopes. After paying $57,000 for her new duds, this is questionable.

The next store they hit is some fancy-schmancy jewellery store, where Chrissy is shown a diamond bracelet that Charlize Theron wore to the Academy Awards. Sold. Then Chrissy looks at diamond earrings and necklaces, while Dad is blown away by the prices of these items. The family is getting fed up, and it shows. David points out a watch that he wants, so Chrissy picks up a pink diamond watch for herself. She says privately that if she had actually won this money, the first thing she would do is buy things for other people. But as things are now, she’s going along with the hoax and pays for her $1,700,000 in jewels. Meanwhile, the rest of the family discusses how disgusting the situation is. Chrissy asks David if he’s loving this, and when he says he’s not she tells him that he deserves to be poor. Ouch.

While the shopping portion of the day is over, there is still more spending to do. Chrissy heads to a recording studio with her family in tow. Dad is sure that Chrissy is finally doing something for someone else, and nudges Holly happily. Remember, Holly is an aspiring country singer. Alas, generosity is nowhere to be found as the Sanfords discover that Chrissy’s intent is actually to buy herself a career as a pop star.

Mom’s favourite band is N’Sync, and who should be at the recording studio but Lance Bass. He’s there with voice coach David Cory. Lance meets the family, and Eric is impressed that he’s just a regular guy. Ah, irony. Chrissy admits that she can’t sing a note to save her life, and when she works with the singing coach this proves to be true. Holly is getting madder and madder, and as Chrissy attempts some scales, she blurts out “Come on, stupid!”

David Cory brings out the lyrics and music for Britney Spears’ “Oops I Did It Again”, and Chrissy’s rendition is horrible. Mom makes icky faces and proclaims the performance to be “just awful”. Holly can’t take it any longer and heads outside. She talks to someone who’s outside having a smoke, and says that she’s worked all her life for something like this and it’s hard to watch “this bitch” just walk in and do it because she has money. Holly is so upset she’s crying. Chrissy notices that Holly is gone, and wonders how far she can take this before she’s “affecting someone’s being” and changing their perceptions of herself as a person. I think it’s past that point now, at least for Holly.

Anyway, Holly tries to cool off and comes back inside. She attempts to enjoy the platinum and gold records hanging on the wall. and fantasizes that one day it will be her up there. Eric arrives and Holly breaks down again, crying and obviously devastated. At this point I have to wonder – is this all worth it?

The singalong finished, David Cory reprimands Mom for saying that Chrissy’s singing stinks. He says “don’t say that in front of me, I can get a voice out of a cactus baby.” Chrissy pays the $18,000 for Cory’s services, as Holly says that the whole trip to Beverly Hills must have been orchestrated just to piss her off. It does seem that Holly is bearing the brunt of the ‘nastiness’ here for some reason.

The limo ride back to the jet is tense, with Holly sitting up front with the driver because she doesn’t want to be anywhere near Chrissy. In the back, someone points out that Holly is very upset, and Chrissy says “I don’t care. Me me me.” Dad tries to make a joke, but the tension is still hanging heavy. Heading back to the resort in Palm Springs, the arguments start up again. The family tells Chrissy she’s turning into a diva, and one of her brothers reminds her that she’s still a Sanford before she’s a millionaire.

What does a new millionaire with a burgeoning pop star career ahead of her spend her money on? New boobs, of course! Chrissy, Mom, Dad, and Paul (brother) head off to see a plastic surgeon. Poor Dad still has hope that his daughter could possibly do something for Daddy, and thinks that maybe they’re there to get him some laser eye surgery. But no, we all know that’s not the plan. Chrissy meets with an actor posing as a doctor, who suggests a number of procedures that would benefit a young starlet. We get a confessional from Dad that is heartbreaking, as he laments the loss of his little girl. Again, is this worth it for $400,000 in mystery prizes?

