Two Down, One to Go – The Apprentice 2, Episode 14


by aurora

Apologies first for missing last week’s episode. Let it suffice to say that the Norwalk virus has hit my neighbourhood and I was sicker than Jessie Camacho in Survivor:Africa. All’s well now though, so let’s carry on!

Last week on The Apprentice, the teams were asked to create and pedal candy bars. Jen and Sandy decided to finally use their blonde hair and long legs to their advantage and dressed provocatively, while Ivana desperately offered to drop her skirt for $20. Needless to say, Ivana, Kelly, and Kevin ended up in the boardroom where Ivana was unceremoniously fired. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I grew to like and appreciate Ivana as the season went on, and was sorry to see her go. Four candidates are left – who will be fired this week?

Sandy and Jen are preparing dinner and speculating on who will return fron the boardroom. They both think that Ivana will be gone, and are proven right when Kelly and Kevin return. Sandy says that this whole process is a marathon, and now is the time to start sprinting.

Privately, Kelly asks Sandy about Jen’s behaviour when Trump delivered the task and asked for a project manager. Sandy says that Jen had said “If you really don’t want to then I guess I will”. Jen overhears the conversation between Kelly and Sandy, and jumps in to defend herself – but this comes after the clip in the intro showing Jen taking no responsibility to step up as PM.. She tells the camera that Kelly is a coward and speaks in whispers. She tells them both that she definitely wanted to go in and lead the task.

The following morning Rona calls, and Kelly answers the phone in his underwear, making him the official telephone-stud of The Apprentice 2. Rona tells them to meet with Mr. Trump at Trump World Tower.

Trump welcomes the group, and congratulates them on making it to the final four out of over a million job applicants. He tells them that there are no more teams, no more project managers, and no more exemptions. They are about to be interviewed by four of the greatest executives anywhere in the world. The execs are: Alan Jope from Unilever , Dawn Hudson from Pepsi, Ace Greenberg from Bear Stearns, and Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots. Combines, these companies have over half a million employees, and gross over 80 billion dollars a year in revenue. After the interviews, this panel of execs will report back to Trump with their recommendations. Two people will be fired, and the other two will move on to the final task.

The execs fire questions at each candidate, and we see clips of them all struggling though their time in the hot seat. Sandy has to defend the fact that she’s never been involed in a corporate environment, while Jen gives glossy answers that require deeper follow-up questions. Kevin trumpets his extensive education, and Kelly relies on his vast experience and military training.

Trump meets with his panel, who reflects on their interviews. Everyone likes Kelly, and are impressed with his military background. They are unsure of Kevin, and Alan Jope says that he is intense to the point of agressiveness. Meanwhile, in the apartment, hugs are going around while Jen confesses that this isn’t about friendships or alliances; she’s in it for herself now. The panel thinks that Jen said all the right things, but wonder if she’s prepared to roll up her sleeves in the real world. They’re impressed with Sandy as well, and think she’s ready for a new challenge. They do, however, agree that Sandy might have a tough time transitioning into the business world.

Trump thanks the panel for their time and input, and sends them on their way. It’s boardroom time for the final four now, and Robin sends them in.

Kelly is immediately asked why Trump should keep him over Kevin. Kelly says that he’s got more experience, is trained in leadership, and is more creative. Kevin steps in and says that he is more receptive to learning the business and being the apprentice than Kelly is. Trump tells Kevin that his education is impressive, but at 29 years of age he should have decided what he wanted to do and started doing it. Trump adds that the panel had a hard time seeing where he was going in terms of direction. So, to start the evening off, Kevin is fired. Trump adds that Kevin will be a great success one day, and Kevin thanks him for the opportunity.

In his final words, Kevin says that he considers himself one of the two strongest candidates, but he respects Trump’s decisions. He’s thankful for the opportunity and will go on to work hard and hope that his talents speak for themselves.

Back in the boardroom, Trump says that firing Kevin wasn’t easy. He then tells Sandy and Jen that Kelly is safe now unless he says or does soething really stupid. Jen starts right in selling herself, saying that she has the intellectual horsepower and experience to make it. Sandy says that she’s been out there and worked hard, which you can’t learn from a textbook. They bicker with each other, with Jen saying that going to Princeton and Harvard was a risk and Sandy countering that graduating and making a six-figure income right out of college wasn’t risky, it was lucky.

Trump asks Kelly who performed better, and Jen pipes in that she only worked with Kelly one time. Kelly responds with, “He said Kelly, not Jen”. Kelly says that after the task he worked with Jen on, he sent her to the other side because he felt she was weak. He also says that she’s shied away from leading her team. Jen thinks that’s ridiculous and says that Kelly wants to weakest player to stick around so that he has a better chance of winning. Trump asks Kelly if this is true, and Kelly says that he thinks he can beat either one of these women.

Jen then tells Trump that she admires him and respects him as a leader, and she knows his company backwords and forwards. Trump asks Sandy if she knows how many employees he has, and she admits she doesn’t. Jen does of course, and says that Sandy should see how deep the water is before she jumps in the pool. Jen keeps talking circles around Sandy, and finally says that she doesn’t want to insult Sandy, but she herself is at a much higher level than Sandy is and would make a better employee for the Trump organization.

The insults and arguments fly for a few more minutes before Trump steps in and tells Sandy that he didn’t like the way she attacked Jen, but loved the way Jen attacked and defended herself. He says that running one of his companies is complex and he just doesn’t see Sandy being equipped for that. Sandy is fired. She thanks him for the opportunity and leaves, while Jen grins into her palms.

Sandy says in the cab that she thinks she performed much better than Jen, but she has no regrets. It’s been an amazing experience and she never realized how much she could accomplish in such a short period of time. She sees her future is wide open.

Trump congratulates Jen and Kelly and sends them back to the apartment, adding that they will get their final task the next morning in the boardroom.

Things are uncomfortable in the apartment, as Kelly and Jen avoid each other. Kelly says that he has no respect for Jen and wants to stay as far away from her as possible. Jen says that she knows that she can kick Kelly’s butt in the final task, and is ready for the prize.

You didn’t think we’d get through an episode without Trump’s words of wisdom did you? This week, it’s “Winning is Everything”. As we watch footage of Trump carrying the Olympic torch, he says that to be a winner you have to think like a winner. You have to be positive, and you cannot stop.

The next morning our final two meet with Trump. Carolyn, and George in the boardroom. Trump tells them that they’re the best of the best, and they really have done a great job. For their final task, they will each be managing a “really huge event”. Kelly will manage the Genworth-Trump Polo Cup, and help raise money for the Alzheimer’s Association. Jen will be in charge of the Genworth Charity Basketball Classic and raise money for the NBA’s “Read to Achieve” charity. They both have the same client, Genworth Financial. They are a new company looking to gain more awareness and raise their profile. Trump wants to see who’s the best at running the event, and based on their performance one of them will be chosen as The Apprentice.

Of course every manager needs employees, and this task is no exception. Trump brings in John, Raj, Chris, Elizabeth, Pamela, and Stacy R. He tells Jen and Kelly that even if they don’t get along, they now have to rely on these people to do a good job for them. Kelly gets the first pick, and he takes Elizabeth. Jen takes Chris, followed by Pamela and finally Stacy. Kelly selects Raj and John.

Trump reminds Jen and Kelly that they are the bosses, and he hopes they have assembled a good team. He reminds them that Carolyn and George will be watching them on their tasks. He send them on their way, saying that the employees will be driving in vans while the bosses will travel in a chaffeur-driven Maybach.

