Starting Over 3, 01-24-06 – Woman of Honorby LauraBelle
Christina has grown so much in the Starting Over house, it's hard to remember from whence she came. It's hard to remember her hustling Iyanla and lying about her assignment, blaming it all on Jessica, who ended up becoming one of her better friends in the house. It's hard to remember getting on the internet to show the ladies her pictures on the web, only to spend weeks trying to earn money to get them taken off the fetish websites.
Iyanla leads Group, and instructs Christina to sit with her. Tonight will be her first graduation ... ever. They review her completed steps of dropping the hustle, breaking addiction, defining her values and discovering new paths. Looking at her old self portrait, it's a wilted flower, but Iyanla notes the stem was still strong. In her new portrait, there is a box that says "Tool Box of Life of Joy." Different tools are scattered all over, with words on them like honor, forgiveness, persistence, etc.
Jill says since they all arrived at the Starting Over house, she has watched Christina's progress. She always admired that she didn't settle for less. She turned the hustle into something positive and beautiful. Jill respects that. Lisa1 says she always connected to Christina on a superficial level, and couldn't picture what this little girl came from. But at the Board of Review, when Christina didn't run for the hills, Lisa1 saw her strength, to step into her power, and turn it around. Lisa1 sees her as a force of nature.
Iyanla asks Christina how much money she has raised to get her pictures off the internet. Christina says after selling her belongings and art, she has nearly $200. Iyanla says after some negotiation, she now has the money she needs to get the pictures off the fetish websites. It truly means a lot to Christina to get rid of those. She cries just at the thought.
Andy Paige arrives for the traditional Starting Over graduation makeover. Iyanla asks that the makeover reflect the woman of honor Christina has become. She believes they should go back to basics, and Andy agrees. She wants to get her some anchor pieces that she can easily accessorize. Iyanla believes Christina is well on her way to becoming a magnificent princess.
Christina and Andy go clothing shopping at a store called Indexx. Andy pulled some things out for her already, focusing on modern, feminine, and basic. She believes Christina needs a basic power suit, the type she can just walk into an interview with. Christina is appreciative of this after being told by the career counselor she wasn't dressed appropriately. Andy tells her the pants she tries on are a little tight. They should skim the body, but not be revealing. Also, a jacket shouldn't be anymore than four fingers past the hip bone. Later at a salon, Andy says she wants Christina to look like a woman on a business mission, and she gets highlights and a fresh cut.
Lisa1 meets with Rhonda and tells her she always knew intellectually what she was doing with Mr. Internet was wrong. But he was her addiction, like shooting heroin. When they talked last time and she tried to clear things up and tell him she wasn't that kind of girl, he called her a tart, and said she wanted it so badly. She says it hit her then, how wrong this was. Rhonda has her doubts, and wonders if Lisa1 is still just telling her what she thinks she wants to hear.
Rhonda asks where Mr. Internet is now, and Lisa1 claims to not know, saying she hasn't emailed he since being in the cage. But us viewers watched her do just that the night after the cage. Rhonda asks if he emails her, what she will do, and Lisa1 says she doesn't know.
Lisa is given a set of crutches and will have to walk on them the next forty-eight hours. Asked what her crutches are, Lisa1 knows the first is Mr. Internet, and the second is her parents. They are her fall-back plan. When Rhonda calls her a follower, Lisa1 says she noticed last night when they were planning Christina's party, that there was no one to take charge. With TJ and Allison gone, no one else has stepped up. She is to put 3 of her crutches on each crutch, and she has an opportunity to walk crutch-free before her forty-eight hours are up by eliminating the "crutches" from her life .
Iyanla greets Lisa2 and is carrying some large purple bags. Lisa2 isn't so sure she is going to like this. (Note to Lisa: Ask Jill about the time Iyanla greeted her carrying bags.) Lisa2 keeps saying how ashamed she is, and eventually owns up to something from her past. She has never told anyone but her husband and her daughter. Just before they got married whens she was 19, she had an abortion. She wanted to start their life out picture perfect. She has never forgiven herself, but wants to.
There is two empty patterned bags and two filled purple bags. Lisa2 is to take these items to a place she is directed to, and take them out of the purple bags. She is to walk up to the nearest person and ask which is the best for her. She is to continue in this manner until all the items have been gone through, then bring them back to Iyanla.
Lisa2 arrives in a shopping area and begins asking people to choose items fromo the bag for her. These people choose a blue patterned garment (hard to tell what it is) because you can wear it with any color and it will wash up nice too, a leopard hat, purple terry sweatpants because they're always good, and a pair of blue shoes because they look comfortable.
