Starting Over 3, 02-03-06 – Facing The Truthby LauraBelle
Kim has had a particularly hard time facing the truth while in the Starting Over house. Everyone knows it is her way of defending herself from the horrors she grew up with, but regardless of that, in order to heal, she has to begin facing it. Lisa1, for her part, needs to do her own facing of the truth. As we all feared, Mr. Internet is still in the picture.
Rhonda comes to the house to meet with Christie, and while waiting, Lisa1 lures her into the kitchen to show her that she is making dinner, actually cooking. She refers to herself as The Happy Cooker. Jodi asks if that is a play on words for Happy Hooker, and I can only imagine if Christina were still around she would be shooting daggers with her eyes right about now. Jodi says privately that she thinks Lisa1 is just trying to score some brownie points with Rhonda, as she knows she'll be in trouble once Rhonda finds out that she is still emailing with Mr. Internet.
In their meeting, Christie tells Rhonda that she wrote a letter to her boyfriend, Justin, and wants to email it to him. She had just disclosed earlier in the morning to Lisa2 that she and her sister are dating brothers, and they all like to party a lot. Christie described it as still having the high school mentality. She knows now, though, that she can't be around the alcohol anymore, and admits to Rhonda that the day she came home from detox, Justin asked her if he could have a beer in front of her, and did. Christie says she can't believe now that he even asked her that.
As Christie reads the letter to Rhonda, Rhonda notices that she never actually asks Justin to support her and refrain from drinking around her in the letter. Christie explains it's because she didn't want to seem like she was placing an ultimatum on him, but looking at it again, she realizes she is doing that, and needs to.
Rhonda thinks that one of Christie's many addictions is having a man in her life at all times, no matter who the man is. Immediately after she and her husband split up, Christie hooked up with Justin. Even to this day, her divorce hasn't been finalized. After Christie agrees to redo a few things in the letter, Rhonda tells her later in the day she will be meeting with an ex-addict.
Kim does her homework from a few days ago, of calling three friends and asking when they have seen her place unrealistic expectations on them. Her friends don't remember her doing it to them, but they do recall her doing it to her husband, Jeff. They point specifically to Kim expecting Jeff to jump into family mode the minute he walks in the door from work, when he really just wants to relax for a little bit.
As Dr. Stan arrives at the house, all the available housemates gather around him. Lisa1 says they can't help it, as they looked and saw an attractive man at the door. He jokes that he knows they've been in there awhile without seeing any men, but ... in reality he knows no one knows which one of them he is there to see.
The lucky recipient today is Jodi, as Dr. Stan hasn't met her yet. She explains to him her story of her parents divorce, her difficult relationship with her dad, her abortion, her lack of relationships the past ten years and her weight gain that she says she uses as a shield. With Dr. Stan wondering why she has these weight issues, Jodi explains when she and her sister would spend summers with their father, he was always putting them on diets. She grew up thinking he wouldn't love her if she was overweight.
Realizing the similarities, and not being the first one at that, Dr. Stan brings Jill into the conversation. He realizes they both lacked having a strong male figure consistently in their lives. Dr. Stan asks Jill what her reaction would be if a friend set her up on a blind date. Jill says she wouldn't do it, as she's afraid the man would be disappointed in the real Jill, as the real Jill isn't the Jill the friend knows. She fears the date wouldn't find her attractive enough. Dr. Stan tells her being rejected is just all part of finding a healthy relationship eventually. He is sending both Jill and Jodi to see "The Dating Doctor." Previously he had helped Allison.
Kim meets with Rhonda to tell her what her friends told her about her unrealistic expectations. She mentions, too, that her friends want her to open up, but she finds it difficult. One of Kim's friends saw her scars on her arms one time, and asked how it had happened, and Kim explained she was shot, but wouldn't explain how. Rhonda can't believe that Kim can talk about this all so matter-of-factly. She jumps in here and asks Kim point blank (no pun intended) if she was shot. She was shot, but it was an accident. She was playing at a male friend's house, and he took her in his house to show her a handgun that was out. He jokingly aimed it at her, and it went off. Kim had been holding a coffee cup, and the bullet entered and exited her arm a few times. She told him it was okay, as she knew it was only an accident.
Rhonda feels Kim uses her intelligence to cover and make the world seem safer for herself. She tells Kim that paramount to everything right now, Kim needs to stop being resistant to her healing process. Rhonda believes Kim tells these long, elaborate stories so that she doesn't have to concentrate on her feelings, and what is actually happening to her.
Kim's marriage is used by Rhonda to show Kim that the things she is most afraid of, is what she keeps doing. She is afraid of being in a loveless marriage, but keeps doing things to enforce that loveless idea. Rhonda says that most people run away from their worst nightmare, but Kim sits there recreating it again and again. Kim is given a t-shirt and told to write down on it her worst nightmares.
