Celebrity Rehab, Episode 4 – Wet T-Shirts, Naked PictureMail, and Kinickie the Yogini
Are there any other clips they can open with? Once again we open to Daniel and Kinickie arguing over the cocaine Kinickie had on his rolled up $20 bill. Ooooh Dr. Drew has a new opening monologue, if I’m patient I will see that VHDumb has a method to their madness. Dr. Drew tells us he wants people to be challenged and he wants them to challenge each other and to see them flare a fight. In other words, he and VHDumb want ratings. Okay, understood, on to the show. Maybe not another five more minutes of microwaved clips from the last three episodes.. this time RRS (Ricco Rodriguez/Rico Suave) is featured and Dr. Drew explains that he is a lightning rod ... now on with the show. Damn! Fooled again. We have to rehash the OxyContin episode and Kinickie’s fake check out too. Wow, seven minutes gone and we’re just getting to the theme music and opening credits. This may be a short recap.
Oh, now the show’s starting officially. Back to Day 5 and Dr. Drew is still in his “Simon” uniform of tight black tee and jeans telling Kinickie he wants him to get his shit together and that he’s in no condition to check out yet. Kinickie says he’s going through a trauma and while he’s going through that, a girl is screaming that she wants his phone. Dr. Drew says, well I do need your phone… something about this seems oddly familiar wait, BECAUSE I TYPED THESE VERY SENTENCES LAST WEEK. Why does VHDumb do that??? Kinickie starts rattling off the reasons why he’s checking out: can’t do drugs, can’t drink… wait those are my reasons - his are grounded more in reality: the rules are stupid (no phone), there’s fascism. Dr. Drew thinks that this is a withdrawal tantrum.
RRS tells Kinickie to give him a hug because if he leaves he’s going to die. Dr. Drew says he needs Kinickie to act sane, Kinickie says oh you want me to be an actor. Isn’t this why he’s on Celebrity Rehab because he was an actor or can Civil Engineers be on Celebrity Rehab too now? Everyone gathers to say good bye to Kinickie. Kinickie says he knows he’s making scenes and Dr. Drew wants everyone to tell him how they would feel if he left
Governor Carey goes first and starts to cry and says you shouldn’t leave you need to stay and get the hell well… she’s been hanging out with Crazytown Seth, she rhymes! She gives him another version of the quitter speech. Brigitte says he’s still ill and he has no right to leave… wow it is kind of fascist there. She encourages him to think it over 'til the morning and everyone agrees. Dr Drew says that they’ll talk about phone time in the morning and lets go to bed. Kinickie is like, bed? And everyone says ok ok have a ciggy. The campers are told by RT Ben Gay to get to bed right away!
Nice scene of the smog in LA, it's responsible for all of our magnificent sunsets! It's wake up time and no one is up yet. Kinickie apologizes to RT Shelley for being crabby. Daniel is lamenting to Brigitte that he feels caged. Dr. Drew interviews that Daniel is becoming increasingly negative about rehab. He tells us that they’ve only been a week into rehab... really only a week? God time goes by slow in the reality show world. Apparently after a week the “true” issues start to come out. That is scary considering what we’ve already seen and heard.
It's group process time again and it's all about - I’ll give you three seconds to guess… one... two... three - Kinickie!!!!! Crazytown Seth is telling him he wants him to dig deep and want to get sober. Dr. Drew wants to know what the real deal is. Kinickie says he doesn’t know. Dr. Drew is all about confrontation this episode. Kinickie is rather ambivalent about whether he can get sober or not because he’s failed a lot of times. Dr. Drew reaches into his mental file labeled “Cliched Platitudes and Encouragement” and says it's not about whether you can it's whether you want to. Kinickie says most of the time he wants to but sometimes he doesn’t. Apparently Kinickie doesn’t know whether he wants to live or die because living isn’t fun.
Dr. Drew says you don’t think having people come around and help you is good and Kinickie starts to cry while talking about how wonderful the rehab cast is and how he’s never felt so much love in his life and that’s why he decided to stay last night. Kinickie calls that real, Dr. Drew calls it intense. Dr. Drew feels now that Kinickie has admitted how connected he is to the group, maybe he can open up about the horrors of his past. Uh Oh, I knew that scene with the ass muscle and RT Ben Gay was a dramatic foreshadowing of something ugly. Kinickie shares that he was tortured and there were older guys he hung around with when he was three or four, and that they would beat him up and stick him in bags and lock him in trunks, and put him in bags and hang him from buildings, or tie him to rail road tracks and wait for the train. That sounds like a road runner cartoon but I’m not going to discount his “trauma”. The group looks distressed and I’m looking for Roadrunner on the TiVo menu to validate my giggles.
