The Two Coreys, Episode 3 - Corey Haim is 35...and Single
Poor Haim. He's so lonely staying at Feldman and Susie's place. I don't blame him. Every time he turns around, the two are attached at the hip. Haim wants to find love but he can't. Of course he blames Feldman for having always introduced him to the wrong girls (namely actresses). Feldman admits to some introductions, but reminds Haim that some of those girls were introduced to him by Scott Baio. Go figure.
Feldman recommends speed dating. Haim agrees, all though reluctantly. Haim hopes to meet a doctor, lawyer, or teacher, basically anyone not in "the business". I can't accept the fact that it was a sincere attempt at speed dating, what with the cameras, and him being Corey Haim and all... Of course no love connection is made and Haim arrives home to disrupt Feldman & Susie's sex life, again. At first I thought he was just not being very thoughtful, until he told the camera that if he's not getting laid, NO ONE is getting laid. Haim decides to brave the ever dangerous waters of... internet dating! I really can't believe Haim would be so desperate. I don't care if he's a little washed up, is it really that difficult to find love for a former lost boy? I would imagine the camera crew makes it pretty difficult though. So Haim meets what seems like a pretty cool chick online, and makes a date to go play frisbee with her. Sweet idea, I think.
As he leaves, Haim tells Feldman & Susie not to wait up! Of course this is a huge step in the Feldman's quest to have sex. Something that has not happened since Haim has been in the house. Feldman gets his groove on (candles, flowers, fire, etc.) while Susie gets all purtied up to enjoy a night alone finally. Of course it's right at that moment back at the frisbee toss that Haim's date confesses that she's ... AN ACTRESS! Haim finds a quick way OUT of the date, and heads back to the Feldman House of Love. Apparently the Feldman's were so into doing the deed on the couch, they didn't notice the entire crew from A&E come in. Haim walked in an gave a half hearted sorry while jumping onto the couch himself and proceeding to complain about his date.
The lack of available women who aren't actresses and his desperate need for love cause Haim to start reflecting on his healthiest and deepest relationship yet, Joanne (Jojo). The only thing that couldn't work in this relationship was the fact Jojo lives in England. Talk about long distance. After some soul searching Haim calls Jojo and asks her to fly out and visit because they needed to talk out some stuff. Could she be his one and only? The Maggie to his Lucas? The Mercedes to his Les? She just might be...
Haim prepares for Jojo's visit by visiting a flower shop and taking the advice of an entirely way too bossy florist, and buying Jojo some beautiful roses. Unfortunately he forgets to clean up his room over at Casa Feldman, which luckily doesn't seem to bother Jojo too much. The episode ends with all four having a nice dinner (where Susie receives her first compliment from Haim) then Haim & Jojo happily cuddling in Haim's room. Meanwhile across the hall Feldman makes yet another attempt at sex with Susie, who is just too worn out. I guess marriage is the same whether you're famous or not.
By the way, where in the hell is Feldman & Susie's little boy, Zen? For those of you who don't know, the Feldmans have a toddler, and I don't mean Haim! Maybe they couldn't handle the idea of two little boys running around the house (yes I mean Zen AND Haim) and shipped little Zen off to Grandma's. If anyone knows the whereabouts of little Zen Feldman, please contact me immediately.
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