Hitting Us One Last Time – Hit Me Baby One More Time, Episode 5 by Carrie
During a conversation with a good friend, she mentioned that for the season finale, this show hit us with a cap gun rather than a 357. I think she has a point. After the likes of Wang Chung, Howard Jones, The Knack, and Arrested Development, would the final episode of this season live up to previous acts? It certainly wasn’t without highlights, but my friend hit the nail on the head with her analogy.
Hitting us this week are Juice Newton, Animotion, Shannon, PM Dawn, and Missing Persons. Only one band that the spell-checker doesn’t recognize – that’s a first. Unfortunately there is no mention of the “surprises” we were promised last week, so it looks like it’ll be a straight-up episode. Once again, the viewers at home disagreed with the live studio audience last week, and voted Glass Tiger as their favourite. And once again, that really means exactly nothing. On with the show.
Juice Newton had some great hits like “Angel of the Morning”, “Love’s Been a Little Bit Hard on Me”, and the song she’s performing tonight, “Queen of Hearts”. This was roller-skating music for those of us in our pre-teen years, but eventually Juice went a little bit more country and vanished from the pop music scene.
Juice emerges magically from the floor and she looks great. She’s aged, of course, but her trademark long hair is replaced with a spiky new ‘do, and she may be the only artist from more than ten years ago that hasn’t gained weight. The song sounds almost exactly as it did when she recorded it, although one of the background singers is just a touch too twangy to sell it. The crowd seems to enjoy her though, as do I. After comparing hairstyles with host Vernon Kay, Juice says that she’ll be back to perform Ashlee Simpson’s “Pieces of Me”. Quite frankly I’ve never heard the song, as the Simpson sisters aren’t exactly my cup of tea. But something tells me this can’t be good.
Next up is Animotion, who apparently started some sort of pop revolution in the 80’s. Erm, whoever does the writing for Vernon needs to really check their facts. Animotion was heavily into synthesizers, strong dance beats, and big hair. Their song “Obsession” was a massive hit, but eventually the group disbanded, reformed with different members, and finally faded into obscurity.
Three of the original band members show up, which is a pretty good average for this show. The song goes well, although Astrid’s hair is very distracting. It’s very blonde with black and pink streaks throughout. And big – oh so big. I hate to admit it, but they kind of look like old people trying to grasp what’s left of their edge. But heck, maybe I do too, although I think I have better hair. Animotion will be back to cover “Days Go By” by Dirty Vegas. Interesting choice, but let’s just say my hopes are not up for this one.
The third act of the night is Shannon. She blasted dance floors, roller rinks, and the charts with “Let the Music Play” in 1983; and so the dance music craze began. Shannon followed up with a few successful singles, but eventually dropped out of sight when dance music went the way of disco.
Shannon comes out with more energy than anyone I’ve ever seen. She pumps up the crowd and launches into “Let the Music Play” with gusto. She looks great and sounds pretty darned good. Suddenly in the middle of her performance, she drops to the ground and does a single push up. While not as creepy as Haddaway’s slither across the stage, it’s still pretty weird. The backup dancers are dressed in feebly disguised lingerie, and are gyrating wildly while Shannon lets loose. The audience seems to like it though, so more power to her. Vernon asks Shannon what she’ll be covering for her second number, and she says it’ll be “Foolish” by Ashanti. Ugh.
PM Dawn is one of those bands whom the critics adored but the fans just never seemed to catch on to. While their catalog of original music is truly a work of excellence, their biggest hit came in the form of “Set Adrift on Memory Bliss”; a tune that sampled Spandau Ballet’s “True”. Led by brothers Prince Be and DJ Minute Mix, PM Dawn had a strong, smooth vocal style that continued to get better with each new release.
Tonight, apparently one more brother has joined the band, and he’s really annoying. When you’ve got a nice, mellow tune like this one, you don’t need a front man yelling at the crowd and jumping around like a fool. Prince Be sounds fabulous though, which makes it an even bigger shame that he’s being outdone by his jumping bean of a brother. Great song, and obviously this band still sounds good – but get rid of hype guy. A bit disappointing overall. They’re going to do Puddle of Mudd’s “Blurry” for the second round.