Jen gets on the phone with Chris and tells him about the event. She says privately that she needs to prove herself and if she can do a great job then it’s a very convincing argument that she can make the transition into the business world.

Meanwhile, Kelly asks his driver to stop so that he can give the details of the task to his team. Raj says that he has no interest in Kelly winning this task; he’s doing this because he likes winning. He couldn’t give a damn about Kelly, and adds that he’s a bit envious that there’s another man sitting in that Maybach striving for the win. Ah Raj, it’s good to have you back.

Kelly and his team arrive at Greenwich Polo Club, and are very impressed with the grounds. Kelly says that it reminds him of his home in Kentucky. He says that he senses some level of respect from Elizabeth, and that although he’s never worked with her before he’s heard that she does very well when given a specific task. Raj and John both think that Elizabeth has something to prove here and will work hard for Kelly.

They meet with a rep from the club, and find out that they need to get the Genworth sunburst logo on the field, which is a new thing for Greenwich.

Meanwhile, Jen is hashing things out with her team. She tells them that NBA star Chris Webber will be the emcee for the event, and asks Chris and Pamela to contact the NBA with their questions. Pamela says that contacting the NBA was huge, and it should never have been delegated by Jen. The gentleman on the phone asks who is in charge, and when Pamela answers “Jennifer Massey”, he asks where she is.

Over at the polo club, John says that Kelly has been stuck to his laptop the whole time, creating spreadsheets and lists. John, Raj, and Elizabeth all head out onto the field to take a break, leaving Kelly to wonder where his team is and worry that they don’t have anything at stake here.

Early the next morning, the teams are up and out the door. Jen says that she’s given her team a long list of to-do’s, and we see Chris struggling with dozens of boxes, trying to get them loaded on an elevator. George shows up and ask Chris if he’s being over or under-utilized, and Chris says that he’s definitely being utilized. George wants to know if Jen has spoken with the NBA, and when Chris says that he and Pamela did that, George confirms that Jen didn’t speak with them herself.

Jen meets with Genworth reps, and shows them what they have so far – which isn’t much. They reps want to ask Jen a lot of questions, and after talking with her one of them admits that she is very frustrated with Jennifer, and thinks that she is waiting for Genworth to come back to her to let her know exactly what they want and how to do it. She’s nervous and hopes the event isn’t a disaster.

Over at the polo club, the guys are trying to get the Genworth logo painted on the field, but Mother Nature has other ideas. It’s raining like mad, which puts the entire event in jeopardy. Raj finds out that Tony Bennett is coming to the match, which means that they have to add a stage setup, adding even more to their to-do list. One of the men from the polo club tells Kelly that if the rain keeps up, the event might have to be cancelled because the field will be too wet to play on. Kelly is very worried because he doesn’t have a “Plan B”.

Jen gets a call the night before the event an finds out that Chris Webber is trying to cancel. Jen says that she’s not letting him go without a fight and will do everything in her power to make sure that he is there. She tells the agent on the phone that they should never have confirmed him all day if there was a chance he wasn’t going to show. They’ve been selling this event with Webber’s name, and his cancellation basically ruins the entire thing.

Jen says that this 15-week interview has been more than she ever expected. She would love the opportunity to be Mr. Trump’s apprentice, and would savour every moment. She says that she has the passion and has what it takes to be the next apprentice. Kelly says that he has treated this whole process as an interview, and has kept his eye on the prize the whole time. He wasn’t there to have a good time, even though he did end up having a very good time. He came here to be the last man standing.

Will Chris Webber show up? Will the rain subside? Will Jen pull it all together and ease the fears of the Genworth folks? Will Kelly’s team pull together? Find out next week, when The Apprentice 2 wraps up and a winner is declared!

Send me your comments, your questions, and your predictions! Heck, just forward me a joke – I love hearing from you. Contact me at carrie@realityshack.com.


Oh, The Irony! – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 13

by LauraBelle

Mark Burnett loves nothing more than to keep us guessing with his editing; tonight was no exception. Many times he’ll set it up so that you think it is obviously going one way, only to have it surprisingly go the other in the end. Sometimes it goes just the way we expected it would. And sometimes, just like tonight, you change your mind about which way it’s going as much as the players do.

As the final five come back to camp, Twila is p.o.’d still about being called out on swearing on her son. It’s hard to tell exactly what she is saying, though, as the editors keep beeping out her multitude of curse words. Twila is mainly addressing Eliza, and says she is tired of hearing about it, and the only one she has to answer to is her son when she gets home. Tired about it or not, she is the one that keeps talking about it. Eliza talks to Julie about it, and says she was trying to apologize. Julie, for her part, must be chilly tonight, as they blurred her buff out as she wore it as a tube top. Eliza continues to talk, no surprise there, and says nobody talks to her like that (of course not, they normally can’t get a word in edgewise); she won’t tolerate it.

Chris tells the camera that he knew Twila going off like that wasn’t a good thing, as it was jeopardizing her position in the game. Julie is trying to elicit Eliza’s vote, first asking if she would consider voting Twila out. Julie realizes Eliza is tight with Chris, and will only go ahead with his approval. At this point, Twila still looks safe.

At the reward challenge, it’s time for second chances. With a series of four separate rounds and eliminations, the first race will be through the mud pit. Scout is so far behind she doesn’t even fit in the camera range with the others. Chris comes in first, followed by Eliza, Twila, and Julie, with Scout easily eliminated. The next change is a redux of the pig wrangling, which I am sure Eliza was none too happy to see again. Chris catches one first, followed by Julie, then Twila. Those darn pigs remain elusive for Eliza. Oh, the irony! Eliza is eliminated.

The third challenge is the tiki building. Chris gets off to a great start, and begins building his on the ground, then sets it on the pole, thinking he finished way before Julie and Twila. Jeff Probst simply tells him it’s not correct. The camera shows us a piece Chris has forgotten behind him that he doesn’t see. Julie and Twila eventually finish, with Chris still not getting it. Jeff Probst shows him the missing piece, and Chris is beside himself. It seem his mind can play people real well, yet it can’t play puzzles. Oh, the irony. Chris is eliminated, leaving Twila and Julie to fight the last one.

Julie and Twila will walk across a beam, untie the slingshot, and the first to shoot and break three tiles wins. Julie gets off to an early lead on the beam as Twila falls, and seems to injure her ankle. Twila catches up, but is no match for Julie, who breaks her three tiles with great ease.

Julie’s reward will be to horseback ride to watch a volcano, eat a hot dog dinner, and spend the night. Jeff Probst asks who she would like to bring with. Julie says it’s ironic, as none of these people would have chosen her. She ends up choosing Chris, knowing she needs to talk some strategy with him. I can’t keep from thinking it was a stupid move on her part to win. Everyone else has an alliance together, and she’s trying to break through it. So she shows them how well she can win challenges? Not good when you’re trying to stick around for Final Four. I am still thinking Twila is safe.

Julie and Chris are picked up on horseback by a guide named Joe Turu from Tanana. Chris’s horse is off to a slow start, refusing to cross the water, and eventually picks up speed, joining the rest. The horse seems just like Chris in the first episode of the show, how he was nearly eliminated for falling on a balance beam, yet remained on the show, picking up steam, and being one of the final five. Oh, the irony!

Joe guides them to a feast of foot long hot dogs, sauerkraut and all the fixings, hot chocolate, beer and wine. He even shows Chris and Julie how to steam the hot dogs in the rocks. As they digest their food, Julie brings up the possibility of voting out Twila. Chris tells her he is not tight with Twila, and admits Julie has never done anything to hurt him. Chris seems to be weighing his options.

