The Doctor is In – The Bachelor: Paris, Premiere by Carrie
The Bachelor is back, after a brief hiatus, and this time they're taking the bachelor and his harem to Paris, France, in hopes of injecting some much-needed personality into the show. We begin our journey with a montage of 'memorable moments' from previous seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Out of all of the couples who emerged from these shows, only two have stayed together (but when you consider the average there, it's not really a bad statistic). Trista and Ryan (of the horrendous pink wedding extravaganza) are still together and hoping for a baby. Mary and Byron are engaged and planning to be married soon.
But enough about them – the real reason we're here is to meet the newest Bachelor and get a good look at his pool of bachelorettes.
The hunk of this season is Travis Stork, an emergency room doctor. He's 33 years old and hails from Nashville, Tennessee. Dr. Stork – does it get any funnier? Can you imagine being in the labour and delivery ward waiting for the pain to finally end, and all of a sudden you hear, "Paging Dr. Stork!" over the PA system? At least you wouldn't be lying when you told your kids that the Stork brought them. But I digress.
Travis is a very attractive guy, there's no doubt about that. He's tall, with a boyish smile and purposely mussed up hair, with just a hint of David Bowie around his mouth and cheeks. Nice. We get to see him in action in the ER, where a woman who suffered a heart attack credits him for saving her life. Aw.
For those of us wondering why a hunky doctor needs to go on national television to find a girlfriend, Travis explains that he's devoted the last eight years of his life to studying medicine, and he just hasn't had time to date. Okay, this makes sense, but suddenly he can just take off for a month (or however long filming lasts) to Paris to find a woman? Hmm. Travis arrives in Paris and takes in some of the sights, stopping at a cafe that I've actually been to so that he can order a baguette and sound like he knows some French.
Flash forward to the night of the big meeting – Travis will be staying at a French castle (or chateau, as everyone prefers to call it. When in France ...), and he's all dolled up to meet the 25 women who will make his life hell, er, I mean, will include his soul mate. Travis cleans up nicely, looking fine in his black suit and shiny royal blue tie. He's ready to meet his women. Host Chris Harrison finally appears in person (as opposed to voiceover) and greets Travis. They have the usual banter; "Are you ready to meet the women? Okay, let's get started!", and Chris disappears to wait for his next cue.
Meanwhile, the women are headed to the chateau in limos, five ladies per car. They're drinking champagne (bad idea) and marveling at the sights. One even crawls through the limo window to holler something inaudible. And now I'm thinking that they've finally snagged a decent Bachelor, but somehow missed the boat in finding some quality women. Meow.
The first bachelorette-mobile arrives, and Susan, who is a vision in hot pink, is the first one out to meet Travis. My husband, who claims to hate this show, yells out "Okay, show's over. She wins." That's right – tight dress, big boobs, long hair, and a big shiny smile. Travis seems equally taken with Susan as they exchange hugs and pleasantries before Susan heads inside.
Now, there are 25 women meeting Travis, and if you've seen the show before you know how this goes. They each come out, one by one, to try and make an impression on the poor guy, give lots of hugs, giggle a lot, and then try not to look nervous or shaky in their stilettos as they climb the inevitable staircase to enter the building. I won't recap each and every meeting, because frankly it would bore you to tears and more than half of these ladies will be cut before the night is over.
You can check out the photos and brief bios of all the girls at ABC.com. Of note, Cortney (yes, it's spelled that way) greets him with "Hello Prince Charming!), April loses her shoe on her way from the car to the man, Cole (who is also in flaming pink) makes a big impression on the good doctor with her revealing outfit, Sarah S. is also from Nashville, and Allie decides to talk to Travis all in French, which he doesn't understand.
Here are this season's bachelorettes, but again, don't get too attached to anyone 'cause only 12 of them will still be around to see episode 2.
