Celebrity Rehab, Episode 6 – Jaimie “Who” Foxworth Engineers Some Airtime
It’s a bright and sunny day at the Pasadena Recovery Center and RT Shelley is once again trying to wake our lovely rehabbers up. A new Resident Tech Inez is trying to wake up Kinickie because apparently today he has to go to the dentist. As Governor/Ballerina Carey tries to comb through her birds nest, err, Jessica Simpson Secret hair, Kinickie is throwing a fit about not wanting to go to the dentist. He and Flavor Flav are going to have to battle for this year’s worst grammar: I’ll match Kinickie’s “Does You Dudes Know Anything” against Flav’s “For in Case you Didn’t Know” any day. RT Shelley doesn’t like the yelling and goes to straighten this out. Apparently, Kinickie’s good day out on the golf course did not mean he was going to smoothly sail into recovery. Somehow he thinks he got hit by a car yesterday rather than riding in a cart. RT Shelley feels the car didn’t hit him hard enough because he’s still yelling. RT Inez looks big enough to take Kinickie out and tells him she’s not taking his mess. He tells RT Shelley he’s going to leave and she ignores him.
Forrest Bob and Dr. Drew go to see about Kinickie and he complains that Crazytown Seth purposely rammed a cart into him and now his back hurts. Kinickie feels that he wants to unburden Dr. Drew by leaving. Dr. Drew says I want you to stay and Kinickie says Obukaybee.
Friends and family day is approaching and Governor/Ballerina Carey’s mother is coming and apparently our D List celebrities are actually Z listers, because as the Governor runs down the list of who’s here she doesn’t recognize anyone. Dr. Drew meanwhile is on a mission to “collect family members” and asks Jaimie “Who” Foxworth if her sisters are coming to see her. American Idol Jessica is trying to get a confirmation from Daddy Sierra and he’s hemming and hawing. She throws the guilt trip by asking if he wants her to come back home and start using again so he supposes he is going to come “if he has to” after asking for a first class airfare. I wonder how she would have recovered if he had have said sure come back home and start using.
Still the Hunter/Gatherer, Dr. Drew is still trying to collect family members. He asks Chyna if he can call her sister and she says “hell to the naw”. He asks if any family is coming and she says no. Dr. Drew is now concerned. In the evening on Day 11, it's “med” time and Kinickie is itching for his needle. Apparently, the Dr. is late and he only has had some Motrin so he’s “ret to go.” He calls Oxycontin Vickie and says that they have cut off his pain medication and he’s leaving. He wheels down the hallway on his way out the door. Everyone is trying to get him to stay. He calls them addicts and says he doesn’t want to hear from them. He gets into an argument with Jaimie “Who” Foxworth, when she, in a desperate attempt for air time calls him a coward. Kinickie’s retort? “You fucking porn star, you little hula!” I’m not quite sure what a hula is but she tells him she still loves him. Kinickie apologizes but screams at the camera guys to remove the camera; when they don’t he gets up out of his chair and the cameraman runs. Umm, I don’t know what kind of wimps are behind the camera for VHDumb, but to run from a guy who can’t pee standing up is kind of pathetic.
Dr. Drew is very exasperated that its 1:30 am and Kinickie wants to leave again. He feels they’ve turned him into a barking dog and that he’s an actor and he’s been a lot of characters. Dr. Drew feels that he’s coming up with excuses to leave. Dr. Drew is trying to get him to stay because he feels he’s on a mission for drugs. Kinickie is mumbling again and surrenders. Dr. Drew starts to complain again about how depleted he is and how he’s worn down. I’m starting to think Loveline was his peak. The next morning RT Shelley needs to pray some more before she wakes up Kinickie. After some deep breathing and yoga, she braves the great beyond that is Kinickie’s room. He greets her with smiles and freshly gelled hair.
Crazytown Seth is being interviewed by RT Shelley about his feelings about seeing his son and his estranged wife. His son is all kinds of adorable and looks like an angel but that still is no reason to name a child Halo. He introduces his family to the dysfunctional posse and I think it's inappropriate to drool at a father swimming with his son. Dr. Drew sits down one on one with the Crazytown Family. Crazytown Seth tells his wife he wants to stay sober and wants her to know he means it. I’m having trouble hearing him because he is hot. His wife is having a hard time believing him. She is unsure of whether she is going to come back. He looks devastated. She will not commit to coming back but she is not saying “no”.
RT Shelley is having a bad day, apparently Jaimie “Who” Foxworth is insisting that to come to group she must finish flat ironing her hair. They are engaged in a serious Mexican standoff and if I was RT Shelley I would not argue with a weed deprived black woman with a hot flat iron in her hand… but that’s just me. Maybe life as an RT has made her harder than I am. Apparently, if you follow all of the rules, you can slack on one and so JWF is adamant she look presentable for her family and that means investing in an hour for her hair. JWF continues to talk to someone in the mirror about the hair.
