by LauraBelle
What happens when the silver spoon is yanked from the mouth? We're about to find out as we follow David Foster's family all season on Princes of Malibu.
As the song Free Ride introduces the show, we learn Grammy winning producer, David Foster, is married to songwriter Linda Thompson, who once had a relationship with Elvis, then married athlete Bruce Jenner. David and Linda now live in a Malibu mansion with Linda's sons Brody and Brandon and Brody's friend, Spencer, a permanent houseguest.
Brandon and Brody were born into this lap of luxury and know no difference. At twenty-one and twenty-three years old, it's time for them to mature and learn some responsibility. Linda wants to continue to coddle them, but David is tired of supporting them and wants them to at least get jobs.
While David and Linda are on vacation in Mexico City, they decide over margueritas to come home a day early and talk to Brandon and Brody about changing their expensive lifestyle. Linda calls home from the limo to let the boys know they arrived safely as she knows they like to know those things.
The difference between Tom Cruise's Risky Business character and Brandon and Brody is that Tom Cruise hosts a party in his parents home to raise money. Brandon and Brody just spend it hosting Brody's twenty-first birthday party. Brandon misses his mom's call because he's playing guitar on stage at the party. Brody misses his mom's call because he's busy jumping into the pool with women.
Once David and Linda arrive home, David flips his lid seeing the extravagant party. As he runs around screaming at the party-goers to get out, Linda greets the family dog with loving kisses. The most interesting guest turns out to be Walter, the groundskeeper. David asks why he's there since he is supposed to be on break.
"But doesn't the house look amazing?" Linda asks. All David can concentrate on, though, are five annoyances he finds on his way into the house. The first is that someone has parked in his parking spot. But you weren't supposed to be home yet, David. Why would that matter?
The next thing he finds is all the lights have been left on while everyone was outside. I think it's my dad or husband walking through the house. David's third annoyance is "all this crap" left throughout the house. The fourth is someone else's clothes in his closet and the last is that the water is left running. Yep! It's either my dad or husband!
The next day David and Linda decide it's time for a family meeting with the boys. They will tell them the free ride is over. David and Linda can't quite decide on the terms, though. David wants to tell the boys no more going to their favorite restaurant several times a week, as it's the most expensive in California, and he thinks probably the world too. Linda argues it's okay because it's healthy food. He will tell the boys to "get a [expletive deleted] job". The profane word is blocked out by the word "farming."
The family meeting is called, but the rooster hasn't woken Brandon and Brody up yet, and it's 2:17. At 2:58 they finally rise to greet the day ... and their parents. They aren't the only ones. Spencer decides to join the meeting as well.
Spencer serves a glass of orange juice to David, but is still told to beat it. David minces no words as he tells Brandon and Brody they need to get jobs. Brandon says he has a job playing drums. David, the music mogul, says Brandon's music is recreation, not a job. He also points out he paid for Brandon's expensive band equipment, and Brandon says he didn't ask for this life. But I asked for it, and I didn't get it.
The boys and Spencer reflect on their stepfather's wishes by swimming, golfing and joining other friends at a sushi restaurant. Not sure if this is the infamous "most expensive in California" but the group's bill adds up to $700, and are shocked when the waitress tells them their father has closed their account there. After slapping down their credit card that has also been refused, the kids at the table, whose parents have a combined net worth of a half billion dollars, come up $622 short.
David walks in on the three boys hanging out with some girls and asks the girls to leave. The boys have poor math skills on top of all this and figure if it costs $500,000 to $1,000,000 to run the mansion, that it works out to $10,000 monthly. After David asks them to pay him $10,000 for rent monthly, Brody asks how he is supposed to live paying $10,000 a month. Ummm, Brody, that's kind of the point David is trying to make. The boys want to pay $1000 to $1500 a month and David then asks for $3000.
With their collective seven semesters of college, the boys conjure up a great business plan for themselves. They decide to host a car wash with bikini clad girls. Perhaps they have never seen Risky Business, and don't know the women would earn more money if they were turning tricks. For some reason, Walter, still on break, is there watching. Even Linda strips down to her bikini and joins in to help the boys earn money for their rent.
David arrives home for a meeting and can't get into his driveway, and can't see what the holdup is. Also not able to get through is the person he's supposed to be meeting with, Chaka Khan. She says she's been waiting there for an hour to attend a meeting with David Foster. Spencer rises to the challenge and shuttles Chaka to the house in the golf cart.
David finally tires of waiting and walks up to see what the holdup is. He looks at Spencer and says he knows he's behind it somehow. David starts spouting about he's supposed to be having a meeting with Chaka Khan and has no idea where she is now. Spencer pleads his case and excitedly tells David how he shuttled Chaka to the house. Linda tries to calm David down and tells him he needs to pick his battles. One of the bikini clad girls then sprays David with the hose.
The Fosters and Jenners provided a lot of entertainment, but I have to admit to feeling at times like I was watching a sitcom and not a reality TV series. It certainly wasn't coincidental that the day the show starts is when the boys are hosting an elaborate twenty-first birthday party. It had very much the same feel of Growing Up Gotti, even the same scripted voiceover by the parent. Scripted or not, still entertaining. Maybe it will be next week that we see the boys dancing in their underwear to Bob Seger.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? I take 'em at LauraBelle@realityshack.com
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