Celebrity Fit Club: Men Vs. Women – Episode 1, They’re Not So Fat
Celebrity Fit Club began it’s new season last night on Vh-1. However, as I’m looking at the ‘celebs’, I notice one major thing – these people aren’t that fat. A few are chubby, but most are almost athletic-looking. Already I don’t identify with most of these individuals and, well, I don’t like that. Where’s the fluffy Snapple lady? The diva-like Angie Stone? The hefty Bone Crusher, or the sweet and oddly-sexy Phil Margera? How about my Ralphie May?
I mean - the biggest gal is former American Idol finalist, Kimberley Locke, and she’s not all that big.
Where are my fat celebs?
I watch Celebrity Fit Club to see overweight celebs who remind me that my life is not so bad ‘cuz I let myself go.
Even though I’m put off, I continue to watch because that’s the kind of dedicated reality TV writer I am.
Basically, this episode is where we meet the so-called celebs. They do their first ‘Fit Club’ boot camp with Harvey Walden – and they weigh-in. We also see a foreshadowing of the drama that will occur this season. (For those of you who don’t know, Screech is an @$$hole – and Kimberley Locke hates him a lot.) Wait, we learn that the teams this season are separated by gender.
Tiffany stands on the scales first, and we get a montage of her career which includes lots of mall footage and her Playboy photo shoot. Since then, Tiff has battled the bulge. She’s a whopping 152 lbs. What a heifer, huh?
She has to lose 4 lbs before the next weigh-in and over the course of the show, she’s gotta take off a full 25 lbs. That’ll definitely bring down some of her 32.2% body fat.
Ross “The Intern” Matthews is first-up for the guys. For those of you who don’t know him – and I’m sure that’s a lot – Ross is a regular on The Tonight Show where he does stupid things for Jay Leno. He says he’s comfortable being fluffy, but he’s so not. However, he hates exercise but is so scared of Harvey that I’m sure he’ll be whipped into shape easily.
Here’s his stats:
Starting Weight: 214
Target: 4 lbs
Total Weight Loss Expected During Series: 30 lbs.
Body Fat: 32.2%
Hey, his body fat is the same as Tiffany’s which sucks ‘cuz men can obviously can weigh a heck of a lot more and hold less body fat. I’m just saying, as a woman, that’s NOT fair.
Kimberley Locke hits the scales again. She says that she never thought she was fat ‘til she got to Los Angeles, ‘cuz she’s a Southern girl and that’s what the all look like.
Thanks, for the over-generalization, there, miss “Eighth World Wonder”. Kimberley is an admitted pizza-holic. Screech takes issue with this and says he’ll be her pizza pimp. He doesn’t believe people can be addicted to food, but boy can they. It’s true.
The new psychologist, Stacy (I don’t like her. I miss Linda. She was awesome) tells Kimberley that she’ll need to replace pizza with a support system and all that. Kimberley seems ready to listen and wants to get skinny. Dr. Ian chides her that ‘Fit Club’ isn’t about getting skinny; it’s about getting healthy. I know he believes that, but most people don’t care about getting healthy. They’d rather get skinny even if they have to do it in an unhealthy manner.
Kimberley weighs 176 lbs which makes her the biggest girl on the female side. Her body fat is 34.9%. Over the show they want her to lose 20 lbs and trim down by 5 lbs in time for the next weigh-in.
Dustin Diamond comes up next. The producers show some lovely images from his porn tape. Dustin says his goal is to eat junk food and lose weight through exercise alone. Harvey and Dr. Ian take a major issue with this. The psychiatrist asks him to shut up and learn to listen, but I don’t think he’s gonna get it.
Here are his stats:
First weigh-in: 217 lbs. (I didn’t believe it myself! He didn’t look nearly as big as all that.)
Target: 5 lbs.
Over course of series: 33 lbs.
Body fat: 28.8%
Maureen McCormick is next. McCormick is the crier this season. She has a reason to cry, however. The former Marcia Brady lost her mom to cancer and had to put her disabled brother in a home. She feels depressed and guilty and eats a lot of sugary stuff to soothe herself. She wants to be healthy and happy.
Maureen’s numbers are:
First weigh-in: 150 lbs.
Target: 4 lbs.
Over course of show: 25 lbs.
Body fat: 35.2%
Warren G. has to regulate his weight. Dr. Dre’s half-brother has been hitting the junk food harder than the gym lately. His wife is ticked off about it. However, Warren looks fairly lean and athletic. His body fat is actually pretty decent at 22.3%. Sure, he has a pooch, but I think the dude who ruled the first Fit Club boot camp will do well in this competition by sheer force of will. He’s a heavier than I thought at 221 lbs, the biggest dude on the men’s side. Harvey tells him he’s gotta lose 33 lbs during the show’s run and get rid of 5 lbs. by next weigh-in.
Cledus T. Judd was almost 300 lbs at his heaviest. He’s since lost over 70 lbs. but has developed an eating disorder. The country comedian is afraid to go to a grocery store and avoids eating. Hopefully, Stacy helps him in therapy. He really needs it.
Here’s his stats:
First weigh-in: 214 lbs.
Target: 4 lbs.
Over course of show: 30 lbs.
Body fat: 28.7%
Last, but not least, we have Da Brat. The lady rapper is 172 lbs. She has a bit of a love-hate thing going on with Harvey. (Personally, I think she wants him.) She is adamant about not being ordered around. Da Brat weighs 172 lbs, but is still pretty athletic. She actually challenged the guys in most of the events at Boot Camp. Her body fat is 34.0%
The guys and the gals got weighed on the scales. The men are much bigger at a combined weight of 866 lbs. The girls come in at around 650 combined.
Maybe next week, things’ll get more interesting. At least, Charm School is on immediately following Fit Club.
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