What Does it Take to Get Fired? - Fire Me, Please, Episode 4by Syrone Harvey
Part 1 - The first half of Fire Me, Please offered a repeat of a show previously aired on June 7, 2005. Since the competition between contestants Kurt Basa and Katie Wise has already been recapped, feel free to check out the posting titled, Pass the Pink Slip. Though, after watching it a second time around, I have to admit there were quite a few funny parts I hadn’t noticed before. Hats off to Kurt Basa who not only scored by winning the $25,000 but managed to have the local police called in because of his wild and crazy behavior. He was certifiably hilarious. Big kudos also to Katie for her stellar performance at Julia’s Clothing Boutique. Certainly, the supervisors of both businesses have learned a huge lesson in carefully screening any potential new employees.
Part 2 - The second half of Fire Me, Please was totally moronic! Competitors Rob Federhigi, a Real Estate Broker from Chicago, Illinois and Ya Ping Pizzo, a PR Consultant from Seattle, Washington were unbelievably funny in their short employment stints. Host Dave Holmes reminded us of the goal: to get fired the closest to 3:00 without going over. Of course, contestants cannot ask to be fired, do anything illegal, or reveal that they are on a reality TV show. Here’s what happened:
Ya Ping Pizzo should’ve entered Alturo’s Brick Oven Pizza wearing a warning sign: “Caution! Disaster approaching!" She arrived as a mild mannered, sweet employee but had inside had the potential of a dangerous tornado. First she meets supervisor Dan who can’t stand repeated mistakes, is a stickler for sanitary conditions and doesn’t tolerate anyone eating behind the counter. Ping, as she is called, starts things off with a bang. Offering to take the chairs down from the tables she proceeds to bang them loudly against the floor. She heads straight for the soda dispenser and helps herself to a drink. When a pizza delivery order comes in by fax, Dan tells her to retrieve it. She takes a gob of chewing gum out of her mouth and uses it to tack the order onto the countertop (so it won’t slip off). Dan sees it and warns her not to chew gum while working.
At Summit Ski and Sport, Rob Federhigi arrives anxious to begin working. He meets co-workers Sandy, Chris and Laura and finally Jack, the boss. Although it takes a lot to make Jack lose it, his pet peeves are people who aren’t team players and people who act like ding bats. Rob admits he doesn’t have any experience with skiing. Jack tells him that as long as he has a brain he is capable of doing the job. Chris tries to show him the differences between skis. Rob assumes skis are sold by length when Chris mentions how skis should never go over the head of a customer. Rob tells him that skis have gone over his head many times as he’s crashed. Chris shakes his head and tells Jack that Rob is an idiot and the dumbest person he’s ever talked to. (Uh oh! He made that assumption after one conversation.) As the guys are talking, Sandy watches Rob as he picks things up, tries things on and finally sniffs a ski boot.
Ping is hard at work making, rather, picking at pizza ingredients. She announces that she’s hungry then takes a pinch of cheese and pops it into her mouth. Meanwhile she multi tasks by chatting with co-worker Reeve and dipping her finger into the tomato sauce. Reeve gives her a stunned look. When she pops a sun dried tomato into her mouth Dan catches her and says she can’t do that. Again she’s totally oblivious.
Rob continues acting goofy. He asks Chris if they’ve fired anyone before. He answers, “It would take something totally stupid.” Rob takes this as his cue. He plops on a ski helmet, dark sun glasses and elbow guards. Jack appears humored and asks Rob if he is preparing for a psychological evaluation. Rob wonders if he is fitting in. Jack says so far he is. Jack takes Chris aside and tells him that Rob is either fitting in really well or they’re going to have to get rid of him.
Ya Ping is confused. She listens as Reeve answers a call by saying, “Bricks”. Ping asks her why she said, “Brooks”. Reeve says, “I didn’t say “Brooks” I said, “Bricks.” Ping asks, “Well, who is Brooks?” Reeve attempts to explain the name of the place is Alturo’s Brick Oven Pizza, but they call it “Bricks.” Ping makes things worse and answers the phone and says, “Ar Too Ro’s.” Reeve again corrects her but Ping messes things up and says, “All Too Lo’s.” Reeve is about ready to choke Ping. She answers the phone again and this time says, “Brooks Oven Pizza.” Reeve appears to throw in the towel.