Brigitte’s boy toy, err, husband Mattie (again, this is the one who waited around while she circled the globe with Flavor Flav, Foofy Foofy, Mr. F) arrives to take her to the airport to meet her boys at the airport. Three of them have come over to visit. They think they’re coming for vacation but they are having a reverse intervention. Brigitte asks her youngest son if he speaks English or not and he said no. I don’t know how long it's been but I think every mother should know whether her child speaks English or not. During the limo ride over, she explains to them about rehab but has to use the English word because there is no word for Rehab in Italian which is different from George Bush’ thought that there is no word in French for entrepreneur. They are happy their over 6’ Mummy will not be drinking anymore
There are kisses galore as our rehabbers reconnect with each other. Greg Brady re-introduces himself to Brigitte because she doesn’t remember they were on The Surreal Life together. She blames the alcohol. RT Shelley and Jaimie “Who” Foxworth are still having issues and she decides to walk away “before she beats the bitch up”. RT Shelley goes to tattle. Some of the family members are missing and Dr. Drew is concerned (Chyna, Kinickie, and Crazytown Seth are missing peeps). Dr. Drew has invited a Psychologist to oversee Friends and Family Day. He borrows an event from Festivus and asks them to tell their addicted love ones what a disappointment and burden they’ve been. Wait, that’s Dr. Drew’s job. They’re supposed to say how difficult it's been living with them as an addict:
- First up is Jen, American Idol Jessica’s sister. She pauses for dramatics and after much prodding tells the story of inviting her to live with her and her two year old. Apparently, AI Jessica’s partying ways proved to be too much; AI Jessica regrets this.
- Brigitte’s sons speak In Italian and she translates. They’re sad she’s a drunk and are happy she’s not going to drink anymore. Brigitte looks the prettiest she’s been in a long time. Mattie tries to speak his feelings and Brigitte corrects his English. He calls her a liar and talks about her hiding bottles in her boots but he loves her anyway.
- Greg Brady decides to dish about his experiences with Chyna since she has no family there. Apparently, he was doing a show in Vegas for NYE and she joined his one man show interrupting his singing. He’s very angry she ruined his show. She looked at him like so and I’m kind of feeling the same way - everyone acts a plum fool on NYE. If you don’t believe me, take a look at my MySpace Pics or read my blog!!!
- Rude Rico Suave’s Baby Mama speaks on his shenanigans next. Apparently, when he’s high, he plays he loves me he loves me not. His heart is broken but he still seems kind of assholish but I’m a cynic.
- In walks Oxycontin Vickie in her rocker best. They have a one on one with “the team”. OC Vickie blames Kinickie for her addiction. She says she’s been clean since he’s been in there when Dr. Drew offers her a 12 step program. I guess because she’s not a celebrity she can’t come to this rehab. Kinickie reminds her she brought alcohol into the unit and she says he told her to in hopes they would admit her so he won’t be lonely. He says that was a joke. OC Vickie says she’s removed all of the drugs except alcohol. Dr. Drew says the alcohol has to go. Dr. Drew tells OC Vickie she has a problem. She doesn’t feel so and thinks they're dysfunctional. They recommend counseling and the Psychologist adopts Dr. Drew’s treatment protocol of tossing out bumper stickers.
- Governor/Ballerina Carey sits down with Mommy Carey. Governor Carey’s Mother has schizophrenia and some other issues resulting from her leap from a building. She blames herself for the Governor’s addiction but Dr. Drew says “bump that” she was an alcoholic before then but her recovery is because of her Mother’s suicide attempt. Governor Carey tells her mother why she’s in recovery and about her prayer. Dr. Drew looks amazed as they hug and it’s a love fest.
Apparently, simple acts of self service are important to recovery so Dr. Drew has arranged for the rehabbers to cook and serve a meal for their families at Bistro 45 which is normally a very nice restaurant. Governor Carey qualifies herself for the job by saying she worked at Hooters for five months so she’s good at serving food (insert dirty joke here). Governor Carey says she’d rather do porn than wait tables… yeah she’s on the way to a glowing recovery.
Brigitte is agitated and wants a double Jack Daniels. Apparently, Dr. Drew didn’t think his plan through as a fine dining restaurant has a well stocked alluring bar. Brigitte is very sad and wants to go back to the center. I never knew that slicing grape tomatoes could be so boring but it is because Kinickie is asleep on a cutting board with a chef’s knife in his hand. He wakes up in time for Dr. Drew’s speech about self service to open the dinner and surprisingly edible things appear on the plates. Everyone gives a speech including Brigitte who’s speech is in English so her kids look confused.
Next week, Dr. Drew puts his career on the line and takes his rabble rousers to Catalina Island. Haven’t the good folks of Catalina been through enough with the fires????
By the way, we’re in week seven and Jeff still has not been presented with his get well card from week 1. No wonder the guy is yo yo-ing back and forth.
|
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.
|
|
|
