But It Worked for Ryan Sutter! – The Bachelor: Paris, Episode 2 by Carrie
Apparently this new edition of The Bachelor is doing well, either in the ratings battle or in the columns of entertainment critics (forgive me for not having the time to check on that), because not only are we getting the second episode tonight, but also a rerun/recap of the first episode that has been scaled down to include "never before seen footage". Holy run-on sentence, Batman. If you missed the premiere, check out the gory details right here. As for the new footage, well let's just skim over that quickly and get to the good stuff.
Repeat Premiere Hour
The first hour of Bachelor goodness begins, as it did last week, with a montage of scenes from previous seasons. Only this time they actually included Charlie and his group of women (including uber-bitch Sarah "if only I wasn't so gorgeous" W.), and the clips ran on for what seemed like half the episode. Speaking of clips, there were then a bunch shown from international versions of The Bachelor. I'm curious though as to why the British, who come up with most of the cool reality show ideas, haven't picked up on this one. Or how about a Scottish version, with Craig Ferguson as The Bachelor? I'd pay to see that. Moving on ...
We get more rehash of Travis' life as an ER doctor, and then he confesses that he was approached while out for beers and dinner with friends to be on The Bachelor. He didn't want to do it initially, but his sister threatened to kick his ass if he turned it down, so next thing he knew he was on a plane to Paris. I wonder if my brother would do it if I told him he had to. Probably not.
Travis arrives in Paris, as do the women. We get shots of Dr. Stork not being able to speak French at the same cafe he walked into and ordered a baguette from last week, then some interesting scenes of the bachelorettes getting ready to meet "the man of their dreams" in their hotel rooms. If "man of my dreams" had been the drinking game word of the evening, I would have been hammered after that five-minute segment.
Travis meets the women, they goof around in the chateau waiting for him to come inside, and then there are lots of clips of the ladies being catty while others get to talk to Travis one-on-one. Nothing unusual here. This is followed by a quick rerun of the Rose Ceremony, which turned into a nightmare for one Dr. Allie G., who couldn't fathom that a professional man in his 30's wouldn't want to settle down and reproduce. The only real entertaining bit that they added this time was Allie saying that she gave up "big bucks; big dollars" to be there. $1500 a day, to be precise. If she makes $1500 a day, then she can afford to take a few days off. I'm just sayin'. This is followed by a pretty funny confessional from Travis, who mentions that Allie kept talking about how she wants to reproduce, and asks, "Who says that?". Indeed.
And now we move on to ...
The Actual Second Episode
The actual second episode of the show starts off with ... a recap of the premiere. Again. Argh. Right away I can spot at least one of the girls who will be cut tonight. How? Well we've seen the premiere twice now, and clips at least half a dozen times, and I still look at this one blonde chick and think, "Who the hell is that?" No storyline = no rose. Sorry Elizabeth, unless you get major face time tonight, we won't be seeing you again.
The women arrive at their new digs – a "country manor" complete with deer heads on the walls (yuck), a swimming pool, and a carousel. Seriously, a carousel, with little cars and bikes that go 'round and 'round, and a pink big-top. Already I can picture Travis and his chosen make-out partner trying to look comfy on this thing as they smooch for the cameras.
After the girls run around and check out the house, host Chris Harrison arrives in what appears to be his 'casual' look – jeans, a beige turtleneck, and something that looks like a navy blue suit jacket with no lapels. Not lovin' it. Anyway, Chris welcome the ladies to their new abode, and tells them that since Kristen got the last rose at the Rose Ceremony, she will be going on the first individual date. Kristen is giddy – until Chris reveals that if she doesn't get a rose after the date, she's on the next flight back to the US.
There will, of course, be two group dates this week as well, and at each one there will be a single ominous rose available to be handed out. Travis will dispense the rose to whoever he feels a connection with on the group date, and that lucky lady will be 'safe' during the next Rose Ceremony. The girls all look at each other, and you just know that the claws are already coming out.
