Drunk Daddies and Baby Mamas: Flavor of Love 3, Episode 12
Too long. This season is way too long.
Really, is anyone watching anymore? The only reason I watch is to see Big Rick. Can VHDumb set up a show with him please? Actually, scratch that. I don’t want anyone at VH1 getting at Big Rick. Maybe a more reputable network like Oxygen or E! can do a show with him.
Big Rick calls the girls down to read the Flav-O-Gram. He always looks so dapper. Each of them need to choose a bedroom and then they need to clean the house because their parents are staying over in the mansion.
Black is going to clean even though no one from her family will come to see her. She wonders if she’ll be eliminated because of it.
The toilet is clogged. Seesinz says it’s nasty because Hotlanta was drunk all the time and used to get sick in it. So it’s been clogged for that long? So gross. They put on rubber gloves and wrap bandanas around their noses and they plunge away. Gag gag gag gag gag. Then they flush and it’s all okay again. Then they douse the toilet with an industrial amount of air freshener.
Big Rick greets Thing 2’s parents. He introduces himself as Flav’s assistant. I love him. Thing 2 is excited to see her parents. Flav comes down with his hair up in horns and a cream suit on. He invites them into the living room and explains how he got Thing 2’s nickname from The Cat And The Hat. In the Hat? And the Hat? Hmm, I really don’t know.
Sinceer’s dad arrives next. He asks her if Flav has been treating her well. Flav comes in and Mr. Sinceer asks if Flav knows what time it is. That’s pretty funny. Mr. Sinceer says he likes to get his drink on, too, much like his daughter. Flav asks if he wants something so he goes for a beer. Flav promises that there will never be a bad moment for Sinceer when she’s with him. Maybe except for when their plane went down. Then Mr. Sinccer asks for some Hennessey too.
Big Rick lets in Seesinz’s parents next. Flav comes to meet them and her dad says that it’s all interesting. Her mom asks him about the clock. He says time is important. Then she asks him about his intentions with their daughter. Seesinz sits between them with a nervous smile. Flav says he doesn’t want to get married until he knows his partner and now he’s looking for a partner. Then her mom asks how many seasons of the show has he been on, has he been married, and does he have children, and how many baby mamas but she doesn’t need to know. She’s scared that he has children and no marriage and what if what if what if, and then her daughter’s pregnant and pre-marital and....I guess she thinks her daughter is a virgin. I wonder if she is. Well, I mean I don’t care personally, but that’s an interesting question since Flav macks it with everyone on the show. Flav don’t roll like that but he will have an honest answer for everything. He wants to settle down with the next woman he has a child with so he’s going to do it all in the opposite order this time around.
Flav takes the Sinceers and the Things bowling. He’s got his hair in a high top. He teaches Mrs. Thing how to bowl. Mr. Thing gets a strike. They all have a grand time. Mr. Sinceer is having a problem getting a strike. Flav feels awkward kissing the girls in front of their parents but Sinceer and Thing 2 stand on either side of him kissing and the parents don’t care. Now that’s weird. Thing 2 can’t bowl at all. Then Sinceer walks all the way up the lane and throws the ball and still misses. Then Thing 2 miraculously hits some pins down. While Sinceer bowls, Thing 2 makes out with him. So then Sinceer bowls a strike to get his attention. So are they good at bowling or not? Now the two of them start to get catty. They may be friends, but they want the same man so they’ll stab their friends in the back to get him.
After the bowling date, Flav takes the Seesinz and Black to mini-golfing. Fun!!! Mr. Seesinz and Flav get some bonding in over aiming and putting. Flav asks him for his autograph.
Back at home, Mrs. Thing talks to Thing 2 about her friendship with Sinceer. She thinks that Thing 2 has a problem standing on her own. Flav shouldn’t think that she can’t stand on her own. She needs to separate herself because of the competition. Sinceer overhears the conversation and is hurt. She thinks she can out-strategize the two of them.
They sit to eat lunch and Mrs. Seesinz is making a mess ang Flav jokes that messes are made to make! He’s so funny! Mrs. Seesinz says that from interacting with him today, she sees that he’s a pretty good guy. He admits that he’s not the best guy, but he’s certainly not the worst.
Then Flav pulls aside Black to talk to her about why no one at all could come out. Her mom is going though a custody battle so the attorney said her mom shouldn’t leave the house. Her grandparents are too old to come. That’s satisfying enough of an answer so they mack it. A lot. A lot a lot.
