High Strung Judges for Every Bad Note - Canadian Idol 4, Episode 2 by Brianne
This week on Canadian Idol, judges visit Montreal, QC, a city full of funky performers. We are shown how the auditioners keep themselves occupied while they wait in line. While some play cards and others dance up a storm, one thing is clear: each potential contestant has their own fresh taste in fashion.
First to shine is Marie Soleil McPhee, 17, the girl who calls herself “sunshine”. Unfortunately, behind her dazzling blond braids and fiery energy, the judges need some shade from her rough singing.
Andrew Chevrier, 25, brings a microphone into his audition so the judges can here his already amplified audition. The judges thank him for the entertaining show and send him on his way.
Next to audition is 18 year old Louisa Abbacha, a young Russian woman who definitely represents the brave fashion tendencies of Montrealers with her leopard print hat and bright turquoise pants. Her intense dance and song routine harmonizes with her gory outfit, and as she makes her way to the escalator, she demonstrates her matching confidence –this young lady is certainly loud in more than one way.
Toning things down, we meet Anna-Belle Oliva, a humble 20 year old whose philosophy has undergone a re-birth after mourning the death of her 16 year old brother who passed away in a fire. All the judges are held captive in her emotional performance of Alicia Key’s “A Woman’s Worth” and there is no hesitation over her gold Ticket to Toronto. Congrats Anna-Belle!
Julia Nguyen, 25, enters in a chic Janet-Jackson-esque ensemble that complements her tightly curled coiffure. When she sings “Karma” by Alicia Keys, the judges aren’t impressed beyond her spicy style. What she says after her audition makes me want to give her two thumbs up for bravery: “You know, it takes a lot of guts to be here and even if you have to make a fool of yourself, who cares?”
And she’s absolutely right. Like a million others who step into the judging room with their personal flavour, whether they’re bellydancing, dropping it like it’s hot or hitting all the wrong notes, a lot of courage is involved in performing in front of Jake, Sass, Farley and Zack. However, the judges are hoping for a lot more talent after a long streak of empty bravery. Audition after audition, they wait for talent with growing impatience until finally, frustration reaches its limit.
An unsuspecting 22 year old George Bekiaris, nervously sings Van Morrison’s “Moondance”. While his performance doesn’t astonish, I agree when Sass says “You gotta nice voice”. Their attention shifts away from the innocent George when Zack indirectly accuses Sass and Jake of judging based on appearance when he says “Yeah George, you’re just too unattractive to go through”. While Jake maintains that he just isn’t a fan of George’s singing, Zack further accuses the entire panel of being afraid to admit that the exterior plays a role in their decision. Meanwhile, George remains a passive bystander in the background of Jake’s hissy fit –yes, a real hissy fit: with a reddening face, Jake slams his papers on the table and screams at Zack. In the end, Sass sidesteps out of giving her opinion by asking Farley, who votes yes, but poor George won’t be going to Toronto since both Jake and Zack give him a no. Personally, I’d choose George’s clean cut masculine face and beefy arms over Kalan Portor’s wimpy pre-pubescent look any day.
The next auditioner, Anna Meer, 19, says she “doesn’t like to be like anyone else” and she certainly accomplishes this with her gothic red and white trimmings that make her fit to be Beetlejuice’s bride. After starting and re-starting Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”, the judges actually grant her some alone time in the judging room. After offering her some coffee and making sure she’s all comfortable, she performs the song, but not without the judges singing as a choir along with her!
When 28 year old dishevelled brunette, Amy Torok, snaps and sways out a top notch performance of Natalie Merchant “Baby, I Love You”, Zack begins negotiations by offering to sacrifice a future vote in order to assure Amy gets to Toronto. Immunity is awarded! As she leaves the judging room with a gold ticket, Farley comments to her: “You’ve got soul coming out of your nosehole, baby!” Congrats Amy!
Alissa White-Gluz, 20, saunters in the judging room decorated with blue hair and chains. Suddenly, there is a scene change from the familiar judging room to a dark studio, and we get to see Alissa head banging to heavy metal with her band. After this animal activist sings “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, Zack questions her versatility. When Alissa asserts that she has training in musical theatre and suggests that they shouldn’t be taken aback by how she looks as an indicator of what she’s capable of, Jake takes the opportunity to snatch up the vote that Zack previously promised in exchange for Amy Torok. Congrats Alissa!
