What’s Hot on TV Tonight – Roseanne Barr Roast

Roseanne always have biting comments for everyone else, and tonight she herself will be the subject of a Comedy Central roast. It ought to be a wild night of almost everything goes. Catch up on your other favorite shows at TV-Links.

1. XXX Summer Olympics. Men's Basketball final: Spain vs. USA. Men's volleyball final: Russia vs. Brazil. Men's Water Polo final: Croatia vs. Italy. Freestyle Wrestling final. Rhythmic Gymnastics: group final. 9:00 AM CT NBC

2. NASCAR Racing: Spring Cup. From Watkins Glen International in Watkins, Glen, NY. 12:00 PM CT ESPN

3. 2012 PGA Championship. Final round from the Kiawah Island Golf Resort in Kiawah Island, SC. 1:00 PM CT CBS

4. MLB Baseball. Oakland Athletics at Chicago White Sox. 1:00 PM CT TBS

5. 60 Minutes. Helping the long-term unemployed find work, scientists making real and artificial flavors, and the Congo's Kimbanguist Symphony Orchestra. 6:00 PM CT CBS

6. XXX Summer Olympics. Closing ceremony. 6:00 PM CT NBC

7. Big Brother. Frank nominates two players for eviction. 7:00 PM CT CBS

8. Secret Millionaire. Entrepreneur Sean Belnick heads to his Brooklyni to look for people worthy of his donations. 7:00 PM CT ABC

9. Leverage. The team goes after a restaurateur who pursues fame and money, destroying lives in the process . 7:00 PM CT TNT

10. Xtreme Waterparks. We're trotting the globe and riding the world's most extreme water rides. From the world’s tallest slide in Brazil, to the world's largest indoor waterpark in Germany – we're getting wet and counting down the world's best rides. 7:00 PM CT Travel Channel

11. MLB Baseball. Atlanta Braves at New York Mets. 7:00 PM CT ESPN

12. Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. A 45-year-old mom tries to lose the extra pounds she gained after serious injuries. 8:00 PM CT ABC

13. Falling Skies. The 2nd Mass meets new faces, Tom runs into his former mentor, Maggie starts to figure out the Pope might not stay with the group, and Tector recognizes his military past. 8:00 PM CT TNT

14. The Glades. Season finale. A surfing clothing line founder is murdered, and Jim realizes he has to make a decision regarding his and Callie's relationship when he becomes frustrated over her lack of communication. 8:00 PM CT A&E

15. Hoarding: Buried Alive. Gary has to sleep outside on a makeshift bed because his house is too full. 8:00 PM CT TLC

16. Insane Coaster Wars. From speed demons to g-forces, which coaster will soar above the competition? We pitted the top roller coasters in the country against each other and you picked the winner. The ballots are in, the numbers have been crunched and this special counts down the ten top coasters in the country. 8:00 PM CT Travel Channel

17. Ice Road Truckers. Things get scary quickly when one of the guys gets lost in a white-out with no plan and no help in sight. 8:00 PM CT HISTORY

18. Drop Dead Diva. Jane defends Deb's mom when she gets sued by a student, and Grayson and Kim defend a sculpture's decency. 8:00 PM CT Lifetime

19. Hell on Wheels. Cullen and Elam are at opposite ends of the law, and Durant and Lily push the railroad out west. 8:00 PM CT AMC

20. True Blood. The Authority tries to get the favor of the public, Nora tries to convert Eric, Jason gets a mysterious scroll, Pam and Tar have to obey a new sheriff, Sam and Luna look for Emma, and Russell tries to find a higher calling. 8:00 PM CT HBO

21. The Great Escape. Three teams have to escape an active power plant generator by figuring out a system of pipes, pistons, and puzzles. 9:00 PM CT TNT

22. Political Animals. Elaine is torn, Bud finds out the truth behind TJ's suicide attempt, and Susan gets unlimited access to the submarine rescue mission. 9:00 PM CT USA

23. The Comedy Central Roast. Roseanne Barr gets roasted 9:00 PM CT Comedy Central

24. Longmire. Season finale. A killer goes after four boys who were acquitted of raping a developmentally-disabled Cheyenne girl, and when a Denver detective arrives, Walt has to face the reality of his wife's death. 9:00 PM CT A&E

25. The Real Housewives of New Jersey. The cross-country Napa trip continues this week, and it seems as if (for once!) the families are enjoying each other’s company. During the trip, the husbands learn why surfing and excessive boozing aren’t a good combination, while Melissa looks on from the sidelines, (dolled up in a sequined two-piece.) Is the crew getting along just a signal of the calm before the storm? 9:00 PM CT Bravo

26. High School Moms. Behavior could be reason for expulsion for a 16-year-old, and another student might be forced to leave school because of daycare fees. 9:00 PM CT TLC

27. All You can Meat. In the first half hour of the season opener,Chuey Martinez is on a mission to savor some of America’s tastiest pulled pork – from a pork shoulder with a French twist in New Orleans, LA to Mexican pulled pork carnitas tacos in Denver, CO. In the second premiere, Martinez is on the hunt for the country’s tastiest brisket. He tries all kinds including slow-cooked city and country style in Texas, sweet and tangy brisket in Charlotte, NC and authentic Mexican brisket tacos in Los Angeles. 9:00 PM CT Travel Channel

28. Army Wives. The group deals with the fallout after the Centennial celebration, Roxy and Trevor get to take Drew home, Denise and Roland believe David's friend could be being abused, and Gloria confides in Jackie. 9:00 PM CT Lifetime

29. Bridezillas. While most brides are content to leave their mother-in-law at arm’s length, our Bridezilla Tracy admits that she’s desperate for her mother-in-law’s affection. When her mother-in-law declines an invitation to the nail salon, Tracy stomps to the bedroom for a meltdown no one can stop. When the stripper appears at Bridezilla Tasha's bachelorette party, she is less blushing bride and more horrified, as she screams in terror and leaves the room. 9:00 PM CT WE

30. Breaking Bad. Walt's team must get creative to obtain the materials they need to continue their operation. 9:00 PM CT AMC

31. Newsroom. A ratings drop has Will and Mac abandoning principles, Sloan is irritated by a lack of screen time, and Charlie finds out the identity of a whistleblower. 9:00 PM CT HBO

32. Weeds. Nancy and Silas start new jobs, Shane graduates from the police academy and is put on assignment, and Andy searches for work at the local Jewish temple. 9:00 PM CT Showtime

33. Episodes. Sean and Beverly talk to Matt about weight gain, and Beverly gets convinced to date Morning's brother. 9:30 PM CT Showtime

What’s Hot on TV Tonight – More Track and Field

The Summer Olympics are winding up and we're into our last few days of competition. Tonight there are more Track and Field events and more Diving, as well as the BMX finals Catch up on your favorite shows you may have missed at TV-Links.

