Will They or Won't They? – Unan1mous, Finale by Carrie
Have you ever watched an entire series but felt that you must have missed something, because things just didn't add up? That's the feeling I'm left with after watching the Unan1mous finale. More questions than answers.
Last week, Jameson watched his chance at the money go down the drain, Tarah voted herself back into the game, and Steve attacked Adam's character before turning into a big whiner and complaining that he didn't attack Adam physically. Funny how, in only a few episodes, Steve's gone from the big, lovable oaf to the sad, clueless crusader. As we found out last week, this is the series finale. Either one person will walk away with the remainder of the money, or the clock will run out and everyone loses. Which will it be?
We kick things off with a recap of what's happened since the nine participants entered the bunker. After seven complete episodes, they can pretty much recap the highlights in about 45 seconds, which they do quite effectively. Really, this could have been a one-hour special. The series I mean, not the finale. We've gone from $1,500,000 to $394,192, where the money clock currently sits.
The Final Day in the Bunker
The seven remaining participants are just waking up for the day, as Fembot announces that "sleep time has now expired". Vanessa sounds worn out and ready to call it a day on the game, and Jonathan confesses that he thinks the future holds a big fat zero for all of them. Tarah is happy to be back in the game, and she tells Jameson that she hopes he understands that now, instead of campaigning for him, she'll be trying to win the money for herself. He does seem to understand, and even tells her that he thinks he's had his chance and wants to see her get it.
It's Inner Circle time, and Big Cheese stops the clock at $382,193. He gives them hell for not being able to reach a decision and wasting almost $1.2 million bucks. Steve looks as if he's going to be ill at the mention of such a number. Looks like he's still smarting from being so close to winning the entire pot. Suck it up Steve, and move on.
Big Cheese tells the group that this is their last vote – either they will unanimously give someone the money, or the clock will run down to zero by this time tomorrow. Uh ... hang on there. How do they figure that? It'll take roughly four days for their money to run out, so what's the rush? Not that I want the series to continue, you understand, but this seems just a tad arbitrary, don't you think? It's like someone at FOX decided that they needed to end up giving someone a decent chunk of money, but not too much.
The clock stays at $382,193, and the participants are given a couple of hours to decide what they're going to do. Big Cheese says that either way, they're all leaving the bunker tonight. Ah, maybe the lease on the bunker is up? Heh.
Steve and Adam get right into it, with Steve asking Adam what the point of the game is. Adam says "to win?", but Steve insists that he knows the right answer and is just being ornery. Steve seems to think that he has this heavy moral burden to do the "right" thing, because Big Cheese has entrusted them with this tremendous responsibility. I hate to break it to ya Steve, but Adam's thinking is more along the lines of what the audience is looking for. We want to see people playing the game, not making judgments about the others. There I go, off on another tangent. Let's move along.
Jameson, Vanessa, Tarah, and Steve gather for a melding of the minds. Steve says that there's no way he's going to vote for Jonathan because he declared bankruptcy (what? When did we find that out?) and drives a fancy car. He also won't vote for Richard because he doesn't have a responsible bone in his body. So that leaves Jameson and Tarah. Steve thinks that, since Jameson is in a relationship, he has two incomes and should be secure with that. So that leaves Tarah, who Steve declares suddenly deserving of the cash.
Two Hours Until the Vote
Jonathan mentions that if they can't decide who to give the money to, then the clock will run down to zero. Yup, that's how I understand it too. Steve thinks that whoever isn't on board with his plan to vote for Tarah is being selfish. I've gone on enough rants about Steve – we'll leave this one alone.
Vanessa thinks that everyone has finally realized that the game is pretty much over, and now they just want to award the cash to someone. Even Richard, who was ready to lie, steal, and cheat to get the money, says that he's going to go along with the vote. Jonathan, Jameson, Richard, and Adam discuss the merits of voting for Tarah, but Adam doesn't think she deserves his vote. He notes that she's backstabbed him twice in the game, so he doesn't want to vote for her.