The ‘doctor’ addresses the breast surgery, and Chrissy says that yes, she wants to make ’em bigger. Dad says that Chrissy plays a lot of soccer, and this will hinder that for her. The family plays with some implants as Mom makes jokes, trying to make things more comfortable for the men who are clearly anything but comfortable. The ‘doctor’ calls in his receptionist (who has huge cans), and asks her to show them to the family as an example of some of his work. She agrees, and pulls down her halter top. You thought things were a tad uncomfortable before? Dad looks like someone is plucking his leg hairs out one by one – he can’t even sit there any longer. Mom says that Paul and Dad didn’t know what to do with themselves, their heads were spinning on their necks. Mom is a funny lady, her confessionals are great. Dad admits that he didn’t know where to look – at her eyes or a little lower down. If he had been there with just his son, he would have been throwing dollar bills at this woman. Chrissy decides on the implants and walks out $28,000 poorer.

Even with all of the cash Chrissy has blown so far, she still has a little over $3 million to spend. What’s the best way to blow a large sum of money? Real estate.

Chrissy and her family meet with an agent, who explains that vacant lots go for about a million, whereas a complete house can sell for up to 7 million. Dad tells us that he’s in construction and one of his sons is an electrician – they could buy a lot and build a house, and make some money if Chrissy will front the business. He has dreams that the whole family could start living the lifestyle that he’s been a part of this past week.

The agent suggests they go to see a couple of homes, so the family piles into the car. Chrissy comments that living in the desert, it would be just her luck that she’d buy a house and then get bitten by a rattlesnake and die. Mom throws back that if a rattler bit her, it would be the snake that dies. You go Mom! The first house that they see is gigantic and beautiful, and costs $4,750,000. Just for the record, Holly is not there for this little excursion. Guess she had enough in Beverly Hills.

The second house is even bigger and even more luxurious, complete with a theater room that Dad is hugely impressed with. Dad says that this was just an outing to see how the other half lives – Chrissy actually buying a house like this is the furthest thing from his mind. Poor Dad, he keeps getting these unhappy and unwelcome surprises – you know exactly where this is going of course, right? David comments that if Chrissy buys a house, he’s done. Chrissy tells us that her family was definitely grateful that they made it out of the real estate agent’s grips without spending any money, but adds that tomorrow is another day. She seems to be less hesitant about hurting or disappointing her loved ones now.

It’s the day of the big wheel spin, and Chrissy has something to share with her family before they get ready to go. No, it’s not the secret – remember, the wheel will land on $25,000,000 and that’s when she has to come clean. Chrissy has worked out a plan with the real estate agent allowing her to purchase the first house they looked at. The family is flabbergasted. The money is gone, and they didn’t see a penny of it. Dad is especially disappointed as he sees his dream of his family being financially secure going down the tubes. Mom stands with her mouth wide open and her hands flailing. Chrissy points out that $5 million is the least she can win, and she’ll be making money with her singing career. Dad asks if she even considered the idea of them building the house, and Chrissy says that she wanted it now. The family is furious, and the tension is even higher than it was after all the shopping. Chrissy is genuinely worried that they won’t show up for the wheel spin, and indeed several of her brothers claim that they don’t want to go. She adds that she doesn’t think they even want her to win more money. Well of course they don’t – they’ve been through enough.

Chrissy gets upset and leaves the room, and the final words we hear are Dad saying “Get her back in here. We have to talk some sense into her.”

The finale is next week, and I can only imagine how things will work out when everyone finds out this was a hoax. I’m expecting a gamut of emotions, which will hopefully turn into relief and forgiveness. This is a good, decent family, and I hope they come out of this okay.

Comments are welcome! Contact me at carrie@realityshack.com and share your thoughts.


Swan 2, Episode 4 – Sister Act

Sisters Kari and Gina B both applied to be Swans. At the beginning of the show, Kari is told that she was accepted into the program and Gina wasn’t. Gina tearfully let her little sis go off to be transformed and said she was happy for her, but she was sad a little too.

Well, SURPRISE! SURPRISE! Gina will also get to be a Swan. She has to keep her involvement in the program a secret from her baby sis, however. That’s gonna be hard since the girls are virtually joined at the hip.