1. XXX Summer Olympics. Rhythmic Gymnastics: qualifying. Synchronized Swimming: team final. Wrestling: freestyle finals. Swimming: Men's marathon. Canoeing: spring qualifying. Track and Field: Women's 5000m final. 9:00 AM CT NBC

2. XXX Summer Olympics. Track and Field finals: 4x400m relay, Men's pole vault, Women's 4x100m relay, Women's 1500m. Diving: Men's platform qualifying. Cycling: BMX finals. 7:00 PM CT NBC

3. Tyler Perry's House of Payne. In the first half hour, Curtis deals with resentment after being called back into work. In the second half hour, Calvin and C.J. plan Miranda and Janine's anniversary celebration. 7:00 PM CT TBS

4. Tyler Perry's For Better or Worse. In the first half hour, Leslie believes she could be pregnant, and begins having doubts because of Joseph's reaction In the second half hour, irreparable damage is caused when Tina refuses to cancel her party plans to stay home and watch her brother. 8:00 PM CT TBS

5. Say Yes to the Dress. Indian bride Rashi shops for an Americanized gown, Katie is having two ceremonies, and Shenelle is full of nerves before seeing her custom-color dress. 8:00 PM CT TLC

6. America's Most Wanted. 8:00 PM CT Lifetime

7. Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Miami Dolphins. Season premiere. The team gathers for training camp in Davie, FL, and the coaches take them through the first week of on-field drills. 8:00 PM CT HBO

8. Common Law. Wes and Travis tell their full story to try and get back into Dr. Ryan's good graces. 9:00 PM CT USA

9. Lost Girl. Bo and Fae tangle, and Kenzi does a favor for Hale. 9:00 PM CT USA

10. Randy to the Rescue. Amy Allan and Steve DiSchiavi investigate paranormal activity at a dentist’s home office in Huntington, WV. 9:00 PM CT TLC

11. Chasing UFOs. A look at Varginha, Brazil, the “Roswell of South America.” 9:00 PM CT National Geographic

14. Boxing. Bahodir Mamadjonov vs. Darley Perez. 9:00 PM CT ESPN 2

 

Big Brother, August 9 – “Screw You, Mike Boogie”

Tonight on Big Brother, the demure Alabama nurse Danielle is about to either get out one of the biggest players in the show's history or the one of the biggest players this season. It will either be Janelle or Frank. Why those people are leaving Boogie in the house is beyond me. The Secret 6 were targeting Janelle with the replacement nominee, but I'd sure like to see her turn it around. She's handled much more in her other two seasons, but I'm just not so sure if she still has it in her now that she's a wife and mom.

After Janelle's nomination, she admitted being extremely shocked, as Danielle wasn't even on her radar. She's still going to do whatever she has to do to stay. Britney mentions the obligatory hugging that always takes place after every ceremony, and this time everyone is standing around in shock and horror. Yet no one is truly shocked other than Janelle. Wil sings out in support of Danielle and is going to bake a cherry pie and have a celebration.

asks Britney why Danielle thinks she's coming after her, and Britney keeps up her feigned shock and says she doesn't know. Boogie tells the camera he'd like to take a bow. He says Danielle may think she's the HoH, but right now he just took over and got everyone to do what he wanted. Danielle says this current pairing on the block of Janelle and Frank is because it's kind of funny because they hate each other, and for another, she doesn't want it obvious she's working with Frank.

Janelle goes up to the HoH to talk to Danielle and asks her what is going on. Danielle lies through her teeth, saying everyone was telling her that Janelle was coming after her. Janelle has never said that to anyone, so she knows some lies have been told to her, as Danielle couldn't have come up with this on her own. She's shocked, because she wanted to work with her and Dan. Danielle claims she hasn't even talked to Dan. She thinks Janelle will probably stay over Frank anyway. Janelle just can't believe Danielle did this, because she was not coming after her at all. She tells her if it was Boogie and Frank that got to her, they have a motive to say things like that. Danielle explains it's not just them.

Dan goes in to talk to Danielle, saying she just graduated from the BB School of Dan, because she just made an enormous move in the game and didn't bat an eyelash when she did it. She felt like everyone could feel her heart beating out of her chest and she could feel Janelle glaring. Dan tells her she's about to get out one of the best players to never win this game out of the house.

Dan goes to find Janelle in the bathroom and asks if she wants to talk. She asks what the hell happened. He says he was surprised and tells her he thinks it was like a girl instinct thing that Danielle felt threatened, despite the fact he's onboard. Janelle wants his support, and he says if he does roll with her, Danielle is going to be pissed. Janelle figures she has the votes of Ashley, Britney, and Dan, but she needs two more. He tells her they're screwed if she goes home. Almost on cue, Boogie walks through the Storage Room to get some supplies.

Janelle was shocked to get put up on the block, but moving forward, she's just going to try and talk to everyone and try to sway their vote. She asks Joe and Wil if she has their vote, and Joe more-or-less poo-poos the thought there was even any question, while Wil counts up the two of them, plus Ashley, realizing they need two more. She figures Britney is a solid vote. She asks Jenn for her vote, and she says she's definitely thinking about it. This would mean going against Boogie for her, but really, what has he done for her? Who even knows she's playing (which could be bad or good)?

Janelle corners Britney and she says she for sure wants to keep her. Don't ever play poker with Britney, as she seems to have the best poker face around. She tells her she has four votes for sure. Britney says she feels nervous about something, just about the possibility. Janelle asks if Danielle has said something, and Britney says no. Janelle tells her someone got to Danielle and said she was coming after her or something. She asks Britney if she thinks she's staying, and she does. She tells her they have to stick together, otherwise they're just going to go through the house and they have no shot.

Britney is now feeling horrible about agreeing to vote Janelle out. She's not going after her; she's not going after the coaches. Why is she voting someone out who is an ally and asset in the game. She literally runs upstairs and talks to Shane, Danielle, and Dan and tells them she can't take it anymore. She can't lie to her face. If they're not going to vote for her, they have to just tell her, because she can't keep up the charade any longer. She feels like a bad person.

Britney wants a reminder again on why they're voting Janelle out. Shane tells her she talks [bleep] about everyone in the house, and Danielle adds in she avoids Britney and treats her like crap. Dan isn't sure how this one is going to play out. Britney tells the DR she's having to work so hard to backstab and cheat and lie and scheme and game, and she doesn't have it in her to be this mean person.

Going live, Julie Chen tells Frank he's looking good in his spiritard. He tells her she knows she's his home girl, and he's her home skillet. She asks for a cheer, and he gives one for the colors purple and white. Boogie is proud. He's asked about the game reset, and he's feeling better now, after some work this week. They came as coaches, but could leave with a bigger check.