Amidst the tacky dance numbers and circus costumes, Montreal produces 22 gold ticket holders. The freezing prairies of Regina, SK, get a visit from the judges next, where many are fighting for a ticket to Toronto.
After a boring pep talk from Premier Lorne Calvert, auditions begin with a pumped up Cecil Armistead, 26, aka “Johnny Rockstar”. He hasn’t become famous since the last time he was on Idol, probably because he still sounds like a castrated crow. Although he doesn’t make it (again), his optimism is inspiring.
23 year old Dusty Hunter is the epitome of Canadian. Not only is he auditioning for Idol, but he also played hockey until he took a goalie stick to his eye. This curly haired country boy got motivated by his family to audition and there isn’t any doubt why when he sings “He’s Watching Me” by the Gaither Vocal Band. Although he has a clear voice, Zack backs up his yes with the fact that Dusty is good-looking. (I still affirm that George Bekiaris back in Montreal is more handsome.) In any case, congrats Dusty!
Although long-haired, lanky armed Ashely Pachkowsky, 19, ends up on her knees when she auditions for the judges, she doesn’t make it through with her long note. Matt Davis, 20, doesn’t cut it either when he unleashes “Always” by Bon Jovi. Zack offers him a piece advice “you sing like you need a good valve movement”. While 28 year old school teacher Helen Hewitt, 28, can’t find the right notes when she performs Blondie’s “Call Me”, she nails “The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round.” Unfortunately, 18 year old cheerleader Samara Yung can’t burp in tune to get herself a gold ticket, and 16 year old Marlie Collins’ voice won’t put herself through either. Shea Macnaughton, 26, gets snorted at before she starts singing when she announces that she’ll be singing Jewel and Sarah Murdock, 19, doesn’t get a second chance after she protests that she “really can sing”. Lana Brix, 28, sings “Part of your world” from The Little Mermaid, but it seems like the judges wish that she’d just lose her voice like Ariel did. Charity Chrisie, 27, sings “This Little Light of Mine”, to which the judges “Say Goodbye”. With these consecutive catastrophes, things are looking dim for the judges.
Then, in walks Tyler Lewis, 19, wearing a snazzy cherry-red shirt. He ardently sings Elvis’ “Heartbreak Hotel” without the hip jives, but also without flaw. While he is advised to go shopping for some new clothes, he is also given the ticket to Toronto. Congrats Tyler!
That wraps up the Regina auditions, with only 5 singers continuing their Idol journey in Toronto.
Eastward to St.John’s, NL, where we meet lots of Idol hopefuls.
First up is Jackie French, 20, who gives Farley and Zack seizures from her performance of the popular audition song “Summertime”. (and for clarification, there is not such thing as a ‘good’ seizure)
16 year old trucker-hat wearing homeboy, Brandon Jones, who is playing a nerd for his highschool’s musical, sings “Hemorrhage In My Hands” by Fuel. With his laid-back presence, I’m surprised by his soulful, well-toned voice. The judges are confident in his talent and send him on his way with a gold ticket.
Jennifer Purchase, 18, demonstrates why copying previous Canadian Idols doesn’t always turn out well when she sings “Alive” by Melissa O’Neil. But then again, I doubt she would’ve done things better if she made it her own.
Next in line to sing is a 25 year old fairy from never-neverland. Or, maybe it’s just a really eccentric Canadian named Holly Nelson. With a frightening stare, she executes an average performance of Jann Arden’s “Good Mother”. She doesn’t get the ticket, but while holding her intense stare, she thanks the judges in such a excessively happy demeanour that I was left mildly disturbed.
After a series of empty handed auditioners, Craig Sharpe, 16, sings a sugary soulful version of Rascal Flatts “Bless the Broken Road”, adding a charming shy shrug at the end. Dr. Sass prescribes him a gold ticket for his flu. Congrats Craig!
That ends the auditions in Regina and sends 8 more contestants to Toronto.
Taking a break from the auditions, Elena Juatco scans waiting rooms to see what people think about our host, Ben Mulroney. Other than one contestant who succinctly singles out his “flamboyant charm”, the mutually recognized trait that belongs to Ben is his hair. We also get a sample of Ben wearing a classic blue argyle sweater sharing his singing talents when he gives a brief performance of the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way” in French. While others identify Ben Mulroney as “slick, handsome, hot, sizzling, and genuine”, some embarrassingly don’t even know Elena Juatco, the past contestant turned Idol interviewer.
