Big Brother 6 Live Feeds, September 5th – Yadda Yadda Yaddaby Carrie
Warning: This article contains spoilers.
The way I see it, there are two ways that CBS can save the season – at least for the live feed watchers. They can either take a cue from Paradise Hotel and change the rules whenever they want to, giving Howie and Janelle some remote chance at pulling through, or they can start giving the hamsters alcohol again. Preferably for breakfast.
Ivette is up first again this morning, making me miss Rachel even more. Heck, even watching James was more fun than this. Janelle gets up, complains about how cold it is, then goes back to bed. BB plays some morning music and warns everyone that the lights must remain on. Janie and Howie stay in their beds in the gold room and chat for a while.
The nerd herd is up and outside, and of course they're complaining about Janie. She had the nerve to win the PoV, and now she's going to take herself off the block. Oh, and she leaves her stuff everywhere. Can't forget that. Just a couple more weeks and we can forget the nerd herd ever existed. Hallelujah.
More talk about how Janelle hasn't made any friends in this game (because Michael, Kaysar, James, Sarah, Rachel and Howie apparently don't count). Oh look, feed 3 is showing an empty room. I think I'll watch that. April says that from now on, if anyone wins the veto, they can't use it. Maggie looks at her and says that it's everyone for themselves now, and if she wins the veto she would save herself. Of course April agrees, because she has no idea what she was talking about in the first place.
April makes breakfast for everyone in the kitchen, and the nerds take theirs outside. They yap some more about Janie and how they have to win the next HoH. Ivette the Brilliant points out winning HoH is the best way to stay in the game. Howie and Janelle stay in the kitchen and talk about Howie's ex-girlfriends. Apparently he was very much in love once, but he couldn't give the object of his affection everything she needed in a relationship, so she moved on. Aw.
The herd wonders what it will be like to get back to their real lives. April says that she can't wait to "get back to America". Is the CBS lot in another country? She's looking forward to going out to dinner with FatMatt and being recognized. I hope she wears stain-resistant clothing. Then they talk about the big explosion yesterday and how much it shook them up.
Maggie and April go upstairs to tidy up the HoH room. They talk about how Ivette must be giving info to Howie since she talks to him so much. Maggie likens it to April talking to Janelle, but April insists she never "says shit" to her.
Finally Janelle gets called to the DR and it looks like we'll get fish for the veto ceremony. The fish are much more interesting than the Crapettes. Howie is using the loo, and when BB calls for an outside lockdown he holds up production to take a shower to clean his rear end. He's run out of Fresh Wipes, and now apparently has to shower after having a bowel movement. At least the boy is clean. As Maggie and April get ready, Maggie comments on how they (the Jedi) seem to want to take out the one person who hasn't lied or backstabbed. She's talking about herself. When she gets back to the ER, I'm thinking she needs to be tested for selective amnesia.
Howie finally finishes and everyone but Janelle goes outside, so we do indeed get the fish tank. When the feeds come back, it's plain that Janie vetoed herself off the block and Ivette replaced her with April. April is upset that Ivette didn't say in her speech that the only reason she's up is because she hasn't been on the block yet. She thinks her parents will have a heart attack seeing her nominated. I guess she wasn't worried about what her parents would think about hearing her call everyone who watches the show "pieces of shit" though. April also claims to have invented the "PoV" abbreviation for Power of Veto. Wow; just wow.
Janie and Howie have a really fun light saber battle throughout the house. Howie is telling her that the force is strong with her, and that she has learned much. She says she had a good teacher. They're goofing off and having a grand old time. Strange that Howie's the one who's leaving, yet he's the one having the most fun in the house.
Their Jedi training over, Janelle and Howie decide to go to the gold room for a nap. No! Don't leave us alone with the Sith! They talk about how Howie will hook up with Holly at the wrap party, and their favourite fun moments in the house. Howie is looking forward to reading about the hurricames that have hit the US while they were in the house, but adds "as long as no one got hurt". How we wish that were the case, Howie. The room gets quiet and they both drift off.
The nerds work out and talk about warts, cosmetic surgery, and the stores they want to visit when they get out. Then more talk about how awful Janelle is, and more about how good they are and how they need to win HoH. Yawn. Ivette is excited to get out of the house and go visit Crappy. She's saying that her Tushie will be there at the wrap party, and then the two of them will take off and visit Crappy in Vegas and James in Atlanta. So let me get this straight. Ivette thinks that Janelle has nothing to go home to after the game, but she herself will go directly to Vegas to see her beloved Crappy? Puh-lease.
April wonders if she's like Karen from BB5. No April, you're not. Karen talked about her husband a lot and was a bit out there, but she was generally liked by the public. And she would never call us pieces of shit. Not to mention the fact that she had more than two active brain cells to rub together.
Howie and Janelle finally wake up and rescue me from the hell of the nerd herd. Maggie makes something to eat and goes outside with April, leaving Ivette alone with Howie and Janelle in the kitchen. Howie tries to bring up the final three plan with Ivette, himself and Janie, but Ivette starts talking about how people have to not only be good at the game, but easy to live with as well. She's likely talking about Janie, but won't come out and say it.
Howie makes another attempt, saying that Ivette's only chance to win the money is to end up against him or Janie in the final two. Ivette is either playing stupid or really doesn't get it, as she changes the subject to previous competitions. Howie goes along with this for a bit, and then April comes out of the diary room. Operation Save Howie must be halted for now.
Ivette goes upstairs and tells Maggie about her conversation with Howie. Maggie, being the wise leader that she is, says that Howie is trying to break them up, but he doesn't understand how strong their bond is. Just like they tried to get Howie to put Janelle up last week, I guess. Maggie wants to be sure that Ivette doesn't tell them too much, and Ivette insists that she hasn't.