Back at Alinta, Eliza is grappling with Twila again. She wants a banana, but Twila has hidden them to let them ripen. Eliza wants one now, and is upset that Twila isn’t sharing. Eliza gets upset and says then she will just to get her own bananas and bury them. Scout and Twila laugh at her getting this flustered. After, Twila and Eliza both call each other childish.

Once darkness arrives, Julie, Chris and Joe watch the volcano erupt from near the mouth of it. I note that is looks like the fourth of July, and seconds later Chris utters the same thing.

As Julie and Chris arrive back at camp, he hugs Eliza, Scout and Twila, telling them they’re still solid, and that nothing has changed. Privately, he tells the camera he’s not too sure; he’s still weighing his options to see what’s best for him. With Julie, he would be guaranteed Final Three. Hmm, editing is now making me think Chris might be changing his mind. Chris notes that he doesn’t trust any of the women, and none of them trust each other, and the oddest thing is they all seem to trust him. Oh, the irony!

It’s story time at the Immunity Challenge. Jeff Probst will tell them a story of a legendary local man, and they will need to go to six separate stations and answer questions based on the story. In one bag is black charms designating the wrong answer, in another white designating right. If they’re wrong, they need to go out and try a different station and come back later. If they get it right, they add the charm to their necklace. The first one with five charms on their necklace, wins.

The story is about a chief who, after he conquers all, sets peace as his first goal, and then is murdered by his own brother. We never see Scout answer one question right. We see Twila answer one, and is on her way to a second. Chris gets two right, and the foot race is between Eliza and Julie with Eliza winning immunity.

Eliza is quite happy, being guaranteed a spot in Final Four. She’s even happier thinking Chris will go with her and Julie to vote off Twila. He is then seen talking to Scout and Twila on the beach, making Eliza nervous. Twila is actually asking Chris to let her know if she is going. He assures her she is not. Okay, I am thinking Chris has just been snowing Eliza and Julie all along then. When he is done, Eliza fights with him to keep their Final Two deal. Twila walks up, and Eliza says they are done taking. Twila tells her she’s got freakin’ immunity; she doesn’t have anything to worry about; just chill out!

Chris is back to being in his quandary, promising everyone he is doing right by them, but not feeling safe with either choice, since he doesn’t trust any of them. He says they are thick as thieves, being women. He has promised both pairs he is solidly with them, and they are all guaranteed Final Three. Twila doubts Chris, saying people have murdered for less than a million, or sworn on their son apparently. Mark Burnett really has us guessing now. Where Chris seemed solidly with Twila and Scout before, he now seems solidly with Julie and Eliza as well.

At Tribal Council, Jeff Probst asks Twila if everybody is deserving of being in Final Five. When she replies she doesn’t know, he asks if she doesn’t know or won’t say. She finally says yes, some don’t belong here. Eliza pipes up and says it’s her, by the way, that Twila doesn’t feel deserves to be there. She says she believes they all belong; though, she doesn’t like them all. Chris says it’s the toughest vote he has cast yet, because he is caught in the middle.

Scout votes, and we see her vote for Julie, and she tells her to go back to her roots, whatever that means. She seems like a natural brunette to me. Twila and Julie vote silently, but we can be sure they weren’t voting for themselves. Eliza votes for Twila saying she’s been trying to get rid of her for thirty-six days. We don’t see Chris’s vote, but we hear him say that it’s really tough, but he has to play the game.

The votes are counted, and Julie and Twila are tied at two apiece. Jeff Probst reads the final vote, saying the fourteenth person voted out of Survivor: Vanuatu is Julie. Eliza is smirking away, waiting to hear Twila’s name, and when she hears him say Julie, she is so shocked. It’s priceless. Eliza is so smart, but can’t figure out people. Chris, not showing himself to be a Rhodes Scholar at challenges, and not having good balance, is smartest at manipulating people and balancing the two different sides.

Oh, the irony!

I welcome questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com.

You Don't Belong Here – ANTM 3, Episode 11

Panndyra

It’s down to the final four. Ann, Eva, Amanda and Yaya. Tonight’s episode got right into the competition with Tyra Mail. The girls made their way over to see Sawa, a Tokyo-based ‘style’ guru. She shows them Japanese Street Style. The girls are very put-off by it. It looks like Japanese anime on crack. It’s Salvation Army Meets “Sailor Moon”. Very, very strange to those of us in the US.

The ladies are then told to use the clothes rack that Sawa put together and make their own street style. Ann has trouble ‘cuz she’s so tall. Amanda tries to help her and even donates the shirt off her back.

The girls show off their style. Ann hears that she should ‘use more color.’ Eva notices that Ann was “pissed.” They’re still not on good terms, but I think it would be hard to miss the mark on Ann’s reaction.

Now for the challenge – – the ladies have 2 hours or so to pull together an outfit in the theme of “Babydoll Lolita” (Hey, that could be an interesting movie starring Hillary Duff, Lindsey Lohan and … Okay…need to go to a different place now. One that’s not so scary>>>)

The rules: they need to be at the Milk/Milkboy designer’s press room at 6pm. They have $200.00 US dollars worth of yen to buy an outfit and they can only go to 4 specific stores to buy their wares.

Amanda decides that ‘since she’s blind’ she’ll just go to one store, look around and go to the press room. It’s a great strategy because the other girls run around like chickens with their cute heads cut off. Ann and Eva run into each other by accident and are so thrilled. The angst of the past week or so dissipates so they can concentrate on the challenge at hand.

Yaya goes around looking for a kimono. She finds one and changes into her street style clothes. She ends up making it to the store front by 6pm, but …not to the pressroom. Amanda, Eva and Ann meet with Shingo and Hitomi, the designers.

They wonder why there are only 3 girls, not four. Yaya bursts in a few minutes later and they tell her to please leave. Lateness is not tolerated. She huffs off and tells the cameras that it’s a good thing because she gave one of the other girls a chance to win. (What a b***h! I hate such pridefulness….Someone needs to knock Miss Thang down a notch…)

Amanda looked cute, but was told she was too “old” to rock the street style. Meeee–ouch! Ann was asked if she had trouble finding clothes in her size. At 5 ft 11 inches tall she’s bigger than the average Japanese lady. She did.

Eva won the challenge. She told the cameras her strategy was to find clothes that looked really stupid together. She chose Ann to share the reward with her. The next day they go and eat breakfast with Jewelry-man…Toyohiko Mikimoto. After breakfast, they go to his high-end store and are treated like royalty. He gives them each the gift of a gorgeous pearl necklace. Ann and Eva are so excited.

Tyra Mail arrives and they can’t decide if the “FAST LANE” means the street or a runway. Ann hopes it’s the runway because that where she shines. It’s so not. When they get to the shoot, Jay Manuel teases Ann that she’s lucky to even be there especially after last week. Ann gets hurt and can’t handle the criticism. She almost crumbles.

The ladies are wearing anime style clothes and have to show themselves in motion while sitting stationary on a cool, motorcycle. The backdrop of their shoot — a busy Tokyo street.

Amanda looks like anime barbie. She’s cute. Yaya looked good, but had trouble nailing her poses. Eva didn’t bring the “Grr” “grr” and Ann was ‘dead and lifeless’ as usual.

The girls go back to their place and Tyra drops in with her mom, Carolyn London. Each has a two-on-two with Tyra and mom. She’s so sweet. A very special lady, Ms. London is…

Then, they all eat dinner with Tyra’s ex-sister-in-law and her children. Tyra’s brother was married to a Japanese lady and lived there for a while. Tyra says it’s nice to have family in Japan because being so far from home can be very lonely. The girls agree and are grateful that Tyra shared her family with them.

