Mission: Man Band, Episode 5--A Wizard, Elvis, Nero, and Abe Lincoln Walk Into a Bar...
Making videos--man band style!
Previously on Man Band, the guys chickened out telling their manager Miss Kate to stick it when she told them to sing at an Orlando Magic game. She threw them under the bus, they got booed, then she backed the bus back up over them by making them listen to the radio DJs making fun of them, and then floored it again totally flattening them by making them watch back their performance.
This week starts off with the guys calling a meeting with Miss Kate because they are pissed off. They all want to make a record and tour and be a real group. Chris tells Miss Kate they wanted to fire her because she wasn’t on board with their best interests (but I can’t help but notice that they are looking more at her chest than in her eye as they talk). The guys try to make her realize that dragging them out of bed to listen to the radio was over the top and hurt their fragile egos. She tells them she would do it differently if she could do it again, but wouldn’t take back the fact that she made them watch it over and over. I guess that’s the equivalent of still shoving in the knife, but not twisting it as hard. She apologizes and tells them she has their best interests at heart. They take the apology and give her another chance. Wusses.
Bryan and his trainer Kristia are working out and he’s surprised at how positive he is about the exercising. He attributes it to excitement about the group and wanting to take it farther. He really wants this project to work. Who can blame him? I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t rather sing than roll tires around a warehouse for a living--not to mention the salary differential.
Miss Kate gets the guys together to tell them they get to make an internet video with a small budget. They will have a director, but they have to come up with their own ideas for the video. They decide it will be a good idea to make it as ridiculous as possible to create a buzz. The man band is going viral. And this time they didn’t catch it from groupies.
The next day, they meet to come up with the craziest things they can think of. They decide to throw bologna at people, turn into bats, and something to do with wizards and green screens. Miss Kate sends Rich and Chris to the costume shop to get things for the video. They get excited about donkey heads, Vikings, and wizards. They get Jeff an Elvis costume and Bryan a toga. Rich has some sort of desire to dress like Abraham Lincoln and the costume shop owner assures him he looks more like Lincoln than an Amish guy, so they take it. They blow the entire video budget of $500 at the costume shop.
Carl, the video director shows up for the shoot, and Chris says they really don’t have a concept beyond just making fun of themselves. Miss Kate and the huge crew gets to throw tomatoes at them. The plot has something to do with being chased by a wizard that wants to change them all into something other than boy band members. Rich says he was just like Abe Lincoln and was honest all day. Chris just wants everyone to know they weren’t serious. Rich says it was the greatest day of his life and if he ever has a child, then that will be the second greatest day of his life. Nice. I’m sure his future baby mama will be proud that the kid will be second to dressing up like Abe Lincoln, being chased by a wizard, and getting pelted with tomatoes.
Bryan’s wife Kim comes to visit and is impressed with the house looking like a hotel. She tells Bryan he looks great and like a real pop star now. Jeff comes in to say hi and gives us the history with him and Bryan’s wife. Apparently, Bryan and Jeff toured together at some point and Kim doesn’t think Jeff is supportive of Bryan and makes a comment to that extent that was pretty bitchy. In fact, she comes out and accuses Jeff of calling Bryan a piece of shit. Jeff denies ever saying that and gets flustered by Kim’s passive aggressiveness. Later, they all have dinner together and go to bed…separately, of course.
The next day, Miss Kate brings in a choreographer and a bunch of scantily clad female dancers to audition for their upcoming Miami show. Rich points out that the girls are hot with big boobs and nice bottoms, have slutty clothes on, and Bryan’s wife may have not picked the right time to visit. Chris says you have to be a confident woman in these situations. The guys watch all the women dance and Rich says THIS is the second best day of his life. Jeff gets up on stage and dances with one of the girls saying they tried to audition them with as much class as they could.
Meanwhile, Kim is downstairs doing dishes and scantily clad women run by. I’m waiting for her to use the kitchen sink sprayer on them and the slow motion Baywatch montage of the wet girls. The guys debate whether or not to pick the hottest girls or the best dancers. None of them can remember the girls’ names and decide they will dance for one of the songs. Bryan goes down on a break to talk with his wife and she’s being passive aggressive again with her comments about being cooped up without him. He tells her that he told her exactly what she was coming into and that she needs to be supportive or he doesn’t want to talk to her. Bryan thinks that she’s worried he will leave her, but he loves her and his family. He just needs her support and will leave her if she can’t do that for him. He has 2 other ex-wives to prove it.
Producer comes in to watch the video with the guys. He doesn’t think it’s a good idea for them to make fun of themselves. Rich realizes that other people may not find their video as funny as they do and Producer is their first test. Really? People may not find a rapping Abe Lincoln and crazy wizard funny? Jeff explains to Producer that they don’t want him to think they are making fun of his song, but they are just trying to create an internet buzz. Producer is not too thrilled with it, but he understands the intent and says he’s okay with it. And if he’s not, he’ll have to spend a day with Bryan’s wife while a wizard turns him into a bat and throws tomatoes at him.
Next time, it’s the big show in Miami. Will they get more boos or will the only tomatoes they see be part of their dinner? It doesn’t look good as the music starts before they get on stage, but if anyone can pull it out, it’s the man band.
Sureshot now has 2 songs up on their MySpace Page! Check them out at http://www.myspace.com/sureshotband and check Heather’s VH1 blog at http://www.watchingvh1.com for more great Man Band news.
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