Gettin Drunk, Passin Out, Rockin On: Interview with Courtney from Rock of Love 2
Fun, Pretty, and Such a Sweetie!
The first episode of the second season of Rocks for Brains, aka Rock of Love With Bret Michaels, offered us a brief but unforgettable encounter with Courtney Van Dusen. You may also know her as “the girl who slept through elimination” or “the girl who blacked out and fell off the bed” or “the girl who was told she was eliminated after sleeping off an over-indulgence in the bottle.” No matter how you know her, you’ve gotta love her. She was gracious enough to agree to an email interview about her experiences with Nut Loaf Incorporated, a subdivision of VH1, and life in the aftermath. That aftermath has a very distinct pattern. See if you can pick up on it.
Reality Shack: Let’s start off with the obvious. What made you want to go on “Rock of Love 2?” Are you a Poison fan? A fan of 80s hair bands?
Courtney: Oh dude, I'm all about the big hair arena cock rock. I always wanted to be Tawny Kitean with big ol' hair and dry humping the hood of a car. "Rock of Love 2" was the closest thing I could think of to living out my fantasy.
RS: Did you have a favorite contestant from the first season? Or someone you didn't root for?
Courtney: I LOVED Brandi M. That chick is the kind of girl you wanna party with!
RS: Did you become friends with any of the women in the house for the very limited time you were there? Or enemies?
Courtney: Enemies are for people who give a damn. There are definitely a handful of girls I consider real friends. The rest? Pfft.
RS: And what the heck were you drinking? How much? You threw back what seemed like a gallon of liquor!
Courtney: I was drinking the Jack Daniels. I'm not sure how much I drank, I just wanted to peace the fuck outta that environment. I probably drank close to an entire handle by myself. hahaha. Ooops!
RS: Are you sorry you left so soon? What do you think of the way you received the news about your elimination when Bret had the girls tell you in the morning?
Courtney: I'm not really sorry at all, to be honest. I missed my friends and family and my real life. So it was kinda cool that I got to go back, but still be on the show. I was kind of irked that he had his skank brigade tell me I had to roll out, but at the same time...I guess you can't really blame a guy for not wanting to deal with you when you basically said, "fuck you...I'd rather drink".
RS: Some people claim you have low self-esteem and that’s why you got so drunk. You made comments that hinted at poor body image. Was that the drink talking, the usual female insecurities, a combination?
Courtney: See, I don't think I'm fat or ugly. I think a lot of that was 1) being a friggin DRUNKass...and 2) The girls in that house were little tiny twigs and gave Barbie a run for her money. So I guess in comparison to them I felt fat and ugly, but I do not feel that way about myself on a daily basis.
RS: Who was the realest contestant in the house?
Courtney: Hmmm...Roxy. As cool and down to earth as she was on the show, she's exactly like that in real life.
RS: Who was the fakest?
Courtney: Almost everyone was Fake Fakie McFakerson to some degree or another. Everyone had their motives and impressions they wanted to give off. So whatever. I'm not gonna call anyone out, but if America has decent people judgement skillz to pay the billz, they'll figure it out on their own.
RS: So many girls who go on these shows have ulterior motives for being on. Did you have any?
Courtney: Of course I had them. Who REALLY goes on a show like that to meet the love of their life? No one not in a straight jacket. My ultimate goal was to go for the experience and have a good time along the way. Mission accomplished.
RS: What was Big John like? We saw him try to rouse you from a drunken stupor on the couch. Did he wind up carrying you at any point? (sigh).
Courtney: Big John is awesome. He's a total doll and I have nothing but good things to say about him. He's totally legit and we have a tendency to drunk dial eachother. hahaha.
RS: Is Bret the same in person as we see on screen? You didn’t seem to have any one-on-one time with him, but you sure were closer to him than I’ve ever been.
Courtney: Oh yeah. He's rockstar. Plain and simple. That charisma is just as apparent in the flesh as it is on the screen.
RS: One of our esteemed writers, Heather, wants to know if you got close enough to settle the wig rumors. I’m in the “Bret Michaels' hair is definitely real” camp. Other people think he’s got some weird hairpiece. Your thoughts?
Courtney: Girl, I was already plastered when I saw him...and I was so pissed off that I had to get all coochy coochy after Inna spread-eagled herself and bounced her buttcheeks off the ground that the last thing I was thinking about was his hair. But it looked real. He's either got a GREAT wig master or he's au natural.