Susan – 25, Financial Associate, KS
Cortney – 28, Law Clerk, CA
Kyle – 25, Copywriter, CA
April – 29, Corporate Real Estate, TX
Jehan – 29, Vitamin Sales Rep, IL
Kristen – 25, Marketing Director, FL
Jennifer – 25, Model, MA
Tara – 23, Retail Sales, CA
Venus – 33, Physician, CA
Moana – 26, Distribution Manager, CA
Cole – 26, Sales Executive, CA
Sara H. – 24, Marketing Manager, MN
Lisa – 24, IT Recruiter, KS
Princess – 26, Substitute Teacher, CA
Liza – 23, Trade Clerk, IL
Sarah S. – 26, Kindergarten Teacher, TN
Kathy – 25, Graduate Student, CA
Jaime – 29, Physician Recruiter, VA
Elizabeth – 24, Social Worker, NH
Yvonne – 28, Marketing, FL
Shiloh – 29, Advertising Manager, AZ
Ali D. – 26, NBA Dancer, WA
Stephanie – 25, Public Relations, CA
Allie G. – 33, Oncologist, FL
Sarah B. – 23, Student, Manitoba, Canada
Travis now gets to go inside and try to get to know all of these ladies well enough to decide who to send home right off the bat. And for some reason, he seems excited about this. Chris tells him that there will be one rose available during this time that Travis can give out to the girl who he knows for sure he wants to see stick around. No! Don't do it Travis! That poor girl is going to be torn apart by all of the other women.
Inside the chateau, it looks like a rainbow ate too many Skittles (tm) and vomited. The dresses range from the afore-noted hot pink, to all shades of blue, electric yellow, shiny gold, and even copper. Only a few sensible little black dresses can be seen. Ouch. Travis, however blinded he may be, is all smiles, as are the women. Jennifer says privately that Travis is amazing, and that they'd make great babies together. Oh boy.
As the man of the hour sits on the couch, he's surrounded by women who want to know what he does for a living. He seems hesitant, and first says that he works in the ER before admitting to actually being a doctor. Suddenly 25 pairs of eyes light up with dollar signs, as our bachelor has become even hotter property. Allie is really excited now, since she's also a doctor and knows what they've both sacrificed to be where they are in their careers. She says that her "eggs are rotting" and she's ready to settle down and get married. Desperation alert!
Travis makes the rounds, meeting with the women in what seems like mostly groups of two. Interesting. Kristen, who is excited to be in Paris and in a "sha-tay" (which is apparently Kristen-speak for "chateau"), gives Travis a gift; a shot glass from her hometown, along with a note saying that she hopes they get a shot at getting to know each other. I can't decide if this is cute or annoying.
It's obviously chilly outside, so Moana scores Dr. Stork's jacket while they chat. Meanwhile, back inside, the single rose whose coming was foretold by Chris arrives on a glass platter, out in the middle of the room. The ladies who are seated inside stare at this rose in disbelief, and each one decides that it's suddenly game on. They're all determined to get the rose and stay in Paris. Kristen gives the rose a kiss for luck.
Upon Travis' return indoors, the women want to know what the rose is for. Well duh. Haven't any of you actually seen The Bachelor before? Travis explains that he can give this rose to someone before the Rose Ceremony to let them know that he wants them to stick around. Or something.
Allie takes this as a sign to step up her game a bit. She sits with Travis and begins by saying that since they're both doctors ... but before she gets too far into her spiel, Yvonne interrupts them and says she'll just sit there, on the other side of Travis, until they're done so she can get a chance to talk with him. Allie is obviously flustered, but she continues, saying that she's moved into the "reproductive stage" of her life. Oh. My. God. Talk about the kiss of death.
Allie leaves, and Yvonne assures Travis that she herself is in no way approaching the reproductive stage of her life, and Travis says in voiceover that Yvonne brought the fun back to the gathering after the bomb that Allie dropped in his lap. See ya later Allie, it was nice knowing you.
Sarah B., who I was rooting for at the start since she's the only Canadian on the show, tells Travis that she loves camping. When Travis says something positive about this, she replies, "wicked". Let's be fair, she's a 23-year-old student. But still ... wicked?
