Great American Road Trip, July 7 - Forgiving The Amazing Race Family Edition
Great American Road Trip, July 7 Commentary - ... Forgiving The Amazing Race Family Edition
This starts yet another recap of 4th and Long. This episode starts off with a scene of the It took NBC, Andy Richter's dumpier, less talented doppelganger and more stereotypes than you can shake a Michael Bay offensive robot at, but I can finally forgive the Amazing Race: Family Edition. It took the most fake-looking human being ever to come out of Alabama for me to embrace Linda Weaver. It took a family who is able to out-scream, and out “Noo Yawk” the Paolo Family for me to give the Paolos a big hug. I am now fondly remembering the giant office chair, the Great Lakes of New Orleans, and the Evil Red Bean, and welcoming the cursed Season 8 back into the Amazing Race fold.
Because, wow, this show was hard to watch. My wife begged me not to write about it because the screeching emanating from the television set off car alarms all around the neighborhood. The "jokes" told by "Sandy" Richter during the president challenge pulled from the Lazy Presidential Catchphrase Handbook where equally cringeworthy. "Yes We Can" for Obama? Check. A "water" reference for Nixon? Check. "I Did Not Inhale" for Clinton? Check.
Can we talk about how much this show is a patchwork of other better shows? The opening sequence seems to have been cribbed from every opening sequence from the Amazing Race, complete with "Sandy" standing in front of an impressive backdrop of scenery. We have the same lineup of teams ready to start – heck, they even started in Wrigley Field! AR4 took off from Dodger Stadium. We even had a cameo of the Zorb ball first seen in New Zealand during AR5.
Oh, and for Survivor fans – the ripoff from that show is the set up of two challenges for each episode – a reward challenge and a faux-elimination challenge. Challenges that are wicked complex, too. However, I must admit that if you take away “Sandy’s” comments (the man is no Probst), I sort of dug the challenges.
The big problem I see with this show – other than the rather unlikable teams – is that it is NOT a race. Part of the fun of the Amazing Race is the actual frantic racing. What we have here is RV driving combined with Survivor challenges. And about the driving, the groups they have gathered are shaping up to be the worst ugly American travelers you can possibly round up. Further complicating things…badly behaved children and some couples who don’t even seem to like each other. Hoo. Ray.
One disclaimer before I touch on a few points, I refuse to mock children or the teens. I don’t blame them for the bad behavior we see. Well, I sort of do, but I won’t publicly flay them the way I would an adult. The children were either convinced to do this, or if it was their idea, it was their parents fault for not saying the obvious sentence, “No, we are not going to subject our family to national scrutiny and ridicule so we can take a trip that we can take at any time for a rather small cost in order to win (at most after taxes) about a year’s salary.” That’s the parents’ fault – so they will get mocked.
The Families – I have included the names of the family members whose names I saw during the show. I refuse to do further research on this show or go back and watch it again:
Pollard Family – From Wicksburg, AL. They are the stereotype rednecks. We have all the ingredients. Chasing chickens. Showing the kids guns. Heavily made-up face of the mom. Never seeing a big city and craning their necks at the Sears Tower. Names: Mom-Amie, and no one else got credit!
Rico Family – from Katy, TX. They seem somewhat normal. At least for now. Mom is the resident beautiful woman on the show. And she is quite beautiful. She calls her husband a Mexican Clark Griswold. So this makes her Beverly D’Angelo. Nothing wrong with that. Names: Mom-Erica. No one else. But really, she’s all we need.
DiSalvatore Family – from Yonkers, NY. Sigh. Did we really need another pox on the House of Yonkers so soon after the last Mole edition? This is the family that makes the Paolos look like the Cleavers. Silvio looks like a cartoon with his coiffed hair and cheesy moustache. Amy the Mom is like Mama Paolo in volume and attitude, but boy, she actually seems more annoying if that is possible. She also did the thing that irks me about New Yorkers – she prefaced being confrontational with “I’m from New York.” I hate that – not all of us from the Empire State are like that. Names: Dad-Silvio, Mom-Amy, no kid names.
Faverey Family – from Long Island, NY. Not Little Neck. Not Oyster Bay. The whole friggin Island. Dad had one of the funniest moments in the show for me when the whole crew is bickering and he is blocking out the chatter, remembering that it is not a race and just driving calmly. Calmness. A staple in reality programming. Names: Dad-I must have missed it, Mom-Dee, Daughter-Ashley, Son-No idea, but he has some awesome hair.
Montgomery Family – from Montclair, CA. Not much to say about them. They got no screen time until they absolutely ROCKED the final challenge. Names: Dad-Darius, Son-Darius Ross, Other Son-Tyler, didn’t see Mom.
Coote Family – from Lockport, IL. They have a little boy that will seriously test my No Mocking Children policy. Seriously test it. However, despite Amy DiSal’s insistence, they did not cheat. Names: Mom-Jennifer, didn’t catch anyone else.
Katzenberg Family – from Westport, CT. Instantly I thought, “Wow! Jeffrey Katzenberg has sunk down to this?” But it's not Jeffrey. Just a different grossly rich family from Westport. And not really a family yet either, as they are just an engaged single mom and single dad about to become a family. And that seven karat ring? Not making me feel too badly about your elimination. Names: Dad-Mark, Mom-Hyleria(?), Son-Andrew, Daughter-Sami. Interesting, no one else got each family member’s names out there.
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