Next day…it’s judgment time. The girls get there and are administered a test by Shingo and Hitomi. They must use the rack of clothes provided to prepare their own version of “extreme street style” in 15 minutes.

Amanda was told to take off everything black and yellow. Then she was praised for her pic. Now, for Ann. Nole asks her to give him different looks, but they all look the same. Ann beings to cry. Hitomi says, “Sad. Beautiful” when Ann shows the emotion. The panel was mixed on Yaya’s look and Eva had to have her shorts altered for it to work.

Tyra served notice to all 4 of the remaining girls. She told them that none of them were presenting America’s Next Top Model and they better ‘up their game’.

She asked Amanda to tell her why they think this about her. Amanda said, in pictures I look like a model, but not in person. Tyra said, “Yes, that’s exactly it.”

Yaya was safe from elimination. Ann and Eva were the final two. The girls had just had a huge fight while waiting for the judges to deliberate. Ann seems to take out her frustrations on Eva. Anyway, in the end, Ann went home.

She hugged Yaya and Amanda, but not Eva. That was harsh. I felt sad for Eva, but…I’m sure she’ll prevail.

Next week is the finale. I wonder who’ll win.

—So, what do you think? Email me at panndyra@realityshack.com
Let me know who your pick is?

Don’t forget to check out my titillating reviews of Holiday Items at http://www.realityshack.com/giftguide. I pull no punches! (I sure hope Santa’s not watching!)

One Wedding and a Tarmac – Rebel Billionaire, Episode 5

[i]by atarus[/i]

Branson opens the episode blowing his cork….off of a champagne bottle, nearly killing everyone in the van. He says that having fun is the Virgin way of doing things. The next challenge is going to involve publicity, the teams have to put together a publicity stunt, and Branson says a publicity stunt puts you on the front page. They have 36 hours to pick a company and generate press for their event. Shawn, who is a CEO for his own LoveSac company, decides to be the team leader for the men. The women are off and running with ideas, like a G-String bonfire…nope. They decide to promote Erica as a company, and they are going to get a stranger to marry her. Yay? Candida has problems with the idea and causes a ruckus, and Nicole talks about “Candy’s tunnel vision.” Candida says pitching Erica as a business is an iffy idea.

The men decide they are going to put together a Jewish-Muslim soccer match, the LoveSac LoveFest. Shawn says that it is hippie-retro and that’s what the LoveSac corporation is all about. The women are running around, creating a website called MarryErica.com, and Candida finds a woman that will make them a dress, but she’s too far away for team leader Erica, and Candida whines about it. Erica says that finding a man is more important than a dress, and Candida whines and says that you can’t have a wedding without a good dress.

The men are having trouble, they can’t seem to get anybody because it’s a Sunday and there’s nobody to get in touch with. Meanwhile, the women find the men’s advertisement on the web, and Nicole is “unimpressed” with it. Steve gets the idea to get George W. Bush as the referree for the soccer game, he has celebrity phone numbers and it’s his job to get the celebrity guest that will attract the press. Back with the women, Candida says that the women have put together a hoaxy story, saying that the group of them are women who knew each other in high school and made a bet to reunite in 10 years and get Erica married if she wasn’t.

Steve is having trouble getting any celebrity, and his team is counting on him to do so. It’s getting late and the men are SOL. They can’t even get teams to play, which Gabriel says is a “train wreck.” I think it’s a bit more than a train wreck, buddy. This doesn’t stop Shawn from having a little fun though. He stops the team on Abbey Road to recreate the classic Beatles shot with the four guys. Some of the guys think Shawn is a bit wacko for doing so.

The women are now out looking for suitors. They’re handing out fliers for their own little Bachelorette competition. Several “cute” guys say they’ll be there, and the women are confident everything will go according to plan. Steve, for the men, finally finds a few Jewish kids to play soccer. Shawn is also confident that “nothing can go wrong at this point.” At this point, God presses the “Never say nothing can go wrong” button and the next morning, the teams find out that…bum bum BUUUUUM it’s raining.

The men get to their site, and lo and behold….no press. It’s pouring out, nobody’s showed up. The game turns into a Jewish/Muslim vs. American game with shoddy goalposts, but at least they look like their having fun. (You have to feel sorry for the men at this point, you really do.) The women, the catty catty infighting women, are having a bit of trouble themselves. They have the press! …….But no suitors. Not a single one of them has shown up. Guess Bachelorette won’t air well in Britain. *shrug* Eventually, though, the searching women find a nice redheaded man named James who agrees to go along with the stunt. They get together, Erica and James get married and smooch, and the women are pleased. The press is not happy press, in fact they are a PO’d press. They accuse the women of making “a mockery of marriage” and Erica tries to explain what they were doing but fails miserably.

Back at the mansion, the women (Nicole) barge in on the men, who are sleeping of all things, and Nicole starts bragging about how much press they got and how well they did. Steve and Michael agree that Nicole is obnoxious and Michael says “she makes me sick.” I have to agree with the guys on this one, I hope Nicole loses horribly very very soon.

Branson meets with the two teams. He says that the soccer match was a novel idea and a good cause. He says the wedding was a hoax, but it was fun. He says that the women have won, because they actually got press at their event. Shawn is asked to choose someone to go up against, and Shawn gives a long, drawn-out reason that’s a lot of crap and chooses Michael. Steve said it best when he said “That’s a load of crap, you’re just choosing who you think you have the best chance against.”

Shawn and Michael get in a threeseater car with Branson, and the car turns out to be the Aquatocar, the only one of its kind. Branson drives the car into the Thames River and it turns into a boat, just like a real life James Bond car. In the middle of the Thames, floating in the Aquatocar, Michael and Shawn have at it when Branson interrogates them before their challenge. Shawn says that Michael is a great team player but lacks leadership skills.

It’s time for the elimination challenge. The two men have to rappel down Britain’s tallest building. 700 feet. AND they have to choose ten letters (none of which are the same) and make a slogan for LoveSac, and hang it on their rappeling rope as they lower themselves down. And this all has to be done in 90 seconds. Wow. Branson, true to form, rappels down the building first. He says that “it’s getting a bit windy” and it should be interesting to see the two men go at it.

Shawn, looking down, says it’s “one of those absolutely lose your stomach kinda moments.” The two men have their slogan flags, they’re set, and they GO! The two start going down, but the going is rough because it’s hard to clip on the flags and the wind is really picking up. They both try and try and try, but neither make it to the bottom in 90 seconds. To add insult to injury, right as time expires, most of their flags topple off their ropes. At the bottom, Branson smiles and asks for their slogans since he didn’t see them. I don’t remember Michael’s, but Shawn’s was “CHIX LUV SAK” Ha ha.

It’s time for the elimination. Steve says that Shawn has shown weaknesses in the past few challenges. Erica says that Michael doesn’t have much depth or creativity. Heather says Shawn “rubs people like sandpaper.” Branson looks the two in the eye. He says Shawn took a big risk in being a leader, since this was a hard task. He says that Michael’s effort in the challenge really got the job done. He then hands them both tickets. In the plane, we wait to see who’s joining the crew, and it’s…………Shawn!! Shawn says that he’s been learning a lot from Richard. Gabriel is sad, because he says that there are some people left in the game that should have went before Michael did.

In Michael’s parting words, he also feels that others should have gone before him, but he left knowing more about himself. Branson says that Michael was a great team player, but he wasn’t sure he had the leadership skills, and he was looking for an outstanding person in a lot of areas.