Jenn talks about the coaches walking in with a ton of experience, some for their third time. She's just going to live on a prayer and hope for the best and just go out and do her thing. She thought the reset was great for her and her game, so she's going to roll with it.

The houseguests get a look at the new pet they had for a day, Ian. They get to see him doing tricks for his food, walking on a leash, and sleeping in the doghouse. Julie mentions he's been on slop for three weeks, and instead of taking a trip to Maui or a veto ticket, he chose to live the dog's life. He's still loving every minute though, and it wouldn't be the full experience without the penalty costume.

Ashley and Ian actually grew up thirty minutes apart. Their mothers weigh in on their time in the house. Ian's mom mentions they've been watching the show with him since he was 10. They knew he was intelligent, as he could read when he was 2, and at age 3 he could identify all the moons of the planets and all the flags of the world. She thinks his intelligence isn't a good thing on Big Brother, and the people are scared of him because of his memory. He's never had a serious girlfriend, and while Ashley is a cutie pie, he wants a goodlooking girlfriend with brains.

Ashley's mom chips in and says her daughter isn't as ditzy as she seems. She is a free spirit and reads books about meditating about things to make them come true. Her favorite part of the show was Ashley and Ian's slop date. They were toasting each other with stars in their eyes. Ashley likes goodlooking hunks, but they don't treat her the way Ian would treat her. She adores Ian and wishes she could tell Ashley to get into a secret alliance with him. It's the nerdy guy with the hot girl, the real-life Leonard and Penny from Big Bang Theory.

Big Brother, Aug. 5 & 8 – “Nasty Southern Belles in Hell”

If you don't have the Big Brother live feeds, and if you don't follow spoilers, you were of course dying to know who won the Head of Household competition last Thursday. Emotions were definitely running high from everyone after the non-unanimous decision to let the coaches back into the game. But that's not the only big news. The other side of that is how the new HoH will decide who to nominate, and what was decided after the power of veto competition.

Boogie remarks that after the twist that allowed him back into the game, it was almost like starting a brand new season. In his three seasons on the show, he's never been more unsure on what outcome he would like for the HoH competition. Ian calls this the biggest twist in Big Brother history. Numbers-wise, he went from a 1-in-7 shot to a 1-in-12 shot. His stomach feels sick, and it's not the listing of the fake boat he's standing on that's doing it.

The coaches start to discuss amongst themselves who pressed the button. Britney explains her choice of hitting the button. She only had one player left and a small chance of making it to the end, so she had to go for it. Dan remarks if he's tempted to reenter the game, he will be there any time, any place, anywhere. Janelle wanted to hit the button because “Duh, I wanted to win Big Brother!” Boogie knew he was running this game and about to win $100,000.

While they're walking outside to start the competition, Dan whispers to Boogie that the plan in the house was to boot out Frank, which is news to Boogie. What screwed him more was that Dan was in on it and didn't tell him. Dan figured it was eventually going to come out anyway, so he told Boogie to start to build a little trust. He thinks he'll get further playing with Boogie than against him.

Janelle lies about setting the reset button, because she wants the image that she just wanted to be a coach, when in fact she's going to use everything she has to win Big Brother this year.

Shane had HoH last week, and it put lots of blood on his hands, yet no one was evicted. He figures Janelle and Boogie are both mad at him for nominating their players. His only silver lining is that he gets to compete because of the reset. Jenn (who? yeah, that's right. She IS on the show.) knows this is starting over for her. She felt expendable because Frank and Boogie are so tight.

The worst part of the competition for Ashley is the cold water that was blasting them while they were on the planks. Boogie isn't enjoying it either and yells out, “I hate you, Dan!” He asks why he thinks he hit the reset button, and Boogie tells him he knows he hit it. Danielle's arms, back, and shoulders are starting to hurt her and it's just a matter of hanging on. She knows she can last, but wonders when the others will start to fall. Britney calls it brutal, horrible, and a living nightmare.

When it's not raining on them, they get fake sea gull poop splashed on them. Boogie remarks that fifteen minutes before, he was sitting with three players and on cruise control to $100,000, and the next thing you know he's hanging on for dear life having sea gulls defecate on him on the side of a pirate ship. He's not a happy camper. Everything is bothering him, and he wants to send the message that he's not as big of a threat as they think he is. He jumps, and that makes Shane very happy. Jenn's muscles are starting to give out, as she's Puerto Rican and not used to being so cold. She follows Boogie, and Joe follows her.

Joe admits to Boogie that he knew 100% that he was staying if the vote would have gone through. Meanwhile, Frank tells Shane that if he gets HoH, Shane is safe, as he plans to nominate two coaches. Ashley falls off while looking around, and Dan followws her. It's just under two hours. Dan admits not much has changed for for his strategy between coach and player. He's still going to try and build a weak persona in the game, much like he did the last time when he ended up winning. Frank isn't fooled, though, saying it's the same thing Dan did last time.

Frank is the last person Shane wants to win HoH since he blindsided him. As tall as Frank is, he's having to haul a lot of his body weight up in his arms and his biceps and forearms are giving way quick. Frank eventually falls at two hours and thirteen minutes. Boogie wants to let him know there may be some people there they thought they could trust that they can't. Frank can't believe it and feels Boogie is the only person he can trust 100%. Oh boy. That says a lot.

Shane is grunting and screaming while he's on the plank, and Wil sees this, thinking he can still go another fifteen minutes. Then he looks over and sees Danielle hanging on with her hands in her pockets, getting ready to whistle or pull out a cigarette and a martinini and sing a song about how happy life is. He asks her if he's safe, and she promises he is. He and Shane make a deal to jump together and both hold up their end.

It's Danielle, Janelle, Britney, and Ian still hanging on. Janelle doesn't know how much more her body can take, and Britney looks solid. She's back in an alliance with Britney, so thinks if she can pull it off, she's good. She jumps. Danielle is fighting for Shane, Dan, and Britney.

Boogie remarks that two weeks ago, he was teaching Ian how to Mack on chicks, set up a date with Ashley, and dressed him up in one of his bowties, but suddenly he's another player in the game, and he's a huge target right out of the gate. He's hoping he wins HoH to keep him safe. Britney knows it's life or death for her, and she has to secure a place for herself.

Shane does not want Ian to win and says Danielle is impressing him. He promises her another kiss if she wins. Britney feels like she is hanging in midair above the water. She didn't expect to make it this far, but now she can almost taste it. She's not going anywhere. Ian isn't feeling good and notices Britney struggling, but Danielle looks like a rock. If he can arrange a deal with them, he hopes they feel safe enough to jump off. He tells them they won't go up.