Kari and Gina both have weight issues (and huge bazooms.) They are among the few would-be swans who have to have BREAST REDUCTION.

Kari’s plan entails:

*liposuction
*brow lift
*veneers (She asked Dr. Worth if she’d break her veneers because she falls a lot. Dr. Worth was like, “but do you fall on your teeth?” :clap:
*1,200 calorie a day diet
*6 day a week, 2-hour a day training sessions in the gym.

Gina’s plan entails:

*liposuction
*tummy tuck
*dental work
*diet (* when meeting with the nutritionist, Gina was scared because she’d have to give up her beloved soda. She wasn’t sure she could do it!)

To quote the crazy guy in the Waterboy, I say, YOU CAN DO IT!
:whoohoo:

After her first round of surgery, Kari had trouble waking up from the anesthetic. Her breathing rhythm was off or something. Dr. Haworth was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to have the breast reduction. OH NO! Not that!

Regardless, it was good to see that they do extra precautions and had Kari undergo several tests including those with sleep specialists to ensure that she would be okay to undergo more surgery.

It put her progress back a bit, but Kari seemed to have a good attitude about the whole ordeal and I was rooting for her.

Gina felt encouraged as Dr. Dubrow told her that her progress was good and her tummy looked great. She had the most trouble (almost) with keeping the secret from Kari.

In the end, both sisters looked absolutely gorgeous. They went from being overweight to very little. They worked their asses off literally! 😆

Kari saw herself first. She cried, of course. Then, Gina. Then, Kari was brought back in so they could reveal to her that Gina was her competition. Gina was gracious and said, “we’re both winners.”

I hope that’s good consolation, sweetie, ‘cuz your lil sis beat you out for a spot in the pageant.

SPOILER – next week, one of the Swans will have a brush with cancer. It’s bound to be another tear-jerker 😥

—Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos. Email me at panndyra@realityshack.com if you also wonder why the girls seem to lose IQ points during the transformation process…he, he, he….

Soup's On! – My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, Episode 2

by LauraBelle

N. Paul Todd, aka actor William August, tells us his goal in tonight’s show is to confuse the eleven remaining contestants. Throughout the show, he succeeds in doing just that. His true success isn’t found as a billionaire, but at deception, and he is deviously good at it.

As the show opens, we see Robert come back to the penthouse, and tell the other contestants it was Daniel who was fired with Todd’s catchphrase of, “Get the hell out of my office!” Robert also tells the other men that he called Robert “short” right before he let Daniel go. The men are in disbelief, noting they never expected a billionaire to be so politically incorrect, and asking why rake him over the coals for his height. It’s not like that’s something he can change.

A woman from the fictional corporation of Iocor enters and awards both of the team leaders, Tanya and Robert, the honor or visiting N. Paul Todd’s townhouse. It is their first executive privilege. They get to each choose two teammates to go along.

William August tells us it’s time to see what billionaire BS they can get away with. They rented this eighteen billion dollar brownstone that morning, and this is his first time inside. Once inside, he introduces his guests to his golddigger wife and spoiled brat of a daughter, both actresses playing the roles.

Mrs. and Mrs. Todd take the contestants on tours around the house, and mention to the viewing audience that they were making up the information and history of the items as they went along. The only person that comes to mind that could have done as well or better would be Ant, from Last Comic Standing, who skillfully did the same on a Hollywood tour bus.

Mrs. Todd suggests Mr. Todd play his guests a tune on the piano, since he’s been getting so good at it. He does play a tune, and the actress playing Mrs. Todd mentions to the viewing audience how funny it is that he was just okay, but the contestants oohed and aahed so much. Robert just adds that his money allows Mr. Todd to be eccentric.

N. Paul Todd then leads the visitors to a room where he says while some people have saved their first earned dollar, he has saved his first earned million. He opens the door and shows them a huge display case with what looks like that whole amount of one million stored inside. It is actually just bills glued to the front of empty cases, William August explains. Todd shows his guests the infrared lights of his hi-tech security system protecting the cash, but it’s really just a couple of cheap laser pointers they bought that morning.