Chris has the first date box in front of him, and Nashville Sarah runs up to grab it. Inside are maps, a snowglobe, and a little replica of a double-decker bus, along with a note from Travis inviting Cole, Yvonne, Nashville Sarah, Jehan, and Elizabeth to go sight-seeing with him. They're all giddy and weird, you know, like women get when the only male company they're exposed to is Chris Harrison and a bachelor they're all fighting over.
Group Date The First
The double-decker bus arrives, and it's been pimped. The seats are removed, and there's a little love nest at the back consisting of a round red leather bench thing, and lots of pillows and champagne. The top of the bus remains intact, however, so they can all sit up there are enjoy the scenery.
Travis asks the women what activities they love and would never be able to give up. Jehan mentions some healthy-sounding outdoor activities, but Yvonne says that she could never give up shopping – she gets exercise, and she looks great too! Okay Yvonne, damage control time honey. But she makes matters worse by saying that she's actually been camping – in a Gucci tent. Our dear Dr. Stork is not impressed, since he loves the outdoors and hopping on a bike to go for a ride.
Travis wants to spend some alone time with each of the ladies, and Cole is the first to score this coveted opportunity. Just as Travis is telling Cole that he's glad she's there, the Eiffel Tower lights up behind him and his lovely companion is momentarily distracted. They enjoy the sight, and then Cole gives him a little pink rose to thank him for giving her a rose the other night. Awww.
Meanwhile, back at the chateau, Kristen is goofing around and suggesting they make wedding dresses out of toilet paper. Somewhere Trista is mortified. She gets her date box, and in it is a note from Travis saying that he will be taking her on a Seine River cruise.
The group date is still plodding along. They arrive at the Arc de Triomphe, and go up to the roof to get a beautiful view of the city. It starts to rain just as the group comes upon some tables set up for them to sit at. Travis, being the gentleman that he is, offers the dry chairs to the women and sits in the wet one himself. (I avoided the obvious wet spot joke here, but it wasn't easy.)
Yvonne sees the single red rose on the table, and mentions to Travis that she doesn't want to pressure him, but it would make things much easier on all of them if he would just decide who it's going to. Travis doesn't take the bait, and says that he still needs some time.
Jehan is the next one to get some private time with the Bachelor, and they head off to sit somewhere under blankets and umbrellas to take in the view. They talk, and Travis comments in voiceover how Jehan is always smiling. She says that the most important things in her life are nature, church, and health. Somehow Travis gets the impression from this answer that he can easily see himself hanging out and sharing a few beers with Jehan. Doesn't that sound romantic?
Travis excuses himself and heads back to the tables, where he retrieves the rose from its platter. The other girls look on in envy as Travis smiles meekly and walks away, obviously intending to give the rose to Jehan. He appears back at the scene of the blankets, hiding the rose under his coat, and presents it to Jehan. She's thrilled, of course, and gives him a hug. In voiceover, Cole says that Sarah and Elizabeth each thought the other would get the rose, but she thought she'd end up with it herself. She's very disappointed.
Kristen's Date
Before the big date, Kristen sits at the manor house working on a poem for Travis. Nashville Sarah tries to help her, but says privately that she doesn't think that Kristen is his type. Because she knows Travis so well already, I guess. Meanwhile, the good doctor himself is on the phone with Kristen's mom asking what her favourite type of food is (Italian). Okay, I know the producers came up with this idea, but still, how sweet is that?
Travis arrives and whisks Kristen, who has packed her bags just in case, away for their cruise. The other women all decide that Kristen will not be getting a rose, nor will she return to the manor house. Now I'm hoping that she will get a rose and return, but somehow I have a feeling they're right. Blame it on all of the clips that ABC has already shown of this date.
On the boat, Travis and Kristen make small talk. She says in a voiceover that she felt a connection and that she can see herself getting a rose tonight. As Kristen speaks though, Travis is not responding. Well, I mean, he's talking to her and all, but he looks like he's just putting in face time. Rats. I like Kristen, she's fun. She reads her poem to Travis, and he thanks her for it before she's even finished. This is not going well.
