GUG Episode 13 – U GOTTi BE KIDDING MEby Panndyra, aka the Goddess of Chaos
I was originally going to title this episode, “Sluts Over Long Island” but I felt that it wouldn’t be fair to Long Island. The girls on this show acted like sluts but I know, having grown up in the Northeast that NOT all girls act like this. At least I hope they don’t.
The boys are normal teenagers – they love girls. The girls love them – maybe a little too much. Victoria admits that the boys love attention, but she and Robert (and I and almost every other parent in America I would think) wonder why the girls go to such extremes to show their adoration of the Gotti boys. These are “Girls Gone Wild” for the Gotti boys. It’s a bit sad, really.
Why don’t these girls have more self-respect?
Okay – now, I’m just giving too much commentary and not enough of a a review. The show had two plots.
Plot #1 – the boys went to a radio station. They were running a contest from the hottigotti.com website. Be careful, there’s also an hottiegottie.com and an hottigotti.org. I’m scared, y’all.
There were thousands of girls who applied to spend some time with Da Boyz. The radio station narrowed it down to 30. John and Carmine were supposed to pick three. Frankie couldn’t go – he was sick.
Well, the boys were enjoying picking so much so that they couldn’t decide. They didn’t want to let any of the girls down. Awww! How sweet! They’re keeping their poontang options open for later.
Carmine showed just how seriously he took the contest when he asked one girl, over the phone, how big her butt was, on a scale from 1 to 10. She said a “10” – like J. Lo. (Why did I have to grow up 10 years too soon – before the butt became popular? Hmmmm? When I was a teenager not that long ago, everyone wanted a Kate Moss butt. UGH!) This prompted Mama Gotti to call in and tell her sons to “remember how you are!” UH-OH!
So, then – John and Carmine interview the girls – who, by the way – are edited as dazzling conversationalists (NOT). They decided not to decide. So, 30 girls end up at Casa di Gotti. Now, Mama is not happy. I don’t blame her.
The girls are excited to be in the hizzouse, but Carmine would rather play Playstation and John had to be dragged out of his room. How charming? The girls told Da Boyz they were bored. Then, they started dancing suggestively. I guess some of the girls thought that it was the “Sluttiest Girl” contest. I AM NOT SURE WHO’D WIN THAT THOUGH. There were so many great candidates.
And how about Miss Congeniality – the ever friendly European girl who told the boys they had no manners? That’s the way to make an impression, but I guess you just wanted some camera time, right? It’s amazing to me that some of these girls would act this way with not only Victoria in the house but some of their own moms there.
My mother’d have killed me. Maybe I’m just jealous. I don’t know. Anyway, the girls left after eating some food and annoying John to no end – when a few of them went into his room after it was forbidden. That was so Beauty & the Beast.
Plot #2 Mama Victoria learns self-defense. Victoria’s sister, Angel, was in the elevator by herself a while ago and she was wondering to herself, what would happen if she were attacked? I always think those things when I’m by myself. I mean – it’s completely normal – right?
Neuroses aside, it’s not a bad idea for two single women – and Robert – to learn some self-defense. They decide to a private class and learn the basics. Victoria jokes that she should’ve worn her boots because she’s not going to wear sneakers to kick butt. Angel really kicks it into high gear after she breaks a nail. Ooooooooooowww.
In the end, after the girls leave and Case di Gotti is back to normal – for Casa di Gotti, that is – the family practices some moves on Luigi. He shows them the “Italian shot” – which is definitely a low-blow.
Next week, I think I’m going to watch paint dry instead of Growing Up Gotti. The show’s starting to bore me. Yes, I do have the attention span of a gnat. Thank you very much.
About the author: Panndyra is the Goddess of Chaos. When she’s not ruining lives, she’s writing about Reality TV. Email her at panndyra@realityshack.com if you have questions for her. She’ll try to be nice.
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