Starting Over 3, 11/07-08/05 – Meet Mr. Ozzieby LauraBelle
The people behind Starting Over decide to start the housemates off this morning with quite a jolt, making the house appear to have been through an earthquake. Allison wakes up first, as usual, and can't believe the mess she sees. She thinks this is perhaps some type of lesson for her since Iyanla was on her case yesterday about cleaning, yet she decides not to wake anyone and attempts to clean it up on her own.
The lesson isn't just for Allison, though; it's for everyone. This was supposed to show them that at any moment their world could turn upside down, and the question is if they will be able to utilize the lessons they have learned or return to their old habits. TJ is the next awake, yet she certainly doesn't want to do it alone. She yells out help to everyone telling them to get up. Everyone pitches in to get it cleaned up.
Once everything is cleaned up, Allison gets on the phone with her mom who tells her she was speaking about Allison the other day with Aunt Gail, who says the trouble with Allison is she has no self-esteem. Allison's mom says it kills her to hear things like that. She then says she realized the other day that if she died the next day, no one would know.
As Allison tries to dispute these claims, her mom switches the subject yet again, telling Allison to be prepared to not have many friends when she comes home. Everyone is referring to her as Miss Hollywood and feeling she pushed the panic button too many times. When Allison tries to explain that she is there getting better, her mother say she has to get off the phone as she has a baked potato in the oven.
Rhonda starts Group and asks what everyone thought when they woke up and saw the house out of order. TJ says her first thought was, "I'm not doing this myself." Allison admits she was going to do it herself and Rhonda tells her it wasn't her assignment, but for all of them. Jill admits to wondering why they woke her up, knowing that Allison would have just done it anyway.
Allison admits that she is quite bothered today with the phone call from her mom. It doesn't matter if she fixes herself here; she still has to go back there. It's a trap with guilt that makes her feel so awful. Rhonda tells her to choose herself or the guilt. She asks if Allison would like a supportive hug, and when she says yes, Jessica who just learned to feel the joy of hugs yesterday, reach over and obliges. Eventually TJ joins in, then Christina and Lisa take off Allison's shoes and start rubbing her feet. Jill comes over and rubs her shoulders as Allison's lips quiver. Rhonda tells her this is what it's like to receive love. She needs to choose whether love or guilt is going to win.
TJ is the first person to take the "love seat" next to Rhonda this season. She has earned her first step – "Face the loneliness." The others are amazed at her transformation so far, and citing their conversation over 9/11, Jessica says TJ used to be the one she was most uncomfortable with, but has now become the one she is most uncomfortable with. I had forgotten all about that how upset Jessica was early on with TJ's comments. TJ and Jessica exchange "I love you"s.
In a one-on-one after Group, Rhonda tells TJ she wants her to invite her new friend from the health club, Buffy, to lunch. No other housemates are allowed to hang around, though. TJ is initially excited then begins to feel that old fear of rejection.
Lisa goes with Jill, again, to her weekly Jenny Craig appointment. Weight-wise, Jill has a better week, losing eight pounds for a total to date of nineteen pounds. She explains her health woes from this week to her Jenny Craig consultant and he tells her it won't affect her Jenny Craig eating at all. It is healthy for her to eat throughout any surgery.
TJ's self doubts come in to play as she wonders why Buffy would ever want to come just to see her. She bites the bullet and calls Buffy anyway and invites her to the house for lunch and a swim. Buffy says she isn't very bathing suit-friendly right now (who is?), but she would love to come just to visit anyway.
Allison meets with Iyanla and discusses her fears of leaving. She is scared to be around her family and friends as they are used to seeing her in her many masks. Iyanla tells her it comes down to one thing – her mother. She has to clean this relationship up; it's the one thing she has been avoiding. Allison believes her mother doesn't want to work on it with her. Iyanla says if Allison's mother being upset will keep Allison alive, "then dammit, she'll have to be upset!"
Iyanla blindfolds Allison and has her fumble around outside in her own darkness. She instinctively starts walking, and Iyanla asks why she is walking when she doesn't know where she is going. She should be being still until she knows where she is going. Life is always changing, and will keep doing so until Allison creates what she wants. Still blindfolded Allison begins to tap into what she wants – joy, success, a husband, happiness, a life of her own, a new car, a skinny body and her own life. Once the blindfold is off she finds herself in front of a pretend gravestone with her name on it. Iyanla tells her this could be her. She has to just say no, but say yes to her life.
Buffy arrives and TJ introduces her to her housemates before they sit down to a private lunch. TJ talks about originally being from Chicago and how much she loves it there. Buffy asks how long she has been gone, and TJ is shocked that it has been twenty years since she left, and admits one of the problems was she didn't stay in touch with her friends. Buffy talks about a guy trying to pick her up today and she and TJ get into a conversation about that having to do with a lack of communication.
