Last Nut Standing: Flavor of Love 3, Finale
Night cap DENIED
Break out your puke pails—it’s time for the season finale, and series finale supposedly, of Tastes Like Crazy. Wow, this season took forever. Did you know that there were only fourteen episodes plus one recap show. Fifteen weeks seem like an eternity. Flav finally finds his one true love as long as the cameras are on. There’s an idea. Flav should have cameramen follow him and whomever he chooses around for the rest of their lives so she thinks they’re still on television. Kinda like The Truman Show.
Through the powers of magic and VH1 writing, Thing 2 is in France with Flav, Black, and Sinceer. Ew, ew, ew. We begin with lots of mackin it. I still don’t understand why Thing 2 came back on the show. If a guy tells me to get out and then flies around the world with three other women, I don’t up and answer his beck and call. He’s gotta beg. Anyway, the girls all get some champagne and climb in the limo to end the ceremony. Sinceer tries to make up with Thing 2 but Thing 2 doesn’t trust her at all. They bicker with Black stuck in the middle of the seat. Black takes sides with Thing 2 because Thing 2 is right.
The next day, the women eat breakfast on the rooftop. Flav shows up and says, Good evening, because he’s used to seeing them at night. Heeheeee. He tells them that he’s made connections with them and it’s hard to let one go. He has three tickets in his pocket, one for Paris, one for Monaco, and one for L. A. He tells Thing 2 his lifestyle is crazy and gives her the ticket to Paris. That’s a start to make up for booting her off in the first place.
Flav wants each Black and Sinceer to tell him why she should go to Monaco and not go home. Sinceer says that she’s let him know what everyone else says. Black says that Sinceer paints a bad picture of everyone else. Now here’s something surprising. Black and Sinceer shout at each other, bickering about who’s real and who’s fake and who’s better. Blah dee blah blah. Bloopity bloop bloop. This is so old. Flav takes off his jacket, realizing this is going to take a while. Thing 2 looks on quietly. Flashback to NY and Hoopz fighting in the first season.
Flav stops them and says the whole thing is about who he’s romantically connected to. He says his connection to Sinceer is unbelievable and she’s genuine, but he’s more romantical with Black. Black goes to Monaco and Sinceer, even though she’s the bomb and he has feelings for her, goes home. Sinceer tells him to make the right choice.
Black and Flav go to Monaco while Sinceer and Thing 2 are still at the breakfast table. Sinceer tells Thing 2 that she’s happy Thing came back and wants her to win. Flav and Black mack it in the helicopter. They land and hop into an old fashioned Excaliber car which Black calls Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Flav falls asleep on their drive and it looks so uncomfortable. She wakes him up when they get to the Royal Riviera, a traditional French villa.
Two hours later, they have dinner. I. Am. So. Bored. Black has on a glittery black dress and she’s stunning. He gives her a pink watch that’s heart-shaped and has diamonds. Oh, man. More mackin. Now I’m bored and a little throwy-uppy. He asks her questions from a list he’d written. What does she like to do for fun? Travel. Tell him a joke. She stares at him because she can’t think of any. What would their lives be like together? All good, keepin it real, and no problems. He will treat her child like his own. He asks her to come to his room for a nightcap. Of course she goes. Of course, I get much use of my puke pail. Wow Black interviews that it’s been the most romantical day of her life. That’s not a word, people!
Thing 2 and Flav fly to Paris. They laugh and talk and when they land, they get into a limo with a sunroof. They pop out of the top and he waves and shouts at everyone. Everyone loves him and knows him. Wow, he’s big in Paris. They go to a double decker bus for a tour where they see the Seine, the Louvre, and a police station. Splice in some footage of Flav’s arrest from years ago. Notre Dame. Eiffel Tower. Unfortunately for them, they have to put a blanket over themselves because it’s chilly. They mack it, ruining the Eiffel Tower for me. He hops out, buys some flowers, and by some I mean a shitload, and brings them back to Thing 2. Nice gesture, but really what’s she gonna do with all that, especially since she has no vase?
They arrive at Raphael where lots of Frenchmen speak to them in French. In a few hours, they have dinner. Again, boring. He gives her the same watch he gave to Black. He tells her that after he kicked her out, he was haunted by her “but why Flav?” she said to him when she left. Then he pulls out his question list. What does she do for fun? Eat. Amusement parks. Bowling. Tell him a joke. What did Flav say when two houses fell on him? Get off me, homes! Okay, that’s funny. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese! Heeheheeeeee! He asks her to join him for a nightcap. She asks if she can be honest. She says no. Good! So so so good! She says she can’t afford to be hurt again. Good! Viking Flav reminds us that no girl has ever said no to a nightcap in the history of Tastes Like Crazy. Good for Thing 2.
Flav thinks about elimination. We flashback to everything we just saw a few minutes ago at the beginning stages of this episode in case we passed out from boredom, hit our heads, and lapsed into a state of amnesia. Flav feels like a king and needs a castle and he’s looking for his queen. The ladies pull up to the castle for the final elimination. The last elimination ceremony for Flav ever.
Elimination Ceremony Time!!!
Flav tells Black and Thing 2 that it’s been a long journey. Yes, it has. Too long. He knows that there’s things they want to say, so he’s going to let them speak first. They stand there and stare.
Black says that what they have is for real and she can feel it. She’s scared but he’s got a good woman in her. She needs him to believe in her. He says that she makes him tingle and he can’t deny their connection.
Thing 2 says that she knows he had his doubts about her but he gave her a chance and took a chance on her and he changed her life in a way nobody ever did. She would be honored to see the rest of the world with him. He thinks that’s huge for her to say, but really, he changed everyone’s life. They’re all on tv because of him.
Flav says that it comes down to chemistry and connections. He tells Black that his heart jumps when he looks at her. But his heart belongs to Thing 2. He tells Black that she’s great but the connection he has with Thing 2 is stronger. Black’s time is up.
Black/Candace post interviews that she was her.
Thing 2 runs up to Flav and they mack it a whole lot. She post interviews that she’s excited and there’s no season four. Viking Flav interviews that she’s got his back. He gives her gold teeth. He yells, Flavor Flav! She yells, Flavor Flav!
And so it goes, so it goes. The House of Nuts is now closed and Tastes Like Crazy is officially over. For real this time. Because the love is real. Can’t you feel it? Real as can be. For reality tv.
Reunion next week, but I can already tell you what happens. A lot of people yell at each other. Flav yells out his own name.
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| Poster |
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| Jamie |
Posted: 2008/5/20 9:12 Updated: 2008/5/20 9:12 |
Writer   Joined: 2008/2/21 From: Orland Park, IL Posts: 70 |
 Finale "He says that she makes him tingle and he can’t deny their connection."
They all make me tingle...I assumed that was the beginning of the stroke triggered by exposure to the horrific "romantical" moments.
Should one pursue true love or call their cardiologist? Sometimes that's a hard call to make.
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