Cue the Hunks - Average Joe: The Joes Strike Back, Episode 2 by Hildee Weiss
Greetings, my fellow Joe fans. I thought the premiere episode of Average Joe 4 was a hit but that was until tonight’s episode!
The second episode begins with a recap of last week’s show. We hear voice-overs from various Joes, expressing their wishes for a shot at romance with Anna. Next, the audience is treated to a fine musical rendition of “Oh What A Beautiful Morning” on the pots and pans from the follicly challenged Dante. It’s six in the morning and Dante wants everyone to wake up for some strategizing! As Dante lays out his plans for I don’t know what, a NASCAR commercial interrupts our previously scheduled program. But wait. It’s not an advertisement for NASCAR. It’s the seven hunks, driving through the desert in red sports cars and revved up to steal Anna away from the Joes.
Jason and Igor think Dante is crazy for taking the game so seriously. Igor, for one, does not want to waste the day away. So instead, he is going to lounge around the pool. (Makes sense to me!) The guys agree that Dante needs psychiatric help.
Anna is off to Sea World for a group date with some of the Joes. It’s the typical fun day at the water park with roller coaster rides and a tumble down a log ride. Chuck comments that something stinks. It’s Dante’s sandals and in Dante’s own opinion, his secret weapon! After all, smelly sandals are the best way to eliminate the other Joes. I hate to break it to you, Dante, but it’s also a master plan to eliminate Anna!
Apparently, Anna isn’t too bothered by Dante’s odor eaters because she’s letting Dante do all of the talking. None too pleased, Chuck and Igor grab at Anna for a chance to talk as well. Anna shares in her confessional that all three guys are coming on way too strong and they need to back off!
Back at the desert, the hunks are driving like maniacs while speaking in voice-overs. Brad can only imagine the look of despair when he and the other guys walk through the door! The oh so humble Carson warns that Anna won’t be able to take her eyes off of him.
Anna and her Joes are having a blast at the Shamu stadium. Anna picks Nathan to touch Shamu, which is, apparently, similar to getting the final rose at rose ceremony. (Darn…I’m thinking of the wrong show!) She says she picked Nathan because he’s a quiet guy and he seems sweet. Aw shucks! Everyone in the audience claps as Nathan hugs Shamu. “I feel good,” confides Nate. Sure, my spandex suited friend…you’ve been fondled by Moby Dick! On a serious note, though, Nathan shares his hope that he gets another chance to talk to Anna.
The hunks are back on the road, having some mighty deep thoughts about their imminent encounter with the Joes. “It’s game over,” announces Craig. Josh the hunk (as opposed to Josh the Average Joe) cites that “beautiful people surround themselves with beautiful people.” And Mike cautions that he is the bad boy so watch out!
Anna needs some help in choosing her one on one date so she enlists the mother of all experts – a sea lion. The Dear Abby to the wet and whaly proceeds to screech at various Joes before showing her pearly whites to Aaron, the PhD student. Apparently, Jason has had way too many rejections from the ladies because he remarks that this is the best rejection he’s ever had!
Anna and Aaron enjoy their first date, playing in the water with the dolphins. They exchange kisses, sip wine and discuss their childhood. Aaron admits that yes, he was a geek in high school. Aaron quickly gets over his shyness around Anna because before you know it, he’s fondling her bra straps. Memo to Aaron: you might have been a geek but you knew what you were doing!
It’s after three in the morning and Dante is snoring away. The unforgiving Joes in the house recall his Farberware medley and promptly duct tape him to his bed.
Josh, Gino, Igor, Dante, Clay and Dan are picked for a group date with Anna on the Malibu waters. Josh feels that he needs to get some alone time with Anna before it’s too late. Meanwhile, Chuck is packing his bags at the house and saying goodbye to Jason. He admits he’s leaving the house for a personal matter but doesn’t say what it is. Next, we see Anna and the guys throwing themselves onto an inner tube. Dante provides the comic relief as he attempts the leap not once, not twice but 20 times!
After drying off, the group gathers on the boat for a deep discussion. Dante wants to know what each person would bring on a deserted island. A case of condoms, Igor pipes in. The guys are ticked off, especially Clay. He thinks it’s disrespectful to talk like that in front of a lady. Privately, Anna asks Igor if he’s always “on.” Igor assures Anna that he knows when it’s time to get serious.
For her next one on one date, Anna chooses Gino, the pest control guy. A very relieved Gino kisses Anna on both cheeks before they take off for their boat ride. Gino says he likes that Anna has a round face. Apparently, it’s a compliment in Italy but for a model looking for love, it’s a definite no-no. Gino is a goner though. He says he has been struck by Cupid and this is the best date of his life.
The hunks continue full speed ahead as one guy asks himself, “who will Anna pick? Some big, old hairy guy or me?” How dare he insult Dante without having gotten to know him first?!
While on the group date, Anna spends some alone time with the different Joes. Nathan and Anna discuss his romantic history, which is apparently nada. Though Arthur monopolizes Anna with all his talk about his favorite song, she invites him to join her on a date at a hotel. Anna likes that Arthur is old school and that he digs Sinatra. The duo enjoy a candlelit dinner, with Arthur comparing Anna to Jessica Simpson. The couple retire to the pool, where Anna proceeds to teach Arthur some dog commands in her native tongue. Oh yes, Arthur is the perfect pooch as he learns how to say “kiss” in Polish! And what a quick learner Arthur is as he and Anna play a game of tongue hockey. Anna thinks that Arthur is great…he makes her laugh and he knows how to treat a lady. Arthur shows a serious side as he shares with Anna that he is divorced and he had given up on love before he met Anna. Arthur turns even more poker-faced as he presents her with the red dice he’s been holding in his jacket pocket for the past two years. He says there is no need for a good luck charm anymore, as he has had his time with Anna.
While the racing hunks park their cars and head for a session of pumping iron, Anna arrives all dolled up on the beach to send four Joes home. We hear all about how she hates the elimination ceremony and that she isn’t a person who breaks hearts. But the heart-breaker she is, Anna says goodbye to: Igor, Dan, Joshua and Aaron. Granted, the latter three men are disappointed over being rejected. Aaron realizes that he wasn’t assertive enough. But Igor says it best, “It’s no hair off my back.” I guess Igor doesn’t have a full-view mirror.
As the four departing Joes board the bus to heartache heaven, we see the hunks arriving at the same beach by boat. A gun fires, releasing a display of fireworks and images of the tuxedo clad hunks cornering the Joes.
Suddenly, the Joes turn around and ta da, see the hunks. The Joes and hunks face down one another like they are back at the o.k. corral. Meanwhile, Anna has a big smile on her face and admits that she feels like a kid in a candy store. These guys are hot, she remarks. Arthur must have heard Anna talking to her inner voice because he starts to get all teary-eyed. One of the hunks announces to the Joes, “we are your new roommates and your competition.”
The bus holding the rejected Joes comes to a halt and everyone gets off except for Joshua. The guy who has compared himself to Jesus says he is excited for a second chance with the make-over. He is put on a diet by a nutritionist because “he eats like a girl.” A life coach offers some dating techniques for Joshua, who “is obviously hiding behind his appearance.” Yes, folks. Behind the beard and Bo Bice hair, is a deep, deep man. A newly shorned and beardless Joshua looks forward to proving to Anna that he can clean up well.
Will the hunks take over the house and steal Anna away from the Joes? Will Joshua win Anna with his new and improved look? Stay tuned for next week’s episode.
You can e-mail Hildee Weiss with your comments at HildeeW@SBCGlobal.net
|
|