Expectations run high when auditions start in Toronto, ON, but few meet the standards.
17 year old Ashely Boucher honks out her song and is unsure about whether Sass is complimenting her or not when she says the performance sounded like “a really angry mosquito”.
20 year old Ashely Wynter’s singing can’t find a tune, and neither does 28 year old Aldo Parise’s song, even though he’s got the hand actions down for Madonna’s “Vogue”. Joy Chapman, 19, spins and scratches the techno remix of “Jesus Lives” and Iryna Chorna, 23, may as well press pause with her slow motion performance of “Summertime”. The judges also don’t show any love for the 17 year old city-born cowboy, Rob Gardiner.
The judges begin their antics after 23 year old Henry Stratigacos’ unsuccessful audition. All 18 year old Phillip Fournier gets for his high-pitched performance is a box of cookies while another auditioner is interrupted by Farley, Zack and Jake’s game of skip rope. During 25 year old Chanell Kodar’s audition, Farley wheels a giant bin in front of her. What’s inside? Surpise –it’s a donkey! Oh no, it’s just a Zack. 21 year old Nico Hinesini who dons a furry pink hat leave the judges speechless…or the judges just decide to remove the set’s letters that spell out “Toronto” in the background, and spell out “NO” themselves instead of wasting words. Before you know it, Zack is bowling with the big block letters.
After a bout of fun, the judges become bored and dish out exhausted no’s to auditioners like 16 year old Michelle Bataclan and 25 year old Annie Huynh, who looks like she should be sprawling herself across of an import car instead. Then Charlie’s Angel look-a-like Gabby Cosco, 24, further un-impresses the judges (if it is even humanly possible to advance their state of disinterest). 21 year old Floyyd Ricketts’ performance of “Ain’t To Proud To Beg” by The Temptations stirs up a spew of insults from Zack and 18 year old Dave Espeut’s audition is so offensive to Zack that he ends up throwing a garbage can at his head. (I’m dead serious!)
From this disappointment, Zack and Farley decide to give the awaiting auditioners a nerve-wracking warning. They’ve lost their patience with the lack of talent from Toronto and let everyone know that they don’t want to waste any more time with beginners.
Jordan Robitaille, 16, enters the audition room unfazed. The judges can’t really pinpoint his personality with his skinny frame, long wild hair and glasses, so they just call him “weird”. Yet when he sings Madonna’s “Fever”, he gets a ticket, demonstrating that Canadian Idol can be about breaking moulds. However, the judges have another big fight when Jake throws another tantrum after being accused of being unable to see singing talent beyond personality. Jake smashes his mug on the floor and walks away from Farley, who calls him a punk. While Jake takes a sedative (this part is unconfirmed), Jordan sneaks out of the heated judging room. Congrats Jordan!
When the judges finish having their break, they meet Punky Brewster’s twin, Johnny Nite, a 16 year old who fervently sings Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love”. He even gets a laugh from the three other judges when Zack says that he could find “75 other guys just like him” and Johnny challenges him to actually do it. No, there probably isn’t another out there like this spiky haired, leather-jacket wearing youth. (Is there?) Farley enjoys his raspy voice and Jake likes his attitude. Finally, some of the judges agree on something! He leaves the room with a gold ticket and when Ben asks him what he’ll bring to the competition, Johnny simply replies “me”. Congrats Johnny!
Amanda Mackenzie, 17, sings an incredibly rhythmic version of Shania Twain’s “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under”. Her audition blows the judges away as she confidently struts in front of Farley and rests her hand on his boots, which are resting on the table. She leaves a room of happy judges with one beautiful gold ticket. Congrats Amanda!
Even though the talent seemed sparse in Toronto, the judges ended up giving out 21 gold tickets.
This week’s show comes to a hearty close with the judges all reconciled with one another as they raise their mugs and sing in unison “That’s What Friends Are For”.
Don’t forget to tune in to next weeks recap! The judges will be awarding the final gold tickets to talent in Ottawa, Winnipeg and Halifax.
Comments? Send me an email: Brianne@realityshack.com.
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