I can sum up this episode, well, actually, the entire season thusly:
COOTES – Blah, blah, pointing out the obvious, blah, blah, we’re so awesome, blah, blah; our kid is insane, blah blah, zzzzzzzzzzzz.
DISALVATORES – BLAH, BLAH, SCREAM, SCREAM, BLAH, BLAH, SILVIO IS USELESS, BLAH, BLAH, DON’T UNDERESTIMATE US, BLAH, BLAH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
This episode could have been aired in about 40 minutes, as there was a ton of filler material. They replayed scenes from past episodes, but worst of all, they had perhaps the most useless confessionals from any reality show ever. In the course of this season, have either Coote adult said anything in a confessional worth anything? Jen Coote is essentially the show’s narrator; I hope NBC is paying her well. The purpose of those confessionals are 90% to provide insight to what is going on and 10% to explain some things which are confusing (like a complicated Top Chef challenge). Jen Coote tells us what we just saw!
What the Cootes did was turn me completely around with the DiSals. They have driven me nuts all season long, but as the Cootes became more obnoxious and more tedious to watch, I began to appreciate the DiSal wackiness more and more.
My late father had a word for what the Cootes were doing – he called it “chirping.” Meaning too much chatter during a contest by the person winning. The Cootes were seriously chirping. They also made a cardinal error in competition – they took their opponents too lightly. The perfect example is last week’s Keith Coote moment where he mocked Sil on the zip line. Chirping.
As it turns out, the DiSals won because they have smart kids. Keith bragged last week on how his 9-year-old beat the older Pollard kid. However, this week it came back around. The Cootes lost all of their composure and devolved into screaming, not listening, and well, DiSal behavior. Meanwhile, Mason took over the challenge for the DiSals, his parents smartly (that’s right, I said smartly when referring to Ma and Pa DiSal) got out of his way (eventually) and he rocked it.
So what lessons do we take from this? First, NBC cannot develop new reality shows. This one made me miss America’s Toughest Jobs. Second, if you are going to do a competition reality show, it should not be framed around a leisurely trip down the highway. Third, if you are trying for tongue in cheek, make it funnier. Lastly, if you are a reality contestant make sure you have something to say.
Congrats go to the DiSal Family, who according to Sil really needed the money. It was a nice comeback and they deserve all the credit. However, despite what “Sandy” said at the end, I would be surprised to see a Season 2.
So, in closing on GART – I give you comments made by Al from Anchorage, taking an angle on analysis that I would never be able to relate to, and making as good of a snarky remark as I can ever do. Thanks, Al!
“As a former RV owner with 60k RV miles from coast to coast, I am continually amazed that these dumbbells never check their side mirrors as they go blissfully unaware down the highway. And you discover in the first 10 minutes of ownership you never leave items and boxes on tables or counters, and you always close the overheads before pushing off. A prudent owner always checks the outside doors and compartments and tire pressures and scans for oil leaks before leaving as well. Other than the driver, no one attempts to wear a seatbelt. Has Mama ever cooked or do they just eat chips? This is a poorly designed program, which could have been somewhat interesting. They stop in some unique places and are unable to convey a genuine sense of appreciation for these places. Is there an academy of Dumbasses for TV Shows Of No Lasting Value around?”
Word, Al. Word.
|
