Starting Over 3, 03-10-06 – Surprise, Surprise, Surpriseby LauraBelle
Well, I'm not quite sure what happened after Jill's graduation. She was supposed to have a follow-up interview with the jazz radio station the morning after her graduation, and was to stay one more night in the Starting Over house. But after this episode, I got repeats of when the couples were on the show at the start of the season, then one day of no show, followed by an episode that takes place the day after Jill has left, with Kim talking about doing an anger management thing the night before with Christie. Let's just hope everybody's back on track now. They aren't making it very easy for the reviewer her to keep up.
I will admit, though, that it was a heck of an episode to come back to. Everyone's all tense, waiting for their new housemate, and while some are sad, realizing the hole that Jill left, Kim is a little giddy with excitement, at the thought of Starting Over with a new housemate.
While everyone else is discussing their fears and joys of getting a new housemate, Kelly meets with Rhonda to discuss her son's football game the next night. It will be the first time she has seen her family since coming to the Starting Over house. This is an important game, as it will be Kelly's son's last. Rhonda has Kelly write down on cards all the ways she feels she has failed as a parent. As a parent myself, it's hard to watch and listen to. No one wants to recount that, but if you're going to rebuild relationships with your children, I suspect it needs to be.
Rhonda meets with Kim after this to discuss Kim's feelings of being prepared for a new housemate, no matter what type of person she is. And it's a good thing, because at the same time, Dr. Stan is meeting with the new housemate in a coffee shop. The new housemate turns out to be Melinda, Kim's mother. How's that for a turn of events?
Once Melinda show sup at the house, Kim seems pleasantly surprised. Although, just the night before she was taking out her anger at her mother. Her mother is the whole reason she's at the house getting help. Even Kelly, who has a hard time being close to people, finds it odd.
Everyone sits down for Group with Dr. Stan and Rhonda, as we learn about Melinda, just as we do with every new housemate. As Melinda starts to talk about her own childhood, we start to see similarities between her and Kim, and understand how Melinda could do what she did to Kim just a bit more.
Melinda's mother had married and divorced several different men by the time Melinda was still quite young. She ended up being raised by her mother and grandmother who were both alcoholics. She felt her grandmother was particularly mean. When Melinda was eighteen, her mom died from cirrhosis of the liver, from too many years of heaving drinking.
As Melinda gets closer and closer to the time in her story where she abandoned Kim, Dr. Stan notices Kim starting to shut down. Melinda says she divorced Kim's dad, and it was a difficult time for her, as she had been so dependent on others in her life, like her mother, grandmother, and Kim's father.
Melinda gave up Kim, and she admits it was a big mistake. She was married to her second husband, and looking to relocate. She just wanted someone to take care of Kim for just a little bit, so she dropped her off at her ex-husband's, intending to come back. She did come back a month later, but her ex wouldn't give up Kim, and refused to allow Melinda to be alone with her, probably fearing she'd just take her and run.
Melinda isn't sure of her ex's reasonings for this, but admits to being a drinker at the time, but not an alcoholic. She also knew her ex didn't approve of her new husband, and looking back on it now, figures he was justified. She left without Kim, went on with her life, and never made another attempt at contact because of her guilt.
It wasn't until fifteen years later, when Kim was twenty-one, that she searched for her mother and found her. Kim was even lucky enough to meet her maternal grandfather, but she never got to see him again. As another alcoholic, and taking the drug alcoholics do to prevent them from drinking, he asked his wife to make him a martini. While she was in the other room fixing it, she heard a loud boom. Returning to him, she found him dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
With Kim clearly having difficult listening to all this, the Group is dismissed, with Melinda and Kim sticking around to talk privately with Dr. Stan and Rhonda. Kim and Melinda are asked their intentions, and Kim acknowledges this will be tough for her, but she's open to it. Melinda's intention is for Kim to ultimately forgive her in the end. She also wants Kim to know that the only important people in her life are her and Jax. Kim is encouraged to look beyond "mom" and see the woman that Melinda is.
All the other housemates gather in the kitchen to discuss what this will mean for Kim, and for all of them, as Christie has similar issues with her own mother, and Jodi has issues with her father. Both Kelly and Lisa have problems with their kids, so watching Kim and Melinda try to reconnect, with Melinda making amends, and Kim working to learn to forgive, will be a great learning tool for everyone.
I can't imagine what must be going through Kim's head. I know for myself, with surprises like that, I slam a door and walk out. Kim, though, learned early on to tune it all out and just move on. I'm afraid and excited for her all at the same time.
You can email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com
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