| Growing Up Gotti Season 2, Episode 10 – It’s Snowing Men! |
|---|
| Posted on Tue 15 Mar 2005 (1692 reads) |
|
By Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos Victoria is sooooooooooo stressed out with the boys, work and I’d wager her (lack of) household help. She and Robert are planning a little trek to Aspen for some snow, fun and men. The boys wanted to go skiing. Victoria nixed that idea right quick. It won’t be much of a vacation with them. She remembers the trip to Miami. If you don’t, then check out the article from season one. Carmine bounces back and asks if he can go to the Bahamas with some friends while mom’s away. She’s like “so no.” Heck in the cold Long Island winter, I’d go to Bahamas if I were Vicky instead of Aspen. I’m so NOT a cold-weather gal, although I grew up in Boston. Go figure! But this ain’t about me!!!! Or is it? Where was I again? Oh yes! Victoria decides to assuage her guilt over heading out of town that she’ll buy the boys some bling-bling. She puts her assistant and close pal, Robert, in charge of securing just the right, “PHAT” jewelry for the boys. (I haven’t heard this many lilly-white people use rap street lingo since last week’s Apprentice. It’s whack, yo!) Frankie wants a dog tag, but John wanted one first. It’s a fight, y’all. Big shocker! John wants Frankie to cave in. Robert decides that he’ll talk Frankie out of the dog tag and let him choose a thick cross with diamonds. Isn’t that always the alternate to a dog-tag, a cross? Maybe I’m getting too philosophical here. Why don’t they all just get NOTHING!?! Carmine draws out this design – he wants a huge star encrusted with lots of diamonds. As Robin Williams said as the genie in Aladdin it’s muy macho -- NOT! John starts worrying that his brother is going overboard on the design. He doesn’t want mama to spend so much money. Carmine’s like, “I’ll pay for it – I’m a millionaire.” Victoria just wishes that they could let her do something nice for them without making it a federal case. No pun or disrespect intended there. Meanwhile, Victoria heads out with Robert to get their nails down. She talks about how Robert is such a macho gay man – while he’s having his nails done. Didn’t they do this before or did I have a horrible dream? Anyway, the friends are reminiscing about this guy they dated – they think it may have been the same one. How’s that for weird? Two friends and I dated the same guy when we were 19. It was cool. We swapped stories. We played head games, but we were all girls. I’d have to say I’ve never shared a guy with any of my gay friends. Now! That would be weird. There’s problems with the jeweler. Big surprise. Apparently, he can’t work his custom-making-jeweler’s fingers fast enough to satisfy the boys, especially Carmine. He’s like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. Shuddup already. Geez. It took two weeks and the goys got it! Yippee! Did I mention that in preparation for her trip, Victoria shopped ‘til she dropped. She bought Chanel skis – but has NEVER skied before in her life. I didn’t even know CHANEL made skis. I can’t afford Chanel perfume, but she busy CHANEL Skis. Can someone hit me – hard, please? I can’t stop thinking about it – CHANEL SKIS? What do they look like? Do they smell good? Are they made of fur? Victoria figures that with her CHANEL SKIS (It’s like Pee-Wee’s Playhouse and this is the magic word – CHANELSKIS –AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Mekka Mekka Hi Mekka Hini Ho! – If you don’t get the reference than I’m too old to be writing this d@mn review!)she’ll be able to land her a handsome ski instructor. You know – I always think it’s a great rule of thumb to do something potentially life-threatening and spend a lot of money doing it just to impress a man. Way to show that self-respect, Victoria. You could’ve had Gianni, but NOOOOOOOO. She’s still shopping and buying these ugly boots that look like she’s wearing black Hungarian Puli’s (you know the dogs that look like mops) on her feet. She also bought a white coat and I personally think that a white coat on a white person on a ski slope is fabulous. I hope she doesn’t get lost – they’ll NEVER find her. Am I just really bitter today? Or is this me normally? I don’t know I don’t care. Back to my review. While shopping, the boys call her and Robert like 12 times. They want to complain about their pricey jewelry. It’s not good enough for them. Boo hoo! One of those pieces costs more than all of my jewelry COMBINED! Get over it, ya spoiled brats. Victoria says jewelry can always be changed. She and John get into a little tussle and he says that his mother has attitude. Now! The look she gave him reminded me of so many looks my mother gave me growing up. It made me all fuzzy inside. Then, Victoria makes the understatement of the century: Sometimes, with my sons, you just can’t win! The next morning, she leaves for Aspen, but not before trying to smother the boys with some last-minute guilt-mothering. She bought them hot chocolates and begged John to wear his coat. Then, she got dressed. Sue arrived and the three of them – Sue, Robert and Victoria headed off to the airport but not before Luigi arrived, looking depressed. He seemed more upset when Victoria told him she was leaving for Aspen to meet men. What – is he jealous? Does he honestly think he has a chance with Victoria? Now, that would be scary beyond all reason. Victoria asks Luigi to wake Carmine up to go register for classes at school and to let the babysitter in. It seems like he did neither. Big surprise, right? On the way to the airport with the slowest driver ever, Robert, Susan and Victoria talk about men. Robert’s like “there’s no competition. If they go your way, then you can have them. If they go my way, then they’re mine.” It’s fair. Then, they talk about men who go both ways and Victoria’s like “I don’t like that – it’s unsanitary!” That’s an interesting reason. I’ll leave it at that. The fact that they devoted three minutes to this discussion including why some women take it both ways if you know what I mean tells me that I don’t even want to know what footage was left on the cutting room floor, okay? They get to the airport and then onto the plane. They get off the plane in Aspen. Susan and Victoria tell Robert that the air is thinner in Aspen. He almost immediately starts with the “I feel dizzy.” That’s so LOL. The three New Yorkers think that Aspen is cute, quaint and beautiful. When Victoria finds out that this is Gay Ski Week, she is like “Great! I guess my manhunt is cancelled.” Robert looked like he just won the lottery. It was awesome. Victoria did tell him she figured he’d meet a man there a few days before. If he doesn’t, I’d be shocked. Back in New York, Abe the jeweler arrives. Carmine’s happy with the adjusted jewelry and so is Frank, but John who was happier initially is less than pleased now. He feels his dog tag doesn’t look like a dog-tag and is too small. I say if he wants a dog tag, to enlist in the army and do some work for his country, but that’s just me being b*tchy. Victoria decides she’s going to have fun no matter what and she’s going to find a man. I guess she likes a challenge. Next week, she’ll become a ‘ski-bunny’ and take up with her instructor – methinks. Can’t wait. Can you feel my joy. Panndyra out! If you want to comment, please don’t. I really don’t want to relive this experience. |
| Index :: Print :: E-mail |
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.
