Big Brother 6 Live Feeds, July 25th – It's Not Good Televisionby Carrie
Warning: This article contains spoilers and a LOT of moral indignation.
When we last left our hamsters, Crappy's Clan was preaching the joys of moral living to anyone who would listen (and even those who wouldn't), while Kaysar and his Krew tried and tried again to explain to April the difference between friendship and strategy. What does Big Brother have in store for us today?
Rachel gets up and starts off the day with domestic duties followed by a date with the treadmill. I wonder if she's this organized and energetic first thing in the morning at home?
Eric is out of bed now, and he comes to Rachel and tells her that he knows she's stuck between a rock and a hard place, and he doesn't blame her for anything that happened. As he speaks to Rachel, Eric strokes her arm and pulls her over for a hug. Talk switches to Howie; Eric thinks he must have been hurt very badly when he was a child to act this way now. Rachel says that if this is the case, she doesn't know the story. She does confirm that Howie is 34.
Not one to make his point and move on, Eric starts saying that he's leaving the game with his head held high, and that the others may think he lied, but he didn't. (wow, now he's re-writing history – the sad things is that he actually believes this to be true). He says that the others are stupid to vote to keep Maggie in, because she's the real "head of the snake" – she's much more dangerous than he is.
Speaking of Maggie, she's up and Rachel scurries away to fold laundry. Quite frankly I'd rather wash the toilet with my hair than have another conversation with these two, so you go Rachel! Eric says that he doesn't trust Rachel any longer – she's playing both sides. Maggie says that the only ones who are safe are Ivette, Beau, April, and Jennifer. Maggie tries to tell Cappy to keep his emotions in check today. It's not the emotions that bother me so much as, well, I guess the words. It's the words that bug me. If he could keep those to himself for the next couple of days that'd be good, thanks.
Rats, I guess there's no way to keep Eric from talking. He says that if the producers want to sequester him when he leaves, then he'll do it because he gave his word. Yeah buddy, that and you signed a contract which basically lets CBS do what they want with you 'til September.
The rest of the hamsters slowly come to life, except for Howie and Kaysar who are sharing the HoH bed once again. Big Brother gets annoyed and yells "Howie and Kaysar, please get up!", and Sarah and a few others rush in and jump on them. Finally, some relief from the integrity bunch.
Maggie and Eric compare the show to "Indecent Proposal", and feel like they've been put in a situation where they have to act like dirtbags for a shot at $500,000. Come on people, have you not seen the show? Did you learn nothing watching the DVD's while being sequestered before going into the house? They claim that they knew that they wouldn't get far in the first week, because they weren't willing to play dirty like everyone else. They stayed in the house and continued to play though, because they made a commitment, and that's just the type of people they are.
Please, someone unplug my computer. Make it stop. For the love of peanut butter and jelly, make it stop!!
There's more, there's a lot more. They hate James, he backstabbed them trying to save himself. They hate Janelle, she is smarter than they thought but she's fake. They hate Howie, no, they don't hate Howie, yes they do hate Howie. They don't like Sarah, she's weak. They hate James again because he treats Sarah badly.
Eric thinks that the public (including his wife Julie) will have wrong impressions of what really went down in the house because he's not sure how CBS will spin all of this. The feeds are live, you moron. No spin necessary.
Changing feeds, we see Howie in the kitchen drooling over Rachel's butt and getting visibly turned on. He turns his attention to Sarah and her "belated birthday boobies". Now I quite enjoy Howie, but Eric and Maggie have sucked the life out of me and I'm just finding this somewhat annoying.
The cameraman takes us back to Crappy and Mags (sounds like a cartoon, doesn't it? "Crappy and Mags: The Adventures of the Righteous in an Evil House") (oh, and remind me to send a big fat "thanks a lot" card to the cameraman) who are going over what they will or won't do at the veto ceremony. Eric says he will remain emotionless. "Because you know James will take himself off the block." Geez, ya think?
Back to Eric, who is talking to April. Here's a great melding of the minds, don't you think? April is so happy that Eric exposed the pairs and busted everything open. Say what? She thinks that BB will set up the next HoH competition in their favour, since the veto was obviously set up for the others to win.
Maggie joins them (noooooo!) and says that she deals with rapists, murderers, and druggies in her line of work, and she treats them no differently than anyone else. That's how she lives her life, and that's how she will play this game. So she's lumping James and Kaysar in with rapists and murderers??
Rachel and Howie are having a refreshingly normal conversation. They talk about how Eric and his clan are acting like they wouldn't be doing the very same thing in their position, and Rachel relays Eric's comments about Maggie being the better player. After that, they talk about people they know on the outside, hurricanes in Florida, and other stuff that doesn't have anything to do with how fabulous they are. Rachel asks Howie what he'd like to do when all of this is over, and he says he wants to move to California and teach earthquake preparedness classes. Wow.
Meanwhile (and you knew we would get back to them, didn't you?) Maggie and Eric are proclaiming themselves to be the closest and strongest players in reality TV history. Yeah, you read that right. I almost choked on my Diet Pepsi when I heard it come out of their mouths.
Thankfully the fish tanks appear, and the veto ceremony has begun. Now I can go and pour liquid draino in my ears and hope there's no permanent damage to my active brain cells from listening to this crap all morning.
Feeds are back and as we suspected, James used the veto on himself and Kaysar nominated Eric in his place. So theoretically we have three more days of listening to this stuff. I may need to stock up on some meds.
Eric and Maggie quickly huddle together, and Eric complains that Sarah approached him and tried to be nice to him. Gasp! He says she should have had the sense to leave him alone, and now he has no respect for her. Maggie adds that CBS will not show how moral the two of them are, because that's not good television. I'll tell you what's not good television ... oh forget it, I can't even muster the outrage to tell them off. It's like they just suck the life right out of you.
