Celebrity Meltdown! - Celebrity Fit Club 4, Episode 4
The Teammate Trade is Just the Beginning
The celebs arrive for their mountainside Fit Camp and get the bad news: it’s time for Trade-a-Teammate. Each team will have to vote off one of their own, and then accept the other team’s castoff.
The teams thus far seem to be pretty harmonious and so no one is very happy to do this. It appears that everyone struggles to make a selection. Angie Stone crosses out her choice so many times, team captain BoneCrusher finally tells her to just write his name down.
BoneCrusher’s team – the Fat Crushers – have to show their votes first. Nick Turturro and Erika Eleniak each vote for each other. Per his instructions, Angie votes for BoneCrusher. With each teammate but Angie with one vote, ANT tells BoneCrusher it’s completely his call. I thought at first he would just break the tie, but in fact, he banishes Angie.
Over on Chili con Carnie’s team, in a surprising decision, Carnie Wilson is voted off her own team! She and Angie trade places. ANT tells the team they will have to select a new team captain and a new name (may I suggest “Chili sin Carnie?”). Vincent Pastore speaks up and says they don’t need to discuss, that Ted Lange should be the new team captain.
For some reason, this off-the-cuff remark throws Angie into a tailspin. She starts to walk off the show, but does come back to ream out Vincent for “disrespecting” her by not consulting with her or Tina before making his comment. While I concede it was not an especially diplomatic – or democratic move – on the part of Vincent, Angie’s response seems somewhat… well… plus-sized.
Little did we know… Ms. Stone is going to be bringing us a rocky ride all night tonight. (Puns are like cookies: you can rarely have just one.) Although ANT manages to wrangle her back to the team, things do not go smoothly with her for the rest of the Fit Camp.
First, her teammates suspect her of smoking in the girls’ room. Next, on the two-mile hike that is their challenge for the Camp, she slows down nearly immediately – she claims due to her congestive heart problems – and drags the rest of her team down with her.
At first Tina and Ted book on ahead, each equally irritated with how their new member is dragging the team down. Vinnie stays behind and walks with her, somewhat empathetic to her plight due to his own experience with heart trouble. She calls for a medic who checks her out but, after delivering some oxygen, seems to give her the all clear for continuing the mild hike.
BoneCrusher is having his own moment of weakness, as he tells his teammates he is not feeling himself. Despite his size, he’s a very physically active man, so his teammates seem to have a bit more patience with him than Chili sin Carnie does with Angie. They rally ‘round the big man, and after a rest, the entire team is able to continue together.
Also catching the vapors of teamwork, Ted has a change of heart and heads back to support Angie. Vinnie, on the other hand, leaves her behind and he and Tina complain about Angie all the way to the finish line, where their team loses to the newly-formed but already tight-knit Fat Crushers.
Angie gets a pep-talk/talking-to from Tina, who points out she needs to be better conditioning herself. BoneCrusher also steps in to try to rally her, but it seems all the attention leaves Angie feeling attacked. She leaves Fit Camp extremely unhappy with the results of the day.
The celebs reconvene at the Castle of Reckoning to meet with the panel and weigh in. Angie is first up. Her goal was a four lbs. loss, but she only loses one. She claims she did well with diet but not exercise, to which a rather incredulous Dr. Smith points out that she ordered a pastrami sandwich for lunch at Fit Camp. She questions why such a meal is available at Fit Club at all, and Dr. Smith reminds her that Fit Club won’t last forever, and she needs to learn to control herself in the real world.
Angie maintains that the workout was too much for her heart, and so Dr. Smith says that they will reevaluate her condition. She was given an enthusiastic all-clear by her cardiologist to participate in the Fit Club activities, so he seems to find it dubious that she is now physically incapable of handling it. The rest of the celebs seem to find it equally difficult to believe what she is saying, and they can’t help but snicker as she rolls out a litany of excuses for each member of the panel. Finally, she’s dismissed.
Next, Chili sin Carnie has to select an actual name for themselves. They select “Hot Buttered Soul” and Tina Yothers as Team Captain. What’s up with all the tasty-food-related names? Aren’t there enough constant reminders of everything they’re not supposed to be eating?
BoneCrusher is up next and he loses four lbs. to bring him down to 397. He also had an interesting workout set up for him this week: sumo wrestling. Although he’s never done it before, with his nearly 200 lbs. of momentum over the sumo expert he’s paired with, he’s able to handle beating the expert in nearly every match. Harvey is impressed! His target for next weigh-in is eight lbs.
Next up is new team captain Tina Yothers. I continue to be skeptical of her ability to lose the big poundage, but once again, her performance is impressive. She doubles her goal of four lbs. to lose eight and bring herself down to 173 lbs. total. She takes a moment on the scale to tell Angie that her father died of heart trouble, so she can’t sit back and not push Angie to make all the positive changes she can. Tina is currently in the lead at this season’s Celeb-I’d-Most-Like-to-Have-a-Beer-With. She continues to be a positive force on the show without resorting to mindless cheerleading.
Next up is Carnie Wilson. “Failure,” ANT tells us, “is not an option” on Celebrity Fit Club, so she and Dr. P. went back this past week to conquer the rock climbing wall that bested her last episode. This time – although she is still frightened – she digs deep and completes the climb. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have quite the same stellar success with her weight loss, losing only three of her four lb. goal. She gets a goal of five lbs. for the next show.
Vinnie steps up to the scale next. He gains two lbs. this week. He says he’s been working out a lot and thinks it’s muscle. Dr. Smith tells him it’s impossible to gain that much muscle in this amount of time. He also calls Vinnie out for his “Vinnie Diet,” which would appear to be less stringent than it needs to be. Dr. P. apparently was the source of this information, and Vinnie calls her a rat. He tries to make a joke out of it, but it’s a pretty hostile thing to say. The panel is put off, and Vinnie takes his seat after getting a target of six lbs.
Now it’s time for dapper Ted Lange to weigh in. Once again, he’s successful, losing his goal of three lbs. The panel is full of admiration as he’s been on the road for much of the past few weeks. He credits his competitive nature for his success. His goal for next week is 3 lbs.
Before the next celeb can weigh in, Vinnie has a question. How come, he wonders, he has to lose six lbs. and Ted only has to lose three?
Oh my, to be a middle-aged man instead of youngish American woman. I didn’t know it was possible to somehow be not completely and utterly intimately knowledgeable of how weight loss works, but I guess if you got to just live your life for 50+ years before ever counting your first calorie (as opposed to say, being on diets before you hit puberty as so many young women are), you might actually not know that the more weight you have to lose, the more you CAN lose at once. So Vincent does not appear to be familiar with this biological tidbit, and so seems to see the target assignments as some sort of punishment/reward. Despite the fact that his weight loss is “slowing down,” they give him this big target, and he seems to think it’s so they can “embarrass” him again.
Part of his rant is ostensibly to defend Angie as well, but the rest of the celebs are not having it. Erika points out it’s simple math, and Ted finally loses his cool and shouts out that for each of them, losing their goal “IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY.”
Angie, who has been visibly chomping at the bit to race out of there, takes Ted shouting right next to her as just the excuse she needs. Mumbling she doesn’t want all the yelling in her ear, she leaves the weigh-in room.
After a moment, Tina heads out after her to try to talk her into returning. Will she? We will have to tune in next week as this one is… TO BE CONTINUED!
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