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Author: Tucker
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Published: 07-06-2007
Read: 1206 times

Shaq's NBA Rings Don't Measure Up


Well, opening this, I have a confession to make. While I have been following the workout well enough, I've eaten more than my share every day since it started. Normally, I'll put my weight down at this point, but this week, I prefer not to.

Shaquille O'Neal starts off, ticked at all of these kids. He says they all cried at the doctors, but then they stepped on him. Sorry Shaq, but I did too. He fought with everyone to get them trainers right away, but "Mr. Shaq" trusted them for three weeks, and they sorely disappointed him.

Shaq and Doctor Carlon "Doc" Colker have called a meeting with the kids and their parents. Shaq immediately asks for all of the balls, takes his finger, and pops holes through them. While Walter is wondering the reason, Kit gets scared, and James thinks they have to be getting new balls. Shaq gathers the kids and tells them that they crossed him, and he can't help them anymore. He first gets on Kevin for throwing the ball at Ariel's face, and then Chris for lying about his workout. He tells them that he is on the same diet that they are on, and he has those same pains. He then announces that Doc is in charge, and he has a crazy trainer that doesn't like kids. Shaq privately tells Walter he is proud of him for coming fourteen out of the sixteen days.

Doc introduces himself, saying that he trains with eight world champions, from eight different sports, but not yet has he seen such terrible effort. Airel is surprised at Doc and Shaq's forgiveness. Doc also says they are all liars, but Chris spearheaded the charge. Ariel only came in five out of fifteen times, and James handled it like a joke. Everything was a punchline. At the first sign of discomfort, he quit. Shaq says forget the show. Doc brings in an old friend, a trainer who is as tough as nails. Then you hear the parents yelling at their kids.

James says, and I quote, "A guy walked in. He looked like Mr. T, but not as strong, and uglier." Tarik Tyler says he knew these kids were gong to be fat, but not that fat. His question is what have we become as a nation? Well, we've become lazy pigs. He says I am Mr. Tyler, as you can't call me by my first name, for we aren't on a first name basis." Between Doc and Tarik, there are more than forty years of training expertise. Parents are just as responsible, they feel. Five days a week, they need to do whatever they need to do to get the kids there for two hours each day.

Tarik gets the kids up, and has the kids do bear crawls. He rides them for at least five times through. He admits he was also fat like them and says he's hard on them, because he cares for them more. As all the kids work out, Kit starts breathing hard and oddly. Fear and anxiety are running Kit. Doc tells her mom she needs to be strong for Kit. She can't stand up for that long and will not come around. An ambulance has to cart her away on a stretcher. She is having an anxiety attack, but everything else is fine.

Ariel just breaks down. Tarik uses Kitr as an example. Shaq gets ticked and worried, and thinks it was a heart attack. Doc calms him down, though. We see Miami Children's Hospital, and Doc calls Dr. Muines and fills him in on Kit. Shaq goes to Dale Brown for help on the issue. Brown says he is very happy that Shaq is doing this. At lunch, they don't eat the bread.

Doc, Brown, and Shaq are going to the schools in order to get mandatory P.E. Classes. Shaq gets Dr. Muines to check on all the kids, doing wacko things, such as kissing. yes, I said kissing. and telling Walter that Britney Spears is divorcing K-Fed and coming to Walter. At one class, only one kid does mandatory P.E. Doc and Brown talk to overweight kids, and one girl says if she could change the world, she would make gym mandatory. One guy talks about how bad his life is. An athletic director says there should be requirements, and if you don't meet them, P.E. should be mandatory.

It has been one month. It's weigh-in time. Ariel lost 1 pound, Chris 4, and James 6, but he is cheating a lot. Walter lost 6, and Kevin gained 3 pounds. He has a lot of denial. Kit wasn't there and has basically quit.

The next time at the gym, Kit still hasn't come back, and Chris is gone at a baseball game. Tarik yells they don't have the right to be tired. Walter respects what Chris is doing. As Chris comes home from the game, he sees Tarik at the door. He makes him do a really hard workout there at home, and makes a comment that he smells that fat a'burnin'. Chris is done, and he is aching a lot. Doc calls to say that Kit has quit, and Shaq really wants her to come back.

The next day working out, Walter comes in with an announcement. Kit had told him personally that she was done. She was his best friend, for they are both different. Kevin helps everyone out that is having a hard time with the loss of Kit.

Dietician Joy Bauer reports in, focused on James. He ate four slices of pizza the night after she had visited him the first time. Kevin eats candy while he is on the treadmill. Chris misses bacon, eggs, and ice cream, and she notes it's because their bodies are used to so much food. Joy goes to Chris' house to teach how to make a low-fat Cuban dish. Once they are done, they all say it tastes like normal, AKA full of fat.




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