Coach Dan tells Danielle he picked her for a reason, because he knows she has it in her. She doesn't take a deal, she sets the deal. Whatever happens from this point forward, this is her shot. If she wants to win the game, it starts right now. His life is on the line with the country girl from Alabama, so he's coaching his tail off like he never has before. He tells her if she wants to give up seeing her family and the Alabama flag, she should jump. She knows now he's still there for her. Joe wants him to stop coaching already.

What’s Hot on TV Tonight – Beach Volleyball, USA vs. USA

While we sometimes watch USA vs. USA in Track and Field, Gymnastics, and Swimming, tonight we'll see the USA vs. USA final for Women's Beach Volleyball. I don't know who will win, but I think it might be USA. Check out your other favorite shows at TV-Links.

1. XXX Summer Olympics. Track and Field qualifying. Water Polo: Men's quarterfinal. Cycling: Men's BMX qualifying. Beach Volleyball: Women's bronze medal. Equestrian: Individual jumping final. Canoeing: sprint. Volleyball: Men's quarterfinal, USA vs. Italy. 9:00 AM CT NBC

2. Big Brother. The veto competition and PoV meeting. 7:00 PM CT CBS

3. XXX Summer Olympics. Track and Field finals: Women's 200m, Women's 400m hurdles, Women's long jump, Men's 110m hurdles. Diving: Women's platform qualifying. Beach Volleyball – Women's final, USA vs. USA, May-Treanor/Walsh Jennings vs. Kessy/Ross. 7:00 PM CT NBC

4. Melissa & Joey. Mel isn't happy with Joe after he gives her visiting mom some advice, and the school gum teacher believes Lennox could be pregnant. 7:00 PM CT ABC Family

5. MLB Baseball. San Francisco Giants at St. Louis Cardinals. 7:00 PM CT ESPN

6. Baby Daddy Ben and Tucker date the same woman, Riley offers public speaking tips to Danny, and Bonnie tries online dating. 7:30 PM CT ABC Family

7. Dallas. The Ewing family has a loved on facing a medical crisis, Christopher and Elena find out not everyone is who they appear to be, and old secrets are revealed. 8:00 PM CT TNT

8. Haunted Collector. The team investigates paranormal activity at a historic tavern in Mississippi and the disturbing activity at a family home in Upstate New York. 8:00 PM CT Syfy

9. Million Dollar Listing, LA. When Josh Flagg whines at a listing being three hours away, it’s a lecture from Grandma Edith that gets him back in tune with reality. Meanwhile, Madison’s client does the unspeakable by claiming his listing may be out of his league, and Josh Altman nearly loses his own listing. 8:00 PM CT Bravo

10. Toddlers & Tiaras. Alana returns to compete against Destiny and Deseray. 8:00 PM CT TLC

11. Adam Richman's Best Sandwich in America. Adam Richman’s quest to find the best sandwich in America brings him to the New England, where he will choose the best between a crab grilled cheese sandwich inPortsmouth, NH, a zesty lemon lobster roll in Naples, ME and an oven roasted turkey sandwich in New Haven, CT. 8:00 PM CT Travel Channel

12. Final Witness. A doctor's disappearance is a mystery until a witness explains what he saw the night she went missing. 9:00 PM CT ABC

13. The Soup. 9:00 PM CT E!

14. The Soul Man. Boyce's former backup singer who is now a mega-preacher announces he is quitting the religious show business, and Barton looks for Lolli's advice about the woman he's been seeing. 9:00 PM CT TV Land

15. Paranormal Witness. Season premiere. A young mom calls in a paranormal team after hearing strange noises in a rented bungalow. 9:00 PM CT Syfy

16. Top Chef: Masters. This week, the chefs tackle tricks and food flips on the hibachi grill! The Asian-inspired challenge forces the contestants to face the hibachi heat while the judges watch their every move. One chef even attempts to catch a ball of fire! The challenge proves to be more than fun and games when a mandolin goes missing, and Chris Cosentino’s temper flares for all the judges to see… 9:00 PM CT Bravo

17. Picked Off. The players learn about picking the hard way. 9:00 PM CT HISTORY

18. The Real World. Trey gets upset when Laura flirts with another guy, Robb and Marie have difficulties, and Marie and Swift get angry with each other. 9:00 PM CT MTV

19. The Exes. Holy is determined to find out how her office crush feels about her when he returns to work, and Stuart hires a maid who goes to work quickly turning Haskell's life upside down. 9:30 PM CT TV Land

20. Conan. Steve Carell, Ronda Rousey, and Ziggy Marley are among the guests tonight. 9:00 PM CT TBS

 

What’s Hot on TV Tonight – NY Med

There's nothing like a good medical drama, especially when it's real like NY Med. Tonight it features a woman finding out she has breast cancer, and a liver transplant between brothers. Catch up with all the TV you may have missed at TV-Links.

2. XXX Summer Olympics. Track and Field qualifying, Beach Volleyball: Women's semifinal, USA vs. Brazil. Women's volleyball, USA vs. dominican Republic. Men's Diving: Springboard semifinal. Women's water polo, USA vs. Australia. Cycling: track final. 9:00 AM CT NBC

2. XXX Summer Olympics. Gymanastics finals: Men's parallel bars, Men's high bar, Women's balance beam, Women'sn floor exercise. Track and Field finals: Women's 100m hurdles, Men's 1500m, Men's high jump. Beach Volleyball: Women's semifinal: USA vs. China. 7:00 PM CT NBC

3. Pretty Little Liars Spencer and Aria try to save his college career by stopping by the Kahn brothers' party, but end up playing a “Truth” game with Jenna, and Hanna gets a text about Caleb from”A.”. 7:00 PM CT ABC Family

4. Dateline on OWN. A young suburban mom disappears from her neighborhood. 7:00 PM CT OWN

5. Craft Wars. Crafts are sculpted out of musical instruments. 7:00 PM CT TLC

6. The L.A. Complex. Connor has a difficult decision to make, Kaldrick visits his dad, Nick tries to one up Sabrina at her own game, and Beth gets herself into trouble. 8:00 PM CT CW

7. Destination Truth. The team prepares for a harrowing trek through the back woods of Transylvania in search of a real-life vampire monster. 8:00 PM CT Syfy

8. Shipping Wars. In the first half hour, Roy does something unthinkable to a baseball legend sculpture, and Jennifer helps a heartbroken customer who doesn't want to part with a favorite possession. In the second half hour, Chris and Robbie move some of the king of rock 'n roll's historical pieces, and Jarrett heads to a restaurant opening. 8:00 PM CT A&E

9. Beverly Hills Nannies. Amanda gets a colonic to get ready for a blind ndate, Kristin considers starting her own agency, Justin has to learn how to sim, and Scott gets forceful with the Margolis children. 8:00 PM CT ABC Family