Jill and Jodi meet with "The Dating Doctor," David, in a tea shop. He asks the ladies what their excuses are for not meeting men. Jodi says she uses her weight as an excuse, but David says men are very visual, and he doesn't see her weight. He sees someone that is sassy and sexy. But, he adds, men are also looking for confidence. David has Jodi walk back into the coffee shop and sit at a table opposite he and Jill. He wants her to show him how she would show a man across the room that she is interested in him. As she does this, she just gives a creepy kind of stare to him, prompting him to ask what she's doing. Jodi explains she was "devouring" him with her eyes.
David gets up and changes places with Jodi to show her how it's done. He looks up at her, then once he catches her eye, engages her in conversation. He asks to look at the paper she's looking at, and then asks if she was reading the Dining Out section. When she says she was, he asks for her favorite type of food. Hearing "sushi", David asks where her favorite sushi restaurant was. Jodi thought he was trying to ask her out on a date, but he says he was trying to create a bond with her by engaging in conversation.
Jill gets up and gives a crack at it, and proves to be a good student. She walks slowly into the coffee shop while she looks at David repeatedly. As the man behind the counter asks what she would like, she glances at David and Jodi's table, and asks if that's the special. When they say no, and say what they are drinking, it prompts more responses and questions from Jill. David stops the exercise and says Jill did great. He tried to ignore her, but couldn't.
Christie meets up with the recovering addict, Stephanie, who tells Christie she has been sober for 126 days ... this time. She remarkably has a similar history as Christie, and started drinking as young as five years old. By the time she was nineteen, she was into speed. Stephanie went into rehab at 29, only to relapse later. Not so shockingly for how things work in the Starting Over house, Christie asks, and hears that Stephanie's trigger was her boyfriend. She says one of the first things they tell you in rehab, is that the first thing you have to change in your life is everything. Christie realizes she might just have to give up Justin. Christie and Stephanie make plans to attend a meeting together.
The two Lisas are in the kitchen having some cocktails. Not even thinking, Christie walks in and nearly drinks one of them. Lisa2 tells her not to, forcing Christie to realize there's alcohol in the drinks. She asks the others not to hide the alcohol from her. It was the hiding that got her to almost take a drink of one by accident.
As all the women but Kim are sitting down to eat dinner, Rhonda shares with them the trouble Kim is having facing the truth. If no one at the Starting Over house is going to be willing to tell her the truth, then there is no point in her even being there. As Rhonda leaves to go talk to Kim, the women go over what they will say to Kim. Jodi feels that Kim is always being fake. Lisa2 says Kim kept talking to her during Jill's sentencing hearing, and she thought it was rude. Lisa1 says it's a good thing she wasn't sitting next to her, as she would've told her to shut up. Jodi points out Lisa1 was sitting next to her, but Kim knew the response she would get out of Lisa1, so didn't bother talking to her. Jill tells the women it's going to be very hard to tell this all to Kim.
Christie talks to Justin on the phone, and tells her to expect an email from her. In the process, she explains that the email is asking him to take this journey with her. Justin asks if this means he can't have a beer in her house. Christie says yes. There can no longer be alcohol in her house, and she can't be around it at all, at least for awhile. Justin seems very hesitant, to say the least. He says it's not like he gets out of control when he drinks beer, and she brings up incidents that make us realize there must have been some troubles before. Justin is astounded that Christie would dump him over something like this. I don't think the guy is getting it, that is is about Christie saving herself.
Rhonda now asks Kim what she learned today while talking to her friends about their experiences with her. Kim says she feels pathetic and helpless. She wants to be able to express her emotions, but doesn't know how. Rhonda is still trying to break that steely veneer, and asks Kim how it feels to know others can't give her feedback because she gets too defensive. Kim doesn't see it that way, but Rhonda explains further saying when people are defensive, it's because they don't want to be wrong, and they want to always be in control.
Kim is finally starting to crack, and says she is beginning to get worried that she can't be helped. When Kim expresses concern that Rhonda is going to give up on her, Rhonda assures her that won't happen, then prepares Kim for facing her housemates and getting some honest feedback. She says if Kim doesn't feel she can handle it at this point, it can wait, but Kim wants to do it, as long as Rhonda will stay by her side.
This is one that it will be interesting to see how it plays out. Just like with Lisa1, it's hard to believe Kim will pull it out in the end, but we want her to. As far as Lisa1, in the previews we see Rhonda confronting her about her ongoing contact with Mr. Internet, followed by the voiceover saying that Lisa1 will pay the ultimate price, as Rhonda announces a Board of Review that night. I hope "ultimate price" means facing BOR and not getting the heave ho. It would be a shame to get kicked out at this point, so close to getting it altogether.
You can email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com
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