William August had one big stunt left, and said that he feared he was pressing his luck. He is so believable as Mr. Todd, I don’t think he’ll ever push it too far. Buying it hook, line and sinker definitely explains this group. N. Paul Todd shows his guests a silver sword encased in glass, and claims it is the authentic Excalibur. Later, William August explains it was actually a cheap replica they had bought on the internet, and ran over with a car a few times. I believe the only thing missing was the ketchup dripping off the fake sword.

Kerry makes a very odd statement at this point, as she asks, “You know what would look good here?” And answers her own question, “Me!” Mrs. Todd got noticeably upset, and when she’s called on her boldness, Kerry explains she wasn’t hitting on N. Paul Todd; she wants his house, not him. She isn’t nearly as believable at her deception here as the Todds are.

The following day, their immunity challenge brings them to Buckingham Fountain in Chicago. Robert will be the new leader of the men’s team, and since they won last week, Tanya gets to choose who her successor will be, and she chooses Annette. On a hot July afternoon, Todd says they need to prove his theory that they need to tell the customers what they want. The teams will be selling cups of soup for four dollars apiece to passersby. David, a crony of N. Paul Todd’s, grills each team, asking what their sales pitch will be, using colloquialisms such as, “selling ice to an eskimo.” No matter what they come up with, he beats them down again. Reminding the teams that the loser will send somebody home, Todd replaces, “Ready, Set, Go” with “Soup’s On!” sending the teams out to sell their wares.

The women’s team, Femron, is being watched by Jamie, another of Todd’s cronies, and the men’s team, Comcad by David. The women argue off the bat, as Kristie is refusing to lie to make a sale. Femron decides to use their old standby – sex. Comcad realizes they will be doing this, and follows behind them, trying to dissuade people from buying soup form the women. Finally, they realize the women are making some sales, and they still aren’t, and they decide to sell sex as well, pointing to contestant David with his model-looks, who they call Abercrombie, to lead the way.

The women initially struggle, and Kristy suggests they try selling their healthy soup in front o a fast food place, but the others would rather lie instead, saying things like “We are a catering company” and “we were up all night cooking this.” When the women’s team starts doing too well, the big guns are sent in, and a possee of Italian Ice peddlers follow them around, taking business away from them.

At the end of the challenge, the teams are lined up in front of N. Paul Todd, Jamie and David. As the viewers are told the goal was to confuse the contestants, Jamie reprimands the women for using the gender card and flirting to sell their soup. Meeting their goal, the women are indeed confused, saying they were wearing clothes like turtlenecks and pants. They stare in disbelief as Todd winks at them brazenly.

David now faces the men and says they looked classier, and it worked for them. He says he is too excited about their fresh-faced looks. He adds that looking at them, you can “see the shape of it.” The men’s team begins to question his double standard … and his sexuality. Back on the women’s team, Kerry wonders if she is supposed to put a potato in her pants. Whatever floats your boat, Hon.

Femron earned a respectable $431, and Comcad $521. Comcad gets to relax at the penthouse while Femron will need to meet with N. Paul Todd in the boardroom. I have to point out I have lived in the Chicago suburbs all my life, and anyone that can earn $431, let alone $521 for selling hot soup in July should be commended. Regardless, Todd tells them, “One of you broads is going home,” to the shocked looks of many. Kerry says if this was in her company, she’d report him to Human Resources.

In the boardroom, N. Paul Todd is once again flanked by Jamie and David, and is sitting across the table from the six female contestants. Todd would like them to speak up and name names for who they feel is responsible for their loss. Outside of the boardroom, William August tells us their goal here is to frustrate and anger the women. They are one hundred percent successful.

