Scott Baio is 46 & Pregnant, Premiere - An Envelope, A Ring, & Sweet Revenge for All Womankind
It's 2008 and we are at the dawning of a new era. By the end of this year we will probably see either our first female or first black president. It is truly a magical moment in history, topped only by the other history making event that 2008 will be remembered for. The year Scott Baio settled down. Yes, it's all true. America's most notorious bachelor has been broken. (Ladies, please keep your cheers and applause until the end of the recap. Thank you).
We start season two right where we left off; it's the night of Scott's graduation party and he has just told Renee that he's FINALLY ready to get married. This announcement is trumped by hers, that she's pregnant! Scott is a little more than shocked to say the least. Outside the party Scott & Renee have words, where in true Baio fashion he tells her he can't deal with her feelings on this right now, he's got to deal with his. That's my Scott, always putting others first. Needing time to cool off, he steals a catering truck after an "incident" with a valet and breaks into his country club. He plants himself on a golf course and calls an emergency meeting of "the guys".
Jason, Cooch, & Johnny all show up at the country club. In a true testament to the friendships, Jason & Cooch immediately see that Scott is not in a happy place, whereas Johnny immediately begins berating Scott for breaking off their friendship & not inviting him to the graduation party (VH1, may I ask, was it really necessary to bring back Johnny for season 2? Was it really?). Scott finally shuts Johnny up with the news that Renee is pregnant.
Jason & Cooch immediately congratulate Scott. Johnny of course suggests getting Renee checked out to make sure she's not trapping him into marriage. Please, he's Scott Baio for cryin' out loud. Don't you think if some chick were just going to be able to get pregnant & sucker him into marriage, it would've been done by now? Stupid Johnny, stupid stupid Johnny. Scott immediately begins to continue the tirade he started outside the party with Renee, and gives the guys the old "my life is over" speech. Cooch recommends calling Doc Ali. Ali of course tells Scott in spite of his fears, that he is ready to be a dad and recommends a daddy class run by a man who Ali thinks could really help Scott get his head together.
Renee somehow forgives Scott for the graduation party freak out in time for him to join her for the first ultrasound. On the way there, he firmly establishes the fact that this baby has to be a boy. There would be no way for him to process having a little girl. As they arrive at the doctor's office, Scott makes the observation that though he's certainly clocked enough women to probably qualify as a gynecologist, he's never been into a gynecologist's office before. Yes, this is why we are all tuning in to see him get taken off the dating scene permanently.
Scott stands back hesitantly as he and Renee hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time, and then finally starts coming around while the doctor performs the ultrasound. After the baby is given a clean bill of health Scott and Renee decide to keep the sex of the baby sealed in the envelope until Scott is ready to know. The ultrasound does kick into gear one of the most common daddy-to-be quests: finding a new place to live.
The first house Scott and Renee look at is a 7500 square foot, 5 bedroom house. Not even the Brady's would have need a house this big. Scott can't help but get excited over all the space he would have, while Renee points out to Scott no matter how much space there is, the baby is still going to be sleeping in a bassinet in their room. Then in the room adjacent to theirs. Though this takes some of the wind out of Scott's sails, they decide to go for the house anyway. Scott comments that the house is way out of his budget and he's going to have to be working a lot in order to pay for it. Not to be nosy or anything, but does anyone know how much VH1 pays their reality stars? Have you seen the digs Flavor Flav, New York, & Bret Michaels supposedly are sporting? I mean, DAMN.
Now that Renee is about 30 weeks along (that's about 10 weeks to D-day for those of who don't know your pregnancy timeline), Scott decides it's time he attends his first daddy class. Baby Charlotte is brought in so that the guys in the class can get to know a real baby. Scott is terrorized by the screaming infant and hands her right back to the teacher, who then uses some baby whisperer techniques and quiets the baby down, impressing Scott. Before class is dismissed they are all given a "daddy to be" journal & their first assignment. A to-do list of everything they want to have done before the baby comes.
While golfing with the guys he fills them in on the class, the journal, and the To-Do list. Jason & Cooch point out that the first thing on that list should be putting a ring on Renee's finger. Scott asks Jason if while he's standing there playing golf and enjoying himself, is he excited about going home to his kids. Jason simply answers, "without a doubt." Man, if only all of our boyfriends & husbands had friends like that!
Scott and Renee go out to dinner and chit chat about painting nurseries, the daddy class, and other parents to be chatter, when a magician arrives at their table. Scott tries to shoo him away but Renee insists on seeing his trick. The magician makes Renee close her eyes. He then has her and Scott hold up their hands which he covers with a napkin. The magician then unveils their hands telling Scott, that the rest was up to him. Renee opens her eyes to see a huge diamond suspended in air between her and Scott's hands. Scott, of course, pops the question. Through tears, Renee asks if he's sure it's what he wants and not just because of the baby. Scott smiles and says that he was going to do this anyway, the baby just beat him to the punch. Renee says yes.
However, it's not over yet, Scott has another another surprise - the envelope. Renee opens it up and reveals to Scott that they are having a girl! Scott falls back into his shock, and says maybe she'll be a lesbian. I don't know how the rest of you feel about religion, but the fact that Scott Baio is having a girl clearly proves that God is a woman, a funny woman at that. Or possibly a woman that dated Scott Baio and has found the ultimate revenge...
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