Articles - RealityShack

Interview With Rachael of Starting Over

Posted on Mon 02 May 2005 (17219 reads)

by LauraBelle

RS: When you first entered the Starting Over house what were you hoping you would gain by the time of your graduation? Surely you weren't expecting to gain a whole new family.

Rachael: When I entered the house I wanted to overcome the loss of both my parents and confront my family about the awful things I experienced when my parents died. I wanted to admit I was angry that my Aunt Ellen sent me away. I was depressed for years but covered it up with a big smile. I never expected that I would meet my father. Let alone all my brothers and sisters. I feel so complete for the first time in my life.

RS: What do you attribute to your resistance early on in the show?

Rachael: Yes. I was really resistant on the show. I have to first of all give props to Iyanla for sticking it out with me. She nurtured and loved me through it all. She believed in me when no one else would. I had a terrible time trusting adults and individuals over me. When I was 12 my aunt made horrible choices for me that haunted me for years. I think I also did not trust the process. So I had to test it.

RS: What can you tell us about the incident that got Sommer kicked off
the show? Did you ever find out how Renee knew about the conversation?

Rachael: I will describe Sommer in three words a fake, liar, and superficial. I did not care for Sommer at all. She intentionally wanted to hurt me on several different occasions. She is one person I would never care to see again. I believe that Sommer had a relationship with the cameramen. Hey, maybe she even slept with one, who knows. But what I do know is that everything that was said in the car Renee repeated to Cassie that night. I think one of the camera people told her what we said. P.S. I bet Sommer broke into the office too.

RS: Do you still have any of your shells of hope and faith left?

Rachael: I sure do. I will post my shells of hope and faith on my website this summer. When I created the shells on the show it really helped me grieve the loss of my mom. I made special messages in each shell to inspire individuals dealing with cancer to never give up. I have a special place in my heart for people dealing with cancer. I made a promise to myself that I would become a nurse to work passionately with cancer patients.

RS: Your story was stunning even from the very beginning, but by the time it fully unfolded we were all completely drawn in. Have you ever been able to get the full story from your aunt on why your mother's last wishes for you weren't followed?

Rachael: My aunt broke my mother's will, and I am still working on forgiveness. I know her side of the story, but she still won't take responsibility for it. I will go indepth with all the things I uncovered on my website.

RS: I noticed when you were sad or feeling unsafe you often had a throw draped around your shoulders. When everything was good, especially when talking to Jerry, you didn't have the throw. Any history on that?

Rachael: I fondly remember as a child cuddling in my safe blanket. It's a habit. It gives me a sense of security and warmth, just like my mother's arms. When I feel brave and comfortable I don't need it as much.

RS: Speaking of Jerry, how does the relationship with him stand now?

Rachael: I have asked my father many questions about why he wasn't around. He is a very vague person. One thing I have learned to do is have no expectations of him of being the father I need in my life. I look to God to fill any of the voids in my life. I know that there are six of us and he hasn't really taken care of any of us. So how could I expect for him to take care of me at 21 years old. He is a good person, but not a very good father. But I forgive him for not stepping up to the plate, and I am saying this on behalf of all my brothers and sisters. I love you guys.

RS: Iyanla was always so maternal with you. Has the relationship slowed some since your graduation or is she still filling that same role for you?

Rachael: Iyanla has done more for me than any other adult in my life. I can never repay her for helping me move forward in my life. She is my angel. I look forward to keeping in contact with her over the years. We have a special bond and no one can change that. I admire the God in Iyanla. I can't wait to see her again.

RS: You learned such great things from Iyanla, but what do you feel you learned from Rhonda, Dr. Stan, and each of your housemates?

Rachael: I really appreciate my housemates. Denise,Towanda, Cassie, and Bethany they were my girls. They stood by my side all the way until the end. They were the shoulder to lean on, the ear to listen, and the love to heal the pain. I honor these women for taking a chance on loving me. They also kept me accountable for things I needed to improve with grace. I thank Rhonda for her compassion, I looked into her eyes and she truly understood me. I actually wanted her to be my life coach at first.

RS: Thank you, Rachael, for allowing us in to watch you heal and grow. You are a beautiful young woman and we hope nothing but the best for you in your future.

I welcome all questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com

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