10. Dance Moms. Jill wants Kendall to replace Paige the the numbers for the week, Maddie goes to shoot her guest role on Drop Dead Diva, leaving rehearsals, and Brooke has back pain. 8:00 PM CT Lifetime

11. NY Med. A single mom finds out she has breast cancer, surgeons work together on a liver transplant between brothers, and an ER resident reacts to a prank. 9:00 PM CT ABC

12. Haunted Highway. Investigate an abandoned outpost and more paranormal happenings with Jack, Dana, Devin and Jael. 9:00 PM CT Syfy

13. Storage Wars. In the first half hour, Darrell lets his son try the lockers, and Dave hits big buying in bulk. In the second half hour, Barry brings gifts, Dave makes a profit, and Darrell and Brandon hit big with an older item. 9:00 PM CT A&E

14. Our America with Lisa Ling. “Labeled for Life.” 9:00 PM CT OWN

15. Love Broker. Lori’s first client Doug says he knows during the first second he meets a woman if there’ll be a connection. Lori however, tries to persuade him that true love connections can happen beyond the first impression. Her second client Justin claims to just now be ready to find his true love, despite being unemployed and nearly 40. 9:00 PM CT Bravo

16. What Not to Wear. A woman needs help picking out a more appropriate Southern belle fantasy wardrobe. 9:00 PM CT TLC

17. The Glee Project. While judging Actability week, Dianna Agron gets the group excited, and emotions run deep. 9:00 PM CT Oxygen

18. Teen Mom. Debra meets Farrah's boyfriend, Catelynn lends support to her mom, Bentley has a difficult time adjusting to Maci's new house, and Amber and Gary struggle with shared custody. 9:00 PM CT MTVp>22. Conan. Lisa Kudrow, Vince Gilligan, and Grouplove are the guests tonight. 10:00 PM CT TBS

 

What’s Hot on TV Tonight – Gymnastics and Track and Field

The Olympics is great summer TV. Any time there isn't something more interesting on, NBC fits the bill. Tonight they have more Individual Gymnastics competitions, and several Field and Track events, as well as other events. Catch up with all the TV you may have missed at TV-Links.

1. XXX Summer Olympics. Track and field qualifying: Women's 100m hurdles, women's 1500m, and women's steeplechase final. Men's water polo, USA vs. Hungary. Men's volleyball: USA vs. Tunisia. Equestrian. Cycling. Synchronized swimming: duet qualifying. Canoeing. 9:00 AM CT NBC

2. MLB Baseball. New York Yankees at Detroit Tigers. 6:00 PM CT ESPN

3. XXX Summer Olympics. Gymnastics finals: Men's Still rings, Men's vault, Women's uneven bars. Track and Field finals: Men's 400m, Men's 400m hurdles, Women's pole vault. Men's beach volleyball, USA vs. Latvia. Diving: Men's springboard qualifying. Cycling. 7:00 PM CT NBC

4. Bachelor Pad. An ice cream-themed obstacle course, three-on-one dates, and the contestants start coupling up. 7:00 PM CT ABC

5. The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Amy is jealous of Ricky's new life in college 7:00 PM CT ABC Family

6. Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta. Stevie tries to save his relationship with Mimi, Erica gets disturbing news, and Rashida and Kirk fight. 7:00 PM CT VH1

7. The Closer. Outside of a home, and security guard and veteran are found dead, and the DA's office stifles Brenda's investigations. Raydor and Pope find the department leak. 8:00 PM CT TNT

8. Warehouse 13. Everyone pitches in to prevent a a box of accidentally unleashed artifacts from wiping a small town off the map. 8:00 PM CT Syfy

9. Bunheads. Michelle finds out Fanny has a long-distance boyfriend, and Fanny gives Boo a sought-after role in a performance after Sasha acts up. 8:00 PM CT ABC Family

10. The Real Housewives of New York. Over lunch, LuAnn confides in Sonja that she's trying to have a baby with Jacques. Sonja worries whether not Jacques intentions with LuAnn are pure, and drunkenly confronts him at the housewife holiday party. Her attack on Jacques seems to hit too close to home, leaving most of the housewives wondering if Sonja is really just taking her own issues out on him instead…. 8:00 PM CT Bravo

11. Bizarre Foods America. Andrew Zimmern creates a menu inspired by his travels around the world for a hungry dinner crowd in Los Angeles. He works and eats as he shops for the unique ingredients he plans to serve at his one-night-only pop up restaurant. From learning how to make pig-face bacon, to having some tense moments surrounding sea urchin aspic, to working against the clock in a cramped kitchen to feed inpatient diners, Zimmern faces some great challenges. 8:00 PM CT Travel Channel

12. Single Ladies. Keisha makes her choice, and April and Reggie's conflict brews into a storm. 8:00 PM CT VH1

13. The Glass House. The eliminated contestants come back into the house, team compete in a skill and endurance challenge, and a contestant is permanently eliminated. 9:00 PM CT ABC

14. Perception. Pierce and Moretti tend to the investigation of the murder of a young man who made claims of hearing the word of God, and Pierce gets an award from the university for his research. 9:00 PM CT TNT

15. Alphas. An investigation leads Harken and Hicks to go undercover in a secret, underground Alphas-only Fight club. Guest starring Erin Way. 9:00 PM CT Syfy

16. Miss Advised. In the season finale, Amy discusses how her prom disaster date may be the last time she puts herself out there for love. While one love expert still struggles to find a match, another’s future in love looks pretty solid. Emily's trip to Napa with David takes a sudden turn and morphs their relationship forever. 9:00 PM CT Bravo

17. Four Houses. A suburban ranch modern country retreat, an eco-friendly bungalow, and a bohemian chalet. 9:00 PM CT TLC

18. Hotel Impossible. Anthony Melchiorri heads to Daytona Beach, FL to transform The Dream Inn. While he renovates the beachside hotel’s dilapidated rooms and hideous yellow exterior, Melchiorri simultaneously works to amend the family owners’ damaging and confusing management style – all to keep this hotel from going under. 9:00 PM CT Travel Channel

19. Bad Girls Club: Mexico. The girls vacation in sunny La Paz with new housemate Andrea, and Christina's fiery temper targets Ashley. 9:00 PM CT Oxygen

20. Teen Wolf. Scott helps with the championship lacrosse game, and Allison and Argent search for Derek and his wolves. 9:00 PM CT MTV

21. Push Girls. The girls head out on a challenging ski trip, and Cody's boyfriend needs to prove he can be a caretaker. 9:00 PM CT Sundance Channel

22. Conan. Eric Stonestreet, Dominic Monaghan, and Nora Jones are the guests tonight. 10:00 PM CT TBS

 

Top Chef Masters 4 – Episode 2 – Lady Gaga’s Sad Pineapple Cake

Looks like I am back in midseason form – with a column woefully late. Blame the talented Olympic athletes from around the world, along with the need to work and do some quality parenting. Oh, and Tony Horton has played a part in my tardiness.