Finally, the band I’ve been waiting for – Missing Persons. They were more known for their outrageous lead singer, Dale Bozzio, than their music. Dale sported multi-coloured, asymmetrically cut, wild hair and outfits that would make Madonna (the singer) blush. Her voice was one-of-a-kind, and Missing Persons had some great songs like “Destination Unknown”, “Walking in LA”, and “Words”.
Dale arrives onstage dressed in a pin-striped suit complete with fedora, and her hair is very long. Still bleached-blond though, with bright pinks stripes. But more importantly, her voice is still the same. Ah, the nostalgia! As soon as the first line of “Do yoo he-ah meee?” comes out of her mouth, I’m entranced. I rewound this and played it back about eight times before moving on with the show – there’s just something about that little time capsule of joy that made me very happy. “Words” was a fantastic performance, but it’s one of those things that you had top be there for the original to completely understand. Good on ya, Dale. They’re coming back to perform Kylie Minogue’s “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”. That’s a bit disappointing, but after hearing “Words” I wouldn’t care if they did the theme from “Barney”.
Round Two
Catching up with Juice Newton, we learn that she has three dogs, and iguana named Bob, and a school of fish. (Hey, School of Fish – they would have been a good band to see, if not a bit obscure. But I digress.) She rides horses at home when she’s not spending one of her 100 days a year on the road performing.
Juice is singing “Pieces of Me” by Ashlee Simpson, and it’s not too bad. I can’t compare it to the original, but Juice gives it the country treatment and her voice is strong enough to carry the song. Not exactly something that I’d run out and buy, but she sounds lovely.
Bill Wadhams of Animotion is into graphic design now, while Astrid Plane is raising her daughter with band mate Charles Ottario. Charles loves to fly planes, and wanted to be an instructor but ran out of money. Ah, so now we figure out why they all got back together. Could a new album be far behind?
Their cover of Dirty Vegas’ “Days Gone By” is kind of creepy. Yes, I know that “weird” is what they do, but Bill should give up dancing forever, and Astrid needs to just tone things down a little. The vocals are good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just hard to watch.
Shannon lives near the water in New York, which she loves. She shows off her new vintage car (spot the oxymoron there), which she also loves. And she’s coming out with a new album, which I would assume is another thing she loves.
Her version of “Foolish” is better than the original, but that’s not saying much. She gives off American Idol wannabe vibes, even though she’s an established and undoubtedly talented performer. The background singers sound better than she does, I’m afraid.
Prince Be of PM Dawn is enjoying life with his kids. He and his brother enjoy listening to records together, and playing vintage video games. He’s got a virtual arcade set up in his house – how cool! He says that his goal is to become a successful vegetarian. Just a warning, Prince Be – Tofurky ™ is NOT a viable substitute for Christmas dinner, I promise you that.
Performing “Blurry” by Puddle of Mudd, PM Dawn gets their groove back. The jumpy dude plays it cool by quietly handing out carnations to the audience, allowing Prince Be and DJ Minute Mix to sing – and sing they do. The sound is warm and soothing, and there’s no way anyone is going to beat these guys. I can breathe a sigh of relief that they haven’t lost their sound.
Dale Bozzio of Missing Persons is doing the job that she never thought she’d have – being a single mom of two boys. She says that she’s very protective of her sons, and they are what she lives for. She’s also still performing, and doing what she loves. She seems happy, and really, that’s all anyone can ask for.
Missing Persons covers Kylie’s “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”, which is basically a series of nah nah nah’s with a few added words thrown in seemingly willy-nilly. But in the hands (or chords, as it were) of Dale, it becomes an amusing little ditty that sounded a bit like an 80’s pop tune, go figure. I enjoyed it, but somehow I don’t think the audience will send Missing Persons too many votes.
The Results
After asking the audience to vote, Vernon tells us that this is the closest result they’ve had over their five week run. But in the end, PM Dawn is victorious and decides to donate their $20,000 to the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. Good stuff.
So there you have it. No surprises, but a fun finale anyway. Rumour is that Hit Me Baby One More Time will be returning in August, but I’ve not heard anything concrete as of yet. If they do come back though, you can bet that I’ll be here, tapping my feet, rolling my eyes, and giving you the scoop.
Thanks for the fun comments and questions! Keep 'em coming at carrie@realityshack.com.
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