Rob is asking a lot of questions. He wants to know what the belt on the goggles are used for. He also asks what the “sticks” are for. Chris explains that they are ski poles. Then Rob takes two skis and rubs them together making an annoying “zoop, zoop” sound. Chris says he thinks Rob is a butthead and has probably never skied before. Sandy rolls her eyes and says Rob probably has chicken fights in his basement. They watch in disbelief as Rob binds his knees together with pads and then binds his elbows together with pads. They wonder how he managed to get hired. They agree that they can use an idiot who can ski but not an idiot who can’t ski.
Nibbling on the pizza ingredients is tiring work. Ping stretches as Reeve tries to show her how to use the register. Ping gets a kick out of banging the pen onto the screen instead of using a lighter touch. Reeve warns her to be gentler. She fills up another cup of soda. Her co-worker reminds her that she’s not supposed to drink or eat behind the counter. In reply, Ping lets out a champion size belch. So much for being discreet.
Rob is becoming an oddball. He has found some colorfully crazy head gear and is proudly modeling it as he works. His fellow co-workers are trying to come up with a good way to get rid of him.
At the pizza place Dan tries to show Ping how to make pizza. He has her rolling out dough but she makes a huge mess spilling shredded cheese all over the floor. Back at the pizza prep counter Ping continues to pick and nibble as she goes along. She suddenly coughs all over the pizza. Dan tells her she needs to turn her head or something when she coughs. (I sure hope he tossed out that pizza)
Rob is getting worse by the minute. Choosing another bright head gear, he accessorizes it with a ski mask and socks on his hands. He looks like a space alien. Sandy thinks Rob should be working for the post office and admits he is scaring her. (I’d be scared too) Chris thinks he’s looney tunes. A customer cautiously approaches Rob and asks whether they carry soccer gear. Rob is clueless. He does paperwork with socks on his hands. Jack calmly suggests that he “lose the get up.” His co-workers think he is over the edge.
When Ping takes a break her fellow co-workers pull Dan aside and tell him that Ping continues to pick and nibble at the food and drinks soda while working behind the counter. Once she returns from break Dan reminds her that she can’t eat or talk to the customers with anything in her mouth. (Hmm, maybe she didn’t hear him?) She casually takes the gum from her mouth and begins stretching and playing with it as she helps a customer. When Dan asks if she is chewing gum she says it was just a piece of sun dried tomato. He tells her again that she’s not supposed to eat when she’s behind the counter. Dan has the patience of a dozen saints.
Rob is having a blast trying on head gear. Donning one with spikes, he heads downstairs looking for Jack. It is 2:48. Upstairs his co-workers are guessing that Jack is probably yelling at Rob and firing him, but….Jack gives Rob yet another chance to figure things out.
At the same time Ping is doing her best to get fired. She coughs all over the drinks she is filling. Reeve tells her she needs to dump them out. She says, “Why??” (Duh! Maybe because you coughed all over the drinks?!?) Dan warns her for the billionth time about picking and coughing all over the food. He says he is tired of telling her things. She accidentally breaks a pizza trying to take it from the oven. Dan tells her she needs to make another one. She picks at it and tastes it instead. He has reached frustration point.
At 3:00 neither of the contestants has gotten fired. The winner will be the one who ends up being fired the closest to 3:00.
Ping nibbles a piece of anchovy and Dan catches her. At 3:02 and 41 seconds Dan tells her she is fired. Ping is so excited she thanks him, gives him a big hug then dashes out.
Meanwhile, Rob pushes Jack and says he has to sell things the way he wants. Jack tells him he is willing to let him sell as he wants, as long as he remembers he is supposed to report to him. (Jack) He tells him that he has a good chance of things working out unless he argues with him. At 3:04 Jack takes a phone call while Rob hangs out and waits for him to finish.
Both contestants meet with Dave Holmes to determine the winner. He announces that Ping is the winner since she was fired the closest to 3:00. They both made history by remaining employed after the 3:00 deadline.
As they each return to reveal being on Fire Me, Please they are greeted with good hearted laughter. Fortunately, everyone understands and is relieved to find out they were all a part of an elaborate hidden camera prank.
This concludes the short airing of Fire Me, Please. So far no plans have been made for CBS to continue the program. It had a bit of a rough start, but all in all, the concept was a cool slant and a pleasant change from the usual. “You’re fired!!!” It was music to my ears.
What did you think about Fire Me, Please? I would love to hear from you. You can reach me at Syrone@realityshack.com
|
|