Jill meets with Iyanla who wants to know how Jill could know the tumor was there and be in pain from it for three years, yet do nothing about it. Jill says she has just become accustomed to pain being a part of her life. Iyanla tells her to get that "self-sabotage" bag that she had stored under her bed before and thinks it's pretty telling that this is the one bag that Jill forgot about.
Iyanla empties out the bag, then drags around the clothing from it, the bag and chair outside and then marches around inside the house with all this stuff. She tells Jill this is what a tumor looks like and why she has no joy – because she is dragging around her stuff. It has nothing to do with her mom, just all the incomplete stuff.
Setting all the "stuff" down, Iyanla explains Jill needs to do what brings her joy and sat sabotaging herself. She asks again how she can live for three years in pain, saying Jill has so much to give – life, her gift, voice, laughter, beauty, and love. She shouldn't dishonor life by being in pain. She needs to let go and find joy. To illustrate this, Jill is to take eight articles of clothing off Miss Mabel and put seven from the self-sabotage bag back on. It's not about the exercise, though, it's about life. Iyanla ends telling Jill, "Your life is important to me, and right now, it may be more important to me then it is to you."
Over dinner Lisa says her business plan that she spent the day working on is going okay. Jill says this is the first time she is taking life seriously and is asking herself if life is worth it. Allison leads everyone giving a toast to Jill. After dinner, while Jill dresses her mannequin, Iyanla reads her "Yesterday, I Cried" poem to Jill. It talks about the most important cry, the good cry that changes your life.
The next morning there is yet another man knocking on the door, waking the women up, and he is the second to come a-knocking for Allison. After answering the door, TJ wakes Jill to tell her she has a m an at the door for her. Allison says great; she has zit cream on her face and her hair is sticking up. Walking around her in her nighty, TJ advised, "No, not that outfit."
Greeting the stranger at the door, Allison finds his name is James, and giving her a flower, he says he is hear to spoil her all day. Allison still feels ugly and fat and wonders why he would be here to see her. She asks for five minutes to spruce herself up a little and he agrees to that asking her if he can make her some tea while he waits.
Christina is calling her mom, asking for some more conservative clothing to wear in the house, and call waiting clicks through, and it's Allison's mom. Christina thinks Allison probably doesn't want to deal with her today, and tries to put her off, but she is insistent on speaking to Allison. She gets Lisa who tells Allison's mom she is getting ready for a date and asks if she can take a message. Her mom appears a little put off and hangs up abruptly.
Over breakfast, James tells Allison he wants to show her there are good guys out there. He thinks there are a lot of jerks, though, that give a bad reputation to the good guys. Allison believes she is guilty of probably thinking that all guys are jerks. James wants to show her what having fun, trust and unconditional love looks like. He leaves, but not without a promise to be back later.
Dr. Stan arrives to see Christina, bringing with him 4 big silhouettes of dancers on big boards. He wants her to put on them her alter egos that she hustled under. On the first one she writes Kasey, the chip hustler, the second is Carly the stripper, and third is Genesis, the escort. The fourth remains empty. He asks her to write on these likenesses the bad and good traits of these three self-created characters.
As Allison is getting ready to face the day in the bathroom, TJ follows her in there telling her she feels she has failed as Allison's accountability partner. She wants to be willing to tell everyone when Allison is feeling out of control with her cleaning and drinking. Allison say she doesn't want to talk about it now. TJ, realizing it was a mistake to talk about this now, says she needs to know she didn't ruin her special day, and Allison doesn't answer.
Rhonda meets with Jessica and tells her she wants to show her how to be comfortable with the media. Jessica has been uncomfortable with them ever since she feels they took advantage of her family after her mother perished on 9/11. Rhonda will be bringing in a media consultant who will work with Jessica to get he to feel comfortable, and then tonight she will have a mock press conference. What Rhonda doesn't tell Jessica is that she is going to ask her housemates to act as reporters and be very aggressive with her.
Mark Bernheimer, who has also worked as a consultant at CNN, walks in and greets Jessica. He tells her foremost she needs to be prepared, and takes Jessica through a run-through of an interview. As the questions grow more about politics and the government, Mark notices Jessica gets more whispery. She says she doesn't feel it's right to use her mom' death to express her political views.
In Group with Iyanla, Allison tells her "BooBoo" is here. This is Iyanla and Allison's name from last season for that perfect man. Iyanla notices she doesn't look as happy as she should. Allison explains she is conflicted. BooBoo is here, yet her housemates are worried about her self-abuse, and she is also trying to figure out what to do with her mom. She says she is upset about being brought down with this today.
Iyanla tells her BooBoo will be able to deal with her stuff. When Allison says she doesn't know that yet, though, Iyanla says she needs a man that can stand in the same stuff she is. Allison says she is tired, and Iyanla corrects her again, saying it's fear that she'll do it right and that someone might get pissed off. She advised her to surrender.