Next week, they are going to Morocco. They have to decorate a hotel room, and the elimination challenge involves the two people searching for Richard…with Blackhawk helicopters. Oh, and they’re fighting between people too.

I will be very disappointed in Sir Richard if the new leader of Virgin isn’t Shawn, Steve, Gabriel, or Erica. In my opinion, Heather is too boring, Sara is to demure and quiet, Candida is too “not think-outside-the-box”ish, and Nicole is too much of a braggart. I just can’t imagine him allowing any of those four to run his company. My e-mail is atarus33@yahoo.com. Lemme know what you think.

captainD's Boot Prediction – Survivor Vanuatu, Episode 13

Welcome back to the final week of the Survivor season. Since we now know that we may have to wait until late March for Survivor 10 to begin, my advice is to enjoy “Survivor Week” while it’s here.

I would like to thank Aurora for taking my place last week as I dealt with a family emergency. She did a great job and thankfully got everything right. Now I am back and ready for action one more time this year.

With Ami’s boot Thursday, Eliza takes her position as the most hated person remaining on the island. Although she seems to only be a loudmouth, Eliza can be very strategic and may be a big challenge threat as we near the end of the game. The ultimate reward challenge offers two castaways the chance to see a live active volcano. After observing the commercials it appears that Julie will win. The immunity challenge will test our contestants memory skills. Eliza should be the favorite. The two people being hyped as possible targets are Scout and Julie. Anyone who has been watching the show has to know that the 5’th jury member will be … JULIE.

I will see you Saturday for this years final predictions!

Questions? Comments? E-mail me at captainDs5@yahoo.com

Wake Up, BooBoo! – The Amazing Race 6, Episode 4

by LauraBelle

All single women could learn a lesson from Rebecca – there are mama’s boys, and there are mama’s BOYS! Come to think of it, mothers could learn a lesson as well. Forget about not letting your babies grow up to be cowboys, don’t let them grow up to be Adams with silly sprigs of hair springing from their head.

Hayden and Aaron are the first to leave the pit stop in Stockholm at 2:04 AM. They will need to find their way to the top of Stockholm’s Town Hall Tower. Following right behind them, or rather with them directly are Kris and Jon. The four of them had actually all arrived at the pit stop within seconds of each other. Together they search for the tower, and are instead sent to City Hall by a local, which, it appears, is very close to where there are supposed to be. The sign says City Hall doesn’t open until ten AM, so the four check into the nearby Sheraton Hotel.

Gus and Hera leave next, with Gus saying they are reaching an understanding together, that if you’re going to lead, lead; if not, don’t bother the other one. Jon and Victoria leave in third place, and Victoria says at this part of the race, at times they feel like the want to kill each other, then they’re okay, then they want to kill each other, then they’re okay, etc. These two teams make the same mistakes as the first two teams, and find their way to a hotel, believing they have to wait until ten AM.

With those first four teams asleep in their hotel, Adam and Rebecca leave at 5:37am. Rebecca admits that when she met Adam, not only was he still living at home with his parents, his mother was still clipping his toenails. I don’t blame Adam here, I blame dear ole mom. At what point do you enjoy picking up your adult son’s feet and clipping his toenails? I am thankful my son picked up the clippers and did it on his own two years ago at the age of nine.

Freddy and Kendra leave next. She says he is beer and dirt; she’s champagne and flowers. As they and Adam and Rebecca arrive at the correct entrance to the tower, they wonder what happened to the first four teams as they find they are the first to pick up clues. In a moment that is surprising as it is not the only time Jonathon is peaceful during this episode, Victoria walks over to him in the hotel, and says, “Wake up, BooBoo …” The four teams at the hotel look out their windows, and seeing people in the tower, they realize their mistakes, and hurriedly rush to get ready and out there climbing the tower.

Reading the next clue, Adam and Rebecca, and Freddy and Kendra find they need to fly to Dakor, Senegal in Africa. Their next clue will be right outside the airport in Dakor. Freddy and Kendra are fighting over money in the taxi. She can’t figure out why he won’t spend forty dollars on a hotel, but will spend fifty dollars on a cab ride. Why is it only the teams in a romance with each other fight over money?

Lori and Bolo are just leaving the pit stop, and he feels the race is bringing them closer, and Don and Mary Jean leave shortly after. Don remarks that they got bloody in Round Three, but the fight isn’t over as they prepare for Round Four.

As all the teams get to the airport, they find there is only one flight with a stop in Paris that will take them to Dakor today. Jonathon and Victoria choose a separate first flight, but will connect up with the others in Paris. He wants to make the others wonder if they missed the flight or are ahead, when not seen on the first plane.

All eight teams rush off the plane to get to their clue. They open a poem, and need to find the author’s name (Leopold Senghor) and his gravesite in a nearby cemetary (Bel Air). All the teams talk to locals, asking the name of the author and where he is buried. Jonathon enlists the help of a local to ride with them and act as interpreter and guide, as he feels it’s necessary for them. Oh, where is Charla when you need her?

Adam isn’t enjoying himself, and says that Africa sucks. Kendra doesn’t like the looks of the taxi, and calls it a jalopy. My son that can cut his own toenails thinks the taxi is just shy of being a Flintstones car. The driver then stops to put air in the tires. It should have been Don and Mary Jean’s taxi that put air in, as they are now on the side of the road with a flat. It takes Don and the driver to hoist the car up without a jack while Mary Jean fixes the flat. Invoking memories of Laugh-In and dating himself and me, since I recognized the reference, Don says once again they were dealt the Fickle Finger of Fate, and it kept diddling them.

As their taxi arrives at Bel Air Cemetery, the smell makes Kendra ask if they are driving through sewage. She and Freddy have the driver following them around, asking for more money, which Freddy doesn’t feel he should pay, as it took longer while the driver had filled up their tires with air. Owning the complainer label this episode, Kendra says she feels like they’re in the ghettos of Africa.

All of this just to find the cemetery is closed until 7:30 am. Once inside the cemetery the next morning, Lori and Bolo are the first to find the clue in a basket next to the author’s gravesite. They will now travel to Kayar Fishing Village and look for the carpentry shop among all the storefronts. Lori and Bolo find themselves arguing over who has the most attitude, while Don and Mary Jean are enjoying the taxi ride, saying there’s a certain level of poverty there, yet the colors are dazzling, the children smiling and they find it all fascinating.

Adam and Rebecca are the first to arrive at Kayar, and find a Detour. They need to decide between Stack ‘Em Up and Pull ‘Em Up. In Stack ‘Em Up, the teams will need to carry baskets of fish to a stacking table where they will need to stack the fish on the table, positioning them correctly. Once a worker there declares it okay, they will move on to the next clue. In Pull ‘Em Up, the teams will board fishing boats and they will catch four fish with authentic fishing gear.

Gus and Hera and Don and Mary Jean are the only teams to choose Pull ‘Em Up. While getting his first basket of fish, Jonathon has his second peaceful moment of this leg, and shares his candy with the local children. It appears he has a soft spot for kids, and he has already picked out names with Victoria for their future children. While very endearing, I only see him verbally abusing them. Freddy has the taxi driver chasing him around asking for his $10, conjuring up memories of the paper delivery boy in the move Better Off Dead.

Don gets seasick, as does Hera who says she will never fish again. After they are on the water for quite some time, and still haven’t caught all their fish, I think I would have chosen to stack the fish. With fishing, you never know what luck you will have. Jonathon and Victoria are the first to finish stacking the fish, and find they will now travel to Loc Rose, a lake that is actually pink This is a Road Block, and one member of each team will harvest enough sand from the bottom of the lake to fill a twenty-five gallon basket.