Thirty Minutes Until the Vote
Adam is the only one who's not on board with giving Tarah the money. Everyone knows this, but they seem to have given up on trying to convince him that he should "do the right thing". In confessional, he says he's not sure what he's going to do.
Ten Minutes Until the Vote
Or, as this sub-title should read, "More Useless Filler". Everyone is sitting by themselves, scattered around the bunker. I guess this is meant to be the deep, introspective side of the game. Vanessa hopes that Adam won't bugger up the vote. Tarah says the atmosphere is tense. Well I'm sure it is for you, honey – this is the last chance to get something out of all of this for yourself.
The Final Vote
The participants are called back to the Inner Circle for the last time. Big Cheese reminds them that someone could still walk away with almost $400,000 if they vote unanimously. Okay, okay – we get it. Let's get the vote going, shall we?
The voting spheres pop up from the magic table, and everyone locks in their vote and places their ball over their chute. Adam grabs his ball back at the last second, opens it up, and changes his vote. He gets evil looks of death from most of the people at the table, and appears to enjoy the attention. I'll bet he didn't even change his vote at all.
The votes are finally sent through the tunnels to arrive in front of Big Cheese, who reminds everyone that they need six votes to win. Are viewers really this bad at math, or are they just trying to be all dramatic here? The first vote is for ... c'mon, guess ... Tarah. The next four votes are also for Tarah, but it takes several minutes of dramatic camera panning to find this out. The sixth vote is for Jameson, and of course this could be (and probably is) Tarah's own vote.
The final vote is for ... wait! The magic table once again opens up to present an offering of the locked box. Big Cheese says that, if there's a cheque in the box for Tarah, then she has won $382,193. If the box is empty, then the vote was not unanimous and everyone will go home with zilch. And here I thought that Big Cheese was going all Deal or No Deal on us and offering Tarah a choice.
Tarah goes to get the box and sits down. She's been tearing up throughout the reading of the votes, and now she's pretty much in a full-on sob fest. Big Cheese gives her the combo to the lock box, and she opens it up slowly ... and begins to cry even harder.
Cut to commercial. Argh.
When we come back, we get to see that whole locked box scene all over again. Come on already, did Tarah win or not? Apparently she ... did win! There's a cheque inside the box, made out to Tarah Smith, for $382,193. Even Adam looks choked up.
And That's a Wrap
Everyone rallies around Tarah, and she thanks them all. They all seem genuinely happy for her, and she comments that all of the participants wanted the money just as much as she did, but they're still happy for her now.
Big Cheese says that they've just proven that human generosity can be greater than greed. Um, no, what they've proven is that, given a strict deadline and the threat of looking like losers in front of a national audience, they don't mind giving away the remnants of their prize once they realize there's no chance in hell they'll get it themselves.
Champagne rises from the magic table, and everyone has a celebratory drinkie. Steve comes over and holds Tarah's cheque, staring at it longingly. She says that it should have been his from the beginning, and he wistfully agrees. Gag me.
Adam has advice for the next group of Unan1mous participants. Next group? Really? He says to pack light, 'cause you might end up wearing the same clothes every day (while tugging at his outcast garb). He's enjoyed this game so much that he wants to come back and do it all again.
Tarah once again tells us how happy she is, and then it's time for everyone to leave the bunker. They all file towards the door, which opens up and leads to a staircase. Tarah hangs back to take one last look around the bunker before catching up with the others. The End.
Well ... that was underwhelming. I guess I'm glad that someone got some money out of this whole thing, but Tarah had no storyline. We didn't get to see much of her game play, nor did we learn very much about her personally. This show had much potential, but it just got too repetitive and lacked that spark that makes viewers want to tune in. Hopefully, if there is indeed a sequel, they'll change things up a bit.
Thanks for reading! I'll be around to cover Canada's Next Top Model, beginning May 31st, and then I'll be sharing Big Brother live feed duty starting July 6th. Can't wait for that one! Drop me a line at carrie@realityshack.com, and let me know what you thought of Unan1mous.
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