Starting Over 3, 12-12-05 – Special Guest In The Houseby LauraBelle
Iyanla is always pretty good at creating fun exercises that keep everyone guessing. Today she asks all the housemates to meet her on the tennis court. Once out there, they are met with Iyanla on a bicycle. She tells them she doesn't know how to ride it, and asks them all to show her. They all get a little frustrated having to explain every little detail. They knew there's a lesson buried in there, but can't find it.
Once everyone is back inside, Iyanla take the opportunity to pull everyone together for Group to focus on the topic of what everyone has mastered in their life and how they did so. The housemates offer up suggestions on how to master a skill such as practice, determination and perseverance, but the one Iyanla wants to focus on is practice. She is talking about this to show Allison that while she may be scared about her looming graduation, if she keeps practicing the skills she has learned, she'll eventually master them.
After Group there's a surprise guest at the door for Allison. It's Bethany from least season. She and Allison had originally grown close in the Starting Over house, and once they had both graduated they continued their friendship, being they are both Carolina girls. This seems like it's just the medicine Allison needed, as Bethany's not just a friendly face, she's also in the "been there, done that" position. Not to mention she looks absolutely 100% fantastic!
After a short reunion, Bethany sits and talks about Allison with the other housemates. She asks if Allison is still cleaning the kitchen every day by herself, which of course she is. Bethany recognizes the changes in Allison, especially that she's more confident, but notices that she still beats herself up too much.
Allison meanwhile is meeting with Iyanla about her life after graduation. Shown a section of ropes with loose ends on each side, she is asked what loose ends worry her about returning home. She mostly names her mother and brother and issues that deal with them and the family's alcoholism history. After attaching those issues to the loose ends on one side, Iyanla asks what loose ends Allison needs to practice, and hears faith, hope and love. Iyanla attached these to the loose ends on the other side.
Iyanla really believes Allison should get everything worked out with her mother before she graduates. She asks Allison to call and see if her mother will be willing to talk with Iyanla and Allison on the phone tomorrow. She is also sending Allison to talk with a counselor that deals with children of alcoholics.
Allison brings with her her loose ends, explains what the rope symbolizes and mentions the panic attack she experienced yesterday at the thought of leaving the Starting Over house. The counselor shows her how to draw an hourglass type figure and place on the top right the good things about her mother, and on the left the bad. She does the same with her brother on the bottom and notices everything deals with alcohol.
The counselor asks Allison how she deals with the alcoholism in her family, and she admits to having a problem with it herself. To my knowledge this is the first time she has admitted it to anyone. The counselor suggests learning new behaviors to deal with things such as taking a warm bath, getting a massage, etc. The counselor is worried that if Allison doesn't learn to deal with things appropriately, she'll revert back to old behaviors.
Allison admits that she feels the worst about the abandonment issues. The counselor suggests she marry bad and good issues together to present it to her mom. This instance would be explained to her mom by saying I love the special times you would spend with me, but because of the alcoholism in our family, I felt emotionally abandoned.
Christina picks this time to try and repair her relationship with her father as well, but I'm left a little confused. She is heard asking her mother if she thinks her father would let her work for him, but later tells Iyanla her father offered her a job. Iyanla seems just as confused and also asks how this will help her future career in real estate.
After getting an update from Christina about her meeting with the job counselor and the realization that she needs to get her G.E.D., Iyanla tells her she is sending her to intern for the day with a mother and daughter who own a real estate company, Marion and Cynthia.
After meeting Marion and Cindy, Christina spends most of her day with Cindy. They visit a home that is going through a home inspection and later Cindy explains that she had a rough start going through drugs, etc., when she was growing up. This gives Christina much hope for her own situation.
Christina and Cindy return to the real estate office to speak with Marion who thinks Christina is a bit naive about what this job really entails. Marion now tells Cindy and Christina that the home inspection failed and now they have to cancel the escrow and return the deposit. christina is then offered an intern job working at the office. Oddly, she looks very ... pissed off ... the entire time she is talking about the intern job.
Bethany has a great reunion with Rhonda, but they spend their time talking about Allison. Rhonda says they're worried about her not feeling she is ready to leave. Bethany is worried about the same things. Rhonda asks her to show Allison how well she's done since leaving the house.
Jessica then meets with Rhonda who helps prep her for her father and step-mother's visit the next day. When Rhonda asks what Jessica plans to say to them, Jessica somewhat jokingly asks why she has to go first. Rhonda then suggests that Jessica spend the rest of the day preparing her photo exhibit to show them.
The weather throws Jessica quite a curveball. She can't set her photo exhibit up outside so it will be ready in the morning. As she works on it inside, first Jill helps her and later TJ does as well. This is hard for TJ as she's not allowed to offer opinions unless asked first as per her strict instructions from Rhonda after the Board of Review.
Allison calls her mother, asking for that conference call with Iyanla. Bethany offers silent support sitting next to her. Allison tries to be as accommodating as possible, offering up different times, and her mother just keeps saying she doesn't care. Allison realizes her mother is probably even more scared than she is.
Bethany and Allison go out for some coffee together and Bethany encourages Allison to see that she can do it; she can graduate and go back home and deal with her mother and brother. Bethany knows what Allison puts up with as she was in the Starting Over house with Allison and has since visited her in her home. Bethany says of course it's hard to go home and deal with all that stuff, but she did it and knows Allison can too.
Christina meets back up with Iyanla and tells her how her day went working in real estate. She is then shown several padlocked boxes. On each is one of Christina's values – integrity, responsibility, etc. She is also given a set of keys with behaviors that will help her achieve those values. She goes through the line matching them up pretty easily, such as honesty and integrity, self awareness and responsibility, etc.
Asked why she didn't use any of the bad behaviors on them such as hustling and manipulating, Christina says because they're not used for good. Iyanla explains they could be, though, and says instead of looking at these parts of her as only bringing back things, look at it and see how hustling or manipulating could help her. Arriving at the last box marked "priorities", Christina sees it is unlocked. Iyanla asks what her biggest priority is and Christina knows it's getting her education. She opens the box and finds a key that says "education" on it. Iyanla hands her a G.E.D. book to study with and says she is taking the test on Friday and she expects her to pass it the first time.
Bethany joins everyone for dinner and it's noted that Bethany helps bring a lightness to the mood of everyone there. Jill sets up six chickpeas on her plate explaining they are each of her housemates. She puts the Allison chickpea on her fork and catapults it out of there, signifying that Allison is about to graduate. She then takes the Lisa chickpea, squishes it to be tall and thin and flings it at Lisa. This is the light, fun part of Jill we don't get to see enough of.
Bethany says goodbye to everyone and especially wishes Allison well. It sparked Allison to have her friend with her, someone who had been there, done that. She knows she is graduating soon, and knows it won't be easy, but she has to trust herself.
Didn't Bethany look fantastic? Email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com
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