Crazy as a Crap House Rat – Unan1mous, Episode 3 by Carrie
When we left our bunch of dysfunctional lab rats last week, Steve came very close to winning the money, and Kelly was threatening to quit because someone had lied to the group and messed up the vote. As we rejoin the participants this week at the Inner Circle, Kelly is about to give Big Cheese her final decision – will she stay, or will she go and wipe out half of the remaining cash from the pot?
Adam and Jonathan try to convince Kelly to stay, but she's not buying it. She mutters something about "no honour among thieves". Again, I must point out that this woman claimed bankruptcy when she had an income of over $100,000 per year. So I'm thinking that she's realized that she will never win the money and doesn't give a rat's patootey about the rest of them. Which is fine, but be honest about it.
Big Cheese asks Kelly for her final decision. And ... she's outta there. Woot. I'll not miss her hypocrisy, nor will I mourn for the passing of that horrendous lime green track suit she was wearing. Anyway, the Cheese asks for the clock to be stopped, and the total shows $1,492,296. With Kelly's departure, the total is divided in half and now stands at $746,198. At least I think it does – I missed writing it down, so I'm just assuming that they did the math correctly.
In confessionals, Steve seems heartbroken that the money is cut in half, and can't understand why Kelly would do this to him. 'Cause he's still convinced that he will walk out of there with the cash, of course. On the other end of the spectrum, Jameson is overjoyed and sings out, "Ding dong the witch is dead!"
Back in the Inner Circle, Big Cheese explains that since someone left, another person must be brought into the game. Why? It's not like there can be a tie or anything. While everyone looks around expecting a new player to be brought in, Big Cheese announces that Richard is back in the game.
One would expect Richard to react favourably to this news, but one would be wrong. Instead, he shouts out "F**k!" and shakes his head. The rest of the group is as confused as I am, and they ask him what the heck is up with his reaction. He says that he's been humiliated and now it's going to look like he's the one who betrayed the group by not voting for Steve.
Erm, this is fuzzy logic at best. First of all, how would Richard have known that Kelly would get her sweat suit in a bunch and quit? Secondly, how would Richard have known that he'd be sent back into the game if someone left? There's something screwy going on here.
Big Cheese sends everyone away after restarting the money clock. Jamie freaks out a little and says that she doesn't want to stay there any longer with Richard. She tells Tarah that this isn't even a little bit fun for her. Jonathan says that maybe the person who screwed up the vote is now gone, but no one agrees. Most of them are pretty sure it was Richard. I wonder what their reactions were when they found out that it was really Jonathan?
Vanessa and Adam are the only ones with cool heads. Vanessa says that she wants to process what just happened, and Adam adds that Richard is feeling humiliated and betrayed. Richard joins in and says that out of all of them, he deserves the money the most because of all he's been through in the game so far. You know, I almost agree with the guy. Almost. In confessional, Steve calls Richard, "a whole bunch cuckoo" – say it out loud with a really emphatic southern drawl. I had to rewind it three times because I was laughing so hard I just had to hear it again and again.
Cut to black and white creepy shots of everyone sleeping, when the fembot announces, "Participants, sleep time has now expired". I could probably handle living with these nutjobs for a few days, but that voice would drive me out of my tree.
Everyone gets out of bed except Jamie. The stress is getting to her big time, and she's coming down with a migraine. She's also sitting in her bed with a trash can in front of her, ready to hurl. Poor girl. Richard comes along and tries to cheer her up, but isn't all that successful. She pretty much ignores him. In her confessional, she says that she tends to get migraines, and this one is a doozy. It's adding to her stress and discomfort in being there with these people.
It's Inner Circle time once more, and Jamie somehow manages to drag herself to her seat. Big Cheese points out that the game is taking its toll, especially on Jamie who is only barely able to sit there with them. He then says that, since Vanessa's time as group leader didn't result in a unanimous vote, he's assigning a new group leader. That person is Adam. Interesting choice.
That's it for the Inner Circle session. Hmm, that was effective. I'll bet Jamie's glad she dragged her ass out of bed for that.
Everyone but Jamie returns to the living room – Jamie heads back to bed. Adam decides that everyone should get a chance to explain why they think they should get the money, and someone suggests that they use a ball to indicate who has the floor. The person holding the ball gets to talk, and no one else can interrupt.
