Starting Over 3, 01-13-06 – Dr. Stan Says The "L" Wordby LauraBelle
I love it when reality shows have scenic views telling the story. On Starting Over today we see the sun rising, followed by a marker in the garden with the words, "Follow Your Dream." This makes me think there is a new beginning for someone. Being that I predicted after Friday's show that TJ would be graduating soon, I'm not figuring she will be getting that news today.
Christina is also following her dreams. Today she is taking her G.E.D. test. She meets up someone who I presume to be an instructor, in the library of a school. She is told she will be doing the writing part first, true and false, followed by essay. She'll do the math section last. Christina isn't sure why she put this off so long. Instead of just procrastination, she figures it goes deeper, possibly lack of self confidence in herself to pass it.
As for the rest of housemates, a hip hop instructor arrives at the house. Dr. Stan has sent her to lead the housemates in a workout together. He is hoping this will integrate the new women with the original housemates, forcing them to connect a little.
Kim makes lots of complaints that it's too early in the morning for her to move like that, then just up and leaves without a word to anyone. Lisa2 notices she's gone, and thinks you just can't walk out of an assignment like that.
After the workout, Dr. Stan arrives, and Lisa1 jumps up and down in excitement, finding out that he's here to talk to her about men and relationships. She tells Dr. Stan about the dating game on the tennis court where she met Chris. Lisa1 explains that she learned when she has no expectations of meeting a potential husband or finding someone to take care of her, it's easier to be herself.
The talk turns to Lisa1's relationship with Mr. Internet. This is the divorced 56-year-old father of two that Lisa1 has seen a couple times every month, although she hasn't seen him since the Christmas before she entered the Starting Over house. Acknowledging Mr. Internet only wants sex and dinner from her, Lisa1 struggles to figure out what it is she wants from him.
Lisa1 tells Dr. Stan she finds Mr. Internet interesting and thinks he would be a cool friend. Dr. Stan shoots back that he doesn't have sex with his friends, and asks Lisa1 if she does. Lisa1 just keeps trying to explain that he likes her, he just doesn't want to get married again. Dr. Stan then brings out the L word. No, not "Love", "Laid". He tells Lisa1 that while Mr. Internet wants to just get laid, she likes the power and money she gets out of it. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought I would hear him say that word. I had to do the instant reply on my TIVO just to make sure I heard him correctly.
Repeating again t hat Mr. Internet doesn't want to be married again, Lisa1 is told by Dr. Stan that by the end of their talk, she won't even want to date Mr. Internet anymore. Dr. Stan continues, and says anybody looking at Lisa1 as just a sex object isn't being honest. If she feels obligated to have sex with this man even though she only sees him as a friend, then she's not being assertive. He further says instead of being impressed with the qualities of a man that wants to sleep with her, she should be impressed with the qualities of a guy that wants to get to know her.
As homework, Dr. Stan wants Lisa1 to call Chris. He is hoping if she sees a good man can actually be interested in her, then she'll stop chasing after Mr. Internet. He would like Lisa1 to continue to build a friendship with Chris, and to keep thinking of what they have talked about today, knowing Chris will be more likely to like her for who she really is.
Some of the women are gathered in the kitchen when Kim breaks a wine glass. I'm hoping at this time of the morning she was only doing the dishes. TJ then starts talking about how hard it was to work on her control issues when her husband, Rick, was visiting. Kim explains she has similar problems with her husband and control.
Kim then enters into a conversation with Lisa1 about Mr. Internet, as she believes Lisa1 just keeps up with the relationship because she's waiting for him to tell her how much he likes her and how great he thinks she is. Lisa1 says he already does that; he just doesn't want to get married. She's awfully defensive about that. Kim says she'd be done with all that by now without getting anything out of it. It seems she is trying to say why should he pay for the cow when he can get the milk for free.
Dr. Stan leads Group today and tells a fairy tale about a little girl who grew up thinking a man would appear on a white horse. He would become her prince, and she a princess. Lisa1 knows the same thing we do. As soon as Dr. Stan uses the words Cinderella and rescue in the same sentence, it's obvious this lesson is directed at her.
The problem with the Cinderella complex, Dr. Stan explains, is that it creates expectations. TJ says she has seen men in her life as rescuers. She expected her wedding day to be like going to the ball. As it turns out, Rick happens to be the opposite of her fantasy. Still, though, she would like to be swept off her feet.
Lisa2 doesn't think she has the Cinderella complex, saying she pursued her husband, not the other way around. They dated for five years before they got married when she was 19. When Lisa2 says she tried to mold him, Dr. Stan feigns shock that it didn't walk out well for her.
Lisa1 says she always thought life was like magic, and that it would just happen for her, whether it would be a job, husband, or kids. Once she got to a certain age and didn't have all that, she got worried. Finding a wealthy man seemed like it could be the answer. Now she would like to write a new non-fiction story. In a voiceover, Jill is saying, "Liar!" She believes once Lisa1 is out of the Starting Over house, she will not pass go, not collect $200, and will find Mr. Internet right away.