Anyway, we have Episode 2 of Masters to talk about, so let’s get started with the Quickfire. What’s that? No Quickfire? Well, that sure makes that section easy to write about. And it likely means a grueling elimination challenge is coming their way. As Stone arrives with a young man and woman next to him, the likelihood of a wedding challenge becomes strong. And in fact, that’s exactly what we have. Meet Jay and Christine – who have had some issues with their wedding. Christine’s best friend died in a car crash before their wedding, and prompted them to postpone. Upon the rescheduling, the place they found for the wedding absconded with their deposit. Strike Two. One would start to wonder if fate was trying to tell them something. However, I am not one of those people. Romantic at heart, dontcha know.

So, the cupids at Magical Elves came to the rescue and lined up several world-class chefs to cook them a wedding feast at Ravella’s in Lake Las Vegas. The chefs will cook as one team and make a spread for 200 people – from cocktail hour to dessert – at the wedding the next day. Record scratch sound! Tomorrow? They have to make it all in one day! Yikes. Thankfully for some of them, the couple is fans of Asian flavors – right in some chefs’ wheelhouse. They also want a many-layered cake, thus putting one chef firmly on the firing line thanks to the show’s long history of cake failures. Art chooses to do the cake, humblebragging that he has made cakes for Lady Gaga, Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey. It won’t be the last time Gaga’s cake gets a shoutout this episode. The name dropping? Getting old.

As Kerry sings Viva Las Vegas – not Viva Las Gaygas (that’s for all of you Chandler Bing fans) – they head to purchase ingredients and supplies. Bring me 15 pounds of crab meat! Get your okra over here!! Debbie wants to make a light Thai papaya salad. What could go wrong with that plan? Oh, no papayas. Yeah, she’s doomed. Takashi shouts for pickles. Art stacks up some yogurt. And CC and Takashi do an amazing last second run and relay for pork belly. Part of the Mens’ 200-meter Meat Toss competition. Unfortunately for Kerry, in the scramble to get to the checkout, his cart full of canned crab fails to make it out of the store.

Prep time – four hours worth – begins and Chris and Art squabble over the oven. This is going to get tiresome between these two. Chris is so much a kitchen diva I think he needs a diva-like nickname. For now, he’ll be CC unless I can think of something better. Regardless, he wants the oven and doesn’t want crap from Art. Stone shows up and comments on Kerry’s corn. There’s a euphemism in there somewhere. We also learn that Tom was best man at Kerry’s wedding, and did the food. Ok, if Tom likes this guy, I will have to go along. Of course, if Tom liked almost anyone, I’d give it a go. He is just that cool.

Not all that surprising, Mark lets us know that his charity is a Maine group pushing for same sex marriage legislation. He and Clark have been together for 25 years, and cannot get married in Maine. That’s right – these two guys are a threat to marriages across the board. (massive sarcasm) One thing is for sure, these guys won’t be eating any pickle/chicken sandwiches at Chick-fil-A anytime soon. And judging by the fit he had when The Hat took some of Clark’s shelf space, I wouldn’t want to get in their way. And I’d like to say, that instead of getting fired up over shelving, he should look into a class action lawsuit against his hairdresser.

With two hours to service, CC puts on his apron like it was body armor and Art and Lorena head to a separate dessert-only kitchen. And all of a sudden – the kids get married! Hooray! Mazel Tov! There as guests for the ceremony were Bert, Ruth, Stone and Krista. One note – Krista sent me a really great tweet last week playing along with my Katniss reference and promising to go to the red carpet in a flaming chariot. First of all, I’m holding you to it. Second of all, awesome sense of humor. And third, you can’t encourage me on these pages, because I can’t help myself. Say bye bye to mild-mannered food critic Krista, say hello to “girl on fire” food critic Katniss.

Project Runway Season 10: Of Lexus and the Emmys

Last week on Project Runway, the designers confronted the “unconventional materials” challenge, in which they had to make clothing out of candy.  Ven won and Lantie was sent home.

On the runway, Heidi tells everybody that they will have to make a red carpet look.  She then sends them off to meet with Tim, who is standing in front of a bunch of luxury cars.  He then informs everybody that this is the “Lexus challenge,” in which they will have to make a red carpet look fit for the Emmys.  The designers will also have to incorporate their car’s color in their look, and they will have to work in teams of two.  There are the usual groans at this, as working with a partner involves compromise at best and muting one’s own fashion sensibilities at worst.

Instead of drawing names from the usual Ominous Velvet Bag of Unnecessary Drama, Tim gives  working car keys to everybody.  Each pair of designers will then pick up their client.  They will have thirty minutes to talk to their client and $300.00 to spend at Mood.

Andrea and Christopher get the brown car and go to pick up their client, who turns out to be Anya, the winner from Season 9.  Sonjia and Nathan pick up Valerie from Season 8, while Buffi and Elena get Season 3’s Laura.  Ven and Fabio pick up Kenley of Season 5, and Gunnar and Kooan get Irina from Season 6.  Raul and Alicia pick up Season 7’s Mila, while Dmitry and Melissa get April from Season 8.  April has dyed her hair again– and it’s lavender this time.

We get the usual complaints and commentary from the contestants.  Gunnar is worried about being teamed with Kooan, who had been in the bottom.  Ven is concerned about Fabio’s skills, as the latter has so far been a strictly middle-of-the-pack contender.  Alicia and Raul, on the other hand, are pleased to be working together, as they both specialize in menswear.  Um, they do know that Mila’s not a dude, right?

The designers meet with their clients and talk things over.  During this, Andrea and Christopher wisely ask Anya what she does not want.  She responds she doesn’t want anything flowy or that looks like she herself could have made it.  She wants something a bit more structured for the Emmys.  Afterwards, the designers sketch for the traditional 30 minutes.

At Mood, Tim reminds everybody to think “Emmy red carpet.”  Elena and Buffi both like outfits with big shoulders and look for material they can use for that.  Melissa and Dmitry drew the silver car and thus frantically look for a silver fabric that doesn’t look cheap and that they can use.

At Parson’s, everybody gets to work.  Gunnar is worried about both working with the eccentric Kooan and making a look for the outspoken and demanding Irina.  Raul notes that Mila also has a strong opinion.  Ven says that he and Fabio decided to make a look that would incorporate Kenley’s silhouette and their fashion sensibilities.  Smart.

