Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Episode 4 - Cuddling With Chachi
Intimacy is Doc Ali's theme for week 6. This seems timely, considering when Doc Ali arrives at Scott's for this week's session he's tearing into a punching bag to take out his sexual frustration. Doc Ali says that Scott has to learn to be intimate without sex, and the best way to get a lesson in non-sexual intimacy is by attending a cuddle party. A cuddle party is apparently where people with intimacy issues go to get some non-sexual psychical contact with other people. In addition to attending the cuddle party, Scott has another assignment: to get together with his long time sex buddy Connie, (who Scott has been sleeping on & off with for the last 15 years) and give the relationship a clean break. This will be the first time Scott has officially broken up with someone he only had a sexual relationship with.
During this session Scott gets a little uppity with Doc Ali. He whines about how he's tired of getting creamed by all these women and wants to know how this is really helping him. Doc Ali says that he's simply trying to get out of this halfway through instead of completing the process, just like he's done with every other relationship he's ever been in. Scott angrily agrees. Scott decides he needs to recommit to therapy.
Apparently recommitting means going bowling with the guys, because that's the next thing Scott does. He asks the guys to go with him to the cuddle party. Johnny, assuming that there is going to be sex at some point during this party, agrees right away. Cooch agrees if it means helping out Scott, while Jason says he'll have to check with his wife first. Scott confides to the guys that so far he has yet to figure anything out. He's still unsure whether he can get married or not. Jason boldly points out he's only got two weeks left, so he better figure things out fast.
Scott meets up with former sex buddy Connie for dinner. As it turns out, Connie has some of the harshest truths Scott has heard yet. She explains to Scott that sex with him was sterile. She confronts him about how brief he always was with everything, and about his lack of passion. Connie then compares Scott's life to that of a salesman. Waking up in the morning then going over his lead sheet (his black book) and booking all the girls for the day, based on where they live. Every time Scott hugs somebody he's looking at his watch to make sure he's not late for his next appointment.
In true Baio fashion, Scott owns up and admits guilt to the accusation. As Scott answers yet ANOTHER text message during their dinner, Connie also points out that even when Scott is there, he's never really there. Scott finishes up the text and simply says "We're good then." The whole meeting was awkward and ends with Connie telling Scott how callous & desensitized he is. Before leaving she tells Scott how he's just a black hole. Gee, and I thought Shelia from last week was kind of mean.
Doc Ali shows up at Scott's to find out how dinner with Connie was. Scott confesses after almost twenty years of being friends, Connie didn't really know Scott at all. This realization hits home with Scott. He explains that his fear of marriage comes in large part due to his fear of becoming a fat old man shuffling around depressed all the time, and marrying a woman who is going to spend every waking moment spending every dime he has. Doc Ali tells Scott if he doesn't want that kind of marriage, all he has to do is choose NOT to have that kind of marriage. Pretty simple stuff really. Well simple for those of us who don't have a life coach anyway.
Well it's the night of the big cuddle party, and Cooch, Johnny, and Scott (Jason never was able to get permission from the wifey - that or he was afraid of the idea he might have to cuddle with Johnny...) are all dressed in their favorite PJ's and armed with their pillows. On the way Johnny brags to the guys about how he's brought every type of condom there is. Cooch & Scott both try and explain, yet again, that there will be no sex at this party. So much for the Rat Pack comparisons.
The guys arrive and are introduced to Reid Mihalko, the cuddle party host, as well as the rest of the group. Scott compares it to some weird 60's hippie cult. They go around and say their name and why they've come. Scott's reason of course, "my life coach made me come". After Johnny asks an embarrassing question in regards to erection protocol, they start hugging and giving each other massages. Scott of course instantly finds himself outside of his comfort zone. Scott's plan to sleep through the whole thing is thwarted when he's asked to cuddle with Shorty, a midget who gives Scott as wink as they lie in bed. Scott gets a little perspective when he cuddles with a nice girl and they discuss why it's easier to open up to a stranger than to someone you care about. They guys leave the party a little more relaxed, and Scott, a little more determined to follow the therapy through to the end.
The scenes from next week got me pretty intrigued as Doc Ali finally meets the guys. Namely Johnny V, whom she says Scott should consider breaking up with... YAY! Could this really be the end of Johnny V? Doc Ali makes the very professional observation in one scene for next week, that compared to Johnny, Scott looks healthy! I made THAT observation in the first 30 seconds of the first episode... but who am I to quibble?
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Posted: 2009/7/7 10:25 Updated: 2009/7/7 10:25 |
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