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Author: Christina Marie
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Published: 03-10-2008
Read: 4212 times

Bare Ass Fairy Tales: Flavor Of Love 3, Episode 5

Once upon a time, a broke down tambourine man sought love


We have a tie in this week’s Comment of the Week Contest: Polomex and Aurora, take a collective bow. Polomex brought to our attention a personal tale of running into Flav at an airport—Flav was sportin a Hello Kitty suitcase. Aurora added, he must have some interesting run-ins with the metal detectors at the airport. I guess the viking hat isn't conducive to air travel though, huh? Ah, yes, Viking horns and Hello Kitty. Only in Flav’s world.

The Abreva gods continue to watch over the Nut House with no cold sores in sight. After elimination, Flav decides to molest Bunz. The other girls are jealous of course so while she’s with Flav, they hate on her ass. Flav tells Bunz that the other girls are hating her right now because she’s with him and she knows it. They mack it. Ew. Then they cuddle. Thankfully, without animal noises.

The next day, Sinceer bemoans the fact that all the other girls aside from Things 1&2 are there for reasons other than Flav. She decides to get Bee-Exx out of the house today. The girls meet Flav and Big Rick downstairs to find out that they will be in teams to write bed time stories. They have an hour to come up with something suitable.

The Teams:
Windy City Shy, Myammee, Bunz—I just realized, Shy is spelled correctly. What the heck happened there?

Sinceer, Seesinz, Hotlanta

Bee-Exx, Things 1&2 and Prancer

Sinceer makes fun of Seesinz’s ideas. Hotlanta tells Sinceer they can’t talk about boobs.

Bunz is going to be the narrator of her group. Shy interviews that if she loses, she’s going to fight someone. No surprise there. Myammee and Shy think that Bunz can’t narrate because she doesn’t enunciate well and she doesn’t have on a high-pitched kiddie voice.

Bee-Exx puts on a Native American outfit and there’s a huge trojan horse thing in the room, stomping away. What the?

Right before they all go downstairs, Shy, Myammee, and Bunz strip off their costumes and then put them on again for no apparent reason. Bunz interviews that the other girls rushed her and she didn’t have time to put on full bottoms. Does that mean panties? Bloomers? Knickers? Long johns? Now Shy will be the narrator, assumingly because she’s got on undies.

Flav brings out a group of little kids. He sits with them and asks them to listen to the stories so they can help him pick the best one. He’s really good with kids. He should have a show with him and kids instead of him and potential lovers.

Bee-Exx comes out to tell the story, “Flav’s Playhouse.” The horse comes out with the twins inside and the kids cheer. As Bee-Exx narrates, Prancer prances around. Prancer thinks Bee-Exx is too slow. We love the editors—they slow her voice down to half-tempo. It’s so great. Then it’s the end of the story and we cut to the footage of the kids chanting for the horse.

Seesinz comes out next and she instructs the kids to bang on some pots that she handed out. Hotlanta comes out in a mermaid suit, pretending to play with dolphins. Then Sinceer comes out as a pirate and Seesinz keeps calling her mean, which is really funny because she’s talking about Sinceer and not the pirate Sinceer is playing.

Shy comes out and asks the kids how they are. They don’t answer so she yells at them to be louder. Not even the kids like her. She uses a high-pitched dumb voice and tells the story about gum drops. Myammee comes out dressed as a fairy and gives out gumdrops. Then the wicked witch comes out, riding a broomstick that has peanut butter on it that’s supposed to be bad but that sounds pretty yummy. Bunz drops to the floor to disappear and oh. geez. ugh. uh...... MOMMY NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Apparently, the kids, and Flav, can see Bunz’s ass.

Flav asks the kids which story they like best. He asks about the horse story and we cut again to the footage of the kids chanting about horses. He asks them about the pots and pans story and a little girls says it was in the middle. He asks them about the third story with the wicked witch and they say that they saw the witches butt. And it’s obvious that someone told them to say it. Ooooh, and Big Rick is sitting in the middle of all the kids. Hahahhahaahaaaa.

Flav tells the girls what the kids thought and he announces that the kids were distracted by Bunz’s butt. She pulls the hat down over her eyes and the ladies all laugh. Flav announces that the first team with the horse won. In the other room, Shy and Myammee ask Bunz if she had panties on. She says that she did and it’s not her fault they lost. This all leads to a shouting match and Bunz storming up the stairs, camera following to see if we can glimpse her butt one more time. The fight continues in the kitchen when Bunz comes back down. She repeats that she had said she wanted to put full-coverage underwear on before. She then apologizes for yelling. They yell at her more because she doesn’t know how to apologize right.