Kendra, arriving at Loc Rose, wonders why the lake is pink, asking if it’s blood that is making it that color. Jon is busying ogling his partner Kris in the water, and Lori carries the heavy basket of wet salt on her head. Adam complains the salt water is burning his eyes, and says he can’t see. Seems he needed those sunglasses after all.

Jonathon and Victoria are the first to finish, and their clue brings them to Ile de Gorée, where they will ferry across the lake and walk through the streets to find what was once a prison for three-hundred years, but is now a tourist attraction. This will be the next pit stop.

Gus and Hera finally catch their fourth fish, and Don is still puking. He and Mary Jean catch their fourth fish as well, with Mary Jean noting every time Don puked, she caught another fish. Back at Loc Rose, Bolo notes watching the others carry the salt, that Lori is stronger than Adam. In the end, all the women there beat Adam.

The leaders who have already found their salt get caught in a traffic jam, and Adam finally finishes. He states the obvious and says apparently he is physically weak. Jonathon and Victoria’s bags are locked in the trunk of their cab, and the driver can’t get it open, as they miss the first ferry to the old prison carrying Kris and Jon. They catch the next one along with Lori and Bolo, Hayden and Aaron, Freddy and Kendra, and Aaron and Rebecca.

While onboard the second ferry, Adam tells Rebecca he feels she was being unsupportive back at Loc Rose. For her part, she says she doesn’t want to babysit her girlfriend anymore. Proving his immaturity, he offers to jump off the boat. Proving his maturity, Don weeps at Loc Rose as he is too ill to carry the salt, and Mary Jean must do it all on her own. Gus and Hera have finished, and Mary Jean keeps hustling. As he cries, Don says Mary Jean is one helluva woman. She eventually finishes to the applause of all the locals.

As the second ferry arrives, Jonathon and Victoria come in second, Lori and Bolo third, Hayden and Aaron fourth, Freddy and Kendra fifth, and Adam and Rebecca sixth. The third ferry takes off carrying Gus and Hera, but Don and Mary Jean just miss it, as Mary Jean’s shouts out “son-of-a-bitch!” Gus and Hera of course take seventh, while Don and Mary Jean take last place, but are happy to hear Phil say this is a non-elimination round, and they are still in the race, but need to give up all remaining cash at this point, and will endure the next leg of the race without being given any cash.

I am so glad Don and Mary Jean came in finding it to be a non-elimination round. That Fickle Finger of Fate keeps diddling them, but they keep coming back around. I wonder if they have clipped the nail on that finger, or if they are waiting for Mommy to do it.

I welcome questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com.

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Good News and Bad News – The Swan 2, Episode 7


by aurora

This week our two ducklings (who I’d never call ‘ugly’) are Sylvia and Marsha. Both have self-esteem problems, but for very different reasons.

Before we get into the details though, I have to make a confession. I can hardly pay attention to any of the opening sequences because of host Amanda Byram’s low-cut dresses. I’m a woman for goodness sake, and I can’t stop staring at this girl’s cleavage. What’s up with that?

Sylvia was deserted by her father at a young age, and went on to marry her high school sweetheart. After getting pregnant and losing the baby, her husband ‘changed’ and left her. She hates her ears and her body, and compares herself to her thin and attractive sisters.

Sylvia’s treatment will include:

Cheek and chin implants
Nose job
Fat transfer to face
Mole removal
Ear surgery
Brow lift
Liposuction in 5 places

Standard dental work (veneers, bleaching)
Braces on her lower teeth

The usual 1200 calorie diet and gym workouts, along with therapy

Marsha wants to be invisible. She goes to college and says that she’s not at all social there. She has some masculine features that make her very uncomfortable, the main one being a need to shave her chin every day due to coarse, dark hair growing there. She’s been asked if she was a man or a woman, which of course was mortifying.

Marsha’s treatment will include:

Nose job
Brow lift
Fat removal from her face
Lip augmentation
Eyelid reshaping

Liposuction in about 6 different places
Breast augmentation

Dental work (bleaching, cleaning, veneers)

1200 calorie diet, hitting the gym, therapy to build confidence

Marsha undergoes laser hair removal first, and the doctor says that she is an extreme case. She will have to complete 5-6 treatments altogether for the treatment to be permanent.

Both women go through their surgery with no ill effects. They’re both upbeat afterwards, giving thumbs-up and saying they can’t wait for this to be finished. Marsha also gets Lasik eye surgery.

In therapy, Sylvia does a role-playing exercise to rid herself of her disappointment in her father, and works on her trust issues with men. Marsha works, of course, on her self-esteem.

While she’s healing from surgery, Sylvia gets a surprise package from her boyfriend Mike. He’s sent a video tape of himself, asking her to marry him, and a small box containing a beautiful engagement ring. Sylvia is happy, but doubtful. She tells Nely that this is forever, and she doesn’t completely trust him yet.

With the good comes the bad of course, and later Sylvia gets a visit from one of the show’s producers, telling her that Mike has been in a car accident. She rushes to call him and worries that he might be terribly hurt. He’s okay, even though the car is totalled and he’s quite shaken. He tells her he wishes she was there with him, and Sylvia quite obviously feels guilty. She says that he’ll be fine though, and she’s sticking it out with the program.

Marsha, who has never been in a gym before, is having trouble keeping up with the workouts. She’s tired and discouraged. Rachel, the winner of the first Swan pageant, arrives for a little pep talk with Marsha. They show photos of Marsha and Rachel pre-surgery, and they look remarkably similar in size and shape. Marsha feels re-energized and has new enthusiasm for the gym.

At the reveal, I was pleased to see that there were no platinum blondes heading in to see themselves in the mirror for the first time. Marsha, who very well could have been wearing her own hair (that’s a switch), came out first, and boy did she look good! The dress was a bit strange and she was awkward in the heels, but the transformation was something to behold. She was very, very happy with the changes and said that she just wanted to go out.

Sylvia also looked great, but admittedly she didn’t have such a range of transformation since she looked pretty good to start with. She’s upbeat and eager to see her new self, and when she does she can’t believe it. She says that they should have put her hair up, because her ‘new’ ears are gorgeous.

Marsha was the lucky one to move on to the pageant, while Sylvia was reunited with Mike (she’s wearing the engagement ring, by the way) and her sisters. They’re all blown away by the new Sylvia.

Next week the final pageant spot will be filled by either Amy or Dore, women who will either have trouble staying with the program, get bad news while there, or discover some life-changing thing about themselves. Or all of the above.

Opinions, questions, comments? Send ’em along to carrie@realityshack.com.

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Interview with Kim of Starting Over

by LauraBelle

RS: What advice do you have for people that would like to heal their past relationships?

Kim: You have to be ready to get real. You have to give up old thought patterns. You have to be ready to let the past go. It is all you!

RS: Were you and your other roommates ever enlightened to all of the reasons Deborah left the show, or did you never find out about her pregnancy until after you were off the show?

Kim: We got on a plane to come to Denver, S.O. was on all the TVs. It was the episode about Deborah being P.G. OMG. I almost hit the floor. I was so shocked. I had no idea. She told me she was going through menopause and hadn’t had sex in 6 years.

RS: A big deal was made during the show of your attachment to your Louis Vuitton bag. After your talk with Kelly, where she wished you weren’t so materialistic, did you come to see it differently? Do you still carry it?

