Scott Baio is 46 & Pregnant, Episode 5 - Gettin' On The Ride
This week starts off with Scott & Renee partaking in a common pregnancy milestone, the hospital tour. In spite of Renee being 35 weeks along, Scott is of course the one feeling lightheaded & dizzy after looking in the nursery at the newborns. By the time they reach the birthing rooms, Scott needs to sit down. As the nurse goes to fetch Scott some water he apologizes for being a jerk. Renee shrugs it off. She knows what she signed on for, she assures him. It's no wonder Scott chose Renee to spend his life with, there's not another woman on earth with that much patience. As the hospital tour winds down they run into a couple who have had just had a baby. Scott asks the new daddy what it's like. He says it's fine, and Scott asks about taking a break for some golf. The guy says no, why would you want to play golf when you can be home with your family? Scott realizes this is a sentiment he has not yet reached. Is fatherhood some sort of cult that instantly changes you from wanting to play golf to only wanting to be with your family?
Scott's lack of emotional preparedness for the baby's arrival makes him question whether he's getting all he should out of the Daddies-to-Be class. Bill starts off this week's class by discussing sex during pregnancy. Everybody's got a different take on it. They move on to birthing pictures, that obviously disturb the future daddies. Heck, I've had two kids and I find birthing pictures disturbing. Bill begins pulling out another round of charts. This is the last straw for Scott, who stands up and explains that this is not him. He can't be this guy. He's been trying to do all the things Bill has said, but he still doesn't get what it all means. He's still freaking out. Promising to at least continue the to-do list, Scott walks out of the class.
In a state of emotional duress, Scott calls none other than Doc Ali. Scott meets up with Ali at a hotel, and begins to tell her about his fears & doubts. After showing her the to-do list, and admitting he walked out on the Daddies-to-Be class, Doc Ali explains that Scott's missing out on one of the best times of his life. Ali equates having a child to a roller coaster, which Scott admits he likes. He tells Ali, that he wants to get on the ride, he has his ticket, he just can't do it. Ali orders Scott to stand up and repeat out loud, get on the ride. Get on the ride (advice we could all remember form time to time). Before leaving, Scott is ordered by Doc Ali to add one more thing to the to-do list: to get on the ride.
The next day, Scott & the guys make a trip to Hollywood Park. Cooch & Jason question Scott about a name for the baby. Scott says they've got a few names, but he's having a small problem. He can't find a name that doesn't already belong to someone he's "been with." Funny, I don't find that hard to believe at all. The topic turns to Johnny V, who's been MIA since Vegas baby. Scott admits he's worried, especially after receiving a couple creepy text messages from Johnny V the night before. In the messages Johnny claims to be romancing some ladies. Scott knows that's not true, because Johnny's only pick up line is "Come meet my friend Scott Baio.' Since Scott hasn't seen Johnny, he knows Johnny hasn't hooked up with anyone.
The guys decide to check up on Johnny, and make sure all is well. Johnny's apartment is in Old Hollywood, in some dark alley. I'm surprised the camera crew even fit there. Johnny opens the door, revealing the most disgusting apartment in history. Instead of MTV cribs, it's more like MTV pigs! Cat food, garbage, dirty dishes everywhere. The place looks like it should be condemned. Scott confronts Johnny about the real issue, which is everyone is growing up except Johnny. Scott offers for him & Renee to help set Johnny up with a nice girl. Scott promises that he's going to help Johnny, so he adds him to the to-do list deciding if he's about to have a baby, maybe cleaning up after Johnny would be good practice.
The following morning finds Scott picking up Kalyn, Renee's daughter, who has come to stay with Scott & Renee. As the last time we saw Kalyn, she immediately begins interrogating Scott. Scott reminds us she's just like Renee. They share a duet with the radio before Scott drops her off at the house, and takes off with Renee for their new age birthing class. The birthing teacher asks the daddies to talk or sing to the bellies. After that they begin relaxation techniques, that include some yoga moves that get Scott feeling a little frisky. The teacher says that's great, because sex can help start labor. What put the baby in, can get the baby out. This is too much for Scott, who tries to steal some alone time with Renee, as soon as possible. Scott takes her to an old make out spot, the car wash. Ok, so this was never a make out point in my hood, but I never dated Scott Baio either. After kicking out the VH1 camera crew, the car disappears into the wash. When they reappear Renee is in labor...
At the hospital they settle in for a long night. The labor continues, and continues, and continues into the next day (Renee I feel your pain). Outside, Cooch & Jason are starting putting money on what time the baby will be born. Finally, Renee reaches the point where the doctors decide to perform an emergency C-section. Scott's fears of becoming a father suddenly turn to simple fear for Renee & the baby's safety. Everyone's safe in the end.
We see Bailey Baio's birth through a montage of still shots, as we hear the sounds of her being born in the background. Scott comes out of the room, a daddy. Scott then confesses all the doubts he had no longer mattered, once she was born. We see a still of Scott smiling following his daughters birth. Scott explains that that's him, finally gettin' on the ride.
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