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Published: 06-14-2007
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Fast Cars & Superstars, Episode 3—Scream Like a Girl



So far only men have advanced in Fast Cars & Superstars, will Jewel break that streak? We’ll find out in this episode. Singer Jewel, former NBA star turned talk show host John Salley, and WWE Superstar John Cena will compete tonight under the careful eye of Nextel Cup star Carl Edwards, driver of the #99 Office Depot Ford for Roush-Fenway Racing. Carl is best known for his athletic body (have you seen that cover of ESPN magazine? Wow) and doing backflips off his car when he wins races.

John Salley will be the first one up. He had it a little rough in practice. First, he was trash talking everyone and bragging about how the trophy was his. However, his screaming like a little girl in the ride around told a different story. He barely fit in the car at all because he’s so tall. Carl Edwards found it pretty funny that he was so scared.

When it’s time to race, Carl tells John they will go easy on the first lap and then crank it up for the last two. He wasn’t kidding on that first part. John’s first lap is a pathetic 125 mph. I think I’ve driven faster than that on the Chicago freeways. John asks if he is having car problems, and I’m thinking it’s more driver problems. He hits 128 mph on his second lap and gets some encouragement from Carl before ending in a time of 2:05.89. That’s not very good. Jewel and John Cena give him a hard time as he exits the car.

Next up is Jewel who gets some last minute advice from Carl. She says in practice that she’s never done anything this dangerous and has never even gotten a speeding ticket. Carl calls her a lead foot and the guys watch her race and make jokes about her not being able to see over the steering wheel. When she gets out, she smack talks John Salley about his screaming.

At the race, Jewel immediately pulls up on Carl’s bumper making him go faster. Her first lap is a decent 144 mph, blowing John Salley out of the water. At this point, I think she could run out of gas and coast around the rest of the laps and still beat him. She stays consistent with another 144 mph lap and then finishes strong with a time of 1:51.78. Finally, a woman advances!

John Cena rounds out the trio this time and says he’s not afraid to put his car and body at risk to win this thing. He has a rivalry with John Salley and finds his helmet doesn’t fit. Jewel and John Salley make jokes about the size of his head and talk about how much coffee he’s had. John Salley wants to get him a turkey sandwich to make him sleepy. At the end of practice, Carl tries to fool him into thinking he was only going 112 mph, but he confesses it was really 147 mph.

It’s time for the green flag and John Cena is focused on being fast. He communicates with Carl and how he’s doing. His first lap is at 144 mph and just slightly slower than Jewel. Cena does a great job of staying in Carl’s tracks as he follows him around. His second lap is exactly the same as his first. He needs to pick up this last lap in order to beat Jewel, but as long as he doesn’t crash he’ll be moving on to the next round. He finishes with 1:52.02, which is slower than Jewel. He gets out of the car and runs into the crowd to celebrate. John Salley has been eliminated.

Next time: Ryan Newman will train William Shatner, Gabrielle Reece, and Bill Cowher.

Who has been the best Gillette Young Gun tutor so far? Let me know what you think at heather@realityshack.com.





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