Censors Working Overtime – Unan1mous, Episode 7 by Carrie
Before we launch into the recap of this week's show, I received an e-mail last week that is worth mentioning. Someone who is close to Jonathan explained that he didn't actually leave a job that was earning him $200,000 a year – he left a job where he had the potential to pull in that sum eventually. That would explain why Jameson only went after him for the car he drove, and not the money he was making. Not sure if that information makes a difference to anyone, but there it is. As far as I'm concerned, any winner of any game like this one should be the person who played it the best. Jonathan is right up there, from his fake testicular cancer to messing up the first vote that would have given Steve the win.
Anyway, moving on ...
When we last checked in with the lab rats, Tarah had been outcast, Steve vowed not to ever vote for Jonathan to win the game because he drives a nice car, Jameson was voted "Biggest Liar" and "Most Deserving to Win", and it looked like Jameson was about to win the cash in another vote after threatening Richard and striking a deal with Jonathan.
As we pick things up this week, Big Cheese is ready to read the votes. Here's what I wanna know: are the voting spheres weighted somehow so that they line up in order according to the person voted for, or does someone actually go in and reorder them according to the way they want Big Cheese to read them? Does it matter? Nope. But these are the kinds of things that go through one's head sometimes. At least I hope I'm not the only one.
First vote ... you know it. Jameson. Second and third votes ... Jameson. Fourth vote, which may or may not be Jameson's ... Jonathan. Fifth vote ... Richard. Rut roh. Not unanimous. Surprise, surprise, surprise. The final two votes are for Jonathan. Heh – not even close. The vote thrown to Richard came from Jonathan, who seems to have figured out what I was questioning last week – what possible benefit would he have received in voting for Jameson?
Big Cheese turns on the 'tude and disses them for blowing their sixth consecutive vote. He says that maybe the only way to get them to vote unanimously is to bring someone back. Say what? Jamie and Kelly quit – you can't bring them back. And how would adding an extra person to the mix get them to vote together? But that's not what Big Cheese means – he's talking about voting one of the outcasts back into the game. Ah, okay. But still, how does that help? (And why does this show cause me to end most of my sentences with a question mark?)
Jameson, Richard, and Jonathan are sent into the isolation chamber while the four outcasts are asked to decide amongst themselves which one of them will be returning to the game. Big Cheese gives them 15 minutes to make their decision.
Adam, whom I admire for wanting to play the game, jumps right in and says that he was always up front about not wanting to vote for Jameson because he didn't want to see the game end. Ugh – dude, just stay quiet and let the others tear each other apart. Then you say something sincerely about how much you've wanted to get back in the game and promise to get revenge for the rest of the outcasts. Didn't you see Survivor: Pearl Islands?
Anyway, Steve takes exception to Adam's outburst and argues that no, he wasn't up front about anything. The four of them agreed to vote for Jameson, and Adam went against his word. Cue up the clip of the four outcasts deciding that Jameson deserved the money, which Adam agreed with. But he did not say that he would vote with them. Technicality? Maybe.
Steve, who has a tendency to be overly dramatic, says that Adam just wasted a chance to give the money to a deserving person, and now they have the power to not make Adam's wish of getting back into the game come true. Sheesh. Tarah and Vanessa try to get a word in edgewise, but they don't have a chance against the testosterone in the room. Tarah finally suggests that they don't vote anyone back in and just let the game progress on its own. Yeah right, like the Cheese will allow that to happen.
Adam isn't happy with this idea, but the rest of them agree. He says that they'll be watching all of the money tick away now, and Steve mentions that he's cleared his schedule for 30 days. I don't know if it's the editing, but I like Steve less and less with every passing week.
Meanwhile, in the isolation chamber, Jameson is royally pissed off that his chance at winning the money just went down the tubes. Literally. Richard says in a highly-censored and rather creepy confessional that hell will freeze over before he votes to give Jameson any of the money. He tells Jameson and Jonathan that he's now decided to lie to everyone in order to win whatever money is left. Richard is just not a happy camper.
Big Cheese returns and asks the outcasts if they've come to a decision. They have, and Tarah tells him that they've decided not to vote anyone back into the game. Big Cheese says that this is not an option (did anyone out there in TVland think it would be?) and asks them if they can come to a decision right now, otherwise a decision will be made for them. Anyone else have bad flashbacks to their pre-school days?
Tarah says she'd vote for Steve, and Steve would vote for Vanessa. Vanessa meekly points to Tarah, so the vote thing obviously isn't going to work. Big Cheese, who is apparently in a hurry to get this over with, says that Tarah, the group leader, now has five minutes to choose who should go back in.
Tarah looks like someone just kicked her in the shins. She asks Steve if he wants to go back in, but he says that he doesn't think it would make a difference. Adam reminds everyone that he wants back in, but Steve is quick to point out that Adam is a "manipulator". Oh please. More bickering ensues, as Adam tries to point out that he never did anything to Tarah; as a matter of fact, he had her back on more than one occasion. Tarah seems to know that this is true, but she's having trouble making a decision.