Kim: “It’s just a purse people.” I consider materalistic: someone who puts material things before other people. My husband and I work hard, and it was the first L.V. I bought. My husband and I give a lot of time and money away. I was taught to work hard, put your best foot forward, dress for success. If I want a purse so what. I was upset about the portrayal of the purse. We all carried a purse. Another girl in the house has a L.V. and no one has said anything. They just showed mine all the time. I think I hid behind things so as to not show my true self. I do still have my Louis. I might auction it off for charity.

RS: What type of a future relationship do you think you will have with the other women in the sisterhood – Towanda, Jennifer and Iyanla?

Kim: My relationship with T. and Jennifer is very strong. We are close, and talk several times a day.

RS: We loved the episodes where we were shown your maternal side. What do you feel was your most maternal moment on the show?

Kim: My most maternal moment was sitting with Jennifer while she was talking to her dad. She really needed me then. I am still maternal with her today.

RS: When you had entered the Starting Over house the first day, were you assuming you would be graduating by the time of your planned Mediterranean cruise? And why was this not mentioned until just before the trip to see Kelly?

Kim: I told the casting dept. before I ever came on the show that I had a cruise planned. “Iyanla never knew.” There was a miscommunication between casting and production. They did go back and find that I had talked about the cruise all along. I did not get it in writing, and I should have not been so trusting. I was always going to see my sister, but I was prepared not to come back and graduate. We did not know we were going to Denver until a few days before we left … choosing myself was hard. I felt selfish.

RS: What was the final result of the planned cruise? Did Dave end up going alone, taking someone else, or did you end up graduating by the start of the cruise? That would have been an awesome graduation gift to yourself, and a great way to celebrate!

Kim: Dave was upset because he was with me when we talked about the cruise. He did not know I was coming until he got to Europe. I was able to catch up with him in Monte Carlo. S.O. gave me a ticket for graduation to meet him in Spain. We had a great time.

RS: I have learned a lot about myself through watching the women on Starting Over. Through your struggles, Kim, I have learned it’s okay for me to drive the kids to school without a full face of makeup, and that it only matters what I think of myself, not what others might think. I have also learned that failed relationships do not make me a *bad* person. Can you tell us what you have learned from each of your other housemates and life coaches while in Starting Over?

Kim: I always go around without make-up and sweats I always have … I feel my problem was: I never told people how I really felt. I kept it inside and then I would blow up. I was always too afraid to tell people my honest feelings. Iyanla told me this is as bad as lying. People can’t read my mind. My feeling bad about myself came about when I was young. I always thought my parents’ divorce was my fault. I was left on my own. I had to raise not only myself but my brother and sister. I had alot of bad things happen to me in my childhood, When my mom remarried, I acted out. This also made me feel bad. I learned from the coaches that you have to love yourself; it seems so cliche. You also have to take responsibility for your own feelings and actions. I also needed to lay my story down. I had to get rid of the victim mentality. I learned from the others that everyone has things that they’ve done that they’re not proud of. This does not make a person bad.The things that I did were not unforgivable. I had to forgive myself. I also learned to be vulnerable. I needed to realize that choosing myself does not mean I’m selfish. I learned from everyone that I need to set boundaries with others in relationships. I let people treat me badly because I was afraid I would be abandoned! I would not set boundaries; I did not tell them how I felt I would hold it in. I would let things build up and let others treat me badly. This did not work. Today I am weeding out some friends and working hard on those relationships that are important to me. I am also taking charge of my own life and not letting others control how I feel about myself. I left decisions about my life to others. I am happier today and my relationships are much more authentic. This is because I am more my true authentic self. Iyanla also helped me take my faith to a deeper level. I am so grateful I was on the show.

Thank you, Kim, for taking the time to answer these questions. It has been a pleasure to watch you in the Starting Over house, and we hope for only the best for you and Kelly in your struggles to recreate your relationship.

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Sell The Crap Out Of This Crap! – My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, Episode 4

by LauraBelle

As is the point of the whole My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, actor William August sets out to make fun of everything, from the nine contestants left on the show, to the world of big business, to the billionaire he purports to be, N. Paul Todd. By the end of the show, no one has learned anything they thought they would, and are only more embarrassed and confused.

After Elli had been let go, Whitney walks into to the temporary home she shares with the other eight contestants. Elli had promised the others if she won, she would walk in the door wearing Whitney’s frog costume. Knowing this, Whitney walks in wearing the suit, says nothing, and allows the others to believe she is Elli. The men don’t seem to care who walks in the door, as the only thing holding importance to them is that the women’s team is down yet one more person.

Oddly, there is no Executive Privilege this episode, and a phone call is received by the contestants with news that limos will be sent to pick them all up that evening. They are taken to Wolf’s Flea Market.

Inside, being met by N. Paul Todd, they are told that it’s time for a shakeup. He is bored with the whole men vs. women theme behind the two teams, and is noting at the same time that some of the team members are prettier than others N. Paul Todd will switch the teams at this point, aided by his faithful assistant, David, known for having quite a hankering for men. Todd says his goal is to have an equal number of attractive and non-attractive people on each team. As he moves them around like chess pieces, they are left to wonder who is being considered a king or queen, when in actuality, they are only pawns.

The teams now set, they are informed of their next challenge. They will be selling four bogus items, things that no one is their right mind would buy. They will be selling bottled air, a spray that makes foods lower in carbs, re-usable toilet paper, and ecologically safe tampons. N. Paul Todd peppers his talk with the insertion of the word crap wherever possible, and tells them their missions is to, “Sell the crap out of the this crap.”

Returning home that night, these wannabe business execs find boxes of these bogus items to get close and personal with, in order to better sell them the following day. As Rob is saying he doesn’t know if he can sell this “crap,” the others say there’s a sucker born every day. Rob begins referring to his mentor as F. Paul Todd.

The next day, not finding it easy to sell the ecologically safe tampons made of things like leaves, Tonia tells people they kill off odors, while most begin to tell their potential customers that they will increase a woman’s libido. Not coincidentally they are sold to mostly men. Trying to sell the reusable toilet paper, Whitney comes up with the character of Heather Simpson, telling people she is the sister of Jessica, which no one seems to question.

The next item up for sale is the bottled air. The contestants find it quite easy to lie and tell people it’s like a multi-vitamin that has our essential nutrients in it that our systems need. The men on Femron find it even easier to act as pimps, and sell the sex appeal of Whitney and Annette on their team. Whitney in a a tight t-shirt, even does jumping jacks to a make a sale. The last item up is the low-carb spray. Damian wants so badly to make a sale, and begins jumping around hawking it. The others on his Concad team feed of his intensity, and begin to make sales as well. Whitney and Annette sink lower, and begin to disrobe for their sales. A last ditch effort, when told a man will buy six, Whitney pleads with him to buy the remainder of her inventory of eighteen, which he does.

Everyone returns to the warehouse part of the flea market to determine the winner. N. Paul Todd makes a flippant remark that he doesn’t know why it’s hard to concentrate, obviously referring to scantilly clad Whitney and Annette. Jaime and his Concad team find with a total profit of four-hundred and thirty-nine dollars, they have lost to Whitney’s team with a profit of six-hundred and fifty-three dollars. The winners will go to a high end restaurant in Chicago for dinner, while the losers will dine in an abandoned aqueduct, with William August noting the purpose of this is to make the losers feel punished. As Todd, he also tells the losers he has tired of his catchphrase of, “Get the hell out of my office,” and between now and their board meeting, they will need to come up with a new catchphrase and hand gesture for him.