Jameson says that his personality speaks for itself. Okay. Adam says that he's a "giver" – he has only the clothes on his back and ends up giving the rest away. Richard says again that he isn't gainfully employed, and that he's $70,000 in debt. He adds that he doesn't even need this much money, because $100,000 would turn his life right around.
Steve says that he's been straight with everyone from the beginning. He wants the money for his family, for his kids. He wants to insure that he and his wife have enough money to retire on when the time comes. Richard asks for the ball back and reiterates some of the things that the others have said. It seems that every time someone says something, Richard has a "me too" moment and uses their words as his own pleas for the cash. No one, however, is impressed with this.
Adam, Steve, and Jonathan have a private conversation and all agree to look out for each other. They want to be the final three people in the running for the cash. But really, by the time they get down to three, would there be enough money left over to be worth it?
Checking in with Jamie now, she says that she's got the runs now, on top of everything else. She says that she wants to hang in there and stay in the game, but everyone says that they wouldn't blame her if she left. Oh sure they wouldn't. They'd support her in public, but then ridicule her in confessionals.
It's time to go back to the Inner Circle. Jamie goes to her locker to fetch her sunglasses first, but manages to haul herself once more into her seat. Big Cheese tells them that it's time to vote. Kelly's name is now in yellow, which is I guess supposed to shame her for leaving. Jonathan says in voiceover that he can't decide what to do now, because Steve is really a good guy.
The votes are cast, and Big Cheese starts reading them. Of course the first one is for Steve. The second vote goes to Adam. Big Cheese says that unless the next vote is for Steve, then it's not unanimous (because the vote for Adam could have come from Steve). Hey wait a minute. What if the next vote is for Adam? The vote could be unanimous if they all voted for him, right? What's up with the foregone conclusion that Steve will win?
No matter though, because the next vote is for Vanessa. In voiceover, Vanessa says that she has teamed up with Tarah and Jameson to try and get themselves back up to the top of the pecking order. Good luck with that. The rest of the votes are read: Vanessa, Jameson, Jonathan, Tarah, Tarah. Heh, Steve only got one vote this time. In confessional, he says that he can't understand what happened. I'll bet.
Since they couldn't decide who wins, now it's time to decide who won't. Instead of revealing secrets though, this time it will come down to a vote. Oh good, because so far the votes have been very effective. (end sarcasm)
To vote, each person will go into the isolation room and tell Big Cheese who they want to take out of the running. Richard pipes up and says that they should just vote him out, because he didn't get any votes this time and knows he won't next time either. The group argues with him over this for some reason. Honestly, it would serve them better to keep Richard in and take out someone who stands a chance at winning, but who knows how these people are thinking anyway. Privately, Steve says that Richard is as "crazy as a crap house rat", which could actually describe several of these people.
Adam gets to decide who votes first, and he picks Richard. Richard goes into the isolation room and tells Big Cheese that he wants to vote for himself. Um ... all right. Big Cheese tells Richard that he can't vote for himself. Hoping for a technicality argument, Richard says, "But you didn't say that out there!" Big Cheese stares at him in silence. Richard rants some more about how this sucks and he doesn't want to be there. Still silence from Big Cheese. Finally Richard votes for Adam, saying that he didn't want to do that.
Meanwhile in the Inner Circle, Adam says that he sent Richard first because he wanted the rest of them to discuss voting for him. They waffle about it, saying that Richard volunteering must have been strategy on his part.
Each person goes in to vote, and we get to see a couple of them. Jamie votes for Jonathan, and Jonathan votes for Vanessa. Of course, the episode is over before we get to see the results – that'll be next week.
In the previews for the next episode, almost everyone is shown in their regular clothes except for one person, who isn't shown at all. I won't mention who that person is 'cause I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but I'm pretty sure we can figure out who gets axed through this vote. There's another spoiler in the previews too, but again, let's not go there. We'll just say that Jamie gets sicker, alliances are all over the damn place, and there's another vote coming up.
Until next week then!
Recap time is now over. Please proceed to e-mail Carrie at carrie@realityshack.com if you're so inclined.
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