Slutty Nurses, Very Theraputical: Flavor of Love 2, Episode 2
How do you spell crazy? F-L-A-V-E
As of this week, I am picking up where we left off with the I Love Nuts Comment of The Week Contest and beginning the Tastes Like Crazy Comment of The Week Contest. So be sure to comment on Tastes Like Crazy in the forums. I’m sure you have plenty to say. Plenty. This week’s winner goes to LuvMyShellToes who says she saw Peechee in the health-conscious cafe where she works and Peechee was yearning for some MickeyD’s. Thanks, Luv. Now on with the show.
We begin the morning with lots of beat up lookin gals. Too much partyin already. While some choose to work it out with situps, Sinceer is aching for a beer. Ah, hair of the dog. I don’t see how that works to be honest. I have a feeling it’s an old wive’s tale, the old wives being raging alcoholics. I cannot fault Sinceer because she was the gal who was atop the elephant. Then she says she drinks five times a day. She interviews that she’s not an alcoholic. Maybe she should stick to riding the elephant.
Big Rick calls the ladies downstairs so they can read their first Flav-O-Gram. The girls need to be nurses. They have to figure out a way to mend his broken heart. They all get nurse’s outfits and Windy City Shy starts doing kung-fu kicks for no reason. Reyna can’t find her black tube of perfume and asks everyone about it. Then she tells Tik that she didn’t lose it. She said it to be on everyone’s mind. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Dumb dumb dumb.
Oh, no he didn’t! Big Rick meets the ladies and he’s dressed like a doctor. Man, I love that guy. He tells them that his friend is in need of loving attention. Viking Flav says he needs to be soothed, moved, and grooved. That’s the rapper coming out. His gurney is all pimped out with fuzzy dice and golden statues. Big Rick pushes him to each private nurse room to get his treatment. In the process of moving him, Big Rick manages to lose control several times and let Flav’s gurney, with Flav on top, slam into some walls. Hil. Air. Eee. Us. I don’t care if it’s planned slapstick on the part of the producers; that’s still funny.
The first nurse is Myammee. Now before we go any further, let’s discuss Flav’s outfit. Forget healing his heart—he needs a fashion tune-up. He’s got on some weird wig. Or maybe his hair is flat ironed out. Either way, he needs to do something about that pronto. Then he’s wearing a stupid white pair of sunglasses and I can’t tell but they might be the ones with the horns on them. His hair is in the way to know for sure. Okay, now onto Myammee. She tells him she has big boobs and likes margaritas. Then she gives him a test to see if he was listening. He doesn’t remember the answers. To anything. He doesn’t even know her name. She whispers to him, Miami. He guesses, Chicago. He does, however, remember she likes margaritas and her bra size. She strips for him and he’s happy.
Windy City Shy whispers crazily about healing him and knocking out pain. She does some kung-fu kicks and then climbs on top of him. Do I hear a cuckoo clock going off? The next girl lets him suck a lemon out of her mouth. The next one who might be Grayvee just makes out with him. Thing 1 and Thing 2 let him play with body paint.
Sinceer gives him a teddy bear that has a leopard cape on it. On the cape is his name in rhinestones. His name? Spelled wrong. Hahahahahaaaaa. It says Flavor Flave. And everyone knows that Flav has no E at the end because Flav likes to misspell everything. She says that she made sure she was sober when she made it. Maybe she is better off drunk.
Seesinz gives Flav either a blanket or a huge sweatshirt with a clock on it. His name is on it. It’s spelled wrong. Hahahhahahhaaaaaa. It says Flava. Flav is like, this isn’t me—it’s another guy. HIL. AIR. EEE. US!!!!!!!
Flav rolls into Ice’s room saying that he needs to be cooled off. She gives him darks and shows him a dart board he should aim at. The board has a picture of New York on it. Flashback to NY being crazy. The editors, whom we love, add in some NY cackles when we end flashback. Flav his the mark right on. He says it’s very theraputical. Yes, theraputical. Then Ice kisses him.
Nurse El decides to give him a foot massage. Thankfully, she keeps his socks on. Flav has a thing about feet—he doesn’t like people touching his. Not in the same way he doesn’t like people touching his face. He must have the same problem I do—they tickles so much that it hurts. Yikes, yet another thing I have in common with Flavor Flav.
Tik gives Flav an old remedy to get rid of the blues—she uses color. A rainbow. She then wipes something on his finger. Flav likes her ass but not her remedy. Then St. Lewis gives him chips. Potato chips.
Reyna gives Flav a jester hat from Mardi Gras and some pom poms that he sits there shaking. She’s wearing a Mardi Gras mask and gives him a light up martini glass.
Finally, Flav rolls into Hotlanta’s room. She says Flavor Flav into his ear and then tells him when he was born. Then she gives him a box that has a plaque in the top of it that says something about his album from Public Enemy that was the best album in history. According to whom, I don’t know. On the bottom of the box is a magnifying globe clock thingie. She tells him that the next time he gives his heart out, he needs to give it to someone who will take care of it how it should be taken care of. That’s a cool gift. Maybe she really does like him. Maybe?
He chooses three winners. Myammee and Ice are first. They will go on a date with him together. He tells Hotlanta that her gift said something about his music and he appreciates that she appreciates him. So she’s going on a solo date.