Hotlanta tells Bunz to ignore them and brush it off. Shy and Myammee go outside and yell more at Bunz. Shy screams that Bunz didn’t apologize right. They keep yelling about how they lost. Bunz explains again that she had on a thong but not a full bottom. So basically, they could see her butt but not her hoo-ha. They tell her that she’s good for Flav to hit it but not more, and then they accuse her of blowing him the night before. The duo finally walk away but they’re still yelling.

Flav comes to see Bunz in her room a while later and she says that Shy and Myammee accused her of blowing him and they threatened to hit her. Flav is suprised at that. Shy and Myammee come in and tell Bunz that they don’t have beef with her. Bunz says that her feelings were hurt. Flav decides to be the mediator. He tells Shy and Myammee they owe her an apology because they don’t know how to talk to people to get the situation solved. Flav says that the blow job would never happen and Myammee denies saying it. Technically, they didn’t say it word for word but they did imply it. Flav takes himself out of the situation because now they have conflicting stories. Perhaps he should take a poll among all the girls.

Big Rick greets the girls the next day with a Flav-O-Gram. The women going on the date need to get ready to dance. Flav appears wearing a shiny blue flamenco shirt. They go to a salsa place and watch a professional dance couple dance as a live band plays.

The male dancer embraces Flav to teacher him the guy’s moves. Then the girl dancer teaches the girls. Flav stops so he can watch the girls swivel and swirl. He dances with the twins at the same time because they can’t do anything separately.

Afterwards, they eat. The twins call out Bee-Exx for not being honest about her modeling or being on television. Again. Here’s the thing—if she’s already in the entertainment circle, then she doesn’t need Flav to use him to be in the circle since she’s already there. Right? BX explains that she has a friend in the industry and Flav already knows this stuff. Plus, do you really go on Tastes Like Crazy to make your career go forward? Like a serious career, not like a career in reality television show spin-offs (ahem, NY).

They go home and Flav tells Big Rick to bring Windy Shy to him. She says that Bunz lied about what they said. Shy interviews: lying ass piggie liar stank ass piggie liar liar. Bunz comes in and explains that they said she was good for only blow jobs but didn’t say his name in the statement. She says that Myammee is the fakest girl in the house. Then BX comes in so Flav can ask if she needs to tell him about anything else—she tells him who she’s met like 50 and Ne-yo, and she can’t help that she knows these people. He asks if there’s anything else he needs to know and she insists that there’s nothing extra. There’s the details of exactly who she knows, but that’s all the same thing he already knows, you know?

Elimination Ceremony Time!!!
Flav starts off by telling them he was going to send two people home, but after his one on ones, he’s sending only one home after getting clarification

Seesinz gets the first clock The second one goes to Hotlanta. Third is Myammee who is all victorious. Shy gets the fourth clock. Things 1&2 get the next one. Prancer gets the next one. The next one goes to Sinceer.

Flav tells them that when he asks for information, he needs it to be accurate and factual. He says Bunz? She walks up to him. He says, I only called your name; I didn’t ask you to come get your clock. D’oh! So she giggles uncomfortably and she goes back to where she’d been standing. He says that she made a mistake in giving him inaccurate information.

Then he tells Bee-Exx to step up to him. He says that she clarified all the stuff that she’s involved with concerning stars but didn’t own up to anything further. He says that when she left, he went onto the internet. He pulls out a stack of print outs. He says she was on Oprah and she went out with Usher on a date. He tells her that her time is up. She post-interviews that she loves Oprah and Usher. She tells Flav that she’s not stressing. Bee-Exx/Twana says that if he’s not careful, the rest of the girls could kill him if they don’t kill each other first. Shy really could, you know.

Flav calls Bunz up last for her clock.

Flav toasts to Bee-Exx and then toasts to himself and all the girls call out his name because they’re all there for him. Supposedly.

Add to the nutbowl: Email me or chat in the forums. Onward!




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Poster Thread
hautumncs
Posted: 2008/3/10 12:23  Updated: 2008/3/10 12:23
Writer
Joined: 2006/3/27
From: Iowa
Posts: 785
 "Shy"
Actually, I think he named her "Shy" because she's from Chicago (Chi-town) so it really is spelled wrong since it should be "Chi".

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aurora
Posted: 2008/3/10 15:44  Updated: 2008/3/10 15:44
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From: The Ministry of Silly Walks
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 YaY
Comment of the week mention - woo! Go me!

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bryan695
Posted: 2009/7/14 7:49  Updated: 2009/7/14 7:49
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Hello. Check my page with top content: gumtree tips, Utube, youtube video

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jake558
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