After mentioning they have been working with their accountability partners for a week now, Iyanla tells them has another lesson for them on being accountable and committing to anew way. She brings in "Mr. Ozzie" and cute little curly-haired black dog. All the women are very excited to see him. Iyanla says she doesn't know how long he will be here, but while he is, the women need to take care of him. She gives them his bag of tricks – a note on the care he needs, his food, etc.
Jill thinks Mr. Ozzie must be saying if she eats three times a day, so should he. She then goes to feed him, saying she knows the way to a man's heart. James comes to meet with Allison again, but is delayed for a few minutes meeting Mr. Ozzie first.
Allison admits to James it's been a tough day, and he says his heart goes out to her. He also says it would be a sign of trust if she invited him in to see know all of her. He tells her the mirror needs to be wiped off so t hat she can see how beautiful she is. Does this man really exist? He then gets up and massages her shoulders. They make plans for dinner together later.
The women notice Mr. Ozzie lost, and can't believe they have only had him an hour and he is already lost. Christina walks around outside looking for him. Everyone else inside looks for him. Eventually Allison finds him outside and Jessica believes the problem is that he was taken off his leash when they were told not to do that. Jill admits she was the one who did that before. It's hard to believe he walked out the door, as this dog is always following somebody around the house.
TJ and Jessica go shopping with Mr. Ozzie, as they need to get some Advantix flea treatment for him, per the instructions that came with him. TJ just can't help but buy him an outfit, as they are shopping at "Pets of Bel Air." She wants to get him "a bad ass hoody and jeans jacket." They walk back into the house with Mr. Ozzie wearing his new outfit, and he parade himself around to Lisa and Allison to show off.
Iyanla meets with Allison and tells her she needs to learn how to be intimate with a man. Intimate, not sexual. She needs to be honest and tell James that she had cancer, has reconstructed breasts, no nipples and can't have kids. I will add twelve-year-old men are not ready for this conversation, as my son, in the room while I was watching, was completely grossed out. Admittedly, many men act twelve, so I can understand Allison's hesitancy. Iyanla fears that if Allison can't be real with James, she won't be able to be real with the real BooBoo when he comes along.
Dr. Stan meets up against with Christina who has been working hard on the personality traits of her hustling characters. The negative traits for Kasey, Carly and Genesis are things like steal, lies, sneaky, two-faced, manipulative, cunning, insensitive, backstabber. The good qualities are things like problem-solving, bold, courageous, confident, motivated, entrepreneur, fearless.
Dr. Stan is worried Christina doesn't take responsibility for having these bad things traits she attached another name to the girl doing them. He asks what led to her becoming unethical, and she says she would rationalize it saying things like they deserved it. Noting that in her time in the Starting Over house, he has only seen her be sweet, innocent and naive, Dr. Stan has to wonder if he is being conned.
Christina explains she's not those people. Dr. Stan points at the likenesses and asks if that wasn't her. She amends it to it's not the person she wants to be today. He asks why she gave it up. She was making tons of money, the women were jealous of her, and the men all wanted her. Christina says she didn't like who she was. She hated herself. He wants her to realize it was a more positive situation than she allows herself to think. She experienced things people her age never experience. He encourages her to speak about the positive parts, and create a new Christina from that.
Jill is the host of the pretend press conference. All the women sit down to ask Jessica tough questions, and she is quite shocked, but does amazingly well, obviously taking Mark's advice to be prepared. TJ is the most ruthless in her questions; it oddly comes very easy for her as she keeps coming back at Jessica for more. Oddly, Christina is the one quiet one, never asking a single question. All the questions revolve around the things Jessica refused to talk about before. Her mom's role in this, the effect on her family, and most-of-all her political views. In the end, even she was amazed at how comfortable, confident, and in control she was when expressing her views and thoughts.
Allison and James meet for dinner. With much prodding from him, she finally tells him the truth of who she is and what she goes through. He is completely understand and appreciates that he told her the truth. Yet, the painted on smile is still there.
Later that night some of the women are sitting together outside drinking coffee. Christina talks about her lesson with Dr. Stan that day with all the different personality traits and the different names she used. She tells them she was on advertisements on the internet for escort services and wishes she could show them how she looked before. She is goaded into showing them, as they gather around her at the computer and look at a Christina none of them know.
That can't be good. To have pictures of yourself advertising an escort service can't be good. She's not even twenty-one years old yet. I just don't think she realizes it's going to take so much more than coming to the Starting Over house and saying I want to change. It's not about becoming yet another persona. It's tapping into the person that she really is, and not letting the addiction of power and money pull her into being those other people anymore.
Do you think Christina will be able to stay out of hustling for good? Email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com
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