Maggie goes on to say that they are going to go far in their lives because of their morals and they are blessed because of the standards they uphold. God wants the others to win so that they will learn that money means nothing, and then they will wish that they were more like herself and Eric.
Honestly, these two make the fitness twins look like happy-go-lucky charlatans.
Meanwhile, Ivette is saying that God will shine down on them and let them win HoH. What is this obsession with reality people and thinking that God gives a hoot about who wins and who loses? Wouldn't you hope that He'd have more pressing matters to tend to?
Eric is joined by the rest of his underlings, and he begins to cry. So much for being emotionless. He says that he's learned a lot being here, and he now knows what he was meant to do with his life. It's not even about being a firefighter. He's learned that what he was meant to do with his life is to raise his children. It was very wrong of him to leave them for so long.
He goes on to reinforce that he wants this group of people to form a protective circle around him when he leaves so that the 'evil' people can't hug him or say goodbye. Maggie encourages this, saying that he only has one minute and he should spend it with people who care about him.
April starts crying too, and says that it was wrong of her to leave Pepperoni for so long. Seriously.
April starts talking about the forms they filled out to apply for the show, and how they were asked what they would do with the money if they won it. She says that she put down things for other people, and for charities like the ASPCA. Eric admits that he said he wanted a new car, and that the reason he applied was for the money.
While Eric and Maggie hide out in the workout room, Maggie reveals that she doesn't regret all of the weed that she smoked and all the guys she slept with in her past. Weeeell, look at that. Miss Integrity has skeletons in her closet. Who would have guessed? Eric adds that he doesn't regret being an alcoholic either, and after 16 years of sobriety has finally found that he can drink socially. Really? So having a few beers and then threatening to attack someone is being able to handle your liquor?
Everyone heads outside because of a lockdown. Apparently the exterminators have arrived to take care of the ant problem in the kitchen. They should have left Eric and Maggie in the house.
Ivette makes a hummingbird feeder out of an empty Coffee Mate canister. Let's switch feeds, shall we?
April and Kaysar are having another strategy talk. Shoot me now. April is revising history by telling Kaysar what went down with Michael when he was in the house. She says that she had been talking to someone else and complaining about him, and Eric overheard and offered to 'take care of him' for her. April says she said no, that she didn't want Eric involved, but he went and talked to Mike anyway. Eric took it upon himself to stick up for the girls (this part is true), and Kaysar questions whether getting Eric involved at all was a good idea. April admits it could have been handled better.
April and Jennifer have some strategy talk of their own (remember Jennifer? She's the one that everyone confused with Ashlea the first week, but I'm not sure if we've seen her since then). April thinks that the two of them should throw HoH for the next three weeks, because Kaysar has promised to keep them safe until Maggie, Beau, and Ivette are gone. If one of those three wins HoH, then they will try and talk them out of putting Kaysar up.
Rachel and Howie start planning for the future of the game. They don't trust James because he's said he would let Sarah go in the game to save himself. Wait until he hears about the million dollar prize – I think he'll change his tune very quickly. They think Howie should go all out for HoH this week, because Rachel still doesn't completely trust the rest of their group.
Kaysar, Howie and Janelle all agree that April is emotionally dangerous. They think if she won HoH it would be unbearable, with her calling everyone to her room for hours at a time. They think she would people up for personal reasons, like "you looked at me wrong last week", and "I don't like your nail polish". Heehee.
Kaysar tells April that if she was here to make friends, then she should leave now because she's accomplished that. "From here on out you're going to tear down what you've built, and that's the honest truth."
Kaysar cooks some of his kosher meat on the barbeque, but it doesn't seem to be going well. Maggie walks by and says "why don't you ask Eric to cook that for you?" Kaysar looks at her for a minute and replies, "Eric won't even look at me". Maggie keeps walking.
The HoH room fills up with the good guys (the real ones, not the morally indignant) and they discuss how Maggie doesn't care if she leaves. James says maybe they should keep Cappy, because "he cooks, he cleans, and we can use him as a step-stool". Apparently Ivette approached James with the idea that they should vote Maggie out, then James can step into Eric's shows and lead the group to victory. Can you even fathom that?
Janelle gets called to the diary room, and on her way she mumbles that she hates PB&J. James retorts "I hate people who spin the wheel wrong and then eat meat in front of us." Everyone laughs. See, this group has a sense of humour and talks about things other than how great they are.
Kaysar and Janelle get some private time, and Kaysar tells her how perfect and beautiful she is, how she's the complete package. Janelle says she does have flaws, but Kaysar won't hear of it.
Once again things are calming down for the night. People are tidying up the backyard, covering the hot tub, and getting ready for bed. Howie complains about not being 'taken care of' for three weeks, and starts hitting on Beau. It's pretty funny, as Howie nibbles Beau's neck and face, and Beau looks a bit uncomfortable.
When Howie heads for the bathroom, Ivette and April tell Beau to offer to do the deed for Howie if he agrees to vote Maggie out instead of Eric. After much persuasion, Beau agrees, grabs some lotion, and heads off to find Howie. Howie is talking to Janelle, so Beau sneaks back to the bedroom. Ivette tells him that he still has a couple of days to work on Howie.
Really, the group that preaches how moral they are and how they won't play dirty is considering whoring Beau out to keep Crappy in the house. This is definitely the sleaziest move this season, if not ever – I hope they're very proud of themselves.
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Thanks for all of your e-mails! Drop me a line at carrie@realityshack.com and we'll dish.
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