Tim comes in to tell the contestants they have until midnight to complete the look–and that the winner will accompany their client to the Emmys.  Note the singular.  This may be a team challenge, but there will be only one winner and one loser.  Elena tells us that she and Buffi have divided their work– and Buffi isn’t happy about the division of labor, since it involves her ironing the pleats in the dress, while Elena does the actual designing.  Raul and Alicia and working on a black and red print dress.  Ven DR’s that he doesn’t like working with Fabio, as he considers him ignorant.  Dmitry and Melissa moan about the difficulties of working with silk charmeuse.

Tim comes in to make his rounds and he’s brought the clients/previous contestants with him.  He and Irina stop by Gunnar and Kooan, who have only a dress form with tape to show for their efforts.  Irina does not look happy, and Tim warns them that their current design– as marked out on the dummy– could look vulgar.

He and April are much happier with Dmitry and Melissa’s efforts.  April loves the fabric and Tim notes that the dress looks almost liquid.  Dmitry or Melissa know their draping, it seems.

Tim and Mila stop by Alicia and Raul, and both question their fabric choice, saying the red and black print looks too “daytime” and casual.  Raul suggests using black fabric instead.  Mila accepts this– apparently forgetting that the contestants are supposed to use a fabric the same color as their car.  Alicia and Raul had driven a red car, not a black one.

Next up are Ven and Fabio, and Kenley literally squeals with delight when she sees the navy blue dress that they’re working on.  She applauds Ven’s taste in fabric, and thinks the dress itself looks like a “modern Grace Kelly.”  Valerie, although quieter, is similarly pleased with the gold dress Nathan and Sonjia show her.

Anya has reservations about Christopher and Andrea’s look, as she believes it shows too much skin.  Tim agrees and says the gown should either have a low-cut front or a low-cut back, but not both.  The contestants decide to fill in the front and keep the low-cut back.

Last up are Elena and Buffi, who are making a black dress for Laura.  She notes that it’s very “ambitious,” which is often code for “you’ve bitten off more than you can chew.”  She then suggests a different way to do the pleating, which upsets Elena.  Buffi calls Elena a “perfectionist,” leading the latter to stomp out.  Buffi considers leaving herself, but some of the other designers suggest she stay and work.  (In other words, take advantage of Elena’s absence to do some construction, as opposed to mindless pleating.)

Elena eventually comes back to work, expressing shock about the lack of time.  (Hasn’t she watched this show?)  Christopher DR’s that Elena is like somebody who came out of the woods.  Elena tries to justify her own behavior by talking about how she grew up in the Ukraine and therefore had to be tough.  If I had a dollar for every time somebody confused “toughness” with “rudeness,” I would be about as rich as Bill Gates.

Meanwhile, Christopher thinks Andrea is working much too slowly.  The clients come in to try on their dresses, and Raul tells us that he hates red carpet looks.  That’s practically blasphemy to the average designer, who lives for the chance to make a fancy gown– but Raul is a menswear designer.  When men attend red carpet events, they wear black tie or the like.  Thus,  while Raul is probably used to making the occasional tuxedo, he’s probably never made a gown before.  On that note, it’s time for everybody to go back to the apartment.

The next morning, the designers get back to work.  The clients, who will serve as models, come in.  Kenley (loudly) likes her dress.  Christopher thinks Andrea is lackadaisical as well as slow.  Irina spots a flaw in the back of her dress and demands that Kooan or Gunnar fix it, thus upsetting Kooan.

On the runway, Heidi introduces the guest judge, an actress named Krysten Ritter, who plays the lead in Don’t Trust the B_____ in Apartment 23.  She also used to be a model.

Buffi and Elena made a long black gown for Laura.  It has a pleated, sleeveless bodice.  Christopher and Andrea made a brown gown for Anya.  It has an open back and an awkwardly placed and overly long slit going up the front.  Anya is also wearing a thin studded belt that looks fine from the front– but looks strange from the back, as it’s well above any fabric.

Ven and Fabio made a knee-length navy blue dress for Kenley.  It has Ven’s signature pleats on the front.  (He needs to watch that.  Sooner or later, the judges will get bored with it.)  Dmitry and Melissa made a long silver gown out of silk charmeuse for April.  It has 3/4 length sleeves, an exposed back, and a sash.

Raul and Alicia put Mila in a plain black gown.  It’s sleeveless and has a cutout in the back.  They added a plain red belt, since the rules said they had to incorporate their car’s color in the design– and they didn’t drive a black car.  For some unfathomable reason, they also gave poor Mila an ugly hair extension to wear.

Gunnar and Kooan made a sleeveless white gown for Irina.  They added a gauzy white scarf and a silver collar necklace to jazz it up.  Sonjia and Nathan made a glittering gold gown for Valerie.

After the show, Heidi calls Nathan, Sonjia, Dmitry, Melissa, Elena, and Buffi.  They are safe and will move on to the next round.  The other four teams have the highest and lowest scores between them and will have to face the judges.  Elena wishes she had placed in  the top and not merely been safe.  The judges’ call strikes me as strange, as I thought Nathan, Sonjia, Dmitry, and Melissa had made the best dresses.

Heidi goes on to say that Gunnar, Kooan, Fabio, and Ven had the high scores, while Andrea, Christopher, Alicia, and Raul had the low scores.  The judges then start with Ven and Fabio, who had wanted to present Kenley with modern luxury and make a dress with clean lines.  (Actually, it’s Ven who does all the talking here.)

Nina thinks it looks expensive, while Heidi likes the color and the fact they made it short.  Krysten disagrees, saying a dress for an awards show ought to be longer.  Michael loves how they polished Kenley’s natural style.  When asked who should go to the Emmys, both guys nominate themselves.

Gunnar and Kooan tell the judges they were aiming for old-school class.  Gunnar adds he was happy to work on a white dress, while Kooan admits he’d been working outside his comfort zone.

Heidi calls the dress “eye-catching” and says she’d wear it.  Nina likes the overall design, and Krysten likes the bare shoulders.  Michael likes the silhouette.  When asked who should go to the Emmys, Kooan simply points at Gunnar, who happily agrees.

Then the judges talk to the low-scoring designers.  Raul and Alicia talk about how they’d wanted to give their look a menswear vibe.  Mila says she’d wanted something more fitted.  Heidi thinks the dress is boring and Nina calls it frumpy.  Heidi also hates the hair extension ponytail.  Krysten also dislikes the dress and Michael wonders aloud why Raul and Alicia didn’t play to their strengths and use a menswear fabric instead.  When the judges ask who should go home, Raul and Alicia at first try to protect themselves by saying it was an equal partnership– and then Raul admits that he’d drawn the design.

Finally, Christopher and Andrea have to try and defend their look.  Christopher doesn’t even try– he just says he’s “mortified.”  Heidi thinks they bit off more than they could chew, while Nina thinks the look is hackneyed and outdated.  Krysten thinks it looks like something you could buy for Halloween, and Michael calls it “bad pageant,” especially with that awful slit.  When the judges ask who should go home, Andrea and Christopher begin arguing, and there’s a lot of “he said, she said.”  Christopher gets upset and Andrea calls the conversation “demeaning.”