Maggie hears something and presses her ear up to the mirror in the HoH bathroom. BB doesn't like this and yells "Maggie, stop that!" Maggie jumps back from the wall, scared out of her mind. Ivette demands to know what Maggie was doing, and she says that she heard people doing something back there.
Ivette, Janie, and Howie are downstairs talking about Miami and how Ivette will introduce Janie to some friends of hers. They bring up Howie's days as a stripper and ask him to do a show for them. Yay – this could actually be fun! Howie struts his stuff a bit, and both girls think he's a bit stiff (no pun intended) and awkward. They jump up to show him some moves. Janie does a faux strip tease of her own, and everyone is enjoying themselves and laughing. Janelle and Ivette sandwich Howie between them and keep dancing.
Leave it to April to kill the party. She comes down and starts talking about Janie and Michael, and thinks that Mike must have done a lot more to Janie than just kiss her. Janelle denies this, and Howie backs her up. April is just such a gem, isn't she?
Janie and Howie have another light saber battle as Ivette and April talk outside about who they would take to the end. April insists that she hasn't thought about it – she's just going to see how things play out. Riiight. Maggie comes out of the DR and tells everyone that BB has a surprise for them They're getting McDonald's for dinner. Mmmm, what a treat. Everyone places their orders (Howie gets two Big Macs with nothing on them, and Maggie orders the same but with no meat or cheese. Ew.)
The food arrives and everyone digs in. They talk about mundane stuff while eating, and as they did with the catered meal, they all eat too much and feel stuffed afterwards.
April and Maggie head outside and talk about possible scenarios for final three. April is upset that everyone thinks she's close to Janelle – she insists that she doesn't talk to her that often. Maggie brushes this off and points out that she chose April over Ivette last week when she didn't use her PoV. April corrects her and says that no, she chose her over Beau. Good point. Maggie doesn't even want to consider having Janelle in the final three – she says that it has to come down to good sportsmanship in the end. (insert eyeroll here)
Howie finally gets a chance to talk to Ivette again about the possibility of keeping him in the house this week. He tells her again that if she gets to the end with either him or Janelle, she stands a much better chance of winning than if she were up against Maggie or April. She seems to understand and agree with this, but doesn't want to get to the end by "stepping over" people. She says it's too late for that – she has to stick with the group.
Howie points out that they would understand if she turned her back on them, because she really needs the money. Ivette agrees with this too, but doesn't want to be the one to break up the Friendship. She wants to just play it all out and hope for the best now. She'd be happy with second place. Howie has good arguments, and Ivette has good counter-arguments. The important thing though is that Ivette is open to this discussion and isn't getting angry or self-righteous in the least.
Ivette goes outside and rehashes her conversation to Maggie. Maggie makes fun of Howie and says again that he's trying to split them up. She says, "That's awesome. That's so cute." Neither one of them want to tell April about the conversation, but when April comes out Ivette spills her guts. April says that if she gets voted out this week, the Friendship is over. No kidding – that's what we're all hoping for.
In the gold room, Howie and Janelle figure that Ivette won't take them up on their deal, and correctly assume that she is now spilling her guts to Maggie and April. Janelle promises to keep working on the herd, since they still have a couple more days to try.
The herd has moved to the HoH room, and Maggie says that she can't wait until Howie and Janelle come to her to try and get her on their side. They will never do that Maggie. It won't happen. April wants to be alone for a while, so she goes out to the hammock against Maggie's wishes. I guess Maggie needs to keep tabs on her herd so they don't keep talking to the enemy now. With April gone, Ivette starts complaining about how April doesn't need the money and doesn't talk about how much she makes now that it's getting near the end. Maggie is upset because apparently she told April that she and Ivette weren't talking about anything important outside, but then Ivette mentioned that they had been discussing her conversation with Howie. Hard to keep up with all the whining, I know.
Ivette and Maggie start talking about Janelle again, and that all she does is talk strategy and study the game. Give me a break – have they not seen how much fun she's been having in the house? They decide to go downstairs to find out what April is doing, but they can't find her.
Meanwhile, Janelle and Howie are chatting and snoozing in the gold room. Nothing major – just talk of when Kaysar and Rachel were still in the house and how much fun they all had (see Maggie?), and Howie pumping up Janie's ego so she can take on the remaining nerds when he's gone.
Ivette and Maggie return to the HoH room, and when Janelle is called to the DR they realize that April must be outside now. Maggie pretends to have laundry to do and heads downstairs, where April is outside with her feet in the hot tub, looking dejected. Maggie tells her that she feels torn now between April and Ivette, and that she doesn't tell either one of them what the other says. She doesn't know what they expect of her, or how to handle the position she's in. Ivette joins them and reassures April that she's not going to vote to evict her this week. April admits it would be a smart move if Ivette did just that though.
The herd turns to the only safe topic of conversation they can all agree on – what a bitch Janelle is. They rehash again that she must be working for BB. All she does is strategize. She has nothing to go home to. She has no friends, no heart. I have no stomach for this.
The erd herd is up until almost 3am, yapping about Janie and how you have to have no soul to do well in this game (but the three of you will all be sitting in the final four, what does that tell you?), yadda yadda yadda. It's rehash this, retread that.
Janelle gets up to have a shower, as does Howie. But they don't talk about anything meaningful and the nerds keep yammering until everyone falls asleep and I fall into a coma.
And to think it's going to be like this until Thursday when at least we'll have a new HoH. Sigh.
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