Later at the house, Shy is talking. No surprise there. Bunz and Reyna overhear them say that Reyna is probably going home. Reyna tells the other girls that she will beat up any girl in the house. Thing 1 and Thing 2 see the separation of the house between the real and the fake. The two house factions confront each other.
Thing 1 and Thing 2 decide to call Reyna out. Reyna says she has nothing to say. That’s not what she said inside though. So they bicker now about nothing and Reyna doesn’t want to give her camera time. El calls her a P-U-S and won’t say the rest. Heehee. That rhymed.
Big Rick brings the ladies a Flav-O-Gram the next morning. Ice, Hotlanta, and Myammee are taking their relationship with Flav to new heights. The rest of them will have a special guest visit them at the house.
Flav tells Ice, Hotlanta, and Myammee that he calls himself Flav because there’s flavor in everything. Myammee asks him to spell it. Hahahahhaaaaa. Flav gets irked because he wants the girls to know something about him.
Back at the house, Big Rick introduces the ladies to Sheryl Lee Ralph. Really? She’s there? She tells the nutty girls that they’re all beautiful. Then we flash back to Seasons 1 and 2 to remember some fights and inappropriate behavior. SLR is a motivational speaker and Flav wants her to motivate them. SLR says that everyone deserves respect and your fingers don’t belong in the faces of others. She tells them that sisters need to keep it together.
On the date, Flav tells the girls that they’re all going sky diving. Hotlanta is afraid of heights. This is more than heights. This is jumping out of an airplane. They have a two-second training session and then jump into the plane. I don’t think that’s really enough training.
SLR, meanwhile, is asking the girls why they’re in the house. She says that some don’t have parents to check them. Shy tells them that her mom died from a scar. Then El says she lost both her parents. Seesinz says that differences don’t matter. Sinceer interviews, Fuck them, because she’s sentimental at heart.
Then when SLR leaves, the girls decide to play charades. They’re going to act out each other. That’s harmless. Heeeheeee. Shy acts like Grayvee and says she rides alligators. Grayvee gets upset because she rides cows, not alligators. One of them sits down on the coffee table and says, I’m NOT an alcoholic. They all guess Sinceer. Sinceer doesn’t think it’s funny and she calls the next girl a nobody. She obviously does not grasp the rules of charades. She has to guess a person. Not nobody. Apparently, she was trying to be Seesinz and no one thinks Sinceer is funny.
Ice, Myammee, and Hotlanta are freaked out in the airplane. Flav promises Hotlanta that he’ll keep her safe. He thinks she’s being down for her man. I think it’s kinda stupid. She’s worried about what will happen to her kids if something happens. Well, then don’t jump out of the plane. Is proving your love for a guy you don’t know worth dying and making your kids orphans? Not really.
Back at the house, the girls are screaming at each other. You ain’t nobody! You ain’t nobody! Now they’ve all lost focus of charades.
Sinceer bitches poolside about how everyone calls her a drunk. Then she says she needs a drink. Again, I don’t care if it’s creative editing—that’s comedy people.
Ice jumps out of a plane. Myammee jumps out of a plane. Hotlanta jumps out of a plane. Flav jumps out of a plane. Hotlanta says it was almost as awesome as having her children. Flav pulls the cord too early because he thinks the guy is telling him to and he’s so obviously not. They guy is like, that was too early. Because now they’re floating down to earth from ten thousand feet and they have to have a very long and awkward conversation. The girls wait and wait until he finally lands. He’s proud of them.
On the ride back, Flav tells the three girls he has to make the right decisions tonight. Ice tells him that a lot of the girls question Reyna’s intentions. Flav thinks Reyna could be fake. When they arrive at the house, the rest of the girls are standing on the stairs. They yell out, Do you know what time it is?!?!?! when they walk in. That’s cute.
Upstairs, Seesinz tells Flav that someone tried to knock her off her game. He tells him about Sinceer calling her a nobody. She says that Sinceer got in her face and she punched her. Really? I didn’t even see that. I guess I’m numb to it. Flav thinks Sinceer was setting her up to get Seesinz out. Seriously though, you don’t have to take the bait. Maybe she almost hit her. Or wanted to. Does it matter? Didn’t think so.
Elimination Ceremony Time!!!
Hotlanta gets the first clock. Next is Shy because his godson is recording records in Chicago. I don’t see the connection either. The next is for Things 1 and 2 followed by Bunz, Prancer, Grayvee, Myammee, Bee-Exx, Ice, Seesinz, and Sinceer.
Flav decides to change things up. He calls down El and Tik and says they have to leave him tonight. He can’t remember the other girl’s name. Oh, Karma. Oh, how I love Karma. Then he remembers St. Lewis needs to go, too.
El/Lisa says she’s a bit happy she’s leaving because the house was getting crazy. Isn’t she the one who wanted to be called Loco? Meaning crazy.
Tik/Courtney says she would’ve died for Flav. Or she would’ve killed him in his sleep. She doesn’t say that part, but you know she was thinking it.
St. Lewis thinks she didn’t step up enough. Flav eliminated her because he couldn’t remember her name.
Renya gets the last clock. He keeps her because she’s hot, despite the rumors that she’s fake.
He hands out champagne. The gather round their man. He toasts them. He yells out his own name. They repeat it. That’s about right.
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