Stars and Strippers, We Salute You: Rock of Love 2, Episode 7

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	Published: 03-04-2008
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Stars and Strippers, We Salute You: Rock of Love 2, Episode 7

Patriotic Boobage

Dear Bret:

I’ll make this short and sweet.

On a serious note, I applaud your efforts to entertain the troops. Whenever you wear your NYC hat or make us wave to the Armed Forces at Jones Beach, my eyes well up with admiration and awe. You do a noble deed.

I would further applaud your efforts if you didn’t call the two elderly women your friends. I’m pretty sure you just met them. They are spectacular women, really. I applaud them, too. Their service as U. S. O. entertainers for half a century ain’t too shabby.

I do applaud the date to Ed Hardey. Ed Harvey? Ed Hardy? Ed Really Expensive Place That I Can't Afford. Awesome shirts.

I don’t applaud your disapproval of Tuna the Love Tank. You weren’t there when she was trying to learn the dance steps. You weren’t there when the USO lady was yelling at her. The USO lady was like a boot camp sergeant. She was mean! All Tuna the Love Tank said was, You don’t have to yell at me. I was with her on that one. Then she went backstage and talked some shit to the girls about the mean lady because she was steamed. The girls used that against her. You fell for it. Sucker.

I semi-applaud the Dinner During Which The Girls Fall Apart. Ambre’s breaking point, Destiney’s cattiness, and Kristy Joe’s lunacy make for any perfect dinner party. Your comment that you’re staying out of it? Coward.

Saying good bye to Tuna the Love Tank? Hmm, I guess I applaud it. She could’ve been a good match for you, but you chose the USO lady over her. I applaud it because it’s one step closer to ending the season.

Don’t let all the applause go to your head.

Christina

** Got a P. S. for Bret? Email me.Chat in the forums.

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