Now Kinickie reveals some things about a pedophile incident when he was seven. He was selling magazines for the Catholic Church and a guy brought him into a studio and there were women there who “played with him” and had him “play with them”. He says he didn’t’ remember it for years and years and it hit him that a camera had been there and he was a child pornographer. Dr. Drew says that sexual abuse is exceedingly common in addicts. He asks if anyone wants to share, no one does.
Dr. Drew interviews about how intense group was and how surprised he was that more people didn’t chime in because there were many people with the same stories and he thought he’d been hearing them. Governor Carey says the story made her upset and she’s not sure why but she needs to take some time to figure it out. She thinks maybe she’s hiding some sexual memories of her own that she doesn’t know about. Despite the horror of the story, no one’s appetite is dimmed as they chow down on onion rings and other fried rehab goodies. Daniel doesn’t want to eat with the cameras around and he leaves. Dr. Drew interviews on how everyone is courageous because of the cameras - everyone except Daniel that is, who is focused on everything but his recovery. I guess if you want to rehab in private Daniel you shouldn’t have gone on Celebrity Rehab. How will other addicts be encouraged by your sobriety if it's not on film?
It's bright and sunny in Pasadena and it's time for Day 6 afternoon process. Oh it's not actually afternoon process it’s an impromptu session Dr. Drew called to address the Daniel Distraction. Dr. Drew informs the group that even though they all have their own burdens he would like to further burden them with the guilt that they are all his patients and his responsibility to make them all get through this positively, and then turns it over to Forest Bob who looks like he’s gotten some professional coloring done. He wants to discus how the cameras make them feel. Governor Carey pipes up, "I’ve done everything on camera pretty much so I’m not embarrassed," and this breaks the ice. Way to go Gov’nr. Jaimie Who is comfortable and Brigitte says she would feel weird if they weren’t. Daniel feels there should be five minutes without cameras because in the middle of conversations they have to check their mics and equipments and it interrupts the flow.
Dr. Drew says that this has never been done and it's unexplored territory. I have to pipe in that Intervention, one of my favorites, has been getting it right for a long time now and those people were never PAID to act they’re just raw so maybe someone in Production Development at VHDumb should consult with someone at A&E for Season 2…c’mon you know there’s going to be a Season 2. Forest Bob says they may get used to the cameras and Dr. Drew wants them to find their way with it and focus on getting well. He hopes Daniel will get over the privacy invasion but Dr. Drew feels it’s a smokescreen for something else.
Wow, that certificate in addictionology is really paying off, because Daniel comes to Dr. Drew’s office needing to “tell him something,” which is he’s going to leave on Thursday to do an Intervention. He promises to go and come right back. He claims that he’s stuck and he has to do it… meanwhile those sneaky camera guys cut to the excuses he gives to his fellow rehabbers of why he’s leaving:
* To RRS – He just got a call to testify in a court case
* To RT Shelley and American Idol Jessica – He’s going to get a 75 yo woman into a program
* To Crazytown Seth – He has a movie to shoot in England
* To Brigitte – My back was bothering me and it's reminiscent of a bad time for him and he’s just been through rehab for 95 days
Crazytown Seth interviews that he had been through 12 reasons of why to leave and his mind was running by the end of the day. At his one on one Dr. Drew asks him if he wants to stay and Daniel says he’s not sure. Daniel says he’s not sure because this is different from what he envisions. He thought they cameras were just going to show him getting treatment not be around all of the time. Dr. Drew says he needs that because he’s used to addicts doing a lot of things and this keeps people safe. Don’t other facilities just use security cameras on closed circuit monitors to accomplish the same thing? Oh silly Ebbie, if they didn’t’ use film cameras there would be no show!!!
Apparently ambivalent and any derivative of the word is the theme of this episode because like Kinickie (wow he’s been quiet since early page 2), Daniel is ambivalent to his recovery or at least that’s what Dr. Drew thinks. Daniel says that he’s not ambivalent about why he came there which was not to get sober but to tell his story and to get people into recovery. Dr. Drew once again reminds him that even though your worry is how to stay off of crack and liquor everyday, he has the burden of being responsible for them and their recovery and he has a lot to figure out and find a way. Umm, Dr. Drew didn’t you ask for this? I think you need a 12 step program for Complainer’s Anonymous! And I would hope you didn’t gather this group of dysfunction together without a plan. Dr. Drew is worried about whether Daniel can stay focused and sober.
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