Todd grabs his notes and asks who compaliend about the type of soup. No one wants to ‘fess up. H turns his anger to Annette, saying she was enthusiastic and energitc as boss, but he has found ouit Elli was really running the show. She emphatically denies his claims. He moves on and says his other concren is that they’re not listening to each other. He explains Kerry had an idea to sell the soup in front of the fast food joint, but no one listened to her. All sit there tight-lipped, knowing it was Kristie and not Kerry, but not knowing whether they should risk speaking up to Todd. Eventually they do, and Todd, Jamie and David spend a hilarious few moments getting all the women confused. Not only do they look alike, many have names that start with K.

Todd switches gears once again, and tells the women that they sold $400, and that wasn’t bad. His cell phone rings, and the women exchange nervous glances. He calls the caller, “Honey” and indicates to the person on the phone he is being interrupted. As he hangs up the phone, he puts the pressure on Annette, and tells her as boss, she needs to name two women she feels are responsible for their loss. Hesitating, she finally ponies up the names Kerry and Kristie.

Sending the other four women back to the penthouse, Todd decides to toss out a curveball, and asks Kerry to name three reasons why he should keep Kristie. Kerry says Kristie believes she’s honest, has a unique perspective and background, and always thinks before she answers too quickly. Confusing them yet one more time, N. Paul Todd, instead of asking Kristie to point out three good qualities of Kerry, instead asks her for three negative qualities. Kristie cites Kerry’s attitude, that she doesn’t think before she speaks, and that she makes enemies wherever she goes. Kristie has that right – she certainly made an enemy out of Mrs. Todd! Kerry looked absolutely stunned as she sat there in her tight bun, glasses and pouty lips.

Mr. Todd sends the two women out of the room, and David asks Jamie if she was really taking notes. She tells him, no, she was drawing boots. Diet Coke spewed out of my mouth at this notion. Todd leaves to speak to the boss, an unseen man in a chair. William August tells us his mystery boss gives him no reasoning for his answers, so as Todd, he is able to justify the choice however he wants.

Back in the boardroom with the women, he tells them he won’t lie, the more he expected it to be easy, the harder it go. He says on one hand to Kerry that she has a bad attitude, on the other hand great business people have to. To Kristie, he says on one hand you’re not a team player, on the other hand, “Get the hell out of my office.” Oddly enough, the weird smirk remains on Kerry’s face.

Outside the building a dejected Kristie says she isn’t sure what she learned from this experience. She points to seeing the Excalibur as odd, since the bearer is supposed to be true of heart, but doesn’t feel N. Paul Todd possesses that quality since he encourages lies and sabotage. I wonder what qualities the bearer of fake replicas from the internet are supposed to have. My guess is N. Paul Todd has those qualities in multiple.

I welcome questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com

I Just Want To Live My Life – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 11

by LauraBelle

Surreal Life 3’s last episode – The Best and Worst Moments – is predictable, but a good send-up of the six different personalities living in the house. Mostly, as the cast details their best and worst moments, it doesn’t answer questions, but instead confirms the already heavily suggested. Dave Coulier said it best when he said that all of the characters in there are larger than life, and in light of that, he’s never found himself to be more normal.

Asked to pinpoint their best moment in the house, half of the cast picked the day they had the Battle of the Bands, when in pairs, the celebrities were grouped with child musicians to create their own bands. Flav-A-Flav points to the band he created with Jordan Knight and winning the battle, as his high point, pointing especially to his child accordion player. She says Flav-A-Flav taught her she could really rock that accordion.

Brigitte Nielsen also thought of her day of working with Dave and the child musicians as her high point. After the competition, the boys in their newly created band encouraged Brigitte to push the emcee, Brady Bunch’s Barry Williams, into the pool. As she helped him into the pool, the young boys told her, “You’re so cool!” Working with them, she said, made her think of her own kids, and made her cry.

Ryan Starr also felt her best moment in the house was that day. She and Charo had formed a group with a very talented young female rock singer. Madison had been a fan of Ryan’s from American Idol, and by the end of the day, Ryan felt she was a bigger fan of Madison’s, than Madison was of her.