Back at the house later, Big Rick calls everyone down to dinner. Mr. Sinceer is drinking already. Flav arrives in a lime green suit and says he came out of an Easter egg. Although I’m in no way physically attracted to him, I love his personality. He’s so genuine. Oh my God. Ew. Am I falling for Flavor Flav? Ick. Anyway, his mom makes a surprise appearance—she introduces them to Anna Drayton (I think that’s what he said). She’s wearing green, too. He makes a toast to his mom, thanking her for having him.
During dinner, Mr. Thing tells a story about Things 1 and 2 when they were younger and how one of them thought they were ugly and they look the same. Sinceer doesn’t enjoy the story because it’s entertaining. Mr. Sinceer is drunk and says the word “do” a lot and tells Flav that he can have a fourth season of the show and then says a lot of numbers and I don’t understand what he’s saying. Sinceer thinks that her father’s offending people and it might affect her negatively. Her dad says that everyone is too serious.
Mrs. Thing says that it’s difficult to find qualities in other individuals. I have no idea what she’s talking about. Flav decides to give everyone a chance to say nice things about each other. Black says that she doesn’t have any issues with anyone. She tells Seesinz she has class.
Seesinz tells Thing 2 that she comes from a wonderful background. She tells Sinceer that her children are beautiful and she respects her for taking a chance to go after her heart.
Sinceer tells Seesinz that she’s pretty and that she’s trying to squash their beef. She says a backhanded compliment by saying Seesinz has a hard time letting go of their beef. Then Sinceer tells Thing 2, well, she huffs and breathes heavy, looks down at her lap. She says that Thing 2 is sincere. Mr. Sinceer makes everyone clap.
Everyone moves into the bar and living room area for dessert. Mrs. Drayton tells everyone that her spirit agreed with everyone’s in the room. She says that they are all winners. She’s so cute. They all say goodbye and she congratulates everyone. Flav hugs her and says he loves her.
Flav tells the parents to go home. They need to be out before elimination. That’s different from last time. Sinceer finds Flav to tell him that Thing 2 isn’t strong enough for him. Flav wishes Sinceer good luck with eliminations which is weird because luck isn’t involved as much as Flav is because he’s making the decisions. Flav finds Thing 2 and tells her what Sinceer said and her response is “no, uh-uh, mmm” which is a very convincing argument and she should be on a debate team.
Thing 2 goes upstairs and confronts Sinceer. She tells Sinceer that everyone told her to stay away from Sinceer because Sinceer is a backstabber. Sinceer says she never said that Thing 2 is a follower. Sinceer basically lies and says that the whole conversation with Flav came from Flav’s concerns about Thing 2 being strong enough. Wow, Sinceer is delusional. She most likely believes her own lies.
Elimination Ceremony Time!
Flav arrives with much cranial adornment. He tells them that they’re the closest people to him who have been in the house. That would be why they’re the final four. That’s how it works. He tells Seesinz that she’s feeling realer to him now and he wants to know how real really feels.
He gives the first clock to Seesinz because his mom liked her and he can see her being part of the family.
Flav says he knows it’s difficult to be alone. He gives Black a clock and is looking forward to taking her international. Oh, that’s right. The three left are going to France.
Thing 2 and Sinceer are left. Flav recaps the conversation they have before about Thing 2 coattailing it the whole way through. The girls start bickering about who follows whom. Some fingers start waving. Wow, Black is orange—she stands by looking at her shoes. Seesinz looks on with amusement. They screech a lot.
Finally, Flav tells them he loves them both and one of them must leave. He asks each of them if they would still love him if they had to leave him and they say yes. That’s a dumb question and a stupid answer. Sinceer interviews that she would snip off his testicles if he sent her home. Flav gives Sinceer the last clock. I bet he wouldn’t have done that if he heard the interview about his balls.
Thing 2 cries and Flav hopes they can be friends. Thing 2/Tricia post-interviews that it hurts because she opened up her heart which is hard for her to do. Sinceer says it sucks to lose a friend but all that matters is her vagina getting poked by Flav’s penis in the near future.
This all means that Sinceer, Black, and Seesinz are heading to Paris, France with Flavor Flav. Finally, that has to make for some good entertainment. Baguettes, French fries, and French people as Flav says. He’s forgetting French toast, French kiss, Frenchy from Grease, and French dressing. Ahh, something to look forward to. I hope Big Rick goes to France, too. He deserves it.
What kind of international incident should we expect? Email me. Chat in the forums.
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