Celebrity Rehab, Episode 5 –Wait 'til Daniel Baldwin’s Baby Mama Sees This!!!

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	Published: 02-11-2008
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Celebrity Rehab, Episode 5 –Wait 'til Daniel Baldwin’s Baby Mama Sees This!!!

We open again being reminded that Celebs love to party but many of them don't know how to stop.

It's the day after Less Successful Baldwin exited the premises. Someone has written Bad Morning in chalk on a blackboard which I haven't seen in a setting outside of a class room since dry erase boards became popular. Crazytown Seth is lamenting the crazy drama and RT Shelley is like, "Dude, get over it." RRS is trying to stay in tip top shape on the treadmill and RT Shelley is trying to waken a comforter-shielded creature she calls Sweetheart. AI Jessica is terribly cranky and sleepy after a night of no sleep but she's getting no sympathy from the much burdened Dr. Drew because he didn't get any sleep either.

AI Jessica felt LS Baldwin was a father figure because he was staying for her and now she feels "neglected and abandoned". Dr. Drew feels that LS Baldwin left under "suspicious and spurious" (dang that Pinsky has a vocab) circumstances and he's sad and concerned whether he'll stay sober.

RT Shelley comes into Dr. Drew's office for "the morning report" and she says that everyone is emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. Dr. Drew wonders if there is a little bit of a sigh of relief even though they've been through a lot emotionally.

We're five episodes in and finally the Chief Nurse gets a name and title. It's Sasha!!! Dr. Drew fills Comrade Sasha in on the night's activities. Shouldn't she have a report from the RT on duty? My mistake I thought this was a functioning recovery center. Apparently people have been tattling to Dr. Drew about LS Baldwin's departure but no one wants to share as a group they share in private. Dr. Drew gives an assessment of his charges:

AI Jessica is devastated

Kinickie is fragile and the previous night exhausted his ability to cope

Chyna is like peeling paint off a wall and he wants to get to the wood. There's all kinds of dirty innuendo I can come up with but I'll let it go

Governor Carey is mysterious. They know something is going on but they don't know and they want to pull her aside right away

No one else is worth mentioning (translation: low ratings for VHDumb)

Apparently a therapist will be joining the drug free crew today. Dr. Mitchell is a recovering porn star/adult industry person. I think I made a mistake - everyone is not getting therapy, just Governor Carey. RT Shelley is excited to see Dr. Mitchell because she's met her before. VHDumb has got to give RT Shelley a chance to tell her back-story because she sounds like she was a helluva partier before she became a Shepherd. Dr. Drew checks to make sure his Management team is on point with him and they break to go rally the troops.

AI Jessica is crying in a towel at the door of RRS and Crazytown Seth's room. They offer her a "cuddle". I guess every other female can come in their room as long as she wasn't a former porn star. Chyna, Brigitte and AI Jessica are welcome; Jaimie Who? Foxworth and Governor Carey are a no no. RRS cracks a joke but he's still an asshole.

It's time for Governor Carey's therapy session and we are introduced to Dr. Sharon Mitchell (Former Porn Star/Therapist). Dr. Mitchell still looks like a porn star except for her clothes. She needs some serious librarian type glasses to distract from the "pussy lip" collagen and the frozen forehead look. Governor Carey is feeling good and apparently this is the first time she's been sober for more than four days since she was 21. Let me say that again: since she was 21. I probably should tell you that this is only Day 8.

Dr. Alotta Vagina Lips tells Governor Carey that she's been clean since 1995 and there's nothing you can't accomplish when you're clean. I have to mention that Governor Carey is clad in short shorts, a humongous sweatshirt jacket and Nike Zooms. This is her version of fulfilling Dr. Drew's wish that she tone down her dress; there's definitely more clothing involved. Dr. Drew wants to cut to the chase so he not so subtly changes the subject from hopes, dreams, and change (Dr. Drew likes Obama!) to guilt, and Governor Carey starts to recount the events that are leading to Sidekick PictureMail Gate. She's is hesitant hoping that her revelations don't break up his marriage. Dr. Drew doesn't care if his marriage busts up or not.

She talks about how LS Baldwin talked of loving his wife but asked her questions about the porn industry and asked her to send him some pictures. Apparently he was texting her to go into the bathroom. We cut to night vision camera shots of LS Baldwin texting away when he should have been sleeping waiting for RT Shelley's early morning wake up call. Governor Carey has yet another breakthrough of understanding why her pornos were confiscated as she regales us with tales of LS Baldwin asking where he could procure her movies "on the outside".

Governor Carey says she feels guilty, and he pressured her into thinking that she drove him to think about using as he progressed from sex drive to feeling guilty about his wife to wanting to use. Dr. Drew commends her on her insight. He says that now she's showing Mary Ellen as opposed to yesterday she was behaving like Mary Carey. She continues to have Oh Wow moments and Dr. Drew challenges her to deal with the other men in her life who equate her with sex, drugs, and alcohol.

Out on the patio, Governor Carey commends Kinickie for seeing LS Baldwin's true colors. He asks her how she feels about all the antics and she waxes philosophical that LS Daniel likes to be the center of attention (takes one to know one). She felt he got jealous if the girls paid more attention to other guys than him. Then she recounts Sidekick PictureMail Gate to Kinickie and we flash back to the day on the patio when LS Baldwin told Governor Carey to erase his text messages right in front of RT Shelley while she droned on about Morning Meditation. Kinickie told her she should have told on LS Baldwin because he should have known better. Dr. Drew is concerned about the resentment the group is developing now that LS Baldwin's Sheep Costume has been ripped to shreds because in the real world resentment makes addicts use.

Jaime "Who" Foxworth is telling the tale from her own perspective (translation: trying to get some camera time with her clothes on). Apparently LS Baldwin offered to fly the younger girls out to NY because his wife was going to be out of town. Brigitte says she's disgusted and she wants to vomit that it's ridiculous. Now she understands how we felt watching her and Flava Flav snog all over each other for a year. Brigitte tells Governor Carey to hang in there and to spit at LS Baldwin next time she sees him.

Brigitte continues her tirade after the break and says that LS Baldwin has abused the young girls and Kinickie says, "Honey you do know this goes on in the real world." Wow, a sober Kinickie is an insightful Kinickie. Brigitte is devastated by LS Baldwin's betrayal. Governor Carey is still feeling guilty about LS Baldwin's wife finding out. Dr. Drew feels that he has yet to hear the whole story and laments that LS Baldwin isn't around to tell his side. The rehabbers sit down for afternoon process group while Dr. Drew stares in wonder at Kinickie's ability to walk relatively straight. Kinickie does a little soft-shoe of happiness but it doesn't look like any of his moves from Grease and I'm sad once again. There's cheers all around for the performance

Dr. Drew asks how everyone is feeling and AI Jessica kicks it off. She is pissed - she feels that his actions were premeditated and that he manipulated Governor Carey. Dr. Drew is trying to get them to see the positive in the experience but Brigitte is not having it and neither is Crazytown Seth. Brigitte says her life been all about betrayal and she is surprised that this came from LS Baldwin who made himself out to be a father figure and all around picture of sobriety. Brigitte can't believe she's lived under the same roof as a man who would send dirty pictures on a phone, etc. This would have been an EXCELLENT time for VHDumb to slice in some footage from Surreal Life and Strange Love but alas they skipped on the opportunity.

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