The day they learned to surf with the famous surfing Willis brothers, was what Dave chose as his favorite moment in the Surreal Life house. When he came back to shore, after surfing for the first time, everyone had told him that was amazing. Jordan also chose a day that pointed to a personal accomplishment, the day they cut the Surreal Life single. But instead of pointing to his own success, he pointed to what he had to put up with, Ryan crying and Charo screaming.

Lastly, Charo chose a personal highlight of her own too – the day before they learned to surf when she played a concert in the casino with her housemates all in the front row. She was excited to be there, as the stage is her home. At the end of her one-woman show, Charo pulled the whole Surreal Life cast onstage with her, then played a special song she had written just for Brigitte, and told the audience Brigitte had bigger boobs than her.

Both Dave and Brigitte felt the evening spent at the haunted hospital was their worst moment. Dave says it freaked him out, and that normally not many things scare him. He says it was the weirdest, most awful thing he has ever experienced. Brigitte, who had investigated the hospital along with Flav-A-Flav, says they still don’t know if it was real or not, or whether they had been set up. She adds she had nightmares about it that evening.

Flav-A-Flav talks of the day he acted like a spoiled child as being his worst day. He had wanted to drive home from the casino, but without a driver’s license, the other passengers wouldn’t let him. He says he stopped brooding only because he wanted it to be a happy show.

When Jordan couldn’t find his own room with a working door on it waiting in the house just for him, he thinks that was his worst moment there. He eventually hijacked the phone room into being his bedroom, and stacked boxes in the doorway to act as a makeshift door. When a drunken, sleepy Brigitte tripped over the boxes wearing only an apron, chef’s hat and thong, Jordan thoughtfully placed the boxes outside of the room. Oddly, this is the moment Brigitte is most proud of, as she says that’s the real her.

Ryan’s worst moment was date night. Each of the three women spent alone time with each of the three men. Ryan felt Flav-A-Flav was particularly rude to ask her personal questions. When Ryan wasn’t succumbing to his charms, Flav-A-Flav asked if she was a lesbian. He followed this question by asking if she was a virgin. Ryan says her mistake was holding her anger in, and not letting him know immediately when he upset her.

Curiously, Charo never mentions a worst moment, but both she and Brigitte feel one of their most favorite moments was their last dinner together. Walking in and finding displayed across the table pictures of their stay in the house, the cast read out loud cards they had written for each other. Brigitte wrote to Ryan saying if she was a man, she would be in love with Ryan. Ryan felt a little weird after that, and wondered if Brigitte was bisexual, in love with both her and Flav-A-Flav.

Ryan, for her part, decided to let bygones be bygones, and wrote a thoughtful card to Flav-A-Flav. She told him in the card that it had been a wild ride with him, full of ups and downs, but she saw moments of sweetness and caring, and respected him for his talent as a musician, and added a P.S. saying hopefully he learned how not to speak to her. Flav-A-Flav seemed sincerely touched by this, and thanked and hugged Ryan.

Flav-A-Flav obviously still angry about Ryan’s words about him during the Dirty Laundry show, wrote cards that weren’t very heartfelt towards anyone but Brigitte. He told Ryan to be good to herself, told Dave it’s been real, told Jordan he wasn’t the oldest kid on the block, told Charo he loved her, and saved the warmest for last and Brigitte, as he told her he loved her, and wanted her to keep loving him, and said there was no place for anyone else. Clearly, he was warm with the only person he felt would not reject kind words from him.

Dave’s note to Brigitte said that it was tough for him to around her and the nudity and cigarettes, etc., but putting that aside, he found her to be caring, open, and intelligent, straightforward and true to herself. True to Dave’s nature, this was the most honest words spoken the whole night. He seemed to be the only one in the house that could cut through the lines of BS.