RS: I checked out your MySpace page (which is a huge deal because I despise MySpace). Do you think that shows a more accurate picture of you than the show did?
Courtney: I don't think the show portrayed me wrong. I got piss ass blackout drunk. And sometimes that happens when I'm at home with my friends. I didn't do anything on that show that people haven't seen me do in real life. However, I have a pretty epic sense of humor and I'm a lot of fun...and the show failed to capture that. I'd like to say it was poor editing, but I was just so done and over it all, I'm sure I was a real drag that night.
RS: Your parting comment that you’re the type of girl who gets drunk and blacks out was Hil. Air. Eee. Us. Do you see yourself as a comedian? A party girl?
Courtney: I'm a funny bitch with a drink usually in hand. I'm young, cute, single, and I don't have any real responsibilities. I want to take full advantage of that as long as possible. One day I'll be a mom and/or married...and I wanna know that I partied my goddamn ass off and lived my life to the fullest. I don't wanna be resentful of my life or my children or whatever poor dude decides to settle down with me. But fuck yeah, I'm hilarious. And I don't care what anyone else says. As long as I'm laughing, everyone else can lick my big toe.
RS: Do you think your appearance on “Rock of Love” will help your career or your social life? Has your appearance on the show changed your life in any way?
Courtney: It's helped my social life a ton. I have more myspace bff's now! It's rad. And I get free drinks and shoutouts at bars. Can't hate on the free booze! I just wish I knew how to use it to benefit my sex life!
RS: What’s one thing about you that you want everyone to know?
Courtney: I'm way more awesome in real life. Wayyyyy more.
RS: Is there anything you regret about doing the show?
Courtney: I regret not taking a shot or making a drink the next morning when I woke up. Hangovers are a real bitch.
RS: Where will we see you next?
Courtney: Hopefully your friendly neighborhood bar. =)
And now for some completely random questions:
RS: If James Brown were alive today and in your living room, what would you say to him?
Courtney: Get off your ass and make me a drink.
RS: What CDs are you currently listening to?
Courtney: Sonata Arctica, Amy Winehouse, and my boy 50 Cent.
RS: Who do you think would win in a boxing match between Dora The Explorer and that big purple Teletubbie?
Courtney: Isn't Tinky Winky a twinkie? If so, he'd win because those little queenie boys are viscious! Dora would get her ass whooped.
RS: What’s your favorite word?
Courtney: Buckfutter.
RS: Aside from Rock of Love, what’s your favorite reality television show?
Courtney: Project Runway or America's Next Top Model. SO fierce!
RS: Hooray—you get to be President for a day. What do you do for that day?
Courtney: Paint the White House a devilish shade of hot pink, eat the most amazing food that can be imported, and buy an entire shopping mall under my name. Oh yeah, and I'd use my Executive Decision powers to coerce Josh Hartnett into boning me in every room in the aptly dubbed "HOT Pink House".
RS: Even more hooray—you get to be God for a minute. What do you do for that minute?
Courtney: Fiddle with my genetic makeup to resemble a cross between Jessica Alba and Angelique Jolie. And give myself J.Lo's body, pre-pregnancy of course.
RS: What’s your favorite junk food?
Courtney: Oh, I don't know...everything.
RS: What’s one article of clothing you can’t live without?
Courtney: The Victoria's Secret Miracle bra. GODSEND.
RS: Do you now have a new-found love of rocks since you were on “Rock” of Love?
Courtney: Unless they sparkle and have a 2 carat count, not so much. Unless I'm throwing down. Perfect weaponage.
RS: Anything else you want to say? Any shameless plugs? A website? Say it now!
Courtney: www.myspace.com/onesnazzybroad. The URL says it all. Now buy me a drink. I'm sober as shit, and that ain't gonna fly with me for long...
Did you catch on to the theme? It’s pretty hard to miss. And quite familiar as well. Hmmm, maybe SHE can get Big John to give me a call.... Thank you, Courtney, for your time and for being a great sport.
Rocks for Brains, aka Rock of Love 2, airs on Sundays at 11 AM and 9 PM. Unfortunately, none of the episodes feature Courtney anymore, but we can think of her and down a 40 as we watch.
If you’ve had enough of this reality tv stuff, you can see a different kind of reality by livin the dream with me, one loser at a time. Also, get more Gossip Girl if you like.
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