Brush up on “Blow Out” – Season Three, Episode One by Jill
Did you ever notice how much Blow Out blowhard Jonathan Antin exemplifies the seven deadly sins? Pride, greed, anger, gluttony, lust, sloth and envy - a combination of characteristics lethal to most, but surprisingly common for Jonathan. On last night’s premiere of the third season of Blow Out, we even got a glimpse into how seamlessly these sins have inhabited his very soul!
PRIDE – “I am a self-made man,” Jonathan proclaims within the first few minutes of the episode. Yes, Jonathan, we know the back story – how could we possibly forget? You opened your first salon in West Hollywood 15 years ago after growing up as a kid on the street, a high school dropout. Then, two years ago, you opened your Beverly Hills salon, a venture you can’t resist telling us cost you somewhere between $175,000 and $200,000. And then, just last year, you launched Jonathan Product, simply the world’s best hair product line, according to you, and an undertaking for which you risked somewhere between $2.5 and $3 million of your hard-earned cash. Ahh, look, he’s tearing up just thinking about all that. Oh, and you had a baby boy with fiancée Sescie.
GREED - Seemingly relieved now that he’s spent the episode’s first six minutes unburdening himself of all that important information, Jonathan proceeds to prance around one of his salons, tailed by faithful Rosie, who’s advising him of the pressing business engagements he needs to tend to that day. After all, “the reality is, you’re only as good as your last product – we have to keep inventing, otherwise we could be yesterday’s news,” Jonathan himself says. Rosie reminds him that he’s due to meet with Steve, a photographer/designer Jonathan will be collaborating with on a photo shoot, followed by some quality time with Jonathan Product VPs Tina and Beth Ann, who have flown in from New York to talk sales strategy and new products. But before he can focus on the future, he needs to do some great hair!
After some fun with follicles, Jonathan, along with salon stylist Kiara, arrives at the first of his two appointments that day, at the office of the Revolver clothing line. There, Steve shares his vision of what sort of hair he’d like his models to have in the upcoming photo shoot – “uplifted and away from the shoulders, so I can see all the details of each top,” he spells out (because, clearly, if they wore their hair down, you’d never be able to see the obnoxious leopard print or stark, white blouses he’s designed). While noncommittal about the hairstyles Steve has specified, Jonathan (who doesn’t “kiss-and tell” when it comes to hair, after all) somewhat reassures him that it’ll “be great hair, bro.” He then ditches Kiara and is off to the Luxe Hotel to get serious about the sales strategy for Jonathan Product, a meeting that quickly goes sour when he’s presented with the newest prototypes for the next phase of his hair care line.
ANGER – “It’s my name on the bottle! So that’s what matters the most to me!” Jonathan asserts to unfortunate souls Tina and Beth Ann after they show him the new bottles for Jonathan Product Create Root Lift and Finish Control Hairspray. And who came up with those crazy product names, anyway? Because Jonathan knows while he might have mentioned them in passing, he certainly didn’t approve them, making his point as crystal clear as Jonathan Product packaging by kicking the door and stomping out of the conference room. Poor Tina and Beth Ann get stuck listening to Jonathan’s manager Rob Lee try to diffuse the situation until Jonathan himself returns, offers a completely insincere apology, then leaves.
GLUTTONY – “I’m definitely on overload right now, so I need to go check in with the shrink and have a minute on the couch, sort of let some things leak out a little bit,” Jonathan sighs as he’s off to meet with his therapist, Dr. Doric George. So much is going on he doesn’t even know where to start! A new baby, “the greatest girl in the world” Sescie, an upcoming appearance at the Sundance Film Festival, engagements with QVC and “millions of dollars at stake.” What’s a guy with these problems to do, other than to break down and cry, which marks the second time in the episode that Jonathan sheds a tear over how complicated his life is. “I’m so busy, I kind of feel like I’m a juggling act in the circus,” he moans, while Dr. Doric nods and tries to look sympathetic (unconvincingly).
LUST - It’s a new dawn and a new day for Jonathan and he, along with Kiara and several feet of hair extensions, are off to work some magic on the models at Revolver. As they prepare, Jonathan lets Kiara in on a little secret, one in which Steve the photographer/designer himself isn’t even privy to – the shoot is going to become a “nude thing!” Yup, nude – forget the clothes Steve actually is paying the ladies to model because Jonathan, as always, knows best, exclaiming, “People don’t look at photos with clothes on girls, people look at photos with clothes coming off of girls… let’s show a little breast, let’s show a little thigh and some ass, and we’ll cover it all, we’ll cover it with hair!” Ahh, Jonathan, you’re so crazy! Wait until Steve finds out!
Which happens shortly thereafter. One look at the models and the expletives starting coming out of Steve’s mouth. “Honestly, this guy is really out of his mind. He didn’t tell me what he was doing, he went hog-wild, he was crazy like I never thought,” Steve says, infuriated at how Jonathan has taken over the photo shoot. But, with no time to waste and Jonathan assuring him the pictures will look great (after all, the hair does!), Steve agrees to take some test photos. Which, just as Jonathan had predicted, turn out great.
“I’m extremely pleased,” Steve says between bites of crow. Hooray for our hero and his great hair! But with no time to celebrate, Jonathan’s off to catch a flight to New York.
SLOTH – “I’m here for you; you’re going to move me? When I’m here for you?” Jonathan is incredulous when, in the midst of doing American Idol runner-up Diana DeGarmo’s hair for the premiere of the Broadway production of Hairspray, he’s told to move his equipment. Diana is needed in wardrobe and Jonathan, who’s still tweaking her tresses, must follow accordingly to finish her hair. The nerve of those people, expecting Jonathan to accommodate Diana on her night! And without so much as an offer to help him move his belongings out of the dance studio where he was working, additionally distressing as it means he may not get another opportunity to show Diana more of the dance moves he picked up from his sister, Pussycat Dolls choreographer Robin Antin; moves he was quick to flaunt earlier (perhaps a contributing factor to the time it took to finish Diana’s do). But, after a bit more grumbling, Jonathan acquiesces.
“We made it happen,” he sighs, clearly spent after the ordeal. But there’s no rest for the weary, as Jonathan’s now off to a different kind of studio – the ABC network where he’ll show off more of his handiwork and answer questions about how to handle winter hair (who knew there was such a thing?).
ENVY – “This is a big as it gets,” Jonathan says before appearing on Good Morning America with Diane Sawyer. Wow…bigger than the opening of your next salon in Hawaii? Bigger than your upcoming appearance at the Sundance Film Festival? Bigger than your dealings with QVC? Bigger than your own ego? Who would have imagined that morning hostess-with-the-mostest Diane Sawyer could inspire so much awe and admiration, especially from Jonathan! Despite some pre-show surprises—more models to style than expected, a temporary loss of power—Good Morning America is a success and Jonathan, not surprisingly, ends the episode in tears.
Comments on Blow Out? E-mail me at jill@realityshack.com.
Want to read more of my musings? Visit my blog at www.shelikestoeatthedirt.blogspot.com.
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