When Lisa2 returns the items to Iyanla, she is asked what she does when presented with a problem. She says she usually walks away or let others do it for her. This is her comfort zone. We kind of knew this was coming, but now for the next few days, Lisa2 will be wearing that outfit she let strangers pick out for her, as that is usually how she lives her life, letting others make choices for her, just to escape that responsibility.
Preparing for Christina's graduation, Jill says she has seen her grow tremendously and into her power. She likes the way she has flip flopped the negative things and turned her hustling into a positive. Lisa1 is not surprised at all to see her graduating, but also acknowledged she isn't used to being at the back of the line. She is beginning to think she will either be at the Starting Over house forever, or Rhonda will kick her out for being a liar. Also not a surprise, Jessica shows up for the ceremony. She out to start asking to be paid for this as a celebrity guest spot.
Christina walks down for the ceremony in a gorgeous power suit with short dark hair with just a few blonde streaks. She is the picture of a young gal out to set the business world on fire.
Iyanla starts the ceremony by saying when her mother died, she left her one thing, a set of classic bone china that was ugly as hell. She eventually threw it all away, but for one plate. She later ran into t hat one plate, and admiring it, it slipped an broke. It was now fine china cracked in many places. She sees Christina in much the same way.
It took Christina courage to come to Starting Over, and Iyanla points out the looking a that innocence and sweet face, no one could fathom the life that she walked away from. Iyanla revisits Christina facing her old hustling ways by hustling her roommates and strangers, but those were assignments. She also hustled Iyanla, making her none too happy with her. They all loved her enough to call her out on her hustling, and Christina learned there was no easy way out.
Eventually at the infamous Board of Review, Iyanla presented Christina with her pictures off the internet and called her out on everything. But she survived, quit hustling, and became real, crying to Iyanla about wanting to run home when it got difficult, and eventually grabbing clay and throwing it around outside to release her frustrations.
When Iyanla knew Christina was definitely on the right path was when she had her establishing values by finding them out in the rock garden. Christina cried that day saying some day she wanted her baby to be proud of her and who she is. When Iyanla knew for sure Christina would make it was when Dr. Stan had her identifying her three different hustling personalities. Christina eventually tore them down and made them into art, a beautiful flower.
Every tear Christina shed, every exercise she did, every dishonorable thing remembered, gave her a total realization of how valuable, worth and loved she truly is. Christina looked in the mirror one day and forgave herself for looking at herself as a dollar sign and not a person. Iyanla says she is a fine piece of china that finally recognized her own value.
Rhonda hopes that Christina will really know the mother she is, embrace the mother she has, share the mothering around her and stand for another type of mother. She hopes she will be able to say she has done hard things for the sake of her son and herself.
Dr. Stan believes there are many challenges for someone like Christina. In her earlier life, she had looks, money, men, but never self respect. Christina told him that if those challenges come knocking gain, she isn't sure what she will do. He believes men may be titillated by her and desire her even more, and pretend to not know what it's about. Yet he hopes she finds a man of honor who isn't ashamed of her past, accepts who she is, admires her for her courage to make changes, and embraces who she is today.
The only housemate shown speaking is Jill, who says it took them so long to bond, but t here was never any animosity, and they were always polite. Yet as they grew, they became good friends. Jill loves Christina so much, and wishes nothing but the best for her.
As gifts for her graduation, Christina receives real estate agent classes, art classes, and at trip to New York to shop again with Andy Paige to choose a professional wardrobe. There are two other surprises guests – Deborah and Jackson. They STILL haven't left! Jackson presents his mommy with her last gift. Her G.E.D. degree.
Christina says she was asked multiple times when she hit rock bottom, but didn't know. She now knows it's when she came to the Starting Over house, and acknowledges it took her forever to realize that. She thanks Deborah and Jackson for coming out, saying she doesn't know what she would do without them. She has realized all you need is you and all she needs is her to make changes.
As she says goodbye to her housemates, Christina says the most valuable things to come from her stay in the house is valuable friendships, the love and the support. She created it. It is priceless, genuine, and will last a lifetime.
Jill is outside by herself later that night. She says Christina was the last piece of her support system. Right now, she feels very alone. The only other original housemate left is Lisa1, and Jill thinks she is just too much of a basketcase right now. Jill is all alone.
I'm not sure what the heck is going on with Lisa1, but I suspect she is on the brink of a breakthrough. But it's going to be real tough for her to get there. She will eliminate a bit crutch if she just deletes Mr. Internet's email address from her address book, and if she permanently blocks herself from receiving his emails. It might be too big of a step for her to make just yet, though.
What do you think of Christina's time in the house? You can email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com
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