After that, the judges have their chat.  Gunnar and Kooan made a dress with a great silhouette, but chose the wrong fabric.  Ven and Fabio worked well together to produce  a chic and expensive-looking dress.  By contrast, Christopher and Andrea had made a cheesy and clichéd dress, while Alicia and Raul had made a frumpy dress with zero sex appeal.

The judges then announce the winner, and it’s Ven.  Fabio, Kooan, and Gunnar are all in.  Christopher and Andrea are also in, leaving Alicia and Raul in the bottom two.  Alicia is in and Raul is out.

The following morning, the women wake up to find Andrea has disappeared.

Next week:  Andrea is gone and one of the guys also considers quitting.

 

What’s Hot on TV Tonight – More Gymnastics!

It's more gymnastics tonight on the Olympics. It's the individual events, with a few for the guys, and a few for the gals. Catch up on your other favorite shows at TV-Links.

1. 60 Minutes. A doctor with a belief that sugar is toxic, and a face blindness. 6:00 PM CT CBS

2. XXX Summer Olympics. Gymnastics finals: Men's floor exercise, Men's pommel horse, Women's vault. Track and Field finals: Men's 100m, Women's 400m, Women's triple jump. Diving: women's springboard final. Beach Volleyball: quarterfinals. 6:00 PM CT NBC

3. Big Brother. With the game restarted, the new head of household nominates two players for eviction. 7:00 PM CT CBS

4. Secret Millionaire. The Camping World CEO goes back to his hometown of MIami to look for people worthy of his donations. 7:00 PM CT ABC

5. Leverage. The team attempts to convince a wealthy scientist who took money from a former research partner that he made contact with aliens. 7:00 PM CT TNT

6. Hillbilly Handfishin'. Police officers in Pennsylvania watch the competition very closely, Reno cocktail waitresses try Okie noodling, and two Jersey ballroom dancers get used to country life. 7:00 PM CT Animal Planet

7 Xtreme Waterparks. Ride the tallest half-pipe in the world at Aquatica in Texas. Then slide, dive and swing into New Jersey's Mountain Creek Waterpark. Finally, brave the world's only double looping water slide at Wave Water World in Austria. 7:00 PM CT Travel Channel

8. Mob Wives Chicago. Pia tries out a new career, Christina needs to decide about living with her ex, and NOra gets ready to exhume her dad's remains. 7:00 PM CT VH1

9. MLB Baseball. Milwaukee Brewers at St. Louis Cardinals. 7:00 PM CT ESPN

10. Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. A 543-pound guy aims to get healthy to be a better dad and husband, and the Harlem Globetrotters host a day of physical challenges. 8:00 PM CT ABC

11. Falling Skies. The 2nd Mass moves on to Charleston, the group grieves over recent losses, Weaver finds out about Tector's background, and Matt begins bonding with a harnessed girl. 8:00 PM CT TNT

12. Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Kris is talked into seeing her sick mom in San Diego, Kourtney considers water birth, and Bruce heads to a sleep clinic. 8:00 PM CT E!

13. The Glades. Jim and Jennifer head to a remote island to look into the murder of an $80 million lottery winner, and Jim has more and more difficulty connecting with Callie in Atlanta. 8:00 PM CT A&E

14. Hoarding: Buried Alive. City codes enforcement have their eyes on a collapsing roof, mold, and an overflowing septic tank. 8:00 PM CT TLC

15. Insane Coaster Wars. These lightning-fast coasters reach mind-blowing speeds in record-breaking time! But which coaster will blow past the competition – Ohio's Top Thrill Dragster (Cedar Point), Nevada's Desperado (Buffalo Bill’s Resort and Casino), New England's Bizarro (Six Flags New England), or California's Xcelerator (Knott’s Berry Farm)? 8:00 PM CT Travel Channel

16. Ice Road Truckers. Will someone will finally put Jack in his place? 8:00 PM CT HISTORY

17. Drop Dead Diva. Jane and Grayson's client is addicted to eating her dead husband's ashes, Kim and Park handle the aftermath of Gina's actions, and Teri tries to get Luke's help in launching her music career. 8:00 PM CT Lifetime

18. Snapped. A prominent San Francisco attorney is shot by a judge's stepdaughter. 8:00 PM CT Oxygen

19. True Blood. Eric plots his escape, Sookie finds a clue about her parents' murder, Andy and Jason look for leads, Alcide remembers his pack induction, Arlene is caught in the go-between of Terry and Patrick, and Steve gets a new pet. 8:00 PM CT HBO

20. The Great Escape. Three teams wind their way through an underground maze in the underbelly of Los Angeles. 9:00 PM CT TNT

21. Political Animals. Elaine finds the country in the midst of a diplomatic crisis, T.J. has a difficult time finding support from his family, and Anna accidentally shows Elaine's political intentions. 9:00 PM CT USA

22. Longmire. Politics make Walt's investigation into the death of the Tribal Council president more difficult, and Walt feels betrayed after finding out about Cady and Branch's affair. 9:00 PM CT A&E

23. Oprah's Lifeclass. Navigating through conversations that people intentionally avoid. 9:00 PM CT OWN

24. Army Wives. Fort Marshall gets ready to welcome military dignitaries for the centennial celebration, Hector and Gloria handle the aftermath of Penny's return, and Roxy and Trevor worry about their babies' health. 9:00 PM CT Lifetime

25. Bridezillas. Bridezilla Tasha gives him a Clay Aiken inspired makeover, but sadly, Jeff emerges looking more like Ronald McDonald than an American Idol. When her mother comments on her lack of skills with rhinestones and glue guns, Tasha melts down outside. According to Bridezilla Michelle's groom, Greg, nothing says lifetime commitment like baking your own wedding cake with your fiancé, but he throws the partially made confection into the yard upon discovering his Zilla started on it without him. She chews Greg’s father out for being late to the rehearsal, and ultimately tries to ban him from the nuptials. 9:00 PM CT WE

26. Breaking Bad. Walt celebrates another birthday as Skyler considers her options. Meanwhile, an associate complicates Walt and Jesse's plan. 9:00 PM CT AMC

27. Newsroom. An anonymous sources gives details on an important story, and the staff ends it's anniversary party early. 9:00 PM CT HBO

28. Weeds. Nancy restarts her job search, Jill drops a doozie on Andy and doug, and Silas searches for his stolen plants. 9:00 PM CT Showtime

29. Episodes. Marc wants Matt to convince a former costar to be a guest star, and SEan and Beverly cowrite a speech. 9:30 PM CT Showtime