Survivor: Philippines – Episode 2 – C Is For Cookie

Back for the second dip into the Philippines pool and all of a sudden I have an unexplained urge to have milk and cookies.

Actually, it may not be all that difficult to explain after all. A tad juvenile, and full of cheap boob humor. But not difficult to explain.

You have to appreciate an episode of family hour programming that is so focused on large breasts. At least I have to appreciate that. Because that’s what we had here. I’m going to forego being coy about the tribe that lost and go straight into it, because most of the action took place fully on Matsing sand. They lost the challenge and had to vote out a second member – and surprising to those who watched last week – it was not going to be Swan.

This was going to come down to the two younger women for two very different reasons, but at the heart of it, for essentially the same reason. Roxy was on the hot seat because of her mini-breakdown. Angie was on the hot seat because she has a hot seat. Well, a hot rack is more accurate, but not as poetic. Let’s review.

It seems that Malcolm is doing his best to prove the age old theory that even the smartest guys will turn into morons in the presence of breasts. Especially when they are mashed against you in snuggle form on cold nights. Angie and Malcolm have become snuggle partners – which can be potentially dangerous. Ask the All-Stars about how much a couple can dominate a season. Now, in all seriousness, EVERY season has cuddling for warmth. However, there is a snuggle/cuddle difference. Snuggle has extra meaning. And Malcolm/Angie has that. Check out the aggressive leg sweep from Angie, and the subtle finger caress from Malcolm. Seriously, dude, there are cameras on you at all times!

The amazing thing to me is that Angie was stunned to learn that this behavior put a target on her. Has she ever actually watched Survivor? Refreshing thing…Malcolm fully admitting that he is “blinded by the headlights,” as I steal Denise’s line. He knows he is screwing up, but he just can’t help himself.

Meanwhile, Roxy is having some issues with the game. As has happened often, the reality of Survivor is hitting her hard. The constant rain. The starvation. The heat. The cold at night. Lack of sleep. The one thing that seems to be a constant from the hundreds of people who have played Survivor over the years is that you can’t understand what it is like until you are out there. And then it just kicks your ass. Roxy is feeling that, and is breaking down. And, along with Blair in another camp, is helped along by the classy CBS Twitter hashtag – #survivorbreakdown.

Roxy is also speaking in Esperanto or some made up language she created while on acid in her dorm room. Her attempts to bring God into this season were not welcome – I still remember South Pacific, my friends. Not the musical, the Survivor season. It was worth it for Denise’s smackdown on all things religious in reality shows – and by extension, sports, music, and awards shows. “I don’t pray for anything, if I get to the end of the game, it’s me. You just dig in, dig deep and make it happen.” YEAH!!!! Thank you, Denise. You just scored a bunch of points in my book – now if only you don’t screw it up by voting badly…

What’s Hot on TV Tonight – Two and a Half Men Season Premiere

Two and a Half Men is back on tonight, and they've moved to a much less envious spot on the schedule. I have to admit, I think I'll miss watching it on Mondays … I do hope it finds the audience it's searching for in this timeslot. Catch up on your favorite shows you may have missed at TV-Links.

1. The Jeff Probst Show. Joy Cryer is today's guest. Syndicated, check local listings.

2. The Big Bang Theory. Season premiere. Raj gets lonely with his friends out with dates, and Wolowitz gets involved in a fight between Bernadette and his mom while in space. 7:00 PM CT CBS

3. Saturday Night Live. Weekend Update Thursday. 7:00 PM CT NBC

4. Last Resort. Series premiere. Capt. Marcus Chaplin and the crew of the most powerful nuclear submarine question order to fire at another country, then come under attack and are declared enemies of the U.S. 7:00 PM CT ABC

5. The X-Factor. Night six of auditions.. 7:00 PM CT Fox

6. NFL Football. Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens. 7:00 PM CT NFL

7. Two and a Half Men. Season premiere. Walden wants to surprise Zoey for her birthday. 7:30 PM CT CBS

8. Up All Night. Chris and Scott embark on their new business, Reagan tries to make adjustments to being a stay-at-home mom, and Ava runs into her former accompanist. 7:30 PM CT NBC

9. Person of Interest. Reese looks for help from Detectives Carter and Fusco in finding the kidnapped Finch. 8:00 PM CT CBS

10. The Office. Pam and Jim search for buried secrets in their relationships after a toast at Roy's wedding, and Dwight reacts to Nellie's mandatory charity initiative. 8:00 PM CT NBC

11. Grey's Anatomy. Season premiere. After a plane crash, the Seattle Grace doctors try to cop with loss, accept the changes, and move forward. 8:00 PM CT ABC

12. The Next. Six local winners perform in L.A. 8:00 PM CT CW

13. Glee. Blaine and Brittany are up against each for student council president, and Kurt gets a dream internship. 8:00 PM CT Fox

14. Parks and Recreation. Hoping to combat obesity in Pawnee, Leslie passes a city-wide tax on huge sodas, and Chris helps Andy get ready for his police entrance exam. 8:30 PM CT NBC

15. The Real Housewives of Miami. Adriana continues to avoid Fredric’s marriage talks, thinking she still may not be worthy of being re-married. Shortly after, the ladies gather at Lisa’s to get ready for Romains club’s party. Although Joanna gives her sister great advice to avoid causing drama, she actually ends up exploding at the club, in an unforgivable outburst on her fiancé’s night to shine.. 8:00 PM CT Bravo

16. Four Weddings. Italian bride Valentina's wedding features ballet dancers and soccer players, Michelle dances for her husband, Danielle has a fairytale wedding, and Jenn is hosting her wedding in an art gallery. 8:00 PM CT TLC

17. Project Runway The designers babysit while coming up with new looks for Heidi's Babies R Us collection. 7:00 PM CT Lifetime

18. Tamar and Vince. Tamar and Vince head to the Essence Music Festival where they are set to participate in a panel and address hundreds of fans. However behind the scenes, tension is at an all time high due to Vince’s health and Tamar’s music career. 8:00 PM CT WE

19. Elementary. Series premiere. Sherlock Holmes investigates a murderous home invasion. 9:00 PM CT CBS

20. Rock Center with Brian Williams. Season premiere. Stories include sexual assault within the military, a focus on charter development in education, David Finch inspires to be a better husband after a Asperger's syndrome diagnosis, and the impact of Fifty Shades of Grey in a small Maine town. 9:00 PM CT NBC

21. Scandal. Season premiere. Info regarding Quinn's true identity comes out, a senator faces public disgrace and looks to Olivia for help, and Cyrus and Mellie put President Fitz in a compromising position. 9:00 PM CT ABC

22. Louie. Season finale. Louie has a difficult time with the holidays. 9:00 PM CT FX

23. Impractical Jokers. The guys show the moments that made them cringe and crack under the pressure 9:00 PM CT truTV

24. After the First 48. A dismembered woman's body is found beneath an underpass in Arizona, and a woman ends up shot to death by her cousin's boyfriend during a weekend getaway. 9:00 PM CT A&E

25. Bling it On. A tomboy wants to design her own gown, a cancer survivor asks for blush pink, a gypsy stroller gets blinged out, and a drag queen has a wardrobe malfunction. 9:00 PM CT TLC

26. Late Show with David Letterman. The guests tonight include Jimmy Fallon, Neil Young, and Lupe Fiasco. 10:35 PM CT CBS