Of course, with the drama in full effect, it's time for Big Cheese to return and demand an answer from Tarah. She looks around the table, and finally says that she can't choose, so she's going to pick herself. You know, that's not a bad idea – any of the others would have done the same thing, and now no one is mad at her for taking sides. She's sent to the isolation chamber with the guys, and Jameson hugs her.
Big Cheese says that he wonders if adding another person into the game will help them come to a decision, and Steve shouts "Nope!". The participants are released from the clutches of Big Cheese and sent off to eat each other alive.
Adam sulks in his room while Tarah tries to stay away from him to avoid confrontation. Jonathan goes to talk to Adam, and tells him that he was the one who blew the first vote that was meant to hand Steve the money. Adam is delighted with this bit of news, but swears that he'll keep it to himself. They both seem to know that revealing it would cause World War III in the bunker.
Outside the door, Jameson is saying that Jonathan swore on his mother that he'd vote for Jameson. Steve chimes in that nothing matters to Jonathan, even swearing on his mother. Jonathan comes rushing out with the "don't ever diss my mother" speech raring to go. Can't blame the guy, I suppose. I'd be pissed off too. Steve seems to have placed every person in the bunker into a neat little mold that he's conjured up for himself. Not many of them seem to be very positive, either.
Steve says that they had all decided to give the money to the person who played the game the best. You know where this is going, right? After telling a big secret to one person, it's almost irresistible to keep going. Jonathan asks, if the game ended right now, would everyone be happy that they've had the experience? A few people nod and grumble that they would, and Jonathan says that he's the one that gave them that experience. And do they know how he did that? Steve guesses that he switched up that first vote, and Jonathan admits that he did and leaves the room.
Steve is in a tizzy now. He says that Jonathan cost him $1.5 million, and says that he's just selfish. Right, because you earned that million and a half how, exactly? Jameson seems to think that Jonathan just hung himself, but Adam and Richard seem thrilled with this new development.
The game is officially split now – Tarah, Vanessa, Steve, and Jameson on one side, and Adam, Jonathan, and Richard on the other. When cheeseburgers arrive on the meal-o-matic, the two group eat separate from one another. The men goof off and laugh it up, while the others are somber and serious. The Tarah/Steve group starts making assessments on the characters of the others, which is never a good plan. Although I guess it worked out for BB6's Maggie. They decide that the guys are only on the show because their lives are so pitiful that they had nothing better to do. Um, and why are the four of you there then, exactly?
Jameson goes over to the guys and asks them why they didn't eat with his group. Steve takes this as an invitation to open fire, and tells Adam that the only reason he's there is because he gets three squares a day and a cot to sleep on, since he has no job and no life in the real world. Oh for cryin' out loud. Adam, naturally, takes exception to this. He doesn't understand why, all of a sudden, Steve is attacking his character, when he's never said anything like that to Steve. Quite frankly I'm wondering the same thing.
Steve, apparently, is under the impression that Adam has been lying to him all along because he must have known that Jonathan was the one who voted against him. Well Steve, you'd be wrong. Honestly, has there EVER been a reality show contestant who was so completely clueless about what was going on around him?
The bickering continues, and Steve keeps on with his character-bashing of Adam. Adam has had enough and says that if that's how Steve wants to play the game, then fine, he can attack just as well as Steve can. Much bleeping ensues, as Adam goes on a rant that I would have loved to have heard. Steve walks away, calling Adam a homeless drunk with no job. Lovely.
Steve is really upset now, and he tells Tarah and Jameson that he's never been attacked like that. He's ashamed that he "took it like a woman". What ... the ... hell? I know I just saw Steve start the whole thing by calling Adam all sorts of nasty things. So ... what is he talking about? He can give the verbal abuse but can't take it? Is that what the problem is? Man up, Nancy!
Steve says that he didn't physically attack Adam because he promised his wife he wouldn't do anything like that. Why, is he prone to going off on people? He now wonders what his kids will think of him, and begins to cry. The whole scene is surreal. Tarah tells him that his kids will respect him because he walked away from a volatile situation, and that he should be proud of himself for keeping his promise to his wife.
Jameson goes out to try and calm Adam, but Adam is would up as tight as a drum. He's still hollering and shouting obscenities, but honestly, I don't blame this guy for being angry. There was no reason for Steve to come down on him like that, even if he had played the guy over the course of the game.
Now it's time for a bunch of clips of various participants saying that they don't think they'll ever be able to agree on who should get the money. Why? Because next week is the finale, as FOX voiceover-guy tells us! Apparently these folks have one last chance to vote unanimously, or it's all over. With over $300,000 left on the money clock, they must actually award the money to someone, or else there will be a few days before the next vote to allow time for it to run out. Either way – only one more episode. Yay.
What do you think? Will anyone walk away with any money from this little "social experiment", and if so, who? Drop me a line at carrie@realityshack.com and share your thoughts.
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