Travis brings dinner to the table, and Kristen is flattered and excited that he spoke with her mother to find out what her favourite food was. The rose is also sitting on the table, and Kristen thinks that this is because Travis has already decided that he wants her to stay, and now the rest of the evening can go ahead without any pressure. Poor Kristen. When she awkwardly inquires about the rose, Travis says that it's just there to remind them that he has a decision to make at the end of the night. Ouch.
Over dinner, Kristen grabs an orange and tells Travis that she has a trick for him to help him with younger patients, to make them giggle and be more at ease. She cuts away the fruit from a wide orange segment, and cuts slits in the peel. She turns her head away, and when she looks back at Travis the orange peel is sticking out from her top lip and looks like a set of fake monster teeth. I admit it, I giggled. But then I saw the look on Travis' face, and I sobered up real quick. Again, poor Kristin. She asks if he would give her a rose looking like that, and when there is no answer she shyly asks if she's ruined the moment.
Back at the Chateau de Catty, the women are eating dinner and talking about what turns them on. They like hard nipples and having their hair pulled, just in case you were wondering. I know I'll sleep better tonight knowing that.
Over on The Titanic, Travis is gearing up to say goodnight to Kristen. Hmm, no scenes of the two of them bonding – I think we can all see what's going to happen here. Travis says that he really likes Kristen and enjoyed her company, but he doesn't feel a spark with her and will not be giving her a rose tonight. Kristen is visibly upset but wishes him well and thanks him. Privately, she cries and says that she's determined to find someone who understands her, and will accept her the way she is. I don't think she'll have much trouble with that, and hey, at least she didn't mention that her eggs are rotting. Sorry the poetry didn't work for you Kristen – I guess it only works for firefighters who give out stuffed Shamu dolls.
Back at the manor, some chump arrives to take Kristen's baggage away as the rest of the women jump up to view this major development. The second date box arrives to notify Jennifer, Moana, Shiloh, Tara, Susan, and Canadian Sarah that they will be doing something with Travis that involves champagne. That's never a bad thing, unless of course you're trying to make an impression on a date with five other women. Hmm, maybe alcoholic beverages aren't such a great plan here.
Group Date the Second
Travis is stoked; he's about to go pick up six gorgeous women and take them away in a pair of helicopters. They're all suitably impressed when he arrives and lands on the lawn, and they rush out to greet him. Travis, Susan, and Canadian Sarah share one copter, while the four remaining girls crowd into the other. Travis seems happy about this.
They arrive in Champagne, where they head into the caves to taste some, you guessed it, champagne. Their first bottle of plonk is a very girly pink colour, which Travis doesn't seem to have a problem with. Good on him. Of course I'm guessing he wouldn't be seen within a mile of this stuff back at home. They all comment on how good it is, and someone says it reminds them of a warm summer day. Yeah right.
Shiloh gets the first private meeting with Dr. Travis, and they chit chat about nothing in particular. Canadian Sarah gets the second one-on-one spot, and she's determined to get him to kiss her. He says that he wants to kiss her badly, but he doesn't want to be 'that guy' who kisses a bunch of women on a group date. Just for the record, 'that guy' is actually Bob Guiney, and I don't blame Travis one bit for not wanting to emulate him. Sarah says that there's a definite electric connection between them, and that she'll be very surprised if she doesn't get the rose on this date.
Just as Travis seems to be winding things down, Tara says she wants to talk with him alone. They take off (on foot, not in the helicopters), and Travis tells her that if he had any doubts about her he would have asked her for some private time to get to know her better, then tells her she's awesome. And now we know why he was impressed with Canadian Sarah's "wicked" last week. 'Cause he tells people they're awesome, to their faces. And is it just me, or does Tara look like she constantly either stoned or just really really bored? She says that she doesn't like having to share him with the other women. Wow, this kind of thing is really starting early this season.
Back at the group table, Travis tells everyone that he wishes he could split the rose into six pieces and hand them all out, but since he can't, he gives the rose to Tara. Cue Canuck Sarah having a high school romance meltdown. She says that when she got the last rose she was flying high, and now her legs are shaky and she feels like she's been turned upside down. Oh to be 23 again.
