Scott Baio is 46 & Pregnant, Episode 4 - Vegas Baby!
Warning: the number of Reservoir Dogs/Swingers token camera shots in the following episode may cause you to give up on this episode of Scott Baio all together and turn on the actual movies Reservoir Dogs or Swingers. You have been warned.
Renee is now 34 weeks pregnant and it's time to make her final trip to the doctor's before D-day. After a 3D ultrasound shows everything is fine, and Scott & Renee get a good look at little 9 pound baby Baio, Scott asks the doctor what an episiotomy is. There are two kinds of people reading this recap: people who know what an episiotomy is, and people who don't. Let's just say it's a medical procedure that's done during labor that I care not to think too much about. Thanks Scott for the reminder. Moving on.
Scott attends his Daddy-To-Be class where the topic is money (this being the single biggest cause of ulcers among daddies to be). Bill asks the future daddies to take a guess at what the average cost for a child age 0 to 17 is. The guesses range from $12,000 to $100,000. Oh, naive fools. If only having a child was that cheap. Bill bursts their bubble by giving them the actual average cost of a child age 0 to 17. $184,220 to $268,000 (Personally, I think even those numbers are generous, but that's just me). Bill also adds that if you want to include age 18 to 22 (college) you'd be adding anywhere from $20,000 to $150,000 to those original numbers. Scott adds "save money" to his to-do list. I guess those Happy Days & Charles In Charge residuals aren't going to cut it.
Scott hooks up with the guys for a game of miniature golf. He vents about his money woes, and tells them Renee is having her baby shower that following weekend. Johnny V suggests a "Man-Shower" in Vegas Baby (Note to Reader: After the movie Swingers came out a state law was passed in California, that Californians can no longer refer to Vegas as simply, Vegas. It MUST always be followed by baby. I'm not sure if this is practiced in other states, but in California it's taken very seriously).
Scott tells Johnny no, he has no money. The guys generously offer to help pitch in and pay for this "man-shower" in Vegas baby. Scott whines that he just got back from New York, and can't leave Renee again, especially for a "man-shower" in Vegas baby. Johnny tells Scott he wears the pants in the relationship and to tell Renee he's going. Scott explains that he took the pants off in this relationship over a year ago. After some hemming and hawing the guys talk Scott into agreeing to this "man-shower", his only problem now is telling Renee.
Back at casa Baio, Renee & Scott meet with the wedding coordinator. Scott explains that the wedding coordinator & Renee are like the same person for the following reasons. 1) They both love cake, 2) They both love to spend Scott's money, and 3) They both had crushes on Scott when they were in school. Funny, I think I fit that description. Not that I've ever spent Scott Baio's money, but I'm sure I'd be good at it if given a chance. Anyway, I digress.
Renee describes a simple but elegant sunset ceremony overlooking the lights of LA, with about 40-50 people. Scott immediately starts his "too much money" speech. The coordinator offers to take Scott & Renee flower shopping that weekend. Renee says she cant' because she's got her shower, but maybe Scott can. Oops, he forgot to tell her about the man-shower in Vegas baby. After dumping a cup of water over Scott (touche, Renee, touche) she gives him her blessing. Sort of.
The boys hit Vegas baby, where we meet Jason's brother, a lawyer, and another friend named Johnny Mato (a real life Joe Pesci in Casino). Both invited in case Johnny's man-shower goes bad. Which it does with a quickness. In spite of Johnny's assurance this won't actually cost Scott anything, he gets everyone to start raiding Scott's mini bar in his hotel room. Scott orders Johnny to fill up the little drink bottles with water and put them back in the mini-bar fridge.
It's time for the guys to suit up and head out to the fancy dinner Johnny has planned. I'm sorry, did I say fancy dinner? I meant flaky diner, where the guys dine on burgers and shakes. Scott complains that he can't believe he shaved his legs for this (ok, maybe he actually said he can't believe he put on slacks, but he's sounding like such a girl). Johnny apologizes for the not so fancy "man-shower" dinner, but assures everybody the private club they are going to next is going to be the best. I'm sure it would have been, had the place been open. The guys start chanting "man-shower sucks". I couldn't agree more.
With Johnny's plans a bust (surprise, surprise) they decide to do a little gambling. In his quest to save money, and getting awfully cranky about his uncomfortable wardrobe choice, Scott decides to hang at the bar instead of gambling. He gets a call from Renee, excited over all the gifts she's gotten, yet begins telling Scott about what they still have to buy. Scott continues drinking. When he's finally good and drunk enough, he talks Johnny Mato into giving him a $5,000 chip in exchange for his $10,000 Rolex. Which he loses after one play at the Roulette table.
After the $5,000 dollar loss, Scott and the guys are invited to hang in the VIP room of the same club Johnny couldn't get them into earlier. When the girls start flocking, Scott makes a few drunk threats to Johnny, then makes his way back to his room.
Before passing out, Scott calls Renee. They talk on the computer where they can both see each other, She lovingly compares it to the video of Hasselhoff drunk & eating the burger. Sweet. Scott says goodnight to her, and her belly. As much as I love to see the mature version of Scott, I have to admit, he was a little more fun when he was stupid & immature.
Speaking of stupid & immature, is there some reason Willie Ames (Scott's old buddy from Charles in Charge) wasn't invited to the man-shower? In fact, he hasn't been invited to any episode of the show. Did he wear out his welcome on VH1 after the whole celebrity fit club fiasco? Just asking...
|
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.
|
|
|
