Starting Over 3, 01-31-06 – "Where's The Flowers? Where's The Pool?"by LauraBelle
Today is the day Jill has been working towards for the past few weeks. It's the day of her sentencing hearing on ten counts of living an unfulfilled life. She's getting a makeover from stylist Dianne Bailey, and wants to be able to look in the mirror and see a woman that came out of hiding. Iyanla visits her and tells her to be prepared to fight for her life in her plea for leniency in her sentencing. Jill plans to tell how she has changed, especially with how she views her life. Iyanla tells her to try harder, as that will not be enough to convince this judge.
Jill's mother, Lynda, is still visiting. She visits with the other women while she waits for Jill to get ready, and says she has learned a lot about her while here in the Starting Over house. Growing up Jill was very popular and well-rounded. Lynda didn't realize the weight issue would continue to be a problem for her throughout her life.
Lynda thought she was the perfect mother, and not so coincidentally, she says since she has been in the Starting Over house, she has drank more than she has in the past two months. She knows it's because she has faced more demons here. Kim offers that she and the other gals could be Lynda's support group. Lynda says it's great in a way, as it's the first time in her life she hasn't had to worry about anything but being truthful. The others wish they could speak the truth so easy, and Lynda says it comes with her age of sixty-two, and that they'll find it themselves someday.
Not everyone spends their day waiting for the sentencing hearing. Lisa1 meets with Allison, a Tupperware consultant, and realizes Rhonda knows her pretty well. She knows that Lisa1 wouldn't want to be cooped up in an office. Looking at the items Allison brought with her, Lisa1 says the Tupperware today is quite different than the stuff her mom used to sell at Tupperware parties. She thinks it's even kind of funky.
Allison tells Lisa1 about the benefits of working for Tupperware as a consultant. She had been in debt, and took this on part time as way to help get out of debt. Within eleven weeks she was driving a company car. After nine weeks she was able to quit her full time job to concentrate on selling Tupperware. She tells Lisa1 the two things needed to be successful are desire and effort. Lisa realizes she will have a difficult client draw, as her friends aren't the type to cook.
Later that night, Lisa1 presents the new Jill to her housemates and mother. She looks adorable and funky and loaded with spirit. Her hair is shorter now, and she is wearing her new lighter glasses. In a pink outfit that Iyanla has picked out for her, we can now see the authentic Jill. She was hiding far too long.
As everyone leaves for the sentencing hearing, both Jill and her housemates are feeling like this is it for Jill. They feel this is her graduation. Jill doesn't expect to be coming back to the house. Something just doesn't sound right about that statement.
Everyone is kind of shocked that Jill's sentencing hearing is in a real courtroom. The jury box is filled with her housemates, mother and spiritual advisors.In the front of the room stands Miss Mabel, looking dressed for the occasion. The defense attorney is, of course, Iyanla, and the prosecuting attorney is actress Yvonne Stickney. The judge is none other than actress and ordained minister, Della Reese.
Iyanla says she is asking the court to administer a sentence for Jill to graduate. Ms. Stickney says she is representing the Universe of Life, and will present a case showing that there is no evidence that Jill has not fully realized her self value and self worth, and that she will go back to her old ways once she graduates. She is requesting a sentence of Jill not graduating until she can honor her authentic self.
Jill stands to speak for herself, and says she was indeed guilty of those ten indictments, but she has changed. As evidence, she explains her baggage exercise of carrying around items that represented her sadness, anger and self-sabotage, among others. She talks of learning that Miss Mabel represented her authentic self, who she was as a child – beautiful, innocent, pure and happy. Iyanla asked her to put the clothes from her baggage on Miss Mabel, and she realized she covered up all the beautiful things she came from. The breakthrough for Jill came when she stopped being resistant to the truth. She is now able to disconnect from the word "fat", as she realizes that word does not define who she is.
On an obstacle course, Jill learned about letting go and accepting guidance from others. She now sees that as one of the most amazing experiences in her life. When she really learned the source of the problems was Iyanla's lesson with following directions and cutting corners. Jill realized it was the root of her handicap, always looking for the easy way out. Another influential exercise was a puppet show she put on with Iyanla. Jill operated the Jill puppet, and Iyanla the Father puppet. Jill learned the pain she was hiding from growing up not knowing her father.
Her most influential lesson wasn't an exercise, though. She has lived a lifetime of self-sabotaging behaviors such as cupcake diets and a her pack-a-day cigarette habit. Alone in a grocery store with all her former reasons for bad behavior (mad at her mother, mad at her housemates and it was her birthday), Jill walked down the aisle and had a conversation with a cupcake trying to decide whether to eat it or not. She realized that cupcake represented her whole life. No one was watching ... no life coach, housemates, camera crew ... but she was. Jill has now learned to stick to commitments when no one is watching but herself.
Ms. Stickney objects for the prosecution, saying there is no evidence she would continue this behavior without her life coach. She is overruled by Judge Reese.
Jill continues and says she was alone, and did it. She feels she mastered it. Ms. Stickney objects again and says she hasn't proven mastery of anything here. Iyanla speaks up for the defense, and says Jill has stated an ability to overcome. She won't ever know true mastery until she graduates. Ms. Reese overrules once again.
From this day out, Jill intends to live life in harmony and make all of he dreams come true. Iyanla has helped her to see she needs to keep it simple, and that only she can make her life difficult. Thinking is hazardous to her healing, but her heart can never do her harm. She pledges to honor God, like all in his creation, and will love herself, just as she does now.
Ms. Stickney states the prosecution's case, and says Jill has seemed adamant at harboring self-loathing all her life with habits such as her eating and smoking. This is a disservice to herself and all other women. She needs to become an example for others, and she has not demonstrated this. Judge Reese responds to this, and says you cannot expect only one person to be responsible for all the people she comes in contact with. Pulling just herself up is hard enough. She seems to be recognizing she has been holding herself back, and that's the first step.
Judge Reese asks Jill to stand and presents her sentence. No graduation will take place for Jill until she meets the following conditions. Jill makes a hilarious interjection here, obviously filmed after the fact, back at the house. "Where's the flowers? Where's the pool?" This is obviously referencing the graduation ceremonies with flowers and floating candles inside the pool.
Continuing, Judge Reese says the first condition Jill has to meet is to make an earnest effort to contact and communicate with her father, no matter the past or the pain. Secondly, she is to make a concerted effort to secure employment not just to make a living, but something that she can't wait to go to every day. Lastly, Jill is required to spend an evening in the company of a man. If these requirements are fulfilled, she will be eligible to graduate.
As the ceremony ends, there is a choir offering up some very spiritual singing. Lynda tells Jill she is proud of her, and Jill hugs her mother and says she loves her. Her mom says she did good. Jill says she's not afraid, as it's all about owning who she is. If she does the work, grace will step in to support her. For the first time in her life, she doesn't want to take the shortcut.
Lisa1 says the race is on to see who will graduate first. She thinks both her and Jill have some work to do.
I have to say I'm kind of glad Jill didn't graduate. For one, I'd miss watching her every day. For another, I don't want her to take the shortcut either. I cry every time a graduate leaves, and I want to be sure as I watch her walk out to that limo, as my eyes fill with tears, that she will be living a fulfilled life. After all, something struck me while watching this today. I knew Jill was close in age to me, but hearing her birth year today, 1964, I realize we are exactly the same age. I've successfully overcome many demons in my own closet, but there's a few still hiding out. If she can get rid of them all and stick to it, I'll know I can too.
You can email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com
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