Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant, Episode 2 - Nothing a Little Masking Tape Won't Fix
It's moving day for Scott & Renee, leaving Scott feeling as if he's at the top of a roller coaster waiting for the brake release. In his new found quest to save money Scott hires two college kids for 100 bucks and a six pack to help him & Renee. It seems a little strange that not one of Scott's friends are there to help them move, but who am I to judge?
Scott runs around taking orders from Renee, whom he calls the little blond dictator, directing the very incapable college guys, and snapping at Renee for lifting things. As soon as the unpacking begins, Scott & Renee start bickering. This continues until Scott finally escapes by saying he has to use the restroom.
While milling around upstairs he unpacks the pregnancy books that Renee gave him. Deciding the books are boring, Scott dives into the pile of Playboys that are packed underneath the books. Of course looking at all these Playboys is not the same experience for Scott as it is for most guys, since most of these women are his ex-girlfriends.
Scott is reflecting on the life he is leaving behind by getting married & becoming a father, when he's suddenly shaken back to reality by Renee shouting for him through the intercom. When she can't get a straight reply from Scott, she simply starts yelling for him to come downstairs. Scott decides they need a bigger house. Feeling like a caged animal, Scott uses his 'Daddies to Be' class as an excuse to get away from the unpacking and from Renee. He cruises around the city awhile before making his way to the class.
The first thing Bill brings out is an "awareness jar." He explains to the class that kids tend to mimic and mirror the things we say and do, so to become aware of that, any time anyone uses any profanity, they have to dump a dollar into the jar. Bill then has everyone take out their to- do list and each name something off it. One guy says he wants to go to Cancun before the baby is born, another says he wants to fix his heater, while one guy actually says that he is planning on growing an organic garden so that he can make his own baby food. We see all Scott has written on his list is to go to hell, so of course he declines to say what's on his list. Bill tells Scott whatever feelings he is having, he needs to discuss them with the people in his life so that he can make sure his needs are being met. Scott rolls his eyes and determines that "sharing feelings" sounds a little too new age for him. Does he look like he drinks herbal tea?
Since he's not getting it from the daddies to be class, Scott decides to hit the boxing gym with the guys for a double dose of testosterone. Johnny V shows up and announces he is getting married. Cooch tries to explain to Johnny that you have to make it to a second date before you can think about getting married. Johnny explains that he's going to find someone over the internet. Scott then shares his news that he is having a girl. The guys congratulate him, though he still doesn't see the joy in having a girl.
Scott begins to tell the guys about living under the rule of the little blond dictator when his phone begins to ring... speak of the devil. Renee asks Scott to come home for dinner, and bring tomatoes. Scott compares this to being a child and his mom calling him from the porch and telling him to say goodbye to his friends and come in for dinner. This comparison makes all the sense in the world to me. Of course Renee is treating him like a child, he acts like a ten year old. On a mature day.
Later, Scott manages somehow to sucker Renee into a double date with Johnny & his internet date. I can't be sure, but I am willing to bet good money that VH1 gave Renee some sort of bonus to attend this dinner. I can't prove it though.
While they are waiting for Johnny & his date, Scott becomes increasingly annoyed with some kids that are very loud at another table. Renee calmly explains to Scott that families go out to eat too, and looks even more annoyed with Scott than Scott was with the kids.
Johnny shows up before his date, and tells Renee & Scott that he's very happy about this new baby and about this dinner. Also, if they could go along with anything he told this internet beauty about himself that might not be true, that would be great too. A beautiful brunette walks up and introduces herself as Krysta. Suddenly Johnny beings talking in some weird Yiddish. Apparently he is claiming he is Jewish. Within a few minutes Renee asks Krysta to join her in the restroom. While the girls are gone, Scott questions Johnny and tells him to stop acting Jewish. Johnny reveals that he has got all these great Yiddish words written on his hand. Before Scott cans react the girls return to the table.
Johnny starts chanting some Yiddish chant. Krysta then decides this date isn't even worth finishing her salad, and says her goodbyes. Scott's sympathy for Johnny is gone the moment he realizes that he's going to be hearing about this from Renee once they get home.
Back at the house, Renee barges in on Scott while he's on the toilet to ask him to come downstairs to help her with something. It isn't until Scott reminds her that she's got the camera crew following her, that she closes the door. Ok, this one I'll give to Scott.
The invasion of his bathroom time causes Scott to take off and seek refuge at church. While in confession, he asks the priest if wishing your fiancee would get caught in a pile-up on the highway causing her not to come home is a sin. The priest gives Scott the same advice he got from Bill: talk to Renee. Scott heads home and back to painting the baby's room. Renee comes in, asking Scott to help pick out a color. Scott gets mad, and Renee tells him it's supposed to be fun. Scott then takes a chance, and tells Renee about the anxieties he's been having. About feeling like he's disappearing and that the baby is crushing him. Renee does something she should've done a long time ago - covers Scott's mouth up with some masking tape! With Scott finally silenced, Renee says something that makes her just about the most patient woman on the face of the earth, that Scott is acting normal.
Scott continues to be shocked by her reaction while she explains that he sounds like any other first time dad, and that he's going to be okay. All is right in the house of Baio. Scott remembers that Renee knows him better then any other woman he's ever dated. The fact that she does know him that well and is still around proves what kind of woman she is. One destined for sainthood, if you ask me. Can Playmates be sainted?
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| Anonymous |
Posted: 2009/6/11 15:05 Updated: 2009/6/11 15:05 |
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| dillon86 |
Posted: 2009/6/18 10:27 Updated: 2009/6/18 10:27 |
Quite a regular   Joined: 2009/6/18 From: Posts: 47 |
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