The winning Femron team feasts at the high caliber restaurant, reveling in their huge win. Meanwhile, losing Concad is dining on bologna sandwiches, wearing hard hats with stuff dripping on their heads underneath the aqueduct. They feel it’s quite unfair since they were beat by one last minute huge sale.

Night thirteen finds Concad in N. Paul Todd’s boardroom, finding out who will be let go next. Team boss, David, still feels his team played the best game and was beaten in the end by that one large sale. Tonia feels Femron got by relying on the attractiveness of the women, but adds she hasn’t stooped to that level, as it’s not her style. Non-politically correct N. Paul Todd tells her he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what it takes, if mother nature gives you breasts instead of brains, you have to use them.

N. Paul Todd then returns to asking them each what their choice for his new catchphrase and gesture should be. David has come up with “You’re gone!” with a thumb slitting the throat, and Kerry has come up with, “Ding Dong, the door is for you.” Damian resurrects a relationship breakup as his choice is, “It’s not me, it’s you.” with a clap. Tonia’s is a simple, “You’re dismissed,” with a little gun action, and Robert likes, “Hit the street, Kid.” while gesturing outside.

David now need to name his two firing nominess, and chooses Kerry and Tonia. Tonia because she has a lot of heart, but doesn’t produce, and Kerry because her creativity isn’t as strong. Asked by Todd if the guys are sticking together, David says no. Tonia disagrees, to which Jamie says, “Welcome to Corporate America, Lady. Don’t let your head hit the glass ceiling on the way out.” N. Paul Todd turns completely around in his chair, not facing them, and says, “Who cares?” Kerry speaks up and says, “I care. I one hundred percent want to work for you.” He replies, “So what?” Tonia speaks this time, and talks of that attitude not putting a roof over people’s heads, and not making people’s needs come true.

N. Paul Todd meets with his adviser on who to let go. Returning to the board room, his assistant David asks who, and Todd tells him he’s not going to give him a hint. As Kerry and Tonia are called back in the room from the reception area, Todd tells them he has good and bad news. The good news is that he has chosen one of their catchphrases, and the bad news is he will be using it on one of them. He says in another life they could be friends, but in this ilfe he is a billionaire, and his friends are presidents, dignitaries and kings. He looks at Tonia and says, it’s nothing person, but “You’re dismissed.” adding her little gun action afterwards, using her own catchphrase and gesture on her. She thanks him and leaves, leaving Kerry the new boss of Concad. As she leaves the building, Tonia says what she has learned is she is not interested in business.

The longer the show goes on, it seems the winners are those let go first. They weren’t as humiliated as the people are now becoming. How will Whitney feel to find she bared her body for a job that doesn’t even exist? Tonia is now abandoning her dream of a career in business because she believes she doesn’t want a part of that pretend world of N. Paul Todd. Yet, even as these lives are being ruined, it’s hard to stop watching it. William August makes it so delightful to watch him destroy these people. Drawing the obvious comparison to The Apprentice, it makes you wonder who loses more in the end, the people who were legitimately fired from a great opportunity, or those that are only being played with for our viewing pleasure.

I welcome questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com.

Interview With Norelle Van Herk of America’s Next Top Model 3


by aurora

Norelle took some fabulous pictures during her time on America’s Next Top Model. She’s been called a true Cinderella story by some of the other models, and no one has had a bad thing to say about her. Well, except for maybe Eva…

Hi Norelle! What inspired you to apply for the show, and how nerve-wracking was the selection process for you?

Well, modeling is something that I’ve always wanted to do. People at work were always telling me, “You should do that show! You should do that show!” So I looked it up online and the casting call was the next day.

It wasn’t too bad really. I stood in line for 12 hours to see someone, and they asked me to stay and I made a tape. Then I didn’t hear back for like a month or two. When they called me and said I’d made it to the semi-finals, I freaked!

When you found out that you had made it to the final fourteen, did anyone else stand out as stiff competition for you?

Definitely Ann because we’re very similar. We’re close to the same height, I have green eyes and brown hair, she has green eyes and brown hair; we just have the same physical qualities.

When you get Tyra Mail and find out you’ll be doing a photo-shoot, what goes through your mind?

I always got so nervous! You have no idea what to expect and everything happens so fast. You get there, then you’re suddenly doing makeup and getting ready, and then in the back of your mind you just really want to take a good picture.

After seeing the footage of what Eva actually said to Ann, do you think the resulting argument was blown out of proportion?

No, I don’t think it was blown out of proportion originally. It became a target conversation for everyone to jump in though, and then it got to be a bit too much. I think Ann was sticking up for me because Eva and I were super-close, and Ann was close with Eva as well. So she felt hurt and wondered if Eva would say things like that about her too. Ann had every right to be upset and speak her mind, but then it just became a target conversation with Yaya jumping in and everything.

I love Eva and I know she wouldn’t say anything to hurt me.

Did you get the chance to go shopping for Hello Kitty stuff in Tokyo?

I did get to go shopping a little bit! But where I went there wasn’t much Hello Kitty stuff, unfortunately. It was great though; they have a lot of cool stuff that you can’t get here. There were some great deals too, but it’s a little confusing with their money. I’d buy something and they’d be like, “That’s 400,000 Yen”. You just have no idea how much that is!

Nicole said in her interview that you were one of the only people who was edited the way you really are. Do you agree?

I think everybody was shown how they really were. I think it was very accurate. I was nervous to see how I’d be portrayed, but they did a great job and I’m happy with the editing. Nicole wasn’t shown too much which was a shame, but overall they did a great job.

How would you describe each of the remaining four girls?

Oh, that’s tough! I guess I’d say that Yaya is too prideful, Eva is too confident, Ann isn’t confident enough, and Amanda should concentrate more on being a model than on being blind.

Out of all the industry people you got to meet, who was your favourite and why?

Heatherette! No surprise there! They’re just such cute boys and amazing designers. Their shows are so outrageous and it was so much fun meeting them and being in their show.

What was the most important thing you learned about yourself during your experience with the show?

I learned that I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was. I have more confidence now because of that. I know that I can handle criticism and disappointment, and I can be away from my family and friends and still be strong.

I think I grew up a lot over the time I was there. I’m very kid-like, that’s just the way I am. I like to have fun and be happy, and I’m not at all about the drama. I like to think that everyone has good intentions, although I know that’s not always the case.

Are you still eager to get out there and work as a model?

I can’t wait! I want to do everything! Look out Kate Moss, here I come!

Are there any funny things that happened that didn’t make it on the show that you’d like to share?

One night I was so tired, and Ann and Eva were up talking and making noise. I told them to shut up so I could sleep, and it got quiet for about five minutes. Then they came over and dragged me out of bed by my feet, and we all just danced around. It was so much fun!

Then another night it was like 3am, and Ann got a phone call from a boy that she really liked. She gets out of bed and runs out to get the phone, and there were these curtains hanging around the door – she steps on the curtain and slips, and the curtain falls down on top of her. She was so excited to speak to this boy!

What advice do you have for anyone who is thinking of trying out for America’s Next Top Model?

I think every girl should try out! But … remember to try and stay out of the drama as much as possible. You’re there to be a model, not to be on television. There’s so much you can learn about the industry if you just concentrate on yourself and the advice you’re given.

Have fun, have a good time – I sure did! But pay attention to the criticism from the judges. It’s much more beneficial to concentrate on modeling instead of being a drama queen.

Thanks so much Norelle – I’m looking forward to seeing you grace the cover of fashion magazines in the future!

For sure!! Thanks!

Comments are welcome! Contact me at carrie@realityshack.com and share your thoughts.

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