The Rose Ceremony
The women arrive at the Chateau de Stork, all gussied up for the Rose Ceremony. Travis spends some time with each of them before making his decision. He'll be cutting another three of them loose tonight. Nashville Sarah tells him that she's always been friends with her boyfriends first, and Travis asks how long these friendships go on before they start to date. She immediately fears that she's given him the wrong impression yet again (last week she told him she was more nervous about meeting the other women than she as about meeting him), and worries that she'll be cut tonight.
Moana says that she's not like the other girls, and will probably stand at the back of the room. She won't be asking him to keep her because she's not like that. Travis still seems smitten with her though, despite the weird hairdo she's sporting. Speaking of weird hairdo's, exactly what was Yvonne thinking? Wow, for a girl who seems obsessed with fashion, she looks like she's been frequenting the makeup and hair artist from the Halloween series. Sorry; spend two hours watching catty women and something's bound to rub off.
Travis wants to talk with Susan next, since it's her birthday. He actually utters the line, "I took her to my bedroom because I had something special for her." By the time I stopped laughing, the two of them were sitting on the little loveseat in Travis' room and Susan was blowing ... out a candle on her birthday cake. Heehee. Susan starts telling him how attracted to him she is, and that every time he looks at her "the rest of the world just seems to melt away". Ah, I was wondering when the cheesy stuff would really get going, and whomp, there it is.
Back downstairs, Tara and Jehan are wondering if the man of their dreams is still with Susan. They decide to go and find out where they are. Ha – this should be good. They roam around the chateau until they find Travis and Susan, who are looking into each others' eyes like they're about to kiss. Travis greets them and says that since they both already have roses, they shouldn't be offended that he wants to spend some time with the other girls tonight. They say they understand, and tell Susan Happy Birthday. Next we see Tara and Jehan walking down the hallway, complaining about being sent away with a piece of cake. Tara admits that she's "a little jealous". Is this foreshadowing? Is Tara gonna freak out when she's eventually not offered a rose?
Susan and Travis finally return, and Susan complains that she didn't get to kiss him. Canadian Sarah is next in the private time shuffle, so she and Travis head outside to talk. Travis apologizes and says that he really wanted to kiss her, but didn't want to be the kind of guy that kisses all the girls right off the bat. Sarah keeps trying though, and asks for a 'baby kiss'. He says no again, but then says, "I'll give you this though ..." and leans in to whisper something in her ear. Inside, the women are all looking out the window and they think things are getting hot and heavy out there. One of them yells, "He's feeling her up!" Travis says in voiceover that Sarah really wanted a kiss, but admits that she was really cute in her persistence.
Now it's finally time for the Rose Ceremony, and once again we're spared the "Bachelor gazes at photos and ponders who will go" scene. ABC, this is great - if you trim down the finale from three hours to two this season, I'll love you long time.
Chris gathers the women together and reminds them that whoever doesn't get a rose tonight will be returning to the United States immediately. Travis comes out and makes another sappy speech about making his time there worthwhile or something, and the roses go to:
Moana
Nashville Sarah
Jennifer
Canadian Sarah
Shiloh (cue Chris, "Ladies. Travis. This is the final rose tonight. Travis, when you're ready ...")
Susan
Since Jehan and Tara already have roses, Elizabeth, Yvonne, and Cole are eliminated.
The women hug each other, and Cole is very upset. She is gracious though, and goes over to say goodbye to Travis. Outside, she's crying and wondering why he didn't choose her. Inside, the ladies and their Bachelor are toasting to their good fortune.
Next week, the women get bitchier and there seems to be a massive group date on a boat, where there will be dancing and swimming. And it looks like our dear Dr. Travis will finally break his "no kissing" rule.
Carrie Grosvenor is a freelance writer, reality TV addict, and owner of this fine establishment. You can contact her with comments, questions, or roses at carrie@realityshack.com.
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