As the show wound up with their advice to the Surreal Life 4 cast with such meaningless things as “bring earplugs”, I thought of how my feelings of these six had changed. Flav-A-Flav, I had no pre-existing thoughts on, but felt he was too scared to be himself, so was too often over-the-top. Jordan, my thoughts didn’t change much on – he doesn’t have much going other than his New Kids On The Block. Charo is much more than a seventies Love Boat joke; she has amazing talent and is very maternal. Ryan is more complicated than we were shown on American Idol. Brigitte covers up her loneliness with the booze, but is very caring underneath, And Dave, oh Dave, he was certainly not the one-schtick routine I thought of him as since Full House. He has so much more going for him than that, and it boggles my mind that his career has been in obscurity since Full House ended. Listening to the song Jordan wrote, as the show closed, perhaps Jordan has more going for him than I have been giving him credit for. The whole season can probably best be summed up with those words he wrote and Ryan skillfully sang, “I just want to live my life.”

I welcome questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com

Interview With Toccara Jones of America's Next Top Model 3



by aurora

If you’ve seen even one episode of ANTM3, you know that Toccara wants to be the first plus-sized super model. If anyone can pull that off, it’s her! Her spirit and confidence shone throughout the show, and she was just as much fun to speak with as I had hoped she would be. Read on!

Hi Toccara! First of all, congratulations! You were so amazing each and every week, and we’re all big fans of yours!

Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!

Last night Nigel said that you needed to reinstall your personality chip – what the heck was up with that?

I know! Can you believe he said that? I’m speechless! I can’t believe he said that, and I can’t believe they all agreed with him!

I’m happy though. Obviously the fans like me, since I’ve been Cover Girl of the Week for a few weeks now!

Well that leads to my next question – it’s been four weeks straight for you as Cover Girl of the Week, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it becomes five weeks. How does that feel?

It is such a joy! I watched the show last night, and I knew it was my night to go, but I was thinking that if I get Cover Girl of the Week again, it’ll all have been worth it.

It’s the fans that vote on that, and those are the people who will buy the products and buy the magazines that I’m modelling for, so it’s such a thrill. It’s so special to know that I have that kind of support.

Were you as surprised as we were that you were cut? When Tyra said that one person wanted it more, I thought for sure I’d be talking with Ann today.

I was totally surprised. Everyone and their momma knows that I want this more than anything! You definitely should have been interviewing Ann today!

What’s happening now? Have you had any offers coming your way?

Well I just got cut last night! I’m sure offers will start coming in soon. It’ll happen; I’m going to be the world’s first black plus-size super model!

Have you been reading any of the message boards, and have you felt the love and support of all your fans?

I do read some of them – they crack me up! I was reading some stuff last night, and even the people who said they didn’t like me were surprised that I got cut. So that was kind of nice.

What did you do to regain your confidence after facing the judges and the industry in general?

I take it all with a grain of salt. I’m a sensitive person and some of the things that went on hurt me, but you’ve gotta keep rolling. I shed my tears and I kept on going, that’s all I could do.

Did the argument last week between Janice and Tyra surprise you?

You know what, I was watching that on TV and my mouth was on the floor! I knew Tyra was supportive of me, but when she busted Janice and had that replay and everything I was yelling, “Yeah Tyra! You tell her! You go Tyra!”

Would you recommend this experience to other aspiring plus-size models?

Well, I would but only if you’re very confident, secure, and grounded. This is a harsh industry, and you have to know that you’re the best thing since sliced bread. You have to know it and believe it, and you have to remind yourself of it constantly. It was a great experience, but those people can tear you down and you have to be ready for it.

What were your high and low points on the show?

My low point was with Michelle, the stylist, who made such a big deal about the clothes not fitting me. That’s when the industry hit me right in the face. I felt the pressure that full-figured women go through. But it was a learning experience. I know I’ll face that again and again, and it was definitely an eye-opener for me. I know what to expect now.

My high point was getting picked to go to the house! Only 14 of us got that far, and it was so exciting to watch a dream coming true right before my eyes.

What would you like to say to you many fans out here?

I really want to thank everyone for their support! And don’t worry, you’ll be seeing me again soon!

Thanks so much Toccara – I’m looking forward to seeing you on the cover of Vogue one day!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Comments are welcome! Contact me at carrie@realityshack.com.


Everything Reality TV