Now home from her G.E.D. test, Christina admits many men have tried to come "rescue" her from her life of ill repute. It scared her sometimes wondering what they really wanted, although she figures it must have been sex. Jill says it reminds her of being little and playing with dolls. She could dress them up and have them do whatever she wanted. She thinks some guys have to have their "toys" too.
As for herself, Jill says she never bought into fairy tales, thinking that was a white girl thing. She didn't grow up with men in her life, so she never learned what it would be like to have unconditional love from a man. Dr. Stan says a father should treat his daughter like a princess, and if a girl never experiences that, she sometimes looks for that from her mate, instead of her father.
In his parting words, Dr. Stan says s a relationship should enhance you, not validate you. these words resound through Lisa all day long.
After Group, Lisa1 and Christina are in the kitchen and find broken glass still in the sink. Lisa1 is assuming it's Kim's. They are both appalled it was left there, and can't believe people would not clean up after themselves. It's funny what happens when Allison leaves, isn't it? Christina approaches Kim about it, saying as her accountability partner, she wants Kim to clean up after herself. Kim becomes very defensive, saying she's spent the whole day cleaning. Yet, you can't take dangerous glass out of the sink?
Lisa1 calls Chris as instructed, and is asked right away when she'll be out in the real world. It's clear he's not just after her because she's on TV. They decide to meet up somewhere. Lisa1 just can't seem to let Mr. Internet go, as she then calls him, leaving a message asking why her email was returned.
Rhonda makes a surprise visit to the house and tells TJ to put some close-toed shoes on because they're gong on a field trip. While she's out of the room changing shoes, Rhonda gives the other women an envelope, tells them it's a secret, and says not to read it until after they have left. Kim opens it to find they are all to meet Rhonda and TJ at Sunset Ranch. Lisa1 proudly says that's where she shoveled [beeped out].
At the ranch, Rhonda leads TJ to a scarecrow, and TJ realizes the old TJ would easily identify with it. They both scare people. Like a scarecrow, she used to be isolated and by herself. Rhonda asks her to dismantle the scarecrow just as she has done to her past, just to see what's inside. She finds nothing, and Rhonda says there is no boogeyman inside of her. There is nothing to hide. She has built relationships in the house, even though just two months ago she was upsetting all of them.
Rhonda tells TJ to turn around, and when she does, she sees all her housemates there to greet her. Rhonda says TJ is graduating, and when all her housemates cheer and cry, Rhonda says judging by that reaction, TJ accomplished what she came for.
While Christina is working on one of her paintings back at the house, she can hear TJ and Kim outside talking about her. Kim tells of the broken glass and how Christina got upset with her. Kim goes on and on about Christina telling her she's her accountability partner, but she's not sure what that means. Christina just fumes while listening to her.
Dr. Stan stops by again to see Christina's art. Christina tells him she doesn't think she's ready to showcase the art on Sunday at the Farmer's Market. She's very stressed out and recognized it's in part because of the change in housemates. When she explains the problem with Kim, Dr. Stan tells her not to worry about it, saying that's Kim's issue, not hers. He says if she believes she has been kind and caring to Kim, that she shouldn't backtrack, as that's not what a woman of honor would do.
Hearing Dr. Stan tell her that the ability to deal with difficult times gives people strength, Christina fires off, "Fine!" To close, he tells her it's honorable what she is doing. As to whether she is ready or not, he leaves it up to her to decide.
Lisa1 calls Rhonda, and says she may be cured of her Mr. Internet interaction forever. Since when? She just tried to call him! Once again, Jill speaks the truth. She repeats the phrase Dr. Stan closed Group with, and says it meant a lot to her.
All the ladies go out to an Italian restaurant to celebrating TJ's upcoming graduation. Kim starts talking about her marriage and says she needs to tell Dr. Stan what she is learning tomorrow. She proceeds to talk TJ's ear off. What a switch that is! Christina is beside herself sitting next to Kim, and can hardly contain her laughter t hat Kim is completely dominating the conversation.
TJ and Jill go out for a smoke, and TJ says Kim brings out the compassion in her. She is surprised at how Christina is treating her, realizing it's how she was a few months ago, talking nonstop. Jill stops her and says she was NEVER that bad, and thinks Kim will break soon, and when she does, it will be straight out of The Exorcist.
I know TJ is ready to graduate. She does seem to deal with things so much better. I think Christina is close as well, if she can get those pictures taken care of and pass her G.E.D. Well, she probably needs a job prospect first. Lisa1 is further and further away the more she continues her relationship with Mr. Internet. Jill hasn't had an assignment in quite awhile, and I'm not sure why. It's hard to tell who the next graduate will be after TJ.
Which housemate will graduate after TJ? You can email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com
Interested in American Idol? See my blog at Belle's Blog. And play the Idol Go Home game while you're there to win a trip to the Finale!
For a preview of this year's American Idol, see American Idol Season Five Preview here at the Shack!
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