Travis hunts down Susan, who was the first one to meet him and obviously impressed him as much as she did my husband. The other women sense that Travis and Susan already have a bond, and they're not real happy about that. Go figure. Susan asks Travis all kinds of questions about himself, which he tries to play up, but he's clearly flattered.
After chatting with Susan, Travis takes the single rose from its dish and heads off. The sound you hear in the background is 25 hearts rattling around in 25 chests like dried beans in a set of maracas. And the rose goes to ... Sarah B.! Score one for Canada, eh? Sarah accepts the rose and seems happy with it, but she doesn't freak out like someone just gave her their life savings and the key to world peace. Good for her. She asks Travis how many women he has to cut tonight, and when he says thirteen, she exclaims, "Holy sh*t!" Heehee.
The rest of the women are getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute. They seem crushed that one rose has been handed out, and it didn't go to them. Oh, the tension! Oh, the drama! And just as the stress is reaching its crescendo, Chris arrives to tinkle his glass and tell Travis that it's time to leave the room and figure out who will be getting the remaining eleven roses.
We're spared the usual scenes from the private room where The Bachelor normally looks at photos and wonders out loud who should stay and who should go. Thanks ABC. Now if you could just cut out the part where Chris Harrison reminds the guy that he's giving out the final rose of the evening, I'd be really grateful.
It's time for the Rose Ceremony, and Chris reminds us (and the ladies) that thirteen of them will be heading back to the US tonight. As the women gather round in the semi-circle of simultaneous hope and impending doom, Travis says that he's the luckiest guy in the world for having met all of them, and that he realizes that he's sending 13 of them away without having had the chance to really get to know them. Heh, way to cut off their excuses before they happen Travis – nicely done.
And now, without further ado, the roses go to:
Cole
Moana
Jennifer
Elizabeth (Allie is starting to look a bit uncomfortable)
Shiloh
Yvonne (Allie looks like she may strangle someone)
Jehan
Susan
Tara
Sarah S. (cue Chris telling us it's the final rose of the evening, and Allie looking like she's positively melting)
Kristen
All of the women hug each other, except for Allie who is absolutely steaming. She begins to rant about how she can't believe that Travis chose some of those women over her. She's sacrificed and dedicated her life to her career, and Travis has passed that up just like every other man she's ever known. She heads outside and rants to the rest of the rose-less women, saying that she told Travis she was in the reproductive stage, and wonders what the heck he was thinking, since he's 33 and ready to get married, and the only reason to get married is to have kids. Even though the other women disagree with her, Allie insists that she's right.
Unable to contain her rage, Allie heads back inside calling out for Travis. Oh boy, this is getting good! She approaches him and wants to know why she didn't get a rose. "Am I not attractive enough? Am I too short? Are my boobs too small? What?" Poor Travis decides to go with the truth, and says that she scared him off with all the talk about reproduction. He's not at that stage himself, and felt that they didn't make a good match for that reason. Allie retorts that he must just be playing around then, since he's on a show to find a partner, and what other reason could there possibly be for that than to reproduce? When Travis tries to explain that he doesn't want to put the cart before the horse, Allie has had enough. She shakes his hand and wishes him luck, then storms off cursing and swearing while the censors try to keep up with the bleeping.
Back inside, Travis and his women clink their champagne glasses and toast themselves. Meanwhile, outside, Allie has found a member of the film crew who apparently couldn't make himself look busy fast enough, and is chewing his ear off complaining about how maybe she should just become a nun and never date again. Back in the US, men everywhere are encouraging Allie to do just that.
To wrap things up, we're shown clips of upcoming episodes of The Bachelor: Paris. The women, of course, will all fall deeply in love with Dr. Stork (still makes me giggle), and the claws will come out over Moana not being genuine or something. We also see Travis telling someone that if she leaves, she'll break his heart. Looks like things will heat up between Dr. Travis and the Women, and the ladies themselves will get into their usual fits of cattiness and jealousy. Let the games begin!
Carrie Grosvenor is a freelance writer, reality TV addict, and owner of this fine establishment. You can contact her with comments